Chapter 18

[Arnold's manuscript]

We sat on the bed with a bottle of water each and a packet of crackers to share. Maria said, "Arnoldo, it's been since the Day that I wore a skirt or dress. It's all been slacks, jeans, or shorts. I cannot remember a time before the Day when eating while wearing anything other than a dress or a skirt and blouse could have happened even when I was in college in America. My life was circumscribed by my class. I attended college in America for two years before returning to finish at home. The social scenes were very different."

I said, "That was a lesson that I had to learn quickly. It was made clear to me that the rich girls like you were simply off limits though it was unlikely I would ever meet one. On the other hand, the poorer girls were also off limits because I was, by definition, better than they. The moderately rich families and the daughters, whether they worked or not, did welcome me.

"If I had dated a female from the wrong class, my mission in El Salvador would have become impossible. I found it offensive in some ways but, as a practical matter, I had to live with the situation." [Ed. Note. I have no idea about the truth. It's just a story!]

"Our ways could be difficult even for those of us brought up into them. Arnoldo, I am sorry for all the death and destruction but I am glad to have you as a part of my life. Do not part from me again."

"Maria, I promised to always talk. I will try not to make assumptions about your feelings or your will again. I will always wonder if I had listened and allowed you to accompany me if Tomas and Dulce might be alive."

"Arnoldo, Dulce would have followed Tomas regardless of what her mind might have told her. Tomas would not have joined us knowing that would be an admission he might be wrong. I angered him greatly when I came back in crying and told him that you found us beneath you." I started. "I know that wasn't true but Tomas would have been insufferable otherwise. In a way, that statement was true. We had acted in a way that would not lead to survival and that did put you above us."

At that moment, more gunfire broke out and it sounded closer to us. I had decided, reluctantly, that Graciana was not a spy for these bad guys though her story still didn't quite ring true to me. Besides, she seemed to know too much about sneaking and fighting. Finally, someone was shooting up the bad guys and I felt there was more than one. We didn't want to jump willingly from the frying pan into the fire! We stayed in the bedroom.

In the little house, I opened some doors and closed others. I made us a pallet just out of sight of the door on the far side of the bed. I pulled the mattress a little bit sideways and spread clothes on the floor. I wanted it to look junked up like someone had gone through the house or some of it. I did every room in the house that way. I didn't have to do anything to the living room or kitchen because they were already that way. When we finished, the place looked a deserted mess that had long since been raided and abandoned. The door to our room was one of those left open.

Maria looked around and grinned. She whispered, "My kind of housekeeping!"

I said, "We won't 'keep' this house." She grinned at me nodding.

We spent the day being quiet and unseen. We watched and napped and snacked. Well after full dark, the outside noises had truly quieted down. We took each other's hand and went to our pallet and lay down still clothed.

Maria looked at me in the slight light coming in the window. She whispered, "Kiss me good night, Arnoldo." I put my arms around her and pulled her close. I kissed her and took my time about it. She kissed me back and had her arms around me pulling me even closer to her until our bodies were straining against each other.

We slept entwined though clothed. I woke first realizing we were spooned together with my erection pressing against her backside and my hand cupping a breast. I very slowly backed off and removed my hand without disturbing her slumber. I had to admit to myself that I had another good night's sleep. This could become a habit.

It was quiet when I woke. When I started to slip out, Maria woke so we went together. We made our way to the living room to look out the window while we listened for any noises. It was very quiet. Much later, Maria's hand tightened on mine. I heard it, too. Someone was walking close by on the street. We waited trying to even quietly breathe. We stared out the window waiting not daring to move lest we alert the person passing by that we were hiding in this house. We were down in the shadows wearing dark clothing. I saw a body poke in through the broken door that we had left ajar. We had been careful not to leave tracks or any other trace of our presence. The head pulled back out and the person continued on with only a cursory glance in the window. I heard a man say, "I think they have left the area. The black shirts scared them badly and then you left them. The black shirts blew up their little house. We found no bodies so they had left it in time."

"You may be right, Esteban. Neither of them were fighters. They had guts but knew their limits and how lucky they were to get away from the black shirts.

"Let's join the others and finish this odious little crew."

We heard them walk away. I whispered, "Let's go back to our room. It's safer and we can whisper to each other."

Maria said, "I am hungry, Arnoldo." I nodded. We went into the kitchen area first to raid what we could. There was little left. We filled our water bottles and went back to the bedroom and lay down facing each other on the pallet.

I said, "I think we need to stay hidden for all of today and tomorrow. We can search through the backyards in other houses for more food. I'm worried. We know there are two groups. The black shirts are definite bad guys. I'm not sure about Graciana's group. They seem just as prone to violence from what we have seen. I don't want to get us caught in a crossfire. One thing Graciana said is correct. We are not fighters.

"When I returned to the hotel, I had little idea what I would or even could do. I wanted to try to help. I saw Dulce and Tomas outside with four. They were making her strip to save Tomas when I left to look inside for you. Maria, I'm not sure I would have tried to help them if you hadn't been with me. I was still laboring under the idea that you would stay with your brother until we found him dead."

She smiled. "Arnoldo, why did you remove your hand and pull back from my bottom this morning?"

I blushed. "I thought you were still asleep when I did that."

"I wasn't. I had nestled close to you and put your hand on my breast while you slept. Did you not like the feel of my body?"

"Maria, I liked it very much but didn't want to make any unwanted advances upon you even while I was asleep and particularly when you were."

"How do you feel about your hand and my rear now that you know the placement wasn't you or accidental but me and I did it consciously?"

"It makes me feel hot. You are lovely. I have thought that for a long while. I do not want to make an advance that you would not like. This world is a lonely place. I realized that night that I left that I truly missed your presence. I knew that I had been having romantic thoughts about you and we had kissed. I didn't know how far you would want that to go. I'm not really sure myself. I told you my background. We both need to be actively willing. I don't want passive acceptance."

"Arnoldo, I do not have in mind to passively accept you. I enjoy your presence and am willing to pursue much more with you. I have decided that you will not make any first moves. I never have made the first move with a man but I want more of you. I don't want you to doubt. I will actively accept your advances anytime you make them. I will make some of my own."

I grinned though did not make a move. I changed the subject. "I've been thinking about vehicles. All motorized ones are noisy. Have you ridden a bicycle?"