Slytherins, Kisses and Other Disasters
Copyright© 2026 by Caroline Stanton
Chapter 34: An Unexpected Reception
The six students reappeared in the Hogwarts entrance hall at precisely seventeen minutes past five. There was a brief rush of air, a faint popping sensation, and then Harry Potter found himself standing on familiar stone floors, surrounded by shopping bags, shoe boxes, and five companions who had spent the better part of the day discovering the delights of Muggle commerce.
“Bloody hell,” Georgina said, adjusting the bags hanging from her arms. “That was fantastic.”
Adrian staggered slightly as the Portkey released him.
“Next time,” he said, “could we arrange something that doesn’t feel like being pulled through a drainpipe?”
Victoria laughed. “You should try travelling by Floo with my father. He always comes out backwards.” Hermione was checking that everyone had arrived with their belongings. “Six people, all accounted for. Good.”
“Seven,” Harry said.
Hermione looked up. “What?” Harry pointed towards the mountain of bags at Adrian’s feet. “I think Georgina bought enough clothes to qualify as another person.” Georgina punched him lightly on the shoulder.
“Cheeky bastard.”
Victoria burst out laughing.
“She’s got a point, Harry.”
Draconia, meanwhile, was carefully straightening her coat. Her new mobile telephone was tucked securely into her handbag, along with a folded receipt, Alex’s handwritten number, and the two dresses she’d purchased. She looked around with satisfaction.
“Well. That was a remarkably productive expedition.”
“Indeed, Miss Malfoy.”
Every student froze. Professor Minerva McGonagall stood at the foot of the grand staircase. Her arms were folded. Her expression was unreadable. And she was looking directly at the enormous collection of shopping bags. Harry swallowed.
“Good afternoon, Professor.”
McGonagall surveyed the group.
“Potter.”
Her gaze moved to Hermione.
“Miss Granger.”
Then to Victoria, Georgina, Adrian, and Draconia.
“Miss Crabbe. Miss Goyle. Mr Selwyn. Miss Malfoy.”
“Good afternoon, Professor,” they chorused.
McGonagall looked at the bags again. A long silence followed. Then she removed her spectacles.
“Good heavens.”
Harry had faced dragons, Dementors, Death Eaters, and Lord Voldemort himself. Yet there was something uniquely unsettling about Professor McGonagall standing silently before him, examining four pairs of shoes, several dresses, assorted clothing, and a small collection of Muggle electronic equipment.
“Potter,” she said at last, “when you requested permission for a supervised excursion into a Muggle shopping centre, I understood that you intended to introduce your companions to aspects of ordinary Muggle life.”
“Yes, Professor.”
“Not purchase half of it.”
Victoria made a strangled noise. Georgina looked down. Adrian pressed his lips together. Harry tried desperately not to smile.
“Well, Professor, they were rather enthusiastic.”
“So I see.”
McGonagall approached the shopping bags. She examined one. Then another. Then looked at Georgina.
“Miss Goyle.”
“Yes, Professor?”
“Are those four shoe boxes yours?”
Georgina hesitated.
“Yes, Professor.”
“Four pairs of shoes?”
“Yes, Professor.”
“Did you leave your existing shoes at home?”
Victoria exploded with laughter. Georgina turned bright red.
“No, Professor.”
“Then I trust you have a compelling reason for acquiring four additional pairs.”
Georgina looked desperately towards Adrian. He was no help whatsoever. He was laughing too hard.
“They were beautiful, Professor,” Georgina said finally.
McGonagall regarded her for a moment. Then nodded gravely.
“Ah. Well, that explains everything.”
Hermione covered her mouth. Even Draconia laughed. McGonagall turned towards Victoria.
“And you, Miss Crabbe?”
Victoria straightened.
“Yes, Professor?”
“I understand you were the original inspiration for this expedition.”
Victoria grinned.
“Guilty as charged.”
“Indeed.”
McGonagall examined the tall Slytherin girl thoughtfully.
“I also understand that your previous visit to the Muggle world was a considerable success.”
Victoria’s expression brightened.
“Oh, yes, Professor! It was brilliant!”
“So Potter informed me.”
“And this time we went shopping properly, and Georgie tried on about a hundred pairs of shoes, and Adrian discovered rock music, and Draco—”
She stopped. Draconia turned towards her with alarming speed. Victoria smiled innocently.
“—bought some lovely dresses.”
McGonagall looked from one girl to the other.
“I see.”
Draconia gave Victoria a warning look. Victoria grinned. McGonagall’s eyes narrowed slightly. She had taught adolescents for far too many years not to recognise that something was being concealed. But she let it pass. For the moment. Her attention shifted to Adrian.
“Mr Selwyn, I understand you have acquired an interest in Muggle music.”
“Yes, Professor.”
“What sort?”
“Rock music.”
“Indeed.”
“Harry showed me some recordings. It’s extraordinary.”
McGonagall nodded.
“And what, precisely, makes it extraordinary?”
Adrian considered.
“Well, the guitars, mostly. They’re electric, and they make this tremendous noise, and the drums are incredible.”
McGonagall looked at Harry.
“Potter.”
“Yes, Professor?”
“Have you introduced Mr Selwyn to music that is likely to result in complaints from every portrait within a hundred yards?”
Harry hesitated.
“Possibly, Professor.”
“I thought so.”
Adrian looked worried.
“Is that a problem?”
“Not necessarily, Mr Selwyn. Provided you remember that other people may not share your enthusiasm.”
“Of course, Professor.”
“And that Hogwarts is not a concert venue.”
“Yes, Professor.”
McGonagall’s expression softened almost imperceptibly.
“Although I suppose learning an instrument is a perfectly respectable ambition.”
Adrian brightened.
“Actually, Professor, I was thinking of learning the electric guitar.”
“How industrious.”
“Thank you.”
“Do consult Professor Flitwick before attempting to connect anything electrical to the castle.”
Hermione nodded immediately.
“I was going to suggest that, Professor.”
McGonagall looked at her.
“Naturally, Miss Granger.”
Then McGonagall noticed something else.
“Miss Malfoy.”
Draconia straightened.
“Yes, Professor?”
“Is that a Muggle telephone in your handbag?”
Draconia went completely still. Harry looked at Hermione. Hermione looked at Harry. Victoria’s eyes widened. Georgina made a small squeaking noise. Draconia lifted her chin.
“Yes, Professor.”
McGonagall raised an eyebrow.
“A telephone.”
“A mobile telephone, Professor.”
“I see.”
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