Chapter 12

The suffocating shadow receded but Helena was still submersed in darkness. The floor of the apartment had been replaced with the feel of grass against her knees. In seconds she was drenched from the pouring rain, making her shiver.

"So this is where you came from."

She looked around, feeling Xavier's hand gripping her shoulder as he stood over her. At last, her head stopped spinning and she was able to look around. Her heart dropped into her stomach at the sight of the shabby house, two miles from Dublin. She was back in Ireland, staring at the crap-shack that had once been her home. Kneeling in the fields outside, she stared at the lights in the windows, and even over the rain, she could hear her mother's voice. She had company over. When Helena had been a child, she remembered her mother always having company.

"Please, no, not here."

"This is where it all started, isn't it? This is your home. What happened here to make you so angry at the world?"

Helena got to her feet and turned to him, and even in the rain, he could see her tears. "Why are you doing this to me? Why must you be so cruel?"

"For once in my life, I'm not being cruel. I'm trying to help you. With or without me, you've been stagnant at that school, and your movement into the future will be long and agonizing unless you come to terms with your past. Tell me what happened here. Let it out. It's time for you to tell me the truth, and tell yourself the truth."

She grabbed him by the collar as if trying to lift him off his feet, but instead, simply leaned against him. "Please, just take me back to the school! I'm begging you! Just let the past stay in the past!"

"Not until you move forward! You claim you left your old life behind, but all you did was lock it up in a giant safe that you've carried on your back all these years. You shut out your past but you haven't let it go. Face your fears and stop lying to yourself! The truth will set you free."

She let go of him and turned around, taking a few steps to the house. It looked like it hadn't seen any maintenance since she left.

"My mother ... was an alcoholic whore. Just listening to her, I can tell that nothing has changed. She gave birth to me out of wedlock and resented me ever since. She was never there for me, never supported me, never gave more than the smallest amount of effort to take care of me. There were more liquor bottles in that house than food. I remember pushing them aside in the kitchen, desperately looking for something to eat. I remember them smashing by my head when she threw them at me and I got showered in glass. I used to dream that someday I would meet my father and he would take me away to someplace wonderful, away from this dreary country."

Xavier looked at her quizzically. "Did she never tell you about your father?"

"She didn't even know who he was. Considering how busy she was, half the men in Dublin could have been my father."

She looked back at him and gave a bitter laugh, her face wet with both rain and tears. "How fitting would it be if you ended up my father? What a cliché twist of fate. Seventeen years ago, a scumbag like you screwed my mother and I was born, the granddaughter of Satan."

She looked back at the house, hearing a woman moaning inside. "When she wasn't on her back for money, she was bringing home a new boyfriend every week. Each of them was worse than the last. They would yell at me, they would hit me, and they would throw things at me. Sometimes ... they would climb into my bed at night and touch me, just like you. That was how I learned to fight, to keep back the pedophiles looking for a cute little girl to deflower. Why do you think I hated men so much? Every man I had ever met was either a loser or a monster.

Then, one day, I saw missionaries at the local church handing out pamphlets for Rosewood University. It was my chance to escape from Hell and I took it. Tuition is free if you tell them that you're an orphan. Considering the clothes I was wearing, they didn't even question me. They took me with them and I got to leave this wretched country behind and bask in the warmth of Rome. I never wanted to come back here. I burned every bridge and severed every link connecting me to this godforsaken house.

Then you came along and I got to experience Hell all over again."

Xavier swallowed the lump in his throat. Right now, Helena was more vulnerable than ever in her life, but being with her, speaking to her with the air around them so thick with emotion, he felt his own strength fade. The layers of darkness around his black soul were being pealed away, as if he had ripped open his chest and exposed his beating hard to the frigid rain, daring fate to spear him through.

"That's why you're so afraid of the future. This place was the whole world to you when you were a child, so you associate the whole world with this place. Rosewood University was your ticket to happiness, now you're afraid to leave because you think some new horror will assail you the second you step through those doors. That was the real reason why you wanted to join the Swiss Guard. The church had saved you when you were a child, so you thought you would always be safe if you stayed at the Pope's side. You didn't want to protect the church, you wanted the church to protect you."

Helena balled her hands into fists and her slender shoulders trembled as she cried. "All I ever wanted was to be strong. All I ever wanted was the assurance that I would never again be a victim. Maybe I should thank you for showing me how weak I really am. For showing me what a pathetic life I've lived! I thought I had grown up from being that scared little girl crying under her bed, but all these years, I've just been lying to myself."

"No, you're wrong. Helena, you are stronger than you could ever imagine. Do you think a weakling could have survived what you went through? Could have fended off all the horrors closing in around her and made her escape? Seizing her own life and living it? Do you think a weakling could fight criminals and even wound the Antichrist? Every time you cursed me or swore that you would never side with me, your strength was weakened by your contradicting emotions. But do you remember that night, the night we fought above the gymnasium? There was no fear in you, there was no hatred or even love. For that brief hour, you unleashed all the power pent up inside you and became a goddess, not because of what you felt for me, but because that was who you are.

You learned to fight because you were afraid of ever going back to that nightmare, because you feared change and the unknown future. That future I showed you, that was not some wish I had. That was your true self. That was the confident and elegant queen who conquered the world instead of fearing it. It's not weakness holding you back, but fear. If you never want to be a victim again, seize the world instead of hiding from it. I saw that strength the moment I met you, the strength to change the world. That's why I wanted you to be my queen, because you are the first person I ever met who I knew could fit that role."

She stared up into the cloudy night sky, feeling the rain pelt her face. 'Is that true? Am I really as strong as he says? All this time, have I been holding back simply because I've been afraid? Can I really change the world? Can I really ... stop being afraid?'

"I'm sorry."

She spun around, a wild look to her eye. Had he ... just apologized? The look on his face was of true regret, an expression she never thought she would see on him. "If I had known what you've been through, I never would have tormented you like I have. I wasn't trying to truly hurt you or remind you of your past. I just wanted you to open up. I'm sorry ... for everything."

She tackled him, unable to knock him off his feet but beating him wildly with her fists. "Shut up! Don't you dare apologize! You think that saying you're sorry will make it all ok?! You think a few pretty words can make up for everything you've done to me?! Don't you do this to me! Don't you dare do this to me!"

She leaned against him, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Helena..."

"Don't you dare apologize. Don't try to be nice to me, I hate when you're nice to me. Please, anything but that. Humiliate me, rape someone, kill people, anything! Be cruel! Be evil! Just please don't be nice to me!"

She looked up at him, pressed to his chest with her heart overflowing with emotions. "Please don't make it so hard for me to hate you! I want to hate you so much, just like I used you. But every time you make me smile, every time you make me laugh, all the bad moments disappear. I don't know what to do!"

Xavier embraced her, holding her tightly with their faces inches apart. "Helena, stop thinking about what you're supposed to do. Stop thinking about what you're told to do. Stop thinking about what the world has taught you is right and moral. Join me or reject me, I don't care anymore. I just want you to finally be free. Do what makes you happy and follow your heart and I will help you however I can. I've spent my whole life lying, but these are the truest words I'll ever say: Helena, I love you."

They stared deep into each other's eyes before Helena finally stood up on her tiptoes and kissed Xavier. With their bodies shivering in the rain, they stood like statues, holding each other tightly while their joined lips moved like waves. After all the time Helena had spent seething with anger and drowning in desperation, she never felt like she was on a path so right as she was now. For so long, her hatred and love for Xavier had been entwined so tightly in her heart that she couldn't tell them apart, but by casting everything else aside, she could at last feel her honest feelings overflowing from within her. For the first time, she was opening her heart and indulging her true desires, no longer caring about what she had been taught to believe. At last, she was free.

Xavier was in a similar state, experiencing something that never interested him, but now realizing it was the strongest need in his soul. All the women he had been with, all of the cruel and sinful things he had done to them, but it was this simple kiss that was shaking him down to his very core. This was not some conquest or achievement. This was fulfillment, something that almost made him forget his dark origins and made him feel like a simple human. Like her, he was finally ready to change. Like her, he was finally able to accept the future, as long as they were together.

The kiss at last ended and he wiped away her tears. "Come on, let's get you home and out of the rain."

Helena and Xavier materialized in her dorm room. Nearby, Sophie was sound asleep, completely untouched and with a pure mind. Clutching his arm, Helena appeared almost drugged, her mind completely fried from the maelstrom of emotions she had just experienced. As gentle as could be, Xavier undressed her and tossed aside her wet clothes. She didn't move at all or react to his touch. Once she was down to just her bra and panties, he laid her out on the bed with her back to him and put the blanket over her. Leaning down, he kissed her shoulder and got up to leave.

"Wait."

He turned back as Helena sat up. She reached out to him and he gave her his hand. She held his hand against the side of her face and began to kiss it. "I'll do it. I'm done lying to myself and denying what I truly want. I'll be your queen and your wife. I'm ready to move forward into the future with you. Xavier, I love you."

He smiled and sat down on her bed, cupping her cheek with his other hand. The smile on his face was one he had never worn. It was like when she saw him with dogs or in that photo album, but so much more powerful. It wasn't just simple enjoyment or happiness he was feeling. It was as if she could see everything within him, the darkest confines of his unholy soul exposed to the light of her love. She could at last see everything, including how much he had changed since meeting her. Slowly she came back to life and he could see happiness in her glowing eyes, the relief of finally being able to shed the weights she had carried. She had learned to fight to protect her body, became a zealot to protect her mind, and wrapped herself in lies to protect her heart, but at last, she was allowing herself to stand naked and exposed, feeling the air kiss her skin for the first time. She had forced herself to be strong her entire life, but it was allowing herself to be vulnerable here and now that would help her to grow, more than anything else.

"But we need to set some ground rules. First of all, this is a monogamous relationship. None of that "servant girl threesome" crap. Until I die, you have to be completely loyal."

Xavier gave a soft chuckle. "Very well, but I'll keep waiting for you to get a perverted hunger and want to try something new."

"Second: no more tormenting people, especially me. You can't do what you did to those girls back there in that apartment. So let everyone go. No more collars."

"Of course."

"Third: when we take over the world, you have to promise you have to improve it instead of rule it with an iron fist or destroy it."

"I'm just going to leave all that stuff to you. Anything else?"

She held his hands with a sad smile on her face, but when she looked up at him, it was pure beauty. "You promise this is all real? That this isn't some practical joke?"

"I promise."

Blushing, she slowly pushed the straps of her bra off her shoulders. "Then take me, my king."

They leaned forward and began to kiss, gently at first, Xavier letting Helena get accustomed to the act. After a minute, he reached behind her and released the clasp of her bra, letting it slip free. Having no need to feel embarrassed, she tossed it aside with a coy smile and resumed kissing him. He leaned forward, laying her out on her back while using his powers to make his clothes disappear. Lying next to her, he slid his hands under the sheets and into her panties. After all the times he had done it before, she at last looked forward to it. His fingers rolled over her labia like waves lapping at the shore, gently stimulating the entrance before finally slipping into her. At last, Helena didn't have to hide her aroused panting and her whimpers of pleasure. She could finally acknowledge everything without embarrassment.

As his fingers moved inside her, he had his thumb on her clitoris, playing it like a joystick and making her voice steadily rise in volume. Above, he was switching back and forth between kissing her on the lips and kissing her breasts. Helena reached under the covers and grasped his manhood, mentally preparing herself for penetration. It felt so hot, like metal from a forge, and she could feel Xavier's pulse in the veins and muscles. So focused was she that she didn't notice her building orgasm until it was past the point of no return. She began to moan, her voice matching the quickening movements of his fingers. She pulled her lips away from his, burying her face in the side of his neck and clutching him while she erupted. In the greatest climax of her life, a splash of arousal soaked Xavier's hand while she cried out in ecstasy.

He pulled his hand away and began licking it clean. "I'd say you're ready."

She looked away from him, blushing in embarrassment.

"What?" he laughed.

"Could you ... uh ... could you just ... just please..."

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

He then moved on top of her, holding himself up with the shaft of his manhood resting against her pussy. The way she was blushing, that cute panting, the fever-like dizziness in her eyes; they were driving him wild in lust. He cupped her cheek and brushed his thumb across her soft lips. She opened her mouth and began to suck on it, then started kissing his palm.

"You're just too cute. I've been waiting for since the moment I first saw you. Ready?"

She gave a nervous nod, hiding her mouth behind her hands. He kissed her on the forehead and worked himself in. From the moment the head spread the lips of her pussy, Helena's panting increased and her blushed brightened. Xavier pushed all the way in, rupturing her hymen and deflowering her. He stopped for a moment, letting her get used to the feeling. In her voice was a mix of pain and euphoria, but the longer he waited, the weaker the former became and the stronger the latter grew.

"How does it feel to lose your virginity to the Antichrist?"

She giggled. "It's wonderful. But if you give me any STDs, I'll kill you."

Taking that as a sign that she was ready, he pulled out of her, letting her virgin blood drip off his phallus and stain the sheets. He immediately pushed it back in, making her yelp and arch her back. From there, movement eased, and Xavier began gently thrusting into her while they resumed kissing. At first, Helena had her legs wrapped around his waist, but as his thrusts increased in speed and strength and her pleasure grew in depth, they spread apart and were in the air. Helena was whining in bliss, every impact of Xavier's cock making her feel like a shell of concrete was breaking off her soul. Neither one of them had ever felt anything like this, being so deeply connected to another person. Helena had always kept people at a distance and Xavier had always disregarded and looked down on mankind, but at last, they were on the same level and exposing their depths to each other. For the first time, they were allowing themselves to be vulnerable and relishing the feeling of everything between them melting away.

"Xavier, I'm..."

"I know, hold on."

He further sped up his thrusts, now using his body weight to slam down into her. Helena's whine was turning into a shrill moan and euphoric smile was on her face. "Oh God! Oh God! OH GOD! I'M CUMMING!"

She again arched her back as her moan reached new volume. In the middle of her climax, Xavier suddenly grabbed her and held the two of them vertical. She grasped his shoulders, riding his cock and moaning like an opera singer. They continued in this position for several minutes, with Helena using her weight to drive Xavier's cock deeper and deeper inside her and Xavier picking her up and dropping her onto his lap. While she rose and fell, their lips joined and parted like the clouds joining the horizon. This was the most amazing experience of her life, and easily the most pleasurable. Why hadn't anyone told her sex was so much fun?!

They soon switched positions, still remaining vertical but now with her back to him. He supported her with his arms, letting her suck on his fingers and using his other hand to play with her clit. Using his powers, he was channeling a tiny electric shock from his fingertips to the nub, just enough to stimulate the nerves but without inflicting pain. After less than a minute, she had a thunderous chain or orgasms, cumming again and again, not even feeling Xavier ejaculating inside her and filling her womb with his semen. Her body limp, he lowered her down and pulled out of her, his seed slowly starting to drip from her pussy. Xavier leaned down and kissed her, making her purr.

"I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too."

She rolled over, giving him a tired smile and holding his hands. "So this is real, isn't it? Us? Our future?"

"Yeah, it's real."

Helena woke up and turned off her alarm, taking a moment to think before getting up. Last night, she had accepted her feelings for Xavier and the two of them made love. Or had that all been a dream? The fact that she wasn't wearing a bra or panties told her it had really happened. She smiled and touched her slit, a little sore from being deflowered and sticky with Xavier's cum. To think, she had fallen in love with the Antichrist. But for the first time, she could see the future clearly, as well as the world. Sophie was slow to stir, even to the beeping of the alarm clock, giving Helena time to put back on her underwear. She rubbed her neck, feeling her collar and being glad to wear it. She and Sophie got dressed, both complaining about how much they missed sleeping in during vacation. About to leave the room with Sophie for breakfast, Helena stopped and looked to her bedside table. There, beside her clock, her trinity necklace lay. She picked it up and stared at it. While her future was crystal-clear, her faith had now blurred. Xavier was proof that God existed, but everything he had told her at that cafe also rang true. Was God indifferent? Incompetent? Sadistic? Either way, she was done waiting for him to show her the way. With Xavier at her side, she was going to carve out her own path, her own destiny.

Approaching the classroom, Helena was suddenly overcome with nervousness. Xavier would be there, and while it would finally be nice to feel happiness when seeing him ... they just had sex. No matter what, it would be awkward. She at last entered the classroom and saw him. Their eyes met and they both smiled, hers bright and happy, and his ... despondent, of all things. It was a sad smile, one that showed joy like hers, but telling her that there was something wrong. Oh well, he just probably wasn't used to being in a consenting, monogamous relationship.

The day passed by in a haze, with Helena intoxicated on a cocktail of endorphins. All her stress had vanished in one night, both the tension between her and Xavier and the pain of her past that she had kept bottled up. Then there was also the beginning of this new relationship. For the first time in her life, she had a boyfriend, and she couldn't be happier. Every minute was spent thinking of him, waiting for night to come so that they could be together. Not even Sister Olivia could dampen her mood, the nun having been stripped of her memories of Xavier's torture. Unfortunately, that loss of fear had turned her back into a ball-busting cunt.

In the following days, Xavier and Helena worked out a routine. During class, they would go about their business without giving anyone a reason to suspect anything. If they happened to have free periods at the same time, they would sneak off to some quiet corner of the school and make love. During the night, after Sophie fell asleep, Helena would lie awake and eagerly wait to feel him slide under the sheets, his lips to the back of her neck and his hand between her legs. For her, life was perfect.

Helena was panting with her face flushed and a wide smile. She and Xavier were naked in her bedroom, having snuck off in the middle of lunch. She was sitting on his face and he was drinking her in, swirling his tongue around in her sweet honeypot and savoring the taste of her essence. Every flick of his tongue was ecstasy, making her toes stretch and curl. She looked down at his erection, sprawled out like a beached whale. Should she do something? She had given him a couple hand jobs since she first made love, but ... should she do more? He was using his mouth on her, so it was only fair.

She slowly leaned down and brought her face close to his manhood. After all the porn she had watched, she certainly knew how it worked. She was nervous about doing such a thing, even though she had already had sex. Sure, she had sided with the Antichrist, but she still had some innocence. But on the other hand, she and Xavier were going to spend their lives together, so she was going to do it eventually. She might as well start now...

Pointing it straight up, she opened her mouth and slowly put her tongue out. If anything could be said about Xavier, he maintained very good hygiene and kept everything manicured down there, but there was still a very manly musk. The smell was overwhelming, striking deep down into the heart of her femininity. In a way, it was more stimulating than the movements of his tongue. Tentatively, she brought her tongue up the shaft and could feel his whole body react. It wasn't a bad feeling, and she could taste the salt from his sweat. She licked him again and a third time, slowly figuring it out. Having worked up some confidence, she kissed the head, surprised by the incredibly heat her lips felt. She swirled her tongue around it, letting her saliva run down the length. At last, she was ready.

Opening her mouth, she took it in as far as she could. Because of the height difference, she could only get the first few inches, but she rolled his cock around in her mouth lovingly. Already, her nervousness was gone and she felt this become like second nature to her. She instinctively knew to keep her teeth away and to use the sides of her cheeks as much as possible. Shocking her, Xavier sat up, still holding onto her with his tongue never leaving her slit. Curling his posture removed the height difference between them, sending his cock barreling into her throat. At first she struggled, feeling her gag reflex activating and her breathing being blocked. Xavier put his hand on her head, not to keep her down, but to calm her, and after a few seconds, she managed to relax her throat. Breathing between movements, she started bobbing her head, drowning his cock in saliva and then slurping it up.

She raised her head, gasping for air with her mind overwhelmed with lust. Hell, was she enjoying this more than he was? She began stroking him, using her spit as lubricant, then bent down and started licking it like a popsicle, before again letting it probe the depths of her throat. Xavier could feel it, her sexual pleasure increasing in intensity, signaled by the increasing wetness of her young pussy. She was close to cumming, and he as well. He started bucking his hips, skull-fucking her with Helena feeling nothing but kinky joy. She simply held her head stationary and allowed him to use her mouth as a fleshlight. They both came a minute later, Helena moaning in euphoria as Xavier filled her mouth with semen. It tasted awful and oozed down her throat, but she was too horny to care. She sucked on his cock like a vacuum, devouring every last glob like it was chocolate syrup. More, she needed more stimulation. She couldn't let it end here.

She continued sucking him off, refusing to let him go flaccid. Once he had regained his erection, she sat up and moved onto his lap, letting him enter her. She gasped in happiness as his cock slid into her pussy and began rocking back and forth on it. Xavier lied back with a satisfied smirk, watching as her tight, teen ass bobbed across his lap like a rolling pin. The way she was moving left him breathing heavy, the sensation of his cock being stirred in her velvet sleeve was making his body search for any unused ammunition to fire. Helena leaned back and Xavier lifted her up by the backs of her knees and again started bucking his hips, driving straight up into her with almost inhuman force. Helena was moaning at the top of her legs, struggling to keep her balance on his cock as he harpooned her womanhood with it. The look on her face was one of hedonistic madness, a complete surrender to sexual pleasure.

"You're so loose! You must really be enjoying this!"

"Oh God! It feels so good!"

She turned around to face him and changed her position, crouching on the bed so that he could continue thrusting up into her. She looked so happy. It actually warmed Xavier's black heart in ways he couldn't describe. A coy grin on his face, he reached down and stuck his finger in her ass, making her holler in shock and joy. He moved his finger inside her anus, pumping her with it while his cock punished her cunt.

In only a minute, she gave that signature moan. "Oh God! I'm cumming!"

Droplets of her euphoria splashed across his lap and she collapsed on top of him, gasping for air. Once she had calmed, she kissed his chest a few times and then moved up to let her lips join his.

She looked into his eyes, a smile of warmth and love on her rose petal lips. "I should have given in to you the day I met you. This has all been wonderful beyond words. But I'm surprised. I spend a week with you and I'm already a depraved jezebel."

Xavier put his arm around her and kissed her on the forehead. "Same. You're the first person I've actually truly cared about."

She bolted up. "Oh shit! We're going to be late for our next class!"

Her face then became red with embarrassment and she covered her mouth. Swearing was still something new to her.

Xavier and Helena rushed into the classroom just as the bell rang. They weren't out of breath, as Xavier had used his powers to teleport them to an empty part of the building and make their way from there. Sister "the Sphinx" Olivia turned back to them with an angry glare. "You're late, both of you."

Helena glared right back, having yet to go back on her word to stop fearing the nun. "We're in the classroom before the bell, so technically we aren't."

"Well the class has started and you're not in your seats. That's detention."

"According to the school handbook, the bell is to tell students to get to their seats, which we were in the process of doing. You can't punish us for following the rules. You're the one getting in our way."

Sister Olivia began to tremble with rage at Helena's lack of fear. 'Impudent brat!' "Well let's see what the Disciplinary Committee has to say about this!"

"Go ahead! Waste their time like you're wasting ours. Right now, you're being an even bigger interruption than we are."