Slytherins, Kisses and Other Disasters
Copyright© 2026 by Caroline Stanton
Chapter 35: Music, Cats, and a Very Particular Problem
By the time the Slytherin girls reached their common room, word of their expedition had already spread. Victoria had barely stepped through the entrance before Daphne Greengrass spotted the shopping bags and demanded to know what they’d bought. Within minutes, half the girls in the common room had gathered around the sofas, while several boys watched from a safe distance, apparently remembering what had happened the last time the girls had taken possession of the room.
Georgina was only too happy to begin with her shoes.
“Four pairs?” Pansy Parkinson exclaimed, staring at the boxes arranged on the carpet. “You bought four pairs of shoes?”
“Yes, and I’d have bought six if Adrian hadn’t started looking like he was about to die.”
“I was carrying seven bags,” Adrian protested from an armchair.
“And you looked very handsome doing it, darling.”
Marcus Flintley snorted. Theodore Nott grinned, and Adrian shook his head with the helpless smile of a boy who had discovered that being in love involved certain sacrifices.
Victoria produced her new black boots, then the fitted jumper she’d bought. Georgina insisted on modelling two of her outfits, while Draconia disappeared upstairs and returned wearing her emerald-green dress. The reaction was immediate. Daphne gasped, Pansy demanded to know where she’d found it, and even the younger girls abandoned their homework to look.
“That,” Pansy declared, “is absolutely gorgeous.”
Draconia turned before the mirror, allowing the skirt to move around her knees. “And it cost considerably less than anything comparable in Madam Malkin’s.”
“How much less?”
Draconia told her. Pansy stared. “You’re joking.”
“Not remotely.”
“Then we’re going next time.”
Victoria laughed. “You’ll have to ask Potter nicely. He’s the one who knows his way around.”
“Potter?” Pansy repeated, as though the word had acquired an entirely new meaning.
“Yes, Potter. You know, Harry. Glasses, scar, rather handsome, happens to be my boyfriend?”
“Merlin, Vic, we know who Potter is.”
“Just checking.”
Georgina’s new heels were an even greater success. When she put them on, she rose well above most of the girls gathered around her, and Daphne looked from the shoes to Adrian with a wicked smile.
“Doesn’t it bother you that your girlfriend’s taller than you?”
Adrian glanced up from the magazine Marcus had handed him. “No.”
“Not even in those?”
“Especially in those.”
Georgina beamed, crossed the room, and kissed him. Marcus groaned. “There they go again.”
“Jealous?” Georgina asked.
“Of the shoes? Terribly.”
The laughter continued until the dinner bell reminded them that there were other things in life besides new clothes. Reluctantly, the girls packed away their purchases, Draconia changed back into her everyday clothes, and the Slytherins made their way upstairs.
The Great Hall was already filling when they arrived. Harry and Hermione were seated at the Gryffindor table with Ron, who looked up at the approaching group and noticed the small shopping bag Adrian was carrying.
“Didn’t you lot buy enough stuff?”
“Not clothes,” Adrian said cheerfully.
He sat down beside Marcus and Theodore, took out a compact disc case, and placed it on the table. Marcus examined the cover.
“Nirvana,” he read. “What’s that?”
“A Muggle rock band.”
Theodore leaned closer. “A what?”
“Rock music. Harry introduced me to it this afternoon.”
Marcus turned the case over. “Why’s there a baby swimming after a banknote?”
“Apparently nobody knows,” Adrian replied. “Harry couldn’t explain it either.”
From the Gryffindor table, Harry called, “I said I didn’t know what the cover meant!”
“Same thing!” Adrian called back.
Ron looked intrigued. “You’ve got Nevermind?” Harry turned. “You know Nirvana?”
“Course I do. Dean plays them sometimes when he’s home. Says his dad can’t stand them.”
Adrian looked delighted. “They’re brilliant!” Marcus frowned. “How brilliant?” Adrian opened the bag again and produced his portable CD player. “Here. I’ll show you.” Theodore examined the little silver machine. “What does it do?”
“It plays the disc. You put these things over your ears.”
“Why?”
“So you can hear the music.”
“Without anyone else hearing it?”
“Exactly.”
Marcus looked suspicious. “Sounds like a very elaborate way of listening to a wireless.”
“Just try it.”
Adrian fitted the headphones over Marcus’s ears, inserted the disc, and pressed play. He had chosen the opening track, the one Harry had assured him was practically essential listening for anyone discovering modern rock. Marcus sat perfectly still for several seconds. Then his eyebrows shot up. He looked at Adrian, his mouth opening in astonishment. Theodore leaned forward. “Well?” Marcus said something that nobody could hear.
“What?” Theodore demanded.
Marcus pulled off one side of the headphones. “BLOODY HELL!” Several students turned. Professor Snape looked up from the staff table. Marcus hastily lowered his voice. “What is that?” Adrian grinned. “Told you.” Marcus listened for another minute, then removed the headphones and passed them to Theodore.
“That’s incredible.”
Theodore put them on. His reaction was less dramatic, but after a moment his foot began tapping beneath the table. He listened intently, then nodded in time with the drums.
“Interesting,” he said when he finally took them off. “Very interesting. Is all Muggle music like that?”
“Not remotely,” Harry called from across the aisle.
Adrian smiled. “And apparently there’s a lot more to discover.” Marcus looked at the little player. “Where do I get one?” Harry laughed. “I think I’m going to have to organise another expedition.”
“Count me in,” Theodore said.
“And me,” Marcus added.
Georgina, who had been watching with considerable amusement, leaned over Adrian’s shoulder.
“Can I hear?”
“Of course.”
He handed her the headphones, and she put them on. For a moment she listened with a thoughtful expression. Then the guitars grew louder, and her face lit up.
“Oh, that’s good.”
Adrian smiled. “Thought you’d like it.” She listened a little longer before removing the headphones. “We need one of those.”
“We?”
“Yes, darling. We. You’re not keeping all the good music to yourself.”
Marcus laughed. “He’s been dating her for a week and she’s already annexing his possessions.” Georgina gave him a sweet smile. “Only the interesting ones.” At the Gryffindor table, Hermione was discovering that introducing a pure-blood witch to Muggle entertainment could be considerably more entertaining than she’d anticipated. Draconia approached her with an expression of carefully restrained curiosity. “Hermione, may I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Earlier, you mentioned that Muggles record moving pictures of their pets.”
“Home videos, yes. My parents recorded a programme full of them. Here, I’ll show you.”
Hermione had borrowed a portable television and video player from the Muggle Studies classroom. Professor Flitwick had already adapted the equipment to function safely inside Hogwarts, and the recording was ready to play. She set the little screen where Draconia could see it and pressed a button. A small ginger kitten appeared on the screen. It was sitting on a polished wooden floor, regarding a cucumber with deep suspicion.
Draconia leaned closer. “What’s it doing?”
“Just watch.”
The kitten approached the cucumber, sniffed it, turned away, then suddenly noticed it again and leapt sideways in alarm. Draconia laughed. Several heads turned.
“Oh, that’s ridiculous!”
Hermione grinned. “There’s more.” The next clip showed a black-and-white cat attempting to climb into a cardboard box that was plainly too small for it. The cat pushed its head inside, wriggled, backed out, examined the box, and tried again from another angle. Draconia laughed harder. “Why doesn’t it simply find a larger box?”
“Because it’s a cat.”
“That explains nothing!”
“Exactly.”
Another clip featured a kitten chasing the red dot of a laser pointer across a carpet. Draconia watched in fascination as the animal skidded around corners, pounced, missed, and finally attacked its owner’s slipper.
“Oh, poor little thing! It can’t catch it!”
“That’s the point.”
“Well, it’s a rather cruel point.”
Hermione laughed. “The kitten’s having fun.” Draconia studied the screen. “And people make these little films of their pets?”
“Quite a lot of people. There are entire television programmes of them.”
“Why?”
“Because they’re funny.”
Draconia considered this, then watched another kitten tumble backwards off a cushion. She dissolved into laughter again.
“All right. I understand.”
Ron, who had been listening with increasing amusement, leaned across the table. “What’s so funny?” Hermione turned the little screen towards him. Ron watched a kitten fall asleep with its face in a bowl of food. He grinned. “That’s brilliant.” Harry leaned over too. Within moments, three Gryffindors and one Slytherin were watching a succession of increasingly absurd feline disasters. Victoria eventually noticed. “What are you lot laughing at?”
“Cats,” Harry said.
Victoria stared. “Cats?”
“Come and see.”
She came over, followed by Georgina, who had finally surrendered the headphones to Theodore. Hermione rewound the tape to a clip of a fluffy white cat confronting its reflection in a mirror. The animal puffed itself up, arched its back, and launched an indignant attack on the glass. Victoria laughed so loudly that several Ravenclaws looked over. “OH, THAT’S BLOODY BRILLIANT!” Georgina was laughing too. “Look at its face!”
Draconia wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. “I had absolutely no idea Muggles possessed such a vast collection of amusing cats.” Ron grinned. “You haven’t even seen the dogs yet.” Draconia looked at him. “Dogs?” Hermione smiled. “Tomorrow.”
By the time pudding arrived, Draconia had watched enough animal clips to develop several firm opinions. Ginger cats were reckless, black cats were unfairly maligned, and any animal attempting to fit inside an impossibly small container was obviously incapable of judging its own dimensions.
Hermione also showed her a few photographs, a street map and a simple game on a Muggle Studies laptop, which Professor Flitwick had likewise adapted for use in the castle. The information was stored on little silver discs rather than arriving from some invisible source.
“How do Muggles ever find time to do anything else?” Draconia asked.
Hermione laughed. “That’s actually a very good question.” Draconia examined the disc case. “And all of this fits on one of those?”
“A surprising amount does.”
“Without magic.”
“Without magic.”
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