Slytherins, Kisses and Other Disasters
Copyright© 2026 by Caroline Stanton
Chapter 31: The Muggle Expedition
By Thursday evening, Harry Potter was beginning to regret introducing Victoria Crabbe to the Muggle world.
Not because their date had gone badly. Victoria had enjoyed it so much that she’d spent the week telling everyone about shopping centres, video games, and stairs that moved without magic.
Unfortunately, Georgina Goyle had been listening. So had Draconia Malfoy. And now Harry was facing the consequences.
“Saturday,” Georgina announced, standing in front of him with her arms folded.
Harry blinked. “What about Saturday?”
“You’re taking us.”
“Taking you where?”
“The mall, obviously.”
Harry looked at Victoria, who was standing beside Georgina with an expression of exaggerated innocence.
“Vic?”
“Hello, handsome.”
“Did you put her up to this?”
“Me? Never.”
Georgina grinned. “She’s been telling us about the place for a week. We’re going.” Harry looked helplessly towards Draconia. Surely Draconia, of all people, would consider a Muggle shopping centre beneath her dignity. Draconia smiled pleasantly. “I’ve become rather curious about the clothing shops.” Harry stared. “You too?”
“Potter, Victoria returned wearing a perfectly lovely dress that apparently cost considerably less than a comparable garment in Diagon Alley. I should like to investigate.”
Harry opened his mouth, then closed it. Victoria was trying very hard not to laugh.
“You’re enjoying this,” he told her.
“Immensely.”
Georgina leaned forward. “So? Saturday?” Harry sighed. “All right.” Georgina whooped. Draconia nodded approvingly, and Victoria threw her arms around Harry and kissed his cheek.
“You’re wonderful.”
Harry smiled despite himself. “Remember that when I’m carrying everyone’s shopping.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Georgina said. “Adrian’s coming.”
Harry blinked. “Adrian?”
“Of course. He’s my boyfriend.”
“Right.”
“And he’ll help carry things.”
Harry considered that. “That’s actually not a bad idea.” Draconia smiled. “Then it’s settled. Ten o’clock, entrance hall.” Harry looked at the three girls. He had a horrible feeling he’d just agreed to something considerably more complicated than he’d imagined. That evening, Harry found Hermione in the Gryffindor common room.
“Hermione?”
She looked up from her essay. “Yes, Harry?”
“I need your help.”
Her expression immediately became concerned. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong. It’s just...” He sat opposite her. “Remember when I took Victoria to that shopping centre?”
Hermione smiled. “Of course. She’s been talking about it all week.”
“Well, now Georgina and Draconia want to go.”
Hermione blinked. Then she started laughing. Harry sighed. “That’s exactly what Ron did.”
“I’m sorry!”
“No, you’re not.”
She laughed harder. Harry waited patiently until she recovered.
“So,” Hermione said, “you’re taking three Slytherin girls shopping in a Muggle town?”
“And Adrian.”
“Adrian Selwyn?”
“Yes.”
Hermione’s smile widened. “Oh, Harry.”
“What?”
“You’re going to be completely overwhelmed.”
“I know! That’s why I need you.”
“Me?”
“You’re Muggle-born. You know how everything works. And you know about clothes and shops and things.”
“Harry, you grew up in the Muggle world.”
“Yes, but I didn’t exactly spend my childhood going shopping for fun.”
Her expression softened.
“No,” she admitted. “I suppose you didn’t.”
“And Draconia’s coming.”
Hermione considered that.
“That does complicate matters.”
“Exactly!”
She smiled. “Are you asking me to come along?”
“Please.”
Hermione leaned back in her chair.
“Well, I suppose it might be interesting.”
Harry clasped his hands dramatically.
“Hermione Granger, you’re my only hope.”
She laughed.
“Oh, all right!”
Harry sagged with relief.
“Thank you.”
“But Harry?”
“Yes?”
“I am not spending the entire day carrying shopping bags.”
“Deal.”
At precisely ten o’clock on Saturday morning, Harry and Hermione were waiting in the Hogwarts entrance hall. Harry wore jeans, a dark jumper, and his usual jacket. Hermione had chosen a comfortable skirt, tights, boots, and a warm coat. She was carrying a small handbag. Harry eyed it suspiciously.
“What’s in there?”
“Money, a few things I might need, and a list.”
“A list?”
“Of shops we might visit.”
Harry closed his eyes.
“Oh, no.”
Hermione smiled. “I’ve planned a sensible route.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
Footsteps sounded on the staircase. Victoria appeared first. Harry smiled immediately. She wore black jeans, ankle boots, and a fitted burgundy jumper beneath her coat. Her long black hair fell loose over her shoulders, and the stainless-steel bracelet he’d given her gleamed at her wrist.
“Morning, handsome!”
“Morning, beautiful.”
She came down the last few steps and kissed him. Hermione smiled. “Good morning, Victoria.” Victoria turned.
“Hermione! You’re coming too?”
“Harry asked me to help.”
“Oh, brilliant!”
Victoria hugged her before Hermione could react. Hermione looked startled, then smiled and returned the embrace.
“I’m glad you’re pleased.”
“Of course I am! You’ll love it. They’ve got these moving stairs—”
“Escalators.”
“Yes! Those! Bloody brilliant!”
Hermione laughed. “I’ve used escalators before.” Victoria stared at her.
“You have?”
“Many times.”
“Bloody hell. You Muggle-borns have all the fun.”
Harry laughed. Georgina and Adrian arrived next, holding hands. Georgina wore dark jeans, a cream-coloured jumper, and a fitted coat. Her long brown hair fell in loose waves over her shoulders. Adrian had chosen dark trousers, a charcoal jumper, and a black jacket.
“Morning!” Georgina called.
Victoria grinned. “Georgie!” The girls embraced. Adrian smiled at Harry.
“Morning, Harry.”
“Morning. Ready for this?”
Adrian glanced at Georgina.
“Not remotely.”
Harry laughed.
“That makes two of us.”
Georgina looked around.
“Where’s Draco?”
Victoria glanced at the clock.
“Two minutes to ten.”
Georgina grinned. “She’ll be here at exactly ten.” Sure enough, as the clock struck, Draconia Malfoy appeared at the top of the staircase. She descended with her customary unhurried elegance, blonde hair neatly arranged, wearing a fitted black coat over a pale blouse, a dark skirt, tights, and polished ankle boots. A small leather handbag hung from her shoulder. She looked as though she were preparing to attend a fashionable luncheon.
“Good morning,” she announced.
Georgina grinned. “Right on time.”
“Naturally.”
Draconia surveyed the group.
“Potter. Granger. Selwyn.”
Harry nodded. “Morning, Malfoy.” Hermione smiled politely.
“Good morning, Draconia.”
Draconia regarded her for a moment. Then inclined her head.
“Good morning, Hermione.”
Harry noticed the use of her first name. So did Victoria. Neither commented. Draconia turned towards Harry.
“I trust you’ve arranged suitable transportation.”
“Yes.”
“And the shopping centre is reasonably respectable?”
“Very.”
“Clothing shops?”
“Loads.”
“Shoe shops?”
“Yes.”
“Bookshops?”
“Yes.”
“Places to eat?”
“Yes, Malfoy.”
“Excellent.”
Hermione stepped forward.
“Before we leave, a few things. First, absolutely no magic in public.”
Victoria nodded.
“Obviously.”
“Second, try not to draw unnecessary attention to yourselves.”
Draconia raised an eyebrow.
“Granger, I assure you I am perfectly capable of behaving appropriately in public.”
Hermione smiled.
“I’m sure you are.”
Georgina whispered to Victoria, “She says that now.” Victoria snorted. Draconia gave them a look.
“And third,” Hermione continued, “if anyone gets separated, we meet at the main entrance of the shopping centre.”
“See? This is why I brought her.”
“You’re welcome.”
An hour later, Draconia Malfoy was standing in front of a glass lift, reconsidering several of her assumptions about Muggles.
“Extraordinary,” she murmured.
Hermione smiled.
“It’s just a lift.”
“Granger, I am perfectly aware of what a lift is. The Ministry has them.”
“Of course.”
“But this one is made of glass.”
“Yes.”
“And you can see the entire building while it moves?”
“Exactly.”
Draconia watched the lift ascend.
“How curious.”
Victoria grinned.
“Wait until you try the escalators.”
“I’ve already seen the escalators, Victoria.”
“Seeing isn’t the same as riding.”
Draconia gave her a patient look.
“I assure you, I can survive the experience.”
Georgina, meanwhile, had discovered the food court.
“Adrian!”
“Yes?”
“Look at all those places!”
Adrian smiled.
“Quite a few.”
“What’s that one?”
“Pizza, I think.”
“And that?”
“Chinese food.”
“And that?”
Harry laughed.
“Georgie, we’ll get lunch later.”
She looked disappointed.
“But—”
“Later.”
Victoria threw an arm around her friend’s shoulders.
“Come on. Wait until you see the clothes shops.”
The first hour passed in a whirl of discoveries. Georgina was fascinated by the sheer variety of clothing. She tried on three jackets, two skirts, and a pair of boots that Adrian declared looked wonderful. Victoria discovered that the electronics shop had several new video games. She immediately challenged Harry to a race. He lost. Badly.
“YES!” Victoria shouted, raising both arms.
Harry laughed.
“You’ve been practising.”
“Of course I have.”
“How?”
“Mentally.”
“Vic, that’s not how video games work.”
She grinned.
“Apparently it is.”
Hermione had to intervene when Georgina asked whether she could buy an electric kettle and take it back to Hogwarts.
“Why not?”
“Because you need electricity.”
“What’s electricity?”
Hermione took a deep breath. Harry grinned.
“Your turn.”
She gave him a look. Draconia, however, was proving the greatest surprise. She approached every unfamiliar object with the cool interest of someone examining an ingenious but slightly eccentric magical artefact. She inspected watches, handbags, cosmetics, shoes, and jewellery. She was particularly impressed by a shop selling inexpensive but attractive accessories.
“These are remarkably well made,” she observed, examining a silver-coloured necklace.
Hermione nodded.
“Some Muggle manufacturers are very good.”
“And the prices are absurdly low.”
“Well, compared with some wizarding shops.”
Draconia considered.
“I begin to see why Victoria was so enthusiastic.”
“Told you.”
By noon, the group had reached the second floor. They stopped outside a large clothing shop. Georgina stared at the window display.
“Oh, I love that coat.”
Adrian smiled.
“Want to look?”
“Absolutely.”
Victoria glanced towards another shop.
“Harry, can we go in there afterward?”
“Of course.”
Hermione checked her watch.
“We’ve got plenty of time.”
Draconia, meanwhile, had noticed a small boutique farther along the corridor. Its window displayed a beautifully tailored cream jacket with dark piping and elegant buttons. She stopped. That was lovely. She glanced back at the others. Georgina was already pulling Adrian into the clothing shop. Victoria was showing Harry something in another window, and Hermione had stopped to examine a directory. Draconia looked towards the boutique again. It was only a short distance away.
She could take a quick look and return before anyone noticed. Reasonable. She walked towards it. Twenty minutes later, Draconia Malfoy discovered that Muggle shopping centres possessed one truly objectionable characteristic. They were unnecessarily large. She had examined the cream jacket, decided it was rather overpriced, and stepped out of the boutique intending to return to her friends. Unfortunately, she had taken the wrong exit.
Now she stood in a corridor that looked almost identical to the one she’d left, except that none of the shops were familiar. She turned left. Then right. Then descended an escalator. That, she discovered, was a mistake. The ground floor looked even less familiar. Draconia stopped beside a large decorative fountain. She glanced around. No Victoria. No Georgina. No Adrian. No Potter. No Granger. She took a slow breath.
“Wonderful.”
A family passed, pushing a pram. Two teenage girls hurried past carrying shopping bags. Somewhere nearby, music was playing. Draconia examined the signs overhead. North Entrance. Car Park. Food Court. Customer Services. She frowned. What, exactly, was a car park? And why did a building need so many entrances? She considered returning to the escalator, but there were two of them, and she wasn’t entirely certain which one she’d used. She was beginning to understand why Hermione had insisted on establishing a meeting point.
Unfortunately, Hermione had specified the main entrance. Draconia wasn’t sure where that was either.
“Bloody marvellous,” she muttered.
“Are you all right?”
Draconia turned. A boy stood a few feet away. He looked about seventeen, tall and broad-shouldered, with thick dark-brown hair, clear blue eyes, and a smile that was almost unfairly attractive. He wore jeans, trainers, and a dark-blue jacket over a white T-shirt. He was carrying a small shopping bag. Draconia stared at him for a fraction of a second longer than she intended. Then recovered.
“Of course.”
The boy smiled.
“Sorry. You just looked a bit lost.”
Draconia drew herself up.
“I am not lost.”
“Right.”
He glanced at the directory behind her.
“Just studying the map?”
“Precisely.”
His smile widened.
“Fair enough.”
He started to walk away. Draconia looked at the signs again. Then closed her eyes briefly.
“Wait.”
The boy stopped. She turned towards him.
“Perhaps I am ... temporarily uncertain of my location.”
“That’s a very posh way of saying you’re lost.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Nothing. Sorry.”
He smiled again.
“Where are you trying to go?”
Draconia hesitated.
“The main entrance.”
“Which one?”
She stared.
“There is more than one?”
“Three, actually.”
Draconia looked heavenward.
“Of course there are.”
The boy laughed.
“Are you meeting someone?”
“Yes. My friends.”
“Right. Did they say which entrance?”
“The main one.”
“Ah. They probably mean the big entrance near the central atrium.”
Draconia considered.
“That sounds plausible.”
“Come on. I’ll show you.”
She hesitated. The boy seemed perfectly harmless. More importantly, he seemed to know where he was going.
“Very well.”
He smiled.
“I’m Alex, by the way.”
“Draconia.”
He blinked.
“Draconia?”
“Yes.”
“That’s an unusual name.”
She raised her chin.
“It’s a family name.”
“Nice, though.”
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