Slytherins, Kisses and Other Disasters
Copyright© 2026 by Caroline Stanton
Chapter 30: A Whole New World
Harry Potter had been thinking about his next date with Victoria for three days. Hogsmeade was lovely, of course. They could visit Honeydukes, have lunch at the Three Broomsticks, browse the shops, or walk together. But they’d already done those things, and Harry wanted to surprise her. Something different. Something she wouldn’t expect. The idea came to him during breakfast on Wednesday.
Victoria was telling him about an argument she’d had with a fourth-year Slytherin who insisted that Muggle technology was useless because magic could accomplish anything a machine could do.
“Bloody idiot,” she said, buttering her toast. “He was going on about how Muggles are all helpless without magic.”
“What did you say?”
“Told him if Muggles were so bloody helpless, he should try living a week without anything they’d invented.”
Harry laughed. Victoria grinned.
“That shut him up.”
“Have you ever actually been to the Muggle world?”
Victoria looked at him.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean properly. Not just passing through King’s Cross or something.”
She considered.
“No.”
“Never?”
“Harry, both my parents are pure-bloods. My grandparents too. I’ve been to Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, and about a dozen wizarding villages. But I’ve never had any reason to visit a Muggle town.”
Harry stared at her.
“Not even to go shopping?”
“Shopping for what? A television?”
“Why not?”
“Because I haven’t the faintest bloody idea how one works.”
Harry smiled. Then an idea began to form.
“Vic?”
“What are you doing on Saturday?”
“Going out with my boyfriend, I hope.”
Harry grinned.
“Good answer.”
“Why?”
“I want to take you somewhere.”
“Where?”
“It’s a surprise.”
Victoria narrowed her eyes.
“Potter.”
Harry smiled innocently.
“Crabbe.”
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
She studied him for a moment. Then grinned.
“All right. But if you’re taking me somewhere dangerous, you’d better let me bring my Beater’s bat.”
Harry laughed.
“Trust me. You won’t need it.”
Saturday morning arrived cold and bright. Harry had arranged permission for a day outside the usual Hogsmeade visit, which had required a surprisingly lengthy conversation with Professor McGonagall.
“A Muggle shopping centre, Potter?”
“Yes, Professor.”
“With Miss Crabbe?”
“Yes, Professor.”
McGonagall regarded him over her spectacles.
“Does Miss Crabbe understand where you’re taking her?”
“Not yet. It’s a surprise.”
McGonagall’s lips twitched.
“I see.”
She considered for a moment.
“Very well. Provided you remain together, behave responsibly, and return before the agreed time.”
“Thank you, Professor!”
“And Potter?”
“Yes?”
“Try not to introduce Miss Crabbe to anything that might require intervention by the Ministry of Magic.”
Harry laughed nervously.
“I’ll try.”
McGonagall sighed.
“Somehow, that does not entirely reassure me.”
Victoria met him in the entrance hall at ten o’clock. She wore black jeans, ankle boots, and a fitted dark-green jumper beneath her coat. Her long black hair fell loose over her shoulders, and Harry’s bracelet gleamed on her wrist. Harry smiled.
“Morning, beautiful.”
Victoria grinned.
“Morning, handsome.”
She kissed him. Then stepped back.
“Right. Where are we going?”
Harry took her hand.
“First, we’re taking a little trip.”
“Where?”
“You’ll see.”
“Harry.”
“Vic.”
She laughed.
“You’re enjoying this far too much.”
“Possibly.”
They travelled with the help of an arranged Portkey to a discreet location near a Muggle town, then walked towards its shopping district. Victoria looked around with growing curiosity. Cars passed along the road. Traffic lights changed from red to green. People hurried along the pavements carrying shopping bags, talking into mobile phones, or pushing prams. Victoria stared at a passing bus.
“Bloody hell.”
Harry smiled.
“What?”
“That thing’s enormous.”
“It’s a bus.”
“I know what a bus is, Harry. I’ve seen pictures.”
“Have you ever ridden one?”
“No.”
Harry grinned.
“Maybe next time.”
Victoria looked at the traffic.
“How do they stop them crashing into each other?”
“Traffic rules. Lights. Road signs.”
She watched a car stop at a red light.
“All without magic?”
“All without magic.”
Victoria shook her head.
“That’s actually rather impressive.”
“Wait until you see where we’re going.”
The shopping centre stood at the end of a broad pedestrian square. It was a huge modern building of glass and steel, with several floors, enormous windows, and revolving doors at the entrance. Victoria stopped dead.
“What the bloody hell is that?”
Harry grinned.
“A shopping mall.”
She stared up at it.
“That’s a shop?”
“Lots of shops.”
“How many?”
“Dozens. Maybe a hundred.”
Victoria looked at him.
“You’re taking the piss.”
“Nope.”
She looked back at the building.
“All in there?”
“All in there.”
“Bloody hell.”
Harry laughed.
“Come on.”
They approached the entrance. Victoria eyed the revolving doors suspiciously.
“What’s that?”
“A revolving door.”
“Why’s it moving?”
“So people can go through.”
She watched a woman enter one compartment and emerge on the other side. Victoria frowned.
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Want to try?”
She gave him a look.
“Potter, I’ve fought Bludgers travelling at a hundred miles an hour. I think I can manage a bloody door.”
She stepped inside. The door rotated. Victoria moved too slowly, bumped lightly against the glass, and stumbled forward. Harry caught her arm. She stared at the door. Then at Harry.
“That thing attacked me.”
Harry laughed. Victoria pointed at it.
“I’m serious!”
“It’s a door, Vic!”
“It’s a bloody dangerous door!”
Harry was laughing so hard he could barely breathe. Victoria glared at him. Then started laughing too.
“All right, all right. Very funny.”
She grabbed his hand.
“Come on, before I hex the bloody thing.”
Inside, Victoria stopped again.
The shopping centre stretched before her in a vast, brightly lit space. Shops lined both sides of a broad walkway. Glass railings overlooked the lower floors. Music played softly from hidden speakers. People moved in every direction, carrying bags, chatting, laughing, and examining displays.
And in the middle of it all were the escalators. Victoria stared.
“Harry.”
“Yeah?”
“Those stairs are moving.”
Harry smiled.
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“So people don’t have to climb them.”
She stared at him.
“You’re joking.”
“No.”
“People invented moving stairs because they couldn’t be bothered to walk?”
Harry laughed.
“Pretty much.”
Victoria shook her head in admiration.
“Bloody brilliant.”
He grinned.
“Want to try?”
She eyed the escalator.
“Does it bite?”
“Only if you insult it.”
She laughed.
“Funny bastard.”
They approached. Victoria watched the moving steps carefully. Then stepped onto one. For half a second, she looked startled. Then delighted.
“Harry!”
He stepped on behind her.
“What?”
“I’m moving!”
“Yes, Vic.”
“Without walking!”
“That’s the idea.”
She looked down at the moving steps.
“This is fantastic!”
A little boy standing farther up the escalator turned to stare at her. Victoria grinned at him.
“First time.”
The boy nodded solemnly.
“Cool.”
Victoria laughed. At the top, Harry guided her off. She immediately turned around.
“Can we do it again?”
Harry stared.
“Seriously?”
“Yes!”
“Vic, we’ve got an entire shopping centre to explore.”
She looked disappointed.
“Later?”
Harry smiled.
“Later.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Their first stop was an electronics shop. Harry had barely stepped inside before Victoria was staring at a wall of enormous televisions.
“What are those?”
“Televisions.”
“All of them?”
“Yep.”
She approached one displaying a nature documentary. A lion was stalking across an African savannah. Victoria stared.
“Bloody hell.”
Harry smiled.
“What?”
“It’s like a moving photograph.”
“Sort of.”
“But it’s enormous.”
“Yes.”
“And it’s showing something happening somewhere else?”
“Well, it was recorded earlier.”
Victoria frowned.
“Recorded?”
Harry began explaining. Five minutes later, Victoria had decided that Muggle televisions were more complicated than wizarding photographs, but also rather more interesting. Then she discovered the video game section. A group of teenagers were playing a racing game on a large screen. Victoria watched for approximately thirty seconds. Then turned to Harry.
“What’s that?”
“A video game.”
“What does it do?”
“You control what’s happening on the screen.”
She stared.
“You’re joking.”
“Nope.”
One of the teenagers offered her the controller.
“Want a go?”
Victoria looked at Harry. He grinned.
“Go on.”
She accepted the controller.
“Right. How does this work?”
The teenager showed her the buttons. Victoria listened carefully. Then began driving. Within fifteen seconds, her car had crashed into a wall.
“FUCK!”
Several people turned. Harry covered his mouth. Victoria stared at the screen.
“That bloody thing didn’t turn!”
The teenager laughed.
“You have to steer.”
“I WAS STEERING!”
Harry was shaking with laughter. Victoria glared at him.
“Don’t you start.”
Five minutes later, she’d improved considerably. Ten minutes later, she was overtaking the teenager who’d shown her how to play. Fifteen minutes later, she won the race. She threw both arms into the air.
“YES!”
Harry applauded. Victoria turned towards him, absolutely delighted.
“Harry! Did you see that?”
“I did!”
“I bloody won!”
The teenager grinned.
“You’re pretty good.”
Victoria smiled proudly.
“Thanks.”
Harry took her hand.
“Come on, champion.”
“Can we get one of those?”
“We’ll talk about it.”
Next came a clothing shop. Victoria stopped in front of a display of jeans, skirts, jumpers, and jackets.
“These are Muggle clothes?”
“Yep.”
She examined a pair of jeans.
“They’re not that different from ours.”
Harry smiled.
“Most wizarding clothes aren’t that different when you’re not wearing robes.”
Victoria nodded. Then noticed a row of dresses. She looked at them thoughtfully. Harry followed her gaze.
“Want to try something on?”
She hesitated.
“Maybe.”
He smiled.
“Go on.”
Victoria selected a dark-red dress with a simple fitted waist and a skirt that fell just above her knees. She disappeared into a changing room. Harry waited outside. A few minutes later, the curtain opened. Victoria stepped out.
“Well?”
Harry stared. She looked beautiful. The dress suited her figure perfectly, and the colour contrasted wonderfully with her black hair. Victoria shifted nervously.
“Harry?”
He smiled.
“Wow.”
She blushed.
“Good wow?”
“Very good wow.”
Victoria looked down at herself.
“Really?”
“Really.”
Harry watched Victoria smile at herself in the mirror. She caught his reflection.
“What?”
Harry smiled.
“Nothing.”
She turned.
“Harry.”
He stepped closer.
“You look beautiful, Vic.”
Her smile softened.
“Thanks.”
She glanced at the price tag. Then frowned.
“How much is that in Galleons?”
“Never mind.”
“Harry—”
“I want to buy it for you.”
Victoria stared.
“What?”
“As a present.”
She shook her head immediately.
“No, Harry. You already bought me the bracelet.”
“I know.”
“And I love it.”
“I know.”
She looked at the dress. Then back at him.
“Harry, you don’t have to keep buying me things.”
“I know I don’t have to.”
She hesitated. He took her hand.
“I want to.”
Victoria looked at him for a long moment. Then smiled.
“All right.”
She kissed his cheek.
“Thank you.”
By lunchtime, Victoria had discovered three things. First, Muggles were far more inventive than she’d ever imagined. Second, escalators were one of the greatest inventions in human history. And third, shopping centres contained an astonishing number of places to eat. She stood in the food court, staring at the signs.
“Harry.”
“Yeah?”
“What’s a burger?”
He grinned.
“You’re about to find out.”
They ordered hamburgers, chips, and soft drinks. Victoria examined her meal with interest.
“So you just eat it with your hands?”
“Yep.”
She picked up the burger. Took a bite. Chewed. Then closed her eyes.
“Oh, bloody hell.”
Harry laughed.
“Good?”
She swallowed.
“Harry Potter.”
“Yeah?”
“Why have you been keeping these things from me?”
He burst out laughing. Victoria took another bite.
“This is bloody fantastic!”
Harry grinned.
“Glad you like it.”
She pointed at the chips.
“And these?”
“Chips.”
She tried one. Then another. Then several more.
“Merlin.”
Harry laughed. Victoria shook her head.
“Right. That’s it. I’m moving to the Muggle world.”
Harry nearly choked on his drink. After lunch, they visited a bookshop. Victoria was delighted to discover that Muggles had entire sections devoted to romance novels. She examined several covers, laughing at the dramatic poses.
“Harry, look at this one!”
He glanced over. A muscular man stood shirtless on a windswept cliff, holding a woman in a flowing dress. Harry grinned.
“Looks a bit uncomfortable.”
Victoria laughed.
“He’s probably freezing his bollocks off.”
By the time Harry and Victoria returned to Hogwarts, the sun was beginning to disappear behind the hills. Victoria was carrying two shopping bags and wearing an expression of such extraordinary happiness that Harry suspected she might start laughing for no particular reason. In fact, she already had. Three times.
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