Slytherins, Kisses and Other Disasters
Copyright© 2026 by Caroline Stanton
Chapter 16: The Gryffindor Tribunal
Harry Potter was in an exceptionally good mood when he reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.
He’d spent the entire afternoon with Victoria Crabbe, and the experience had been better than anything he’d dared hope for. They’d laughed, talked, wandered through Hogsmeade, and shared a bench where she’d rested her head against his shoulder. He’d bought her a bracelet, a simple little thing that had cost him three Sickles and eight Knuts, and she’d looked at it as though he’d given her something worth a hundred Galleons.
And at the end of the evening, she’d hugged him. Harry was still smiling about that. He gave the password, waited for the portrait to swing open, and climbed through. Then he stopped. The Gryffindor common room was full. That wasn’t particularly unusual on a Saturday evening. What was unusual was that practically everyone appeared to be looking directly at him.
Ron and Hermione occupied the sofa nearest the fireplace. Ginny sat on its arm, while Fred and George had taken possession of two chairs opposite. Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Neville Longbottom, and several other sixth-years were gathered nearby. Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil were sitting together, whispering excitedly.
There were students from every year, including a considerable number who had apparently abandoned their homework to witness whatever was about to happen. Harry looked around. Nobody spoke. Then Fred Weasley rose solemnly.
“Ladies and gentlemen.”
Harry closed his eyes.
“Oh, no.”
George stood beside his brother.
“At long last, the guest of honour has arrived.”
Fred spread his arms.
“Harry James Potter!”
The common room erupted into applause. Harry stared.
“What the bloody hell?”
Ron was laughing so hard that he had to bend forward. Hermione had one hand over her face, although Harry could see she was smiling. Ginny was grinning openly. Fred raised a hand for silence.
“The first Gryffindor in living memory—”
“Possibly in recorded history,” George added.
“—to take Victoria Crabbe on a romantic excursion to Hogsmeade!”
Another round of applause followed. Someone whistled. Harry looked towards the portrait hole. For one brief moment, he considered leaving. George noticed.
“Oh, no, you don’t.”
Fred moved to block his retreat.
“We have questions.”
“Many questions.”
“Important questions.”
“Questions of considerable historical significance.”
“I’m going to bed.”
“No, you’re not,” Ron said, still laughing.
Harry turned towards him.
“You’re supposed to be my best friend.”
“I am.”
“Then help me.”
Ron grinned.
“Not a chance.”
Harry was escorted to an empty armchair facing the fireplace. He sat down reluctantly. Fred and George took up positions on either side of him. Harry looked at Hermione.
“Did you know about this?”
Hermione sighed.
“I suggested that everyone leave you alone.”
Harry felt a moment of gratitude.
“Thank you.”
“Unfortunately,” she continued, “nobody listened.”
Ginny laughed.
“To be fair, Hermione, you also said you wanted to know how it went.”
“Privately, Ginny.”
Fred nodded gravely.
“An understandable preference.”
George gestured towards the crowded room.
“Unfortunately, the public interest is simply too great.”
Harry looked around.
“You’re all completely mad.”
“Quite possibly,” Fred agreed. “Now, first question.”
Harry groaned.
“How was your date?”
Every face turned towards him. Harry hesitated. Then, despite himself, smiled.
“It was wonderful.”
The common room erupted.
“Wonderful?” Ron repeated.
Harry looked at him.
“Yes.”
“With Crabbe?”
Harry’s smile faded slightly.
“With Victoria.”
Ron blinked. Harry continued, “Her name’s Victoria.” Fred slowly turned towards George. George slowly turned towards Fred. Both grinned.
“Oh, this is serious,” Fred announced.
“First-name terms already,” George agreed.
Harry rolled his eyes. Ginny leaned forward.
“Ignore them. Did you really have a good time?”
Harry looked at her.
“Yes. I did.”
“Good.”
Hermione studied his expression.
“You look happy.”
Harry nodded.
“I am.”
That produced another round of delighted murmurs. Ron shook his head.
“I still can’t believe it.”
Harry looked at him.
“What?”
“That you actually went out with her.”
Harry sighed.
“Ron, you saw us leave together.”
“I know. I was there. I saw the whole thing.”
“Then what’s so difficult to believe?”
Ron opened his mouth. Closed it. Then gestured helplessly.
“It’s Crabbe!”
Harry gave him a look.
“Victoria.”
Ron stared.
“You’re going to keep correcting me, aren’t you?”
“Probably.”
George leaned towards Fred.
“Definitely serious.”
Fred nodded.
“Terminal, I’d say.”
Lavender leaned forward.
“Where did you take her?”
“The Three Broomsticks.”
Parvati smiled.
“Good choice.”
“Did you buy her butterbeer?”
“Yes.”
“Did you talk?”
Harry stared at her.
“No. We sat in complete silence for an hour.”
Several people laughed. Parvati grinned.
“All right, fair enough.”
“What did you talk about?”
“Quidditch, mostly. At first.”
“Well, that makes sense.”
“Then other things.”
Lavender’s eyes brightened.
“What other things?”
Harry hesitated.
“Just ... things.”
Fred leaned forward.
“Very informative.”
George nodded.
“Extraordinary detail.”
Harry gave them an irritated look.
“Do you two ever stop?”
“No,” they answered together.
Seamus raised his hand. Harry stared.
“Why are you raising your hand?”
Seamus shrugged.
“Thought we were doing this properly.”
Several people laughed. Harry sighed.
“Go on.”
Seamus grinned.
“Was she as scary as usual?”
Harry considered. Then shook his head.
“No.”
Ron looked astonished.
“Really?”
Harry smiled.
“She was nervous.”
Silence. Then Neville spoke.
“Victoria Crabbe was nervous?”
Harry nodded.
“Yes.”
Fred stared. George stared. Dean whistled softly.
“Blimey.”
“So was I.”
Hermione smiled.
“Well, of course you were. It was your first date.”
Harry nodded.
“Exactly.”
Ginny tilted her head.
“And hers too?”
“Yes.”
That caused a fresh stir. Lavender looked genuinely surprised.
“Really? She’s never been on a date?”
Harry shook his head.
“No.”
Parvati frowned.
“But she’s beautiful.”
Harry smiled.
“I know.”
Ron made a strangled noise. Fred clutched his chest. George staggered backward.
“Oh, Merlin,” Fred whispered.
“He’s got it badly,” George agreed.
Harry threw a cushion at them. Ginny waited until the laughter subsided.
“So what was she like?”
Harry looked at her.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean when you were alone together. Without Malfoy, without Georgina, without everyone watching.”
Harry considered the question. Then smiled.
“Funny.”
Ron blinked.
“Funny?”
“Yes.”
“Crabbe?”
“Victoria.”
Ron groaned. Harry continued.
“She’s actually very funny. She makes these remarks without even seeming to realise how amusing they are.”
Ginny smiled.
“That sounds rather nice.”
“It was.”
Harry looked towards the fireplace.
“And she’s cleverer than people give her credit for.”
Hermione raised an eyebrow.
“Oh?”
“Especially about Quidditch. She knows the game inside out.”
Ron nodded reluctantly.
“Well, she’s a good Beater.”
“She’s an excellent Beater,” Harry corrected.
Ron stared. Harry shrugged.
“She is.”
Fred leaned forward.
“Harry, are you aware that you’re praising a Slytherin?”
“Yes.”
“Voluntarily?”
“Yes.”
“Without being threatened?”
“Yes, Fred.”
George shook his head.
“The world is changing.”
Neville, who had been listening quietly, spoke up.
“Did she seem happy?”
Harry turned towards him. The question was so straightforward that it caught him slightly off guard.
“Yes.”
Neville smiled.
“Good.”
Harry looked at him for a moment. Then smiled back.
“Thanks, Neville.”
Neville shrugged.
“Well, she looked happy when you left this morning.”
Ginny nodded.
“She did.”
Harry remembered the entrance hall, Victoria descending the stairs in her red jumper and black skirt, her dark hair falling over her shoulders, and the way she’d smiled when she saw him. He smiled to himself. Unfortunately, Lavender noticed.
“Look at his face!”
Harry blinked.
“What?”
“He’s thinking about her!”
The common room erupted again. Harry covered his eyes.
“Oh, for Merlin’s sake.”
Fred clapped his hands.
“Right. Enough preliminaries.”
George nodded.
“We now come to the important part.”
Harry looked up warily.
“What important part?”
Fred leaned closer.
“Did you kiss her?”
The room fell silent. Harry stared. Then felt his face grow hot.
“No.”
A collective groan rose from the assembled Gryffindors. Fred looked devastated. George shook his head.
“Harry.”
Harry frowned.
“What?”
“An entire afternoon.”
“Hours together.”
“A beautiful girl.”
“A romantic village.”
“And not even a kiss?”
Harry stared at them.
“It was our first date!”
Fred nodded.
“Precisely.”
George sighed.
“Such wasted opportunities.”
Ginny rolled her eyes.
“Oh, leave him alone.”
“Honestly. There’s no rule saying you have to kiss someone on the first date.”
“Thank you,” Harry said.
Ron looked relieved.
“Good. Because the idea of Harry kissing Crabbe is going to take some getting used to.”
Harry gave him an exasperated look.
“Ron.”
“What?”
“Victoria.”
Ron threw up his hands.
“ALL RIGHT!”
Parvati leaned forward.
“Did you at least hold hands?”
Harry smiled.
“Yes.”
Lavender clasped her hands together.
“Oh, that’s sweet.”
Fred looked thoughtful.
“Anything else?”
Harry hesitated. That was a mistake. George noticed immediately.
“There was!”
Fred leaned forward.
“What happened?”
“We hugged.”
Several girls made delighted noises. Ginny smiled.
“That’s lovely.”
Hermione nodded.
“Yes, it is.”
Fred considered.
“Who hugged whom?”
Harry looked at him.
“Does it matter?”
“Absolutely.”
George nodded.
“Vital information.”
Harry hesitated. Then admitted, “She hugged me.” There was a moment of stunned silence. Then Ron sat bolt upright.
“She did WHAT?”
Harry laughed.
“She hugged me.”
“Victoria Crabbe?”
“Yes.”
“Voluntarily?”
Harry stared at him.
“No, Ron. I used the Imperius Curse.”
The room laughed. Ron shook his head.
“I just can’t picture it.”
Harry smiled.
“Well, it happened.”
Hermione leaned forward.
“Harry, may I ask something?”
“Of course.”
“Did you feel comfortable with her?”
“At first, not entirely. We were both nervous.”
Hermione nodded.
“And afterward?”
Harry smiled.
“Yes.”
She watched him.
“Really comfortable?”
Harry nodded.
“Yes. We could talk about anything. We disagreed about Quidditch, made jokes, laughed...”
He hesitated. Then shrugged.
“It just felt right.”
“I’m glad.”
Harry looked at her.
“Thanks.”
She nodded.
“And I’m glad she enjoyed herself too.”
“She did.”
Dean leaned forward.
“Hang on. There’s something else.”
Harry looked at him.
“What?”
“I heard you bought her jewellery.”
Harry blinked.
“How did you hear that?”
Dean grinned.
“Someone saw you in a shop.”
Harry stared.
“Already?”
Seamus laughed.
“Mate, half the school knows about your date.”
Fred nodded.
“The Hogsmeade intelligence network is remarkably efficient.”
George added, “We should consider hiring them.” Harry shook his head.
“Unbelievable.”
Lavender leaned forward.
“So you did buy her jewellery?”
Harry sighed.
“Yes.”
The room erupted.
“What did you buy?”
“A bracelet.”
“What kind?”
“Just a little steel one.”
“Was it expensive?”
“No.”
“How much?”
Harry hesitated.
“Three Sickles and eight Knuts.”
Fred stared. George stared. Then Fred slowly nodded.
“An economical romantic gesture.”
George smiled.
“Very sensible.”
Harry rolled his eyes.
“It wasn’t about the money.”
Hermione smiled.
“Of course it wasn’t.”
Harry looked at her.
“She saw it in the window. She liked it. So I bought it for her.”
Ginny’s expression softened.
“That’s really sweet, Harry.”
He shrugged.
“It was just a little bracelet.”
Hermione shook her head.
“That doesn’t matter.”
Harry looked at her.
“She seemed to think so too.”
He smiled.
“She kept looking at it all afternoon.”
Lavender sighed.
“Oh, that’s adorable.”
Harry felt himself blushing again. Ron leaned back on the sofa.
“All right.”
Harry looked at him.
“What?”
Ron studied him.
“You’re serious about her.”
Harry hesitated. Then nodded.
“Yes.”
The common room quieted slightly. Ron frowned.
“But she’s been our enemy for years.”
“I know.”
“She’s helped Malfoy bully us.”
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