The Qubit Comedy & Drama Hour: Program Pitch for Pranks

by Paige Turner

Copyright© 2014 by Paige Turner

Science Fiction Story: This is 'the weekly close out' telephone calls between Terri Steele and her old pal 'Mickey' and a bit about what Detroit 2015 would have taken to put on. I'd say 'we can't do anything without MONEY!' pretty much sums up the reactions of everyone in Detroit and why nothing happened with this idea. And why nothing positive happens here in America any more.

Caution: This Science Fiction Story contains strong sexual content, including Nudism   sci-fi sex story,sci-fi adult story.

The bracketing commercials shown at the beginning of a show and that book case the interior 'skits and mini shows' has as it's start a commercial showing someone moving boxes out in the garage and getting stuff down from the high shelves and one of the things that comes down is a guitar case covered with dust. A brief flashback to the night before with his two buddies, both in their early forties, seeing a commercial on TV for 'you got what it takes to be a One Hit Wonder?' and a pitch for old garage bands to send in whatever original material they had that they thought could have made a hit. They laughed about their days as a high school band, and continue with the poker game, and one says 'but you know, that song of Steve's wasn't too shabby. Steve shrugs. Scene fades to garage being cleaned out real time. 'What's that?' Wife asks. 'My old Strat.' 'I didn't know you played violin.' Guy laughs, 'Time for you to meet my better half; Sweet Baby Jane, ' and flips up the lid and there is a primo ax inside that case. 'Hey, does your brother still have that set up for converting cassettes into digital files set up?' 'Yeah, why?' 'I think our old garage band has a contender. I want to send this in to the Detroit contest.' 'Hmm. You do know you have to get up and perform in public, right?' 'Gives me incentive to clear out the garage.' 'Gives you incentive to get together with your old homies is more like it, so have them bring their own beer when they come over to help you, sweetie. Now that I have you motivated, I'm going to go get cleaned up and motivate on out of here and leave all your empties in the recycle bin. I think I'm going to tell Jane and Gerri that we're going to lunch since their husbands won't be around the house to work on their honey do lists. Gerri's designated driver this week and have fun you!' A 'Drink Responsibly: Detroit 2015!

This is a very quick and dirty approach to telling a story in a story inside of a story. Detroit 2015! is a total work of fiction at this point, but by January 3, 2015, if it should go on the air, there is a social responsibility that goes with this entire spoof ad campaign/comedy show/science fiction mystery/and basically the job is slaughtering sacred cows by the herd.

The thirty second commercials are stories too. This entire crew of husbands being herded around by their wives viewing this as an 'at least it gets our lists done faster if we put up with practicing out in the garage' and the guys are pretty good. They'd all been in bands in college and even after college as they work on their old stuff, they haul out some of the new. The fire up the old cassette and there is a very early version of 'Scat The Cat'. Then someone hauls out a later version. 'I could see this here' and out comes a very hip version of the old tune, well polished by years more guitar playing experience. Another instrument joins in and 'hold on, Larry, it's trash night, the pizza's here, ' and back to reality for the band. This is a simple story line being told here about these guys who'd had a band, and had somehow maintained their friendship through a fluke series of circumstances. One guys' wife is an ex bandmate's sister, the guys and girls had all gone to the same high school and one couple had gotten married and stayed in town while the other four went away to college. Family business ties had brought the others back to the small town, one guys' family owned the bank, the other's father ran a manufacturing company he was expected to take over in another five or ten years, but was bored with his job. The guy who stayed in town has become a small time remodeling under the table contractor that works on some very high priced homes and is used to them having money and him not. They just accept each other even though they come from different walks of life.

One of the guys, Earl, has a deep bass voice, a Cab Calloway resonance to it. 'Scat the Cat' allows him to step out of the dull banker role life has brought him and let out the entertainer, the showman who knew how do do this one song so good that everyone else had a shot at it too.

Scat the Cat! Scat the Cat! Wasn't it sad, when he discovered that, He really wasn't sure, where he was at! He was Scat! He was Scat! Hee Wasssss SCAT!

The CAT! Who Sat! And Sat! And Sat and Sat!

He sat ZaZen Until the End Then he thought he stop and do it again!

(repeat and variations on lyrics)

An entirely fictitious alternative reality that has an internal logic to the pieces being fed each week to the general broadcast audience. The Qubit Comedy and Drama Hour and having the television mini shows inside the show already produced with professionally crafted television commercials creates a hall of mirrors effect. Tying it into an internet game in which the house is posting odds on the show actually having the guts to ask some damned embarrassing questions of some damned important people, you can actually have a clip of the guys in the band watching a TV set while the show is on and commenting on that night's episode, which has not yet been seen by the general viewing audience! The deja vu joke might miss most of the general audience, or it could be done across multiple weeks. 'Hey, listen, I'd love to chat a bit longer by I've got Robin Williams on hold. Love you too, ' Inserting a clip of Robin Williams on hold is simple. Just use a still image. Later on, insert same picture, accompanied by a click of a phone hanging up. Phone goes away, but Q. Was Robin Williams on hold for this skit? No. It was a prank. And back to the show in progress. Because this stuff all winds up on the internet, you can geek out which conversation goes with which skit. With all of the WTF?? factor of a comedy show doing heavy political thinking and turning an actual idea into a comedy series/drama/variety hour, the pieces of this puzzle fall into place.


Garunda Communications is a fictitious business. It is bringing you this show from another reality, so as far as 'is this a real television show?' goes, the answer is 'maybe' and there are a lot of very odd variables involved in this that I have no idea on how to estimate the outcome of.

A ninety day social experiment the likes of which the world has never seen before. Can this species we belong to actually solve our problems by the means we are using? No. This show is an outside-the-box experiment in global problem solving. An electronic reality in which a real city's post industrial problems can be looked at with a view towards remaking the city into what people will want to live in tomorrow.

Media is what delivers ideas to us, when all is said and done. The idea of using a television broadcast to deceive the public is not what is intended here. Nor is this either party's political agenda at stake here, except that it gives both sides of the isle something to test their theoretical ideal government against. The Democratic ideals of social welfare programs has foundered in a sea of red tape, the Republican 'small enough to drown in a bath tub' guzzled it's way from a surplus to a staggering amount of debt that fell hardest on the lower rungs of the socio economic tiers. Preaching at people does not work, but if you can entertain them and engage their minds in various series and their evident overlaps, you start to see how the tapestry is woven together in multiple ways. Expensive commercials with no product being pitched except for a product placement within the commercial for a non existent product, products, or contest. The entire show is for sale and product placement is one of the 'reality drama' show Balls of Steele's specialties, just as showing the outtakes for 'whomever wins this product placement spot in the movie' swapping of bags of junk food while the actor does the line again and again where that little snippet is to be inserted into the segment of show later on. The wheeling and dealing of Terri Steele's world is reflected in the commercials, behind the scenes business deals, consultations with lawyers, corporations, and even reach into what the Minister of Graft & Corruption's campaign goals are, which is to raise money for graft and corruption through political advertising. The Minister of Vice is an entirely different character, a Beltway insider's insider, an insider's 'insider trading' plutocrat who songs and dances and sings about ... Mr TEN! under wear for MEN!! ... considering the production values of that number, being as it would be an over the top camp Busby Berkley costumed past even the usual standards of Beach Blanket Babylon, with a little Circe de Soliel thrown in for good measure, a 'way past the usual standards of Broadway' can be put together for the numbers that are sung in praise of ... the Toast of the Castro: The gay that everyone knows! Mr TEN!!! and of course, those with dirty minds will think that it was just nepotism that got that hunk of dim witted blond beef cake this role.

This is an attempt to create a twenty six week block of television to sell an upgraded form of government to the American people. Not an American Revolution, but an American Evolution!

I know that reading a pitch for a series of very high cost television production numbers to be put together into a variety show hour starring a pair of well stacked blondes and a gay flamer as 'the non identical twins Terri/Terry starring in The Cross Time Pirates!' sounds risky, but the risks can be managed. The basic idea of the Police Pizza and Pizza Police can be represented to officers and officials of the jurisdictions in which the various pranks would be pulled. A full disclosure that this is intended to be a series using Candid Camera stunts that would tie in with the police community outreach program 'the Pizza Police' as well as produce a series of safe driving commercials that would be funny and intriguing to watch.

The idea of shooting a 'real movie' in Detroit with Tim Allan playing Detroit Tim, the trainee Minister of Graft and Corruption's understudy trying to lean how to bribe people with rubber checks through on the job training ties into the program. IF the real Detroit Common Council is willing to play along with us, that is. What can we actually say? 'We hope this does your city a lot of good.' is about it, isn't it?

As far as 'is this legal?' goes, it's a spoof, a sardonic look at how America is these days, how things aren't done and why. The idea of renting a city with a rubber check for a World Game takes a bit of getting used to, but a series of conferences in the Balls of Steele 'behind the scenes' action shows her negotiating for the global broad cast rights to the Time Traveler's Ball. What are the broadcast rights worth to a five day musical festival designed to kick off a contest in which every person on Earth can play? Either through being a contestant in the contest or by being a small investor in tool kits for the contestants? Enough tools to do whatever the job that three person team would be doing that week would be rented to the teams participating in the games. After the games are over, the contestants have the option of buying one of the tool kits and using it for their own businesses. They would have to pay the investors back out of what they made in private business for themselves, or as a single person on that team having his or her team members be responsible for seeing that the debt for the tools was repaid. If worst came to worst, the World Game would pay the debt for the tools off through it's General Operations Account.

We have a chance to significantly alter events, not only in our own country, but in the way the world looks at its problems. The social dynamic of our society has changed from the time of our forefathers, but the forces that drive our society are still at work. Where it seems to run into the rocks is in the way that 'Money' is thought about: Detroit 2015! is a game that is using an artificial 'game marker' as a currency that everyone in the world can understand. One person, unskilled, is worth one Share per day, and they have to learn something for four hours, and work at something for another four. Since all of this stuff being taught is either first aid, or some form of manual labor of one kind or another that is best taught by lookee see, lookee do. How long does it take a laborer to learn how to paint the interior of a house? After three days, that person would work as 'semi skilled painter' for two Shares, which gives them four Shares, another three at one Share per day, which is seven shares, and each meal is a quarter share, so that comes to fifteen meals, or four and three quarter Shares, plus you have tool rent of one share per day, split among the entire team. This is not a simple game to play, and how you manage your Shares and whatever side jobs you can set up has a lot to do with what you can accomplish with your own project house or office or small shop that is being remodeled as your team's project. With CGI graphic and several small sets being various rooms in the graphics package, a very believable 'World Game One: Detroit 2015!' can be achieved.

This is a television show designed to feed the viewers to the interactive Internet websites. Having a 'Little Timmy's Gambling Odds Board' as part of a website for a variety hour series of shows with various rude questions on it that nobody in their right mind would ever actually ask of a celebrity and the odds being post as 'Six Two and Even' for all of the questions, but nobody telling the people using the board what the bet actually is! creates another level of 'real reality gone surrealistic psychedelic' in spades.

Previous to the show being aired, an underground word of mouth rumor campaign would be in effect for six months during the filming of Police Pizza! There is a show in the line up about this community outreach program involving some local people who work out a deal with the local cops. While it looks like the motorists are bribing the police, the way that system is set up, they are just paying their fines instantly on the spot and avoiding having their insurance rates jacked up. This cuts down the number of people appearing in court, which saves the county money, and at the same time helps insure safer highways. This TV show shows how this 'non judicial system' is administrated, how they got the people to appear in the commercials being shown for Pizza Police commercials that are pitching ... what? Comedy? Timmy the time traveling Canadian Kelvinator shows up in the show as a normal 'guys garage' thing in the back ground. It's also popping up in other shows, such as Secret Agent X-3 of the Time Patrol! and is part of the whole 'Tim The Quantum Mechanic' as a 'roadie for a complicated prop technician' Left Coast Tim. IF this turkey actually makes it into production, 'Detroit Tim' will be getting some of Left Coast Tim's phone calls by mistake. LIttle Timmy is the way that Left Coast Tim refers to the refrigerator, which is easily confused with Little Timmy's Sports Book and Sex Toy Empire, Tokai, Nippon. 'Little Timmy' brand of edible underwear, with their dim bulb beefcake Terry spokesmodel, ah; can we take a break here?

The fact that nobody would be able to explain this show to anyone else also adds a bit of surrealism to the show's own audience's experience. Someone can be referring to a 'Little Timmy line' and someone walking up would not know which part of the show they were referencing. And yes, 'you know why they don't make Little Timmy's for women? They melt when they get wet.' This is a very sophomoric, slap stick, double entendre line-driven show, about everything that pushes anyone's buttons. You can insert a lot of off the wall humor into a situation just having someone walk between two actors involved in heavy dialogue wearing a sweat shirt with 'Sounds like Bullshit to Me' on it. Putting 'This space for rent: $37,500' on a t shirt and showing a half a dozen reshots of that scene with different Logos on the it certainly sends a message doesn't it? Tossing a Detroit 2015! logo onto a shirt isn't that expensive, being as it is designed in stencil.

Detroit 2015!

World Game 1 Detroit 2015 Contestant We live in a civilization in peril.

What will our times look like to a future civilization? Will it be dusty ruins being excavated by alien archeologists or will the future have humans in it? Right now we are locked up inside this box which has only two sides to it. It is a very simplistic philosophy; agree with me or else. Both parties are out of ideas, we have a staggering debt load to hand over to the next generations and the money system in this country isn't working correctly.

The idea of renting a city of a hundred and forty square miles to throw a World Game in by putting together an hour of television comedy and drama isn't quite what television is understood to be about. Using advertising of a series of fictional products to see if we could sell an actual political idea to the public. Everyone agrees Detroit is a city in a bad way.

Museums being appraised, the city known for 'ruin porn', a huge pension deficit and shrinking population and services. The auto industry doesn't use those sorts of plants any more, it's cheaper to make it somewhere people will work for less, and there are six lane roads that go to plants that closed in the eighties. The socio-economic problems of a city being abandoned because of financial factors out of the control of politicians.

This is a complex problem, and unsolvable within normal boundaries of politics. It is a very real gamble with a huge set of variables in it. It's a package deal that can't be disassembled by logic, as there isn't any logic to it outside of the strange logics and paradoxes of the show's own world view.

A drama based on three women's adventures during a World Game that hasn't been played yet. A China Beach grittiness and all that told against the back ground of a story that hasn't yet happened, a small slice of reality made into a television show, just as China Beach was encased in the Viet Nam war, this story line would be encased in the three month adventure that those young women had during that World Game.

Garunda Communications being one of the 'sponsors' of this show isn't merely an accident. Garunda Communications is a frankly speculative venture and the idea of a TV show being sponsored by a tau axial communications provider makes perfect logical sense, but only if you are able to solve Zen Riddles involving such science fiction elements as time travel's classic Grandfather Paradox. So Garunda Communications is looking for Schrodinger's Cat and offer a good sign up bonuses for qualified quantum mechanics. Plucking a strand of multiverse theory our sponsor's communications empire depends on to deliver messages through the Eight Multi Verses it serves and see how it's cheap content, well ... The Fountains of Belle Isle is a kind of stand alone story that seems to have nothing at all to do with the rest of the Hour. It's a grunts-on-the-ground view of the contest, the hassles the women go through with trying to figure out a way each one of their teams can make the most of what they have to work with and learning how to do basic planning and always having to learn something new all the time and the people they meet, have adventures with, what the inside of the contest looked like to those three people.

The idea of six hundred thousand people competing for one billion dollars in cash and a trillion dollars in prizes only makes sense if we can deliver a real product here. This is television out of the Twilight Zone by way of Salvador Dali and NOT the way television has been done before. Only by building a mosaic of time slots in which the shows which would 'beef out' the rest of the hour would fit. Some shows would be completely in the can before the air date of Jan 3, 2015, and some would have 'holes' in the dialogue into which alternative dialogue that could match what current events are would be inserted.

The Alternative Reality Hour, or the Qubit H our, is half of what is going on out on the Internet. The Police Pizza pranks would generate a lot of cell phone videos being posted on the net. That gives pretty instant feedback to how story lines are being received.

A five by five grid of 'Questions from the weeks shows' and the odds being posted. Yes, equals six, No, equals two, Undecided = Zero. You start at the first question. Y/n/? 'No way is she ever going to say that!' 'No, that's not the real person we're seeing on the show.' 'I don't know.' Each one of those can be voice activated. You are given a number of tokens to play the game when you log on and you have twenty five tokens and you can venture answers to the questions. Very cheeky questions, too. About all five of the shows seen that week, each show having five questions. You can let a question go, so if you let all twenty five go, you wind up with twenty five for the week, plus whatever you had from the last week. There is no money changing hands here, it's simply a game that gives instant feedback on 'just how gullible are you?' and that is one of the 'rows' of questions, as rated for difficulty.

Let's say you figure you can answer all the weird questions for one show and you have to start at the base and work your way up. You get to number four and guess wrong and lose all the tokens you had gained by then.

Since you can see where each question has one token, you start with the first question, win, double your money. Next question you have two tokens, win, now have four tokens, then eight, but you lost on number four and now the house has four of your tokens! Thank you for betting with Mr Ten! We got you covered! Mr TEN! Underwear for MEN!

This 'in your face' advertising campaign for line of edible men's underwear creates a shockwave. The blonde beefcake body builder with a long loin cloth saying 'Mr. TEN!' on it half way to his knees is just so totally over the top gay that it stops the mind for a moment: A major American television network is airing this?!!?

Okay, let's talk about the concept 'sex sells' and how this time, the sex is not actually being sold, it is more or less being used as bait.

Each show in this hour will have it's 'regular sponsor' and they will all have their own easily identified logos. For example, the fictitious corporation 'Garunda Communications' brings you the soap opera-ish The Fountains of Belle Isle and they have sponsored this 2039 television series as their contribution to the Qubit Reality Hour. They have a clear cube as their corporate logo on a mirror, and the voice over is 'Garunda Communications, your cross time provider to the Eight Universes; serving Earth since 1773.'

Everyone wonders about how come things don't work. Okay, what we are doing here is providing a piece of entertainment based on what we think of as our 'real reality' and that is to make a buck pitching products.

Pitching a series of shows within a weekly television hour, complete with commercials, that would be pitching a none existent game isn't fair. The idea of using this entire background of interconnections being made on this TV show to actually pitch a real idea to the general public that involves how we as a people do government tip toes along a line all too many people in Hollywood are familiar with; the infamous black listing of writers and actors in the McCarthy era of witch hunts. We live in a very different world than the fifties, and we are just beginning to knit together the stands of a global village.

This is not a Communist Conspiracy, it's pretty much just an unusual way in which to pull off the biggest con game in all of history, and the only thing that really actually makes this thing legal to do is that it's in the Constitution of the United States that the citizens of this country are allowed to form a 'more perfect government' and this private venture certainly does qualify on that grounds. I have no quarrel with the freedoms in the Constitution, I do wish we could throw out Presidents that pursue bad policies like the war in South East Asia, but that is my own view of politics.

And television is the biggest pulpit in the world, isn't it?

The idea of writing an IOU on the future of this city being improved radically by this television show requires some thought. What is a fixed up city actually worth? What do we want this city to be? How can we make it a great place to live and have it be a place which is very user friendly?

World Game One: Detroit 2015 is a nebulous idea to grasp. It requires a lot of work by a lot of people and a way to mesh this all together is to present this idea not as a television show, but as a potential world wide event.

The post industrial cities of nations in Europe and the Americas have shrinking tax bases and crumbling infrastructure. Would two hundred million dollars be enough to rent enough heavy equipment to do all the repurposing of factories, parking lots and almost abandoned neighborhoods having homes moved, plus rip up old roads no longer needed? AND put on a party for about a half a million people with a five day music festival and orgy of automobiles from the past to future models? Billing it as 'The Time Traveler's Ball' and having as many people in costume as we can get sounds like a nice way to raise money for this event. Six hundred thousand people learning how to swing paint brushes, fix side walks, clear out fields, set up stages and shower points and a lot of getting ready for the campers, RV's and boaters that would coming to view 'The Fabulous Ruins of Detroit' for the last time. This is actually a do-able plan, if there is sufficient studies done for the logistics of this venture. A massive order of plywood and timber products, tools, locating and transportation, breaking down the loads and pre positioning the pallets of materials to various job sites, all of this is required to be looked at and analyzed. This is not a real television show, it is real reality. If this idea has merit, before the other shows go into production, talks between various political factions would have to take place and agreements reached as to what the scope of this venture is and where blame is to be fixed in case this fails. It's my idea, so I'm your designated fall guy.

A fixed up Detroit with people living in it and paying property taxes is worth one trillion dollars. True or false or 'I don't know.'

All of the abandoned and foreclosed real estate in the City of Detroit isn't worth one billion dollars. True of course. So a billion dollars is over paying for the bombed out houses and such, so the City of Detroit should be happy with that deal. True or False?

The idea of a half a million people coming to celebrate anything in the City of Detroit is a bit of a mind boggle, True of course, but we live in TV land, so let's not quibble.

The idea of six hundred thousand people from every nation on Earth taking place in a 'game' for cash and prizes kind of boggles the mind, too, come to think of it, but hey! One trillion dollars in prizes! A Billion dollars in Cash!

So what is the bottom line worth here? Five billion bucks for the world wide rights? To the concert series AND the World Game? Is two billion five too much to ask out of that jack pot? And a bill for the City, a bill for the Contestants, a half a billion for the materials, and some for miscellaneous. Is the Big Picture here getting a bit clearer? Yes, this is a hustle, I'm hustling roughly a million people into participating in this, plus another five billion viewing it, and getting away with it because it is being played under a different rule book that is in effect during the running of this game.

Politically it is a no brainer. The two parties both get something out of this deal, the Republican's get the 'less government interference in business' portion, the Democrats get an effective social welfare program that is administered a lot more effectively, self funding, and also eliminates the basic bone of contention between capital and labor simply by dividing up the profit pot fifty fifty going into the venture. Bean counters don't automatically get the fast track to head of the company, as the engineers and workers have just as much say in what kind of product they are turning out and 'cheaper' isn't the driving goal of the company. The financial instrument that is being used to keep track of transactions is an electronic currency that is based on human labor being the basic unit of value. While Detroit 2015 will rake in billions of dollars, handing the General Operations Account over to the UNICEF fund eliminates the private profit motive. 'Who gains?' is the determining factor in any crime, and while this could be considered a 'communist conspiracy' in other times, what it is it isn't evil, it's just an unexpected solution to a very difficult problem that may not work. The most obvious one being that this is a classic example of the 'Not Invented Here' syndrome. Neither party can claim credit for coming up with it, and the fact is, if either one had, the other would have shot it down out of hand. 2015 is past the post mid term elections and the President of the United States is a lame duck, but a very powerful lame duck behind the scenes.

Running this directly is out of the question for anyone in the White House. But as this is also a comedy hour that mixes science fiction and soap opera dramas together with high powered women executives who use their twin siblings as business tools of the trade, mixed in with song and dance numbers about a flamer out of the Castro who's somehow fallen into this Gay God role due to his sister's lining him up a job as an underwear model for a shady Asian businessman whose Yakuza ties had reached out to the Mafia to get her name to head this other campaign, but first he wants to see how she does handling this small account for his sex toy and betting empire. Terri Steele's relaxing with a phone call to her gal pal Mickey is a 'shot every week' series that sometimes talks about bits on the show that haven't been seen yet. They dish about cute hunky guys they saw during the week and tease each other and egg each other on to do stuff to see 'if he really believes it's you or not' and this one sided dialogue where the actress playing Terry is going about her 'taking care of my real life' stuff around her house or apartment, watering plants or folding laundry or whatever the thing is she's picking up or dealing with, like junk on the dining room table. This is the 'Barry and Mickey' part of the hour and to the television audience it's just this actress on the phone with an old 'known each other forever' girlfriend from college or high school. This 'quiet weekly conversation' bit between Terri and Mickey is always the 'tag end' skit of the hour and sometimes political things are talked about in that bit that are current events. After the first few weeks, a small lower corner window tag is inserted 'Comm: WH/NSA intercept #1804/ date stamp.' A WTF? moment for the TV viewing audience and the website has (Classified: NOFORN) in place of what the viewers watching the weekly broadcast saw.

A television show in which an actress playing a high powered business woman in a highly competitive world uses her twin sister as a business tool to get whatever she wants. As unscrupulous as person as you can find, who takes on unsavory and shady clients with serious ties to organized crime, but whose real identity is Secret Agent Unit X-3 of the Time Patrol. So she's in two totally different series, with totally different looks. Her roles in Terry and The Cross Time Pirates! as well as Terri Steele, star of Balls of Steele, the ultra high powered woman running a PR firm that can 'spin' anything. If she's feeling good, it's because she has her non identical twin the slut keeping her libido in check. Because of marooned time travelers stuck here in 2014, her goal is to rescue her boss, 'Little Timmy', who seems to be up to it's power cord in time crime, steal the cargo out of a star ship's hold, and oh yeah, figure out how to impress this shady character 'Mr Ten' who has all these supposed ties to the underworld of Asia. This 'cliff hanger' ending every week is right out of Rocky and Bullwinkle, and having one of the actresses doing the show every week getting out of her costume and kicking back at home and shooting the shit with her girl pal kind of twists reality around a bit more.

Michelle Obama is a very sharp woman, whom I suspect has a very sharp sense of humor that she doesn't dare let out. If I let my imagination wander off the deep end here, I'd like to present a fact of life concerning 'free speech' and characters who portrait various presidents on Saturday Night Live. The idea of the First Lady of the United States of America hauling out dirty jokes to tell her friends kind of boggles the mind, but as we only show the actress' reaction, the joke is implied and not actually being told. Is that the real First Lady of the United States of America on the phone? Ever? Never? Can't decide. Six two and even, and yes, this isn't 'real reality' we are playing with here now, is it? It's a synthetic mixture of off the wall humor that pokes fun at every single thing it can see out there and the idea of pranking the American public with fake telephone calls from the First Lady, I mean, come on! What are the odds?

Okayy ... let me digress here for a second and describe a short clip inserted into the opening of the Qubit Quantum Hour of Comedy and there is the President of the United States of America standing at the podium in the White House press room saying 'Time travel is impossible' and there are two ways of doing that, the first being hire a look alike and voice capture the real president saying those words and do some cut and spice and there is the real president of the United States of America reciting the tag to 'Because everyone knows 'Time Travel is Impossible!'' and there is Mr President Obama being spoofed on national TV. Second scenario is to send this to the White House press secretary and during a sound check have him read it off the teleprompter and stash the tape. If this flies, does it matter which tape is used in the broadcast? Nobody is going to ever believe for one second that the President of the United States ever plugged a TV show, and since this is a comedy hour, well? How much of a public figure do you have to be before you give up your right to sue a television network for setting up the viewing audience into believing it's your wife pranking people with phone calls she's been put up to by her friend the actress playing the role of this Candid Camera high powered concert promoter? When she excuses herself to her guest victim of that week's prank to use the loo, the cell phone on her desk rings and she asks the person to answer it, and warns about the Michelle Obama voice double pulling a prank, as she's been known to do with unsuspecting victims. It's only when she comes out of the bathroom and suddenly something her guest says makes her grab the phone out of their hand and then swing their office chair around. This 'medium CU' shot can be inserted later on with minimal editing to keep the dialogue current with contemporary events. Then it resumes as if it was a part of the prank in progress, when she swings her executive chair around and suddenly remembers she has someone else in her office with her.

This small 'insertion of current events' gives the viewing audience the idea that what they are watching is actually completely being filmed in real time. A big screen monitor behind the actress can be blue screened and show real world news she can look at and synch up channels on and view in real time.

When she swivels back, she inquires if her guest had ever seen Men in Black? and takes their picture. 'Now, that hasn't happened yet, so just forget you ever heard it, okay?' And she takes his or her picture again. Then the cell phone announces it doesn't have enough charge in its battery for the memory erase application and she throws it against the wall. There is a pillow trap set up so the cell phone doesn't make an noise and she apologizes for the way the day seems to be going and gets up and pulls the cell phone off the wall where it's been sticking. This entire sequence of events is being filmed from hidden cameras and there are a variety of angles all covered inside the office.

This is an idea being presented here. We have the most media aware audience in history and if we are to prank them all, then we must have our ducks lined up in a row. It is doubtful that either political party would support this, simply because there isn't any direct way to control it. This is a private individual doing business as a production company pitching an idea to a bunch of busy executives for a combination of small productions being funded and put together into a twenty six week experiment in which our real reality is examined. What our moral values are, what our goals are, who we are as human beings and what is the very future of our planet are things that we have to come to grips with today if we are to have any future at all.

Looking at this as a 'this is impossible!' project is the only realistic way to view it. We are not selling reality here, we are making fun of all of it. Television is a fantasy land, and how we view ourselves as citizens of his country and how we view our own country and it's basic values has a lot to do with what I want to do with this show. Using comedy and drama and slapstick comedy and dick jokes and asking rude questions and setting that skit up to emphasis the importance of Capitalization of Proper Names and having everyone who appears in a prank haul out a picture of their friend Dick, and Keith Richards gets a free pass because he last name is plural for a group of Richards, aka, 'dicks' and so ... yes ... dreadful, wasn't it? Now you know how we're going to get away with having Terri's pal trash talking about him having his picture taken by Unit X 3, or 'XXX' as she's popularly known as, the one that is taking care of the sex toy unit's need for orgasms.

Ever think of what the sexual needs are of a sex toy from the XXVI century are? Terri is this ball breaking dom, her brother is a dim bulb gay beefcake and her sister is this oversexed little slut that acts out sex fantasies so outrageous that only the fact that all the naughty bits are covered by 'Approved by the Morality Police' bumper stickers allows the show to air at all.

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