Chapter 2

I sat and stared at our home computer. My husband had left earlier that afternoon to visit his client in Phoenix for a few days. He'd given me the password for the two encrypted files before he'd left. They contained the evidence of my affair.

It was only a laptop but it might as well have been a basket with a cobra inside. I couldn't make myself touch it. Finally, I clicked on the encrypted file named 'Alpha' and typed in the password. It took several minutes to restore but soon a single folder sat in the center of my screen. It was labeled 'Chicago.'

I tried the 'Omega' file as well but the password didn't work. Apparently, David didn't want me looking at that one yet. I didn't know what his game was but I felt I didn't have any choice but to see it through.

A double-click on 'Chicago' and I felt like Alice falling down the rabbit-hole as my worst fears were realized.

Rachel Hughes had been thorough and the overwhelming evidence of my affair was terrifying. There were detailed reports from private investigators. The reports showed Mark and I were being watched even before our affair had started. There were copies of emails, recorded phone conversations, receipts, and even two videos from that week in Chicago. And the pictures ... oh gawd ... the pictures. There were pictures of Mark and I having sex in Chicago and several other times at the office. Visual evidence I'd done things with Mark that I hadn't done with David until after the affair. My guilt threatened to overwhelm me as I fought to breathe.

I went through all the evidence like a coroner doing an autopsy. I needed to know exactly what my husband had seen. The more I saw, the less hope I had for my marriage. I was ashamed and horrified at the things I'd said and done. The videos and phone conversations were full of harsh comments and slights towards my marriage. I never said anything bad about David but I'd sung praise upon praise about Mark's prowess in bed.

I sat stunned for hours as I tried to comprehend how David could still be with me after seeing and hearing all of that. I broke down and called him even though I knew he wouldn't answer. I left messages ... yes messages ... several messages over the next 24 hours. In some I cried and pleaded for forgiveness, in others I stoically begged him not to leave me. Truth be told, I was an emotional basket case.

I called Mark and told him the extent of David's evidence and where it had come from. He was livid. I'd like to say I cared but by then I didn't. Knowing I wasn't the only one having a horrible weekend was actually a little comforting.

David called late Friday night.

"Hello, David?"

"Sarah," he replied in a calm dead voice.

"Honey, I ... I'm so sorry..." I whispered struggling to contain my emotions.

"I know. I believe you but it may not make a difference."

I felt my heart breaking.

"Please, David..." I begged.

"Sarah, you don't understand, there's more. For the file called 'Omega, ' the password is 'Phoenix.' Just like the password suggests, we'll see if we can rise from the ashes. You'll need to see what's in it before you make any promises. I won't be home till Sunday evening. Whether I stay or not will be up to you.

"We'll discuss everything on Monday when we meet with Mr. James. Sarah, please remember I love you, even with all this."

David disconnected and I went back over to our computer. I typed in the password and soon I was looking at a folder labeled 'Hedge Funds.'

It took me several minutes, but I worked up the nerve to click on the folder. Inside were three subfolders. Each named after a city; Atlanta, Dallas, and Phoenix.

ATLANTA

I began to realize the extent of David's revenge when I looked in this folder. The tears I'd shed earlier, out of shame, were quickly replaced with those of sorrow and frustration.

Her name was Victoria and she had to be in her mid-to-late forties. She was still beautiful and had obviously enhanced her trim figure with breast implants. I couldn't tell if she was a brunette or a redhead since she'd shaved. So how did I know that? There were pictures and videos. Lots of pictures and videos!

There in front of me was the graphic evidence of David's affair. So how did I handle the love of my life's infidelity? Simple, I threw-up. I didn't even make it to the bathroom.

After cleaning up my mess, I lay on our bed, screamed into my pillow, and let the emotional dam burst. I let all the guilt, shame, fear, despair, and anger pour out as I cried myself to sleep. I woke a few hours later still exhausted, took our laptop to a different room, and re-examined the evidence.

The emails told the real story. He had met her online over a year ago. Once they'd established an online relationship, he'd found a client in Atlanta. Now he was writing his trips off as business travel.

I was taken aback at how sexually aggressive she was. She gave new meaning to the word 'cougar.' She had no inhibitions when it came to sex and it was very obvious she was experienced ... very experienced. I wouldn't be surprised if the slut had a donkey tied up next to her bed at night.

From the emails it appeared David had ended the relationship a month ago. About the same time he'd received his proof from Rachel.

Numb and exhausted I went to the next folder.

DALLAS

My somber mood changed when I opened it. With a single click, my frustration turned to rage and I threw my coffee cup against the wall. Damn, another mess to clean up.

The woman's name was Leigh and she couldn't have been more than 22 years-old. She had two young children and was obviously using my husband as a 'sugar daddy.' Her baby-daddy was in jail for drugs and David had been paying her rent with some of the money he'd 'lost' in bad investments.

She was a tall, attractive, willowy girl with long blonde hair and sported a multitude of tattoos and piercings. Not the type of girl I would've thought David would go for since she looked like she might've eaten him alive. Unfortunately, the videos showed she'd done just that ... literally. I think she'd actually tried to kill him with sex!

The pictures were graphic and she was so young. I found it hard to breathe and realized I was shaking as I sat back. I didn't know how my marriage could survive this.

This affair had started right after David had found out about Mark and it had lasted over a year. They broke it off after she'd found someone she'd thought she might be in love with. It had ended a couple of months ago.

I called David, again he didn't answer. The message I left this time was very different from the earlier ones. While those had a sense of remorse and regret, this one didn't.

I believe I threatened to cut off his balls and shove them where that little slut would have a hard time finding them. I'm sure I also commented on his need to buy a whore that young. When I was through, my heart was pounding, my body was trembling, and I was probably frothing at the mouth like a rabid dog.

Did it make me feel better? Yeah, a little bit. Did it change anything? No, not a damn thing!

Exhausted, I opened the final folder.

PHOENIX

I wasn't sure what to expect but anything short of David having a male lover or marrying a farm animal wouldn't have surprised me. What was inside was worse.

Her name was Anna Marie and she was a beautiful, well-endowed, Hispanic woman in her early thirties. She was at least 30 pounds overweight, but her voluptuous curves hid most of it. Her most striking feature, beside her obvious 'endowments, ' was her beautiful face that was silhouetted with curly, long black hair. Her warm, brown eyes were set off by a genuinely contagious smile.

I instantly both liked and hated her.

David had met her online as well. She had three school-aged kids and her husband had abandoned them several years earlier. They'd had a rough time of it, but things were going much better now that David had become involved.

I looked for risqué pictures and videos but found very little. There were some pictures of her in a bathing suit and of her with her kids. There were a few sexy 'selfies' she'd taken in her bathroom mirror that were pretty unflattering since they made her butt look even bigger than it was. There was also a webcam video of her doing an extremely amateurish striptease. Maybe she should've taken lessons from that Victoria bitch.

I read through their emails and things took on a different light. Unlike Victoria, David hadn't found a client in Phoenix to visit. Anna Marie was his client. Actually, he had invested heavily in her floral boutique so it could expand and damned if her business wasn't doing great.

From her emails, it was easy to tell she was falling in love with my husband. I could tell he cared for her as well even though he was keeping her at an arm's distance. Then I realized he was probably with her even as I was reading those messages.

I took a picture off the bedroom wall and studied it. It was a picture of the four of us at the lake several years ago. The smiles on my children's faces warmed my heart and the looks that David and I were giving each other were full of passion and joy. They could only be described as ... love.

I knew I'd jeopardized my family for the thrill of an affair. I accepted my part in this mess. It was my weakness that put my marriage so close to the edge. David had pushed it to the brink and now it sat there teetering.

I curled up on our bed and hugged the picture as the tears began to fill my eyes again. I was amazed I had any more left but there they were. These weren't tears of anger or of sorrow ... these were tears of fear. Now I realized how close my marriage was to ending and I was terrified.

I wasn't sure how I'd greet him when he came home Sunday night. Would I throw my arms around him and hold him tightly, or throw myself at his feet and beg him to stay, or would I take a knife and cut the bastard's balls off? All three were definite possibilities.

The actual homecoming was anticlimactic. David came in, gave me a small hug and kissed me on the cheek. Then he asked the hard question.

"Am I staying here tonight?" he asked in a tired voice.

I silently nodded and he went upstairs to the guest bedroom. We hardly spoke that night or the next morning. We both chose to bury ourselves in our jobs before we met in counseling later that day.

We sat on Mr. James' couch and looked at each other. David briefly described the things he'd left for me to see. It'd taken him much longer to explain because I'd continually interrupted and sniped at him at every possible point. I admit it ... I was hurt and mad as hell! Finally, Raymond asked me to leave the room so David could finish. I wanted to stay so I found a way to bridle my anger.

There was a blanket of silence in the room after he finished. Mr. James couldn't hide his disappointment.

"Mr. Jennings, you realize you broke your wedding vows too?"

"Of course," David replied. "I haven't missed the hypocrisy of me having a revenge affair. As a matter of fact, I welcome it."

"You welcome it?" Raymond asked surprised.

He nodded.

"When I had my affairs, I became just as much of a cheater as my wife. However, I felt it was necessary."

"Did it make you feel better using these women for your revenge?"

David snorted and stared at him.

"Each of those women knew exactly what they were doing. I was completely honest with them before each affair began. Hopefully, each of them walked away from the affair better off than they entered it."

Raymond shook his head and sighed.

"Revenge rarely ever 'saves' a marriage. I'm sorry you chose that course of action. I understand why you felt justified in doing so but I'm extremely disappointed that you did. Revenge sex almost always destroys whatever little trust is still left in the marriage. By having those affairs, I'm afraid you've damaged your marriage even more."

"I disagree, Mr. James," David said flatly.

His response took both of us by surprise.

"What you and my wife seem to be missing is that I did this to save my marriage."

I was stunned. I sat there thinking that he couldn't have said what I'd thought he'd said!

"You had three affairs in an attempt to save your marriage?" Raymond asked in disbelief.

He nodded.

"David that's ... that's just insane!" I cried out.

He sat back and slowly shook his head. Then in a controlled voice, reminiscent of a parent trying to describe Physics to a child, he began.

"When I married Sarah I didn't get to pick and choose those things about her I'd accept and those I wouldn't. I didn't get to accept her mother but not her father. I didn't get to acknowledge this part of her past but not that. When I married her I had to say ''I do" to the entire package.

"When she broke her vows, she broke all of them. This isn't a buffet where you get to pick and choose which vows you keep and which vows you break, it's an all or nothing type of thing.

"Her affair was like burning down half our bedroom. Could some of what was left be salvaged? Of course, but at what cost and to whom? It appeared, that in order to save that part of the house, it was going to cost a great deal. I was going to have to be a martyr, take the high road and swallow my anger, hurt, and pride. Even if I did this, the room would be scarred and the reconstruction would be long and painful. There was also no guarantee I could live with the anger of blaming her or that she would continue to live with the guilt now that it was exposed. In the end, I felt the cost was too great.

"So, alternatively I gutted the rest of the room. I purposely sank to her level. I decided to try and start over again on a somewhat more equal ground. How 'equal' is certainly up for debate.

"When I first found out about her affair, I was devastated. The fact Rachel wouldn't give me the proof I wanted ended up being a good thing. I was hurt and angry and if I would've confronted my wife then, this marriage would already be dead. As it happened, it took me a few days to verify Rachel's proof. During that time I re-evaluated my situation.

"It appeared her affair was over but that didn't stop me from having it verified, repeatedly. Some of those 'missing' funds went to pay for private investigators to watch them on their trips to Chicago and occasionally at her office. I've done that for the past year-and-a-half. And while my wife successfully stayed out of Hughes' bed, there were several others who didn't."

David stared at me for a moment and smirked.

"Your ex-lover doesn't pay very close attention to who he sleeps with on those Chicago trips, does he Sarah? Call me naïve, but it doesn't seem smart to sleep with a granddaughter of one of your board of directors during a business trip. That by itself may not be enough to inflict the magnitude of pain I'm planning for him, but together with what Rachel gave me, it should do."

David glared at me and smiled cruelly. My once gentle husband had grown hard and I realized my betrayal had helped make him that way.

"As far as my marriage ... well I first needed to ask myself if I still loved my wife. The answer was 'yes' but it wasn't in the same way as before. It was now tainted. I'd never be able to trust her like I had before. I'd never openly share my heart, my thoughts, or my dreams with her like I once did. I knew those things might someday be restored but they'd only be a shadow of what they once were."

I tried to stifle a sob. David paused and glanced at me before he continued.

"So, I looked my situation. I determined it would be best if we stayed together, at least while the children are still living at the house.

"However, that put me in a dilemma. How could I stay married to someone who'd disrespected me so much as to cuckold me and then lie to me about it for years?"

"I did what I felt I needed to do for me to stay in this marriage. I also protected myself in case we ended up in divorce.

"I was crushed when I first saw those pictures and videos of you and Hughes. My confidence and self-esteem were destroyed. So the first order of business was to address that issue.

"I'd met and worked with Leigh for a couple of years. She works as a loan officer at one of the credit unions I deal with. I knew about her situation and had helped her in the past by loaning her a few dollars.

"I was terrified to talk to her about what I wanted to propose. She must've sensed something because she wasn't offended. She said she'd always found me cute and if she'd known my marriage was in trouble she might've made a play for me. I knew it was bullshit but did it ever feel good. There's something about having a young, pretty woman actually finding me still attractive that began healing some of the wounds made by my wife when she threw me away.

"I didn't throw you away, honey!" I pleaded.

"You sure as hell did, for about a month, didn't you, sweetheart?" he snapped back at me.

"I ... but she's..." I stammered not daring to answer his question. "She's so young, David. She can't be more than 22."

"Don't let the piercings and tats fool you. She's actually 26 and very, very bright. Unfortunately for her, she has lousy taste in men." He paused and smiled. "I guess I'm also included in that group."

"I felt desired again because of Leigh. I know my wife had tried to make me feel that way after her affair but I couldn't trust her since she'd been lying for so long. My confidence grew after I started seeing Leigh. However, those weekend seminars were starting to take a toll on me. She's so energetic and spontaneous that a few times, I feared she might actually hurt me.

"After Leigh, I looked at the next order of business. I knew my next objective, after watching those videos and listening to you brag about how damn great of a lover Hughes was.

"I wasn't going to be able to compete with his size so I needed to get better with my technique. I know some guys would've sought out 'professional' help but I shied away from that idea. That's when I met Tori.

"Before all this I'd always thought our sex life was good and very satisfying..."

"But it was!" I blurted out immediately knowing it was the wrong thing to say.

David's face darkened with rage.

"But not satisfying enough to keep his cock out of you, was it," he spat. "Not satisfying enough to help you remember your wedding vows was it my cheating whore of a wife?"

I recoiled deeper into the couch.

"David," Mr. James interceded.

"I listened to her explanation of her affair, now she can give me the same common courtesy."

Raymond relented and nodded. "All right, but watch the names, please. Sarah, we need to hear him out."

I sat back and trembled at the whirlwind of emotions that were tearing my world apart. How dare he act indignant and self-righteous after what he'd done! My affair lasted only a month while he'd been cheating on me for a year! Mark and I had sex about a dozen times while he ... he's had sex with those whores at least a hundred times! Where the hell does he get off, my mind screamed, acting like the wounded spouse? What he's done was so much worse than ... what I...

I stopped and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes I realized both men were watching me. It was as if they could tell what I was thinking. My feelings must have been written plainly across my face.

Really girl? Are you really trying to compare which was worse? It was like trying to defend why a horse turd was less offensive than a cow pie when they're both shit!

It was at that moment, I stopped trying to justify my feelings. My feelings were still there and just as intense as before but I understood the reason. I'd opened this door into hell and now the demons were loose in my marriage.

David took a deep breath and continued.

"Tori was beautiful, sexy and several years older. More importantly, she was very, very experienced. The fact that she loved sex and enjoyed teaching those who were willing to learn, well, that made her perfect.

"She was so full of life and wanted to show me things I'd only ever heard of. There were certain things I wasn't interested in but she never let it disappoint her. She just went on to something else. She'd continually surprise me. One time it was light bondage, another was the various uses of a feather, still another centered on the usually forgotten sexual areas of a woman.

"Going out with her in Atlanta, was always an adventure. She was very much into exhibitionism and public sex. Under her, both literally and figuratively, I became a better lover, at least technically.

"With those two objectives addressed, I turned my attention to the third and final one. This one was more difficult. I knew I still loved Sarah, or at least I thought I did. I had such strong feelings for her but I was torn by what I was doing. My head understood my logic but my heart questioned it. How could I be having an affair and still claim to love my wife?

"My answer came when I met Anna Marie. Where Leigh and Tori were just sex, Anna Marie reminded me what making love felt like. The first time we ended up in bed together was a surprise. I intended it to be like the others but she wasn't having any of that. She engulfed me with her body along with her passion. When we were through, I left quietly.