Artemis Lunar Base
August 7, Year 3

Blake

"So, rookie, you ready to lose your cherry?" Sergeant Hulegu asked, as they took their seats in the briefing room with the rest of the squad.

Private Ed Blake, newly minted Confederacy Marine, struggled not to roll his eyes. "I spent my whole adult life in the U.S. Army, most of it as an NCO, with three combat tours. No disrespect, Sarge, but you don't need to treat me like some dumb kid. It's just scooping up some civilians, how hard can it be?"

Hulegu just scowled at him. She scowled often, and well, her glare as dark as her features. She said nothing.

"Quiet, everyone, let's get to work." Lieutenant Amiens strode into the briefing room. "Hulegu, you drew this one up, I'll let you do the honors."

"Thank you. AI, display the target site, please." The Marine sergeant walked calmly up to the podium, and the viewscreen lit up with a map of the extraction site.

Private Spunkmeyer peered at the screen. "That's a screwy lookin' restaurant."

Corporal Dent snorted. "It's not a restaurant, you idiot," she chided him.

Spunkmeyer peered closer. "Well then, it's a screwy lookin' diner."

"It's not a diner," Amiens sighed, his hand covering his eyes in disgust, "and it's not a bar, either. We have enough waitresses. And before you open your mouth, Spunkmeyer," he growled, "it's not a mall. Hulegu, please continue."

"It's a small amusement park," Hulegu explained, "located a couple miles outside a tiny town named Grummond, Kentucky. It's a fourth-rate attraction, by American standards, but typically has a near optimal mix of sponsor level visitors and fertile females. Furthermore, there's a large number of ex-military in the area, who frequently attend with their families. We should get some good skill sets out of this grab."

Blake eyed the layout. "I don't like it. Maybe we should stick to diners."

"Aw, hell," Private Fregosi whined, "looks like the rookie is that guy."

"The name's Ed, kid," Blake snapped, "and what's that supposed to mean?"

Private Chavez snickered. "That guy. The guy who always 'has a bad feeling about this', every fucking mission."

"Like hell," Ed growled. "No way I'm that guy. I've been laughing at that guy since before you kids were born." He pointed at the layout. "70,000 square meters, lots of potential hiding places, with attractions and crap blocking all the sight lines. Am I the only one who sees a potential problem here? We'll have our hands full just keeping everyone where we can see them."

"That's enough, Private," Lieutenant Amiens snapped. "Before you go second guessing your superiors, I think you should wait until you've extracted at least one volunteer. Continue, Sergeant."

Hulegu nodded. "The park is surrounded by a high fence, except for one entrance, so containment is no issue. It's a half mile off the main road, with only one access road, so there's no drive-by traffic -- we'll have plenty of privacy. The AI's have tapped into the park's closed-circuit security system. Between that and the drones, we'll have visual coverage of the entire area. And there's no record of violent incidents in the park's security log, going back several years -- for some reason, this place gets the quiet types."

Sergeant Hulegu began pointing around the diagram as she gave out individual assignments. "Dent, you'll be posted on top of this structure as a spotter, just in case the cameras miss something. Spunkmeyer, you'll stay near her; set up the field terminus here, but be ready to back up Dent at any sign of trouble. Fregosi, Chavez, you clear out these two rides, gather everyone in this area, and oversee the conk selection. Crebbs, Wendt, same drill with these other two attractions -- you can set up in this dining area here."

"What about me, ma'am?" Blake asked.

"You'll be with me, rook," Hulegu said. "We'll start out on the access road, setting up a road block and construction signs to keep gawkers from wandering by. Then we'll teleport inside the park and deal with any strays or problem areas."

'Christ, ' Blake thought, 'this Mongolian lady is actually gonna chaperone me?' He nodded. "Yes, ma'am. When do we leave?"

The AI spoke from the ceiling. <<It is estimated that volunteer numbers will peak in three to five hours.>>

"Muster in the transporter hub in two and a half hours," Hulegu instructed. "In the mean time, go home, eat some lunch, and fuck your conks."

Crebbs chuckled. "Good thing you spelled it out. Spunkmeyer might get confused, eat his conks and fuck his lunch."

Spunkmeyer extended a middle finger. "Fuck you, Crebbs. I never eat my conks."

Outside Grummond, Kentucky

Sergeant Hulegu looked to the sky as she received an update from the AI. "Thirty-three?" she muttered. "That's enough. Move into position, we're closing the road now. Dent, watch the exit. If anyone starts to leave before we get there, put up the interdiction field and start the extraction."

Blake began to drag the construction sign out onto the road as Hulegu closed the gate. 'We should have some of those orange construction barrel barrier things, ' he thought. 'What are those barrels called, anyway?' He didn't second guess the sergeant out loud this time. It was moot, anyway. Whatever they were called, the replicators didn't have patterns for them.

"Get the billboard," the sergeant called out. She was spraying some nanites on the lock to the gate.

"Yes, ma'am," he called out. Just next to the road, a small billboard read: 'Joy Kingdom! Wholesome family fun is just a half-mile ahead!'.

He plastered a new paper strip over the sign, covering the lower half. It now read: 'Wholesome family fun is CLOSED FOR REMODELING.'

"You done yet?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Blake replied, pressing the paper smooth. "Ready to kick ass and take names!" He turned just in time to be shoved back against the billboard by Hulegu, who grabbed him by the throat.

"Get something straight, Private." Hulegu's dark eyes were boring into him. "You are not a warrior. You're a herdsman. You won't be kicking anything. We're here to gather and protect. There are no enemies in that park, only sheep and goats. Our job is to get them safely away -- the wolves are coming."

'She really is a nut job.' Ed nodded agreement. "Yeah, yeah, I've got it. You wanna let go of my neck now, ma'am?"

She released him, walking calmly toward the transporter pad. "Keep up, rook."

He followed, steaming. "Enough of the rookie shit, when are you going to start using my name?" He checked himself, grumbling out a "ma'am?"

The sergeant never looked back. "When you bring out a sheep." She stepped on the pad and blinked away.

'This is what happens when you try to build an army out of random global civilians, ' he thought, 'bullshit koans about farm animals.' He stepped onto the transporter pad, wondering where he was going to find a sheep.

Blake stepped off of the transporter pad, and found himself surrounded by plastic sheep.

"Well, that solves that problem," Ed shrugged to himself.

"Baaa," the tinny speaker inside the sheep greeted him.

Blake quickly scanned the area. Just ahead, a carousel spun -- with plastic sheep instead of plastic horses. A little past the carousel, some teenage boys and girls were dancing in a circle near some fruit trees. To the left, Crebbs and Wendt lounged by a giant boat. To the right, Fregosi and Chavez were stationed at the base of a water slide, under a sign that read 'Tower of Bubble'. Closer by, Sergeant Hulegu was scanning the area herself, while Spunkmeyer was petting one of the plastic sheep.

"They're not real, Spunkmeyer," a voice called out from above. Blake looked up, and saw Dent sitting on top of a 20 foot cross.

Hulegu walked up to him. "Something wrong, rook?"

"It's creeping me out, Sarge," Blake confessed. "A Christian amusement park?"

"So?" she shrugged. "I thought you were Christian."

"Technically, yeah. I'm a Unitarian," he explained. 'A lax Unitarian, to boot.'

Hulegu wasn't especially interested. "Whatever. We're starting now. You deal with those dancing teenagers over in the Garden of Eden Picnic Area -- they're all unarmed, don't see how you can screw that up." She looked up at the sky. "AI, start the announcement."

A recorded message began playing from every speaker in the park -- including the plastic sheep. <<Attention, please. This is a Confederacy extraction... >>

Blake jogged over toward the teens, who had stopped their circle dance. As he approached, he was able to make out their conversation.

"Do you think it's real, Thomas?" a chubby brunette girl was asking the boy next to her.

"Of course not, Mary," Thomas answered serenely. "Reverend Pribbles warned us about this. We're just being tested by God."

A small blonde girl looked around curiously. "Where is Father? He should be back with the ice cream by now."

Blake paused near one of the trees and cleared his throat. "Excuse me kids, but as you just heard, this is an extraction. I'm Private Ed Blake, with the Confederacy Marines."

Thomas shook his head. "No you're not."

"If you'll all just take..." Blake blinked. "What? Yes, I am."

Thomas shook his head again. "No you're not."

Ed decided to start over. "I'm Private Blake, of the Confederacy Marines..."

"Are not!"

"I am too!"

"Are not!"

"Look, I know my own name!" Blake snapped.

"Yes, Mister Blake," Mary said calmly. "I'm sure that's your name, but you're not really a Confederacy Marine. The Confederacy and Swarm don't exist. It's a lie told by the Devil to lead us into temptation."

He stared at the six placid teens in disbelief. "What asshole told you that?"

The teens gasped, and two of them actually covered their ears. The little blonde spoke up. "My father, Reverend Harlan Pribbles, taught us that. And you shouldn't talk like that. 'Thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain.'"

"I didn't!" Blake protested.

"You said the A-word," one of the unnamed boys chided him.

Blake rolled his eyes. "What, 'asshole'? We all have one! And that's not taking God's name in vain, 'cause God isn't named Asshole. What is wrong with you kids?"

"We've accepted God's love," the blonde said firmly, "and if you can't do the same, I think you should go."

The Marine shook his head. 'Their loss.' He sub-vocalized through his comm chip. 'AI, have any of these kids volunteered?'

The AI replied privately, directly into his inner ear. <<'No.'>>

Blake turned to leave. "Have it your way kids. You want to be holy-roller Swarm Snacks, be my guest."

<<'There is one teenager present who has a sufficient CAP score to volunteer.'>>

Ed froze, closing his eyes tight in frustration. 'Not my problem, ' he told himself, 'they didn't volunteer.' He took another step away, then froze again, remembering Sergeant Hulegu's words. 'The wolves are coming.'

With a sigh, the Marine turned back to the six teenagers. "All right, you know who I am, whether you believe me or not -- it's time to find out who you are. Hand me your CAP cards. Everyone has one, right?"

"Not much choice," one of the boys grumbled. "Dumb state law." He handed Blake his card, which identified him as Luke Dunbar, 5.1.

Another boy handed over his card shyly. "Ignore the name on the card," he mumbled. "Just call me Zeke."

Blake goggled at the name. "Wahezekiah FitzGregorson? Is that biblical?"

Mary laughed, handing Blake her own card. "Nope, but daddy thought it was." She was a FitzGregorson, too. Both she and Zeke had scores in the fours.

Thomas was eying Blake warily. "Why should I show you my card? This might be some kind of trick."

"Are you over 6.5?" Blake asked. "If not, you can keep your damn card."

Thomas sulked quietly, as Irene Ainsworth, a tall pimply red-head, handed over her card. Blake was about to hand back the 5.3 card, when he did a double take at her sexual sub-scores. 'Kid's gonna be a wildcat in the sack, once she loosens up a little.'

Thomas decided to hand over his card, as well. "This doesn't mean that I believe in any of this," he insisted.

"Uh huh." Ed tried not to laugh out loud when he scanned the card of Thomas Wellington, 3.2. 'Kid's lucky he's good looking, ' he thought, 'he's gonna need all the help he can get.'

Blake handed back the card, then turned to the short little blonde, who was glaring at him. "You're the minister's daughter, huh?"

"Chastity Pribbles," she confirmed proudly. She handed over her card, which showed a score of exactly 6.5. "You won't tempt me," she insisted. "I won't give in to your sinful ways!"

'This may take a while.' The Marine leaned against an apple tree, settling in for the long haul. "Relax kid, I'm not trying to tempt you. I don't know what you've been told, but we're the good guys." He looked around. "Where's your dad? Maybe we can talk this through together."

"I'll find him," Mary volunteered, running off.

"He's getting snacks in the food court," Chastity huffed, "but he'd never approve of this."

<<'He's getting sodomized by a sponsor in the food court. He appears enthusiastic about the coupling.'>>

Blake tried to keep his grin away from shit-eating mode. "You might be surprised."

Mary scrambled back into the garden, her face pale. "Did I turn to salt?"

'Salt?' "You're fine, kid," Blake assured her. "We need to speed things along here, Mary. Could you confirm for little Miss Pribbs that the good Reverend has changed his mind about some things?"

"Pribbles," the blonde corrected, "my name is Chastity Pribbles." She turned expectantly toward Mary. "Where's Father? He'll put a stop to this."

"He, um," Mary stammered, "he was a little too busy to talk to me. He seems to think it's real, though."

Thomas looked disturbed. "He always said the Confederacy wasn't real."

"Don't be too hard on him, kid," Blake said. "Everyone makes mistakes. Seeing real Marines, up close, has a way of changing a man's mind."

Chastity shook her head. "No, I don't buy it. You guys might be real, but that doesn't mean what you're doing is right. I'm gonna stay pure, as God intended."

Blake groaned. "Haven't you seen what's coming? The Swarm are all over the news. God didn't intend for a plague of demonic lizard-bugs to wipe out human life."

The kids perked up at that. "Plague?" Chastity asked. "Like locusts?"

"Well, not exactly..." Blake paused. 'Not too far off. Might be worth a shot.' "Sure, let's go with that. They're like locusts, but they were sent by the Devil, not God."

"You ever seen these Swarm, in person?" Luke asked.

"Not in person," Blake said defensively, "but I'm new, I haven't been to the front lines yet. I've seen the videos, though."

Thomas scoffed. "And who gave you these videos?"

"I guess the first vids must have come from the birds. The Darjee," Blake explained. "They're the aliens that told us about the Swarm. They're not actually birds, but we call 'em that because they've got these feathered wings. They have separate arms, too."

The kids all exchanged looks. "Angels!" Mary gasped.

"Uh, sure," Blake shrugged. "Let's go with that."

Hulegu strode up. "What's taking so long, rook? Aren't you done with these kids yet?"

Blake put his hands up defensively. "I got it, Sarge, it's just going a little slow. I've got a sheep that needs the remedial course." He pointed at Chastity.

"Lamb," Chastity corrected.

Hulegu eyed the girl. "Goat," she said simply, shaking her head. "Hurry it up, Private. I don't want to be here all day." She walked away, yammering at Chavez through her comm-link in rapid Spanish.

"Don't worry, I'm all over it," Blake called after her. "No problemo!"

Zeke's eyes were wide. "She was speakin' in tongues! I think this is the real deal!"

"That was Spanish, Zeke," Chastity muttered with a roll of her eyes. "I don't know about this. It doesn't feel very ... godly. I mean, some if it is like the Bible, but it's a little... off."

"Well, yeah," Blake admitted, "but the Crusades weren't in the Bible, either, and they were godly ... kind of." He winced at himself.

<<'I'm not entirely comfortable with where this is going.'>>

Blake ignored the AI and plowed ahead. "Look, Chastity, here's the bottom line. We're having a Crusade against the Swarm, and that 6.5 on your CAP card -- that's God saying he wants you to be a part of it."

"God has nothing to do with CAP scores," Thomas argued hotly. "They came from a sinful reality show!"

"Well, he's not involved directly," the Marine admitted, "but the idea is, he only wants the right kind of people to join us in this war -- good people. The cards tell us who's, well ... worthy, I guess. Worthy to join the Crusade."

"But, why would He use a reality show," Irene asked, blushing, "full of fornication?"

Blake punted. "He works in mysterious ways."

"So, these CAP cards, they're like ... Judgment? From on high?" Chastity bit her lip, her eyes sparkling.

'Got her.' Blake pointed at the girl. "That's it exactly, Pribbs..."

"Pribbles," she corrected.

" ... you've been judged, and found worthy." Blake leaned in close. "You don't really think God's plan is for you to spend your life in Grummond, Kentucky, do you? You've always known you were special. He has big plans for you -- he chose you."

Chastity's face lit up. "He Chose me." She suddenly shook her head and stepped back, pointing an accusing finger at Blake. "This is a trick, you're tempting me!"

Blake spread his hands. "That's not temptation, kid. That's God, calling to you."

<<'Have I mentioned I'm not comfortable with this?'>>

Ed ignored the AI again, focusing on the girl. "What do I have to do to convince you I'm on Team God? God needs you in this fight. The Marines need you in this fight."

Chastity hesitated, looking in Blake's eyes. Her lips parted, on the verge of a yes.

"Smite something," Thomas said suddenly.

Blake swallowed. "What?"

"Smite something," Thomas repeated. "If you work for God, He should give you the power to smite things, to show His power."

Mary nodded. "He's right. God does lots of smiting."

"His agents on Earth, too," Luke confirmed, "they smote lots of folks."

"What's the matter," Thomas taunted, "don't you know how to smite?"

"I'm a Marine! Of course I know how to smite! And right now, it's pretty tempting," Blake said, glaring at Thomas. "It's just, that lady who came by earlier, she's my boss, and she, um, told me not to smite anyone today," he finished lamely.

Chastity snorted. "God lets you smite, but your boss said no?"

"Well, yeah," Blake said, "she said something about sheep, and I'm a herdsman ... I mean shepherd! Yeah, that's it, I'm a shepherd! Shepherds don't smite!"

Chastity stared at him expectantly, her arms crossed over her chest and her eyebrow arched. "Smite, mister."

Blake sighed and took out his repulsor field generator. "Fine, you win. I guess I can smite something small." He pointed at one of the fruit trees scattered around the picnic area. "Watch that apple on the very end of the branch." He thumbed the generator on. The entire tree creaked and leaned away, dozens of apples raining down. 'Oops, too broad a beam.'

The children gasped. "I'm in!" Thomas said quickly.

Chastity was staring breathlessly at the repulsor in Ed's hand. "I want to smite! What is that? Can I have one of those?"

"It's called a repulsor field generator -- but you can only have one if you join the Marines," Blake grinned slyly. "C'mon, Pribbs. It's your destiny. Don't fight it."

"My destiny." Chastity nodded slowly. "I'll do it."

'Praise the Lord!' Blake thought.

"As long as there's no fornicating," the girl added.

'Oh, bite me!' Blake thought. He cleared his throat nervously. "Um, yeah, about that -- fornicating is kinda mandatory."

Chastity shook her head. "Well then, this can't be God's plan! If He wanted us to sin like that, He wouldn't have spent the whole Bible preaching against it."

"Not the whole Bible," Blake countered. "Some of those Old Testament guys slept around, didn't they?"

"Like who?" Mary asked.

'Uh oh, ' Blake thought. "There was, you know, the guy who slept with his wife's handmaiden, so he could have more kids."

Chastity's eyes narrowed. "Name him."

'AI, help me out here, ' Blake sub-vocalized.

<<'You're the one that got into this mess. I told you it was a bad idea.'>>

'Aw shit.' Blake wracked his brain for Old Testament stories. 'Which was which? Moses was the tablets, Joseph had the dreamcoat, Abraham ... he did something important. Who was the handmaid guy?' "Um, it was ... Jacob?"

Irene nodded. "He's right, Jacob had two wives, and he begat more children by two of his servants."

Chastity bit her lip, considering. "Abraham slept with his wife's handmaiden, too. And there was Lamech, he had two wives."

Blake pointed. "Exactly, just like Abraham and ... that other guy you just said. You're like them. God wants you to be with lots of partners, so you can live long and prosper."

<<'That's Spock.'>>

"I mean, be fruitful and multiply," Blake corrected.

"Guess it makes sense," Irene nodded. "I mean, if Abraham did it, it must be righteous, right?"

Chastity chewed her lip. "I still don't know..."

"Don't think of it as fornicating," Blake rationalized. "Think of all those guys who begat other guys. You're just begetting a lot more. It's all part of God's plan," he assured them.

A middle-aged woman chose that moment to wander through the garden. She was staring into space, laughing absently. Her shirt was missing, and her face was dripping cum. With a random cry of "On my face!" she wandered out of sight, never looking at Blake's small crowd. The kids watched her pass, then turned skeptically, staring at Blake.

"He works in mysterious ways?" Blake tried hopefully.

A naked septuagenarian man ran across the garden, chasing after the female while jacking himself madly. "Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!"

The kids turned back to Blake again.

"Did I mention I can smite?" Ed aimed the repulsor and knocked a whole limb off the apple tree.

The smiting did it. "Fine, fine, I'll beget," Chastity said quickly, "as long as I get to join the Crusade. I want to be a Marine. When can I start?"

"Now we're getting somewhere!" Blake cried. "Alright, now you just need to choose a pair of conks to take with you."

Zeke slowly raised his hand. "'Excuse me, Mister, but what's a conk?"

Blake whimpered.

"So, lemme see if I got this straight," Chastity said, munching on an apple. "The CAP scores show that I've been Chosen to join the Crusade against the Devil's Swarm, because I'm good and righteous. I can choose a couple more people to bring with me -- but they don't have righteous scores. So why would I want to bring them along if they're unworthy?"

Blake banged his head back against the tree. The other kids had grasped the concept of conks quickly enough, but Chastity was still struggling. He had pulled her aside to work with her one on one. She just couldn't understand why she should bring along anyone with a low score -- especially in this quasi-religious framework.

<<'I did warn you this was a bad idea.'>>

'Shut your byte-hole, ' Blake sub-vocalized back. "Pribbs, that's what makes you so special. As a volunteer, you can make them worthy by selecting them. They'll have to obey you. You'll be responsible for making sure they don't do anything bad."

"So ... they're worthy by the Grace of the Chosen!" Chastity beamed. "I think I understand now! But who should I choose?"

"Well," Blake said, "you could choose your dad..."

<<'Still being sodomized.'>>

" ... but he's busy, um, requesting the Grace of another of the Chosen." Blake gestured at the picnic blanket, where the other kids were sitting and waiting patiently, just out of earshot. "You could choose two of your friends, instead," he suggested.

Chastity nodded. "Father's sure to be picked," she said certainly, "anyone who speaks to him will see how worthy he is. I'll take my friends -- but which two should I take?"

Blake held up the portable card reader. "You can use this on their CAP cards to find out what kind of people they are. It'll show their sub-scores..."

"I already know what kind of people they are," she cut him off, "I've known them all my life."

"Fair enough," he nodded. "Then there's two things you want to consider. Which of them will obey you?"

Chastity waved her hand dismissively. "They'll all listen to me, I usually take charge of them."

"Well then," Blake said, "a lot of sponsors choose conks they'll enjoy fu-" he caught himself just in time, "begetting it on with." He looked at his watch. "We still have a little time, if you want to give them a trial run."

She looked shocked. "You mean ... fornicate? Right here?"

"Don't worry, God doesn't really mind," Blake shrugged. "He loosens the rules some, for people who are about to ascend."

Blake was momentarily distracted by comm chatter in his ear. 'Hey, rook, ' Wendt said, 'hurry up and finish, you're missing a hell of a show. We've got a double penetration going on over at Noah's Ark.'

'Not now, Wendt, ' Blake sub-vocalized back, 'I've seen a DP before.'

Chastity was looking at her companions uncertainly. "I don't know about this. It doesn't seem very wholesome."

'Yeah, but you've never seen a DP with a llama, ' Wendt told him. 'It'll blow your fucking mind!'

"Trust me, Pribbs," Blake said fervently, "a simple tryout is downright wholesome by some standards. You, um, do know about the facts of life, right? I mean, what's involved when you beget?"

She snorted, tossing the apple core over her shoulder. "Of course. We may be home schooled, but we're not ignorant. We've had sex ed." She scowled. "Dumb state law."

He sighed in relief as he stood. "Thank God."

Chastity rose as well, strolling over toward her companions. "Ok guys, here's what we're going to do. I need to decide which of you I'm going to take with me to the Promised Land. So we're going to practice fornication. Now, my father taught us about this, so we should all know what to do. Thomas," she blushed, "you can go first. Let's get started."

The boy nodded, and all six kids started to disrobe. Once they were naked, Chastity and Thomas lay down side by side on the picnic blanket, holding hands. They both smiled, looking up at the sky expectantly.

Blake watched them, waiting for them to start. They kept looking up at the sky. "Um, what are you two doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Thomas asked. "We're having sex."

"We're lying together as God made us," Chastity explained, as if she were speaking to a slow child. "Soon, He'll reach down from Heaven, and infuse us with His Love."

"And that's all you've learned about sex." Blake slapped his hand over his eyes, muttering to himself. "Abstinence based sex-ed, what can go wrong?"

Chastity glanced over at her partner. "I feel something," she said quietly, "I think it's happening!"

"All right, stop, just ... stop. Time out," Blake said. "Have any of you kids had any sexual experience before?"

Zeke raised his hand uncertainly. He opened his mouth, as if to explain something.

"Hold it right there, Zeke," Blake instructed. "Fair warning: if you're about to say anything involving a lamb, sheep, goat, or llama, I will smite you."

Zeke quickly lowered his hand.

"That's what I thought." The marine looked down at his charges, shaking his head sadly. "Your sexual education seems to have skipped a few steps. Pribbs, you see the thing sticking up between Tom's legs?"