Chapter 5

As we got further into May, I could see that Cassie was startin' to look real tired half way through the day. We stopped havin' sex altogether 'cause she was gettin' so close. She'd taken to packin' cloth pads 'tween her legs when we went to bed 'cause she said sometimes she had some bleedin' durin' the night. Some days she couldn't hardly get meals cooked fer us, she was feelin' so weak. That's when I started helpin' her out in the kitchen and the fact that she let me said a lot. She'd usually just run me out if I was gettin' under foot. Sue Ellen helped too 'cause she was already a better cook than I was.

By the end of the month, Cassie was gettin' real big and we knew she was gettin' close to her time. She didn't look at all healthy. Her face was pale and sometimes she'd get all wobbly just walkin' across the floor. I kept on naggin' at her to let me n' the kids do her work but she wouldn't have it. Finally, I begged, "Cassie, honey, you ain't lookin' at all like your old self. Don't you think we should get you into town to see the doctor?"

She gave me a weak smile and waved it off. "I'll be OK, Willem. Can't be more'n a few more days 'til the baby comes n' then I'll be back to my old self again. Don't you be frettin' 'bout it now."

"Are you sure, 'cause I'm gettin' real worried about ya? You just don't look good, Cassie!"

That night as we sipped on our coffee, she tole me where the cash box was hidden. I knew then that she was as scared as I was. She didn't have no reason to tell me unless she was afraid somethin' was gonna happen to her.

It was the next mornin' when the whole world crashed down on us. It was barely light outside when I woke up thinkin' either Cassie or me had peed the bed 'cause my legs were wet. When I sat up and threw back the covers, there was blood everywhere.

"Oh, shit! Cassie, wake up!" I shook her shoulder and she rolled over and looked at me with eyes that didn't seem to have no life in 'em at all. Her face was white as a sheet.

"Oh my god!" I jumped out of bed and opened the door and hollered, "Kids, wake up and get dressed! We gotta get your mama to the doctor!"

Sue Ellen jumped out of her bed and come runnin' into the bedroom. "What's wrong, Willem? Is Mama sick?"

"She's bleedin', honey. You get some towels to pack 'tween her legs while I bring the truck up to the porch." I pulled on my britches and ran fer the front door hollerin', "Charlie, get dressed!"

Well, I was so proud of Sue Ellen. She didn't go all squirrely on me or nothin'. She just did what she was told. I could see Charlie was scared, but he didn't have any idea what was goin' on except there was somethin' bad wrong with his mama and I didn't have time to give him a long explanation.

I hadda carry Cassie out to the truck 'cause she was too weak t' even stand up. I drove that old truck as fast as she could go, and it couldn't have been more'n twenty minutes later when we pulled up in front of the doctor's house and I was bangin' on his door.

He took one look at Cassie and tole me t' drive around to the back door 'cause that's where his office was. I carried her into a room with a bed and laid her down. The doctor started to shoo me out but Cassie grabbed my arm and pulled me down to say somethin' in my ear. She was so weak she couldn't hardly get it out. What she said just broke my heart. "Willem, I feel like I'm gonna die. If I do, you'll take good care of Sue Ellen n' Charlie fer me, won't ya? I love you so much."

As the doctor pushed me out the door, he hollered upstairs to his wife. "Miriam, get up and come down here to the office! I need your help! Now!"

The kids was standin' there lookin' scared and I was just a' scared. The doctor glanced at 'em and said, "Take them two into the kitchen and make 'em some breakfast. There's stuff in the icebox." Then he shut the door.

I found some cornflakes in the cupboard and some milk in the icebox, and asked Sue Ellen to get herself and her brother fed. I couldn't eat a bite, so I just paced back and forth in the hallway hopin' that Cassie was gonna be OK and knowin' she wasn't. Lordy, I ain't never been so scared!

It was maybe a half hour later when Dr. Branch come out of his office and led me down the hall to the parlor to give me the news. "Willem, I'm sorry I have to tell you your wife died. She just lost too much blood."

I guess I expected it all along 'cause there was so much blood in the bed and Cassie looked so bad. I felt the tears start to run down my face and nodded that I understood. "And the baby?"

He shook his head. "I tried to save him but when the mama starts to lose blood like that, her body shuts the baby off. He died before she did."

I stood up and said, "I reckon I better tell the kids. I thank you fer tryin', Doctor."

"I sure do wish she'd come in sooner. I might have been able to save her."

"Yeah, me too." I started toward the kitchen to talk to the kids but stopped to ask, "Can we take her n' the baby back to the farm to bury 'em?"

"Of course. If you give me a few minutes, the wife and I will get her cleaned up and I'll make out the death certificates for her and the baby. If you want, I can call over to the undertaker and have him bring over a pine coffin. If you don't have any money with you, I'll cover the cost 'till you can pay me back."

"That's awful nice of you, Doctor. I'd appreciate that."

I found the kids outside sittin' on the runnin' board of the truck. Sue Ellen had her arms around Charlie and was rockin' him back and forth. When I squatted down in front of 'em, she just said, "I know Mama's gone. Is the baby gone too?"

I nodded.

I don't think Charlie really understood about death but Sue Ellen did. She knew it was permanent and that life fer her and her brother had started down a new road. I gathered 'em into my arms and we cried together as a family.

Deputy James came over with the undertaker. He helped me get the coffin tied down in the pickup bed and followed us out to the farm to help me dig the grave. He stopped on the way and asked the Baptist preacher to come out and say some words over Cassie n' the baby. We buried 'em together with the baby layin' on her breast. Later in the afternoon, his wife and the preacher's wife brought out enough food to keep us fed fer three days. I hadn't met either one of 'em before.