Slytherins, Kisses and Other Disasters
Copyright© 2026 by Caroline Stanton
Chapter 1: Beautiful
Victoria Crabbe was having a decent afternoon until Harry Potter decided to ruin it.
She was standing near one of the tall windows on the third floor, looking out over the grounds. Draconia had gone to speak with Professor Snape, and Georgina had disappeared into the library to finish an assignment she’d been putting off for three days. Victoria had finished hers that morning, mostly by copying Georgina’s notes.
For once, she had nowhere she needed to be and nobody bothering her. Then someone spoke behind her.
“Victoria?”
She turned sharply.
“What?”
Harry Potter stood a few feet away, looking less confident than he usually did when they encountered each other. Victoria narrowed her eyes.
“What do you want, Potter?”
“Can I talk to you?”
“You’re talking.”
“I mean, properly.”
She folded her arms. At nearly six feet tall, with broad shoulders developed through years of Quidditch, Victoria had learned that she could intimidate most boys by looking at them. Potter was shorter than she was, although he had never seemed particularly frightened of her.
“Where’s Weasley? Hiding around the corner?”
“No.”
“Granger?”
“No.”
“Then what’s this about?”
Harry hesitated. Victoria’s patience, never particularly abundant, began running out.
“Look, Potter, if you’ve got something to say, spit it out. Otherwise, piss off.”
Harry looked directly at her.
“I think you’re beautiful.”
For a moment, Victoria simply stared. She had been expecting an insult, a challenge, perhaps some ridiculous Gryffindor attempt to provoke her into a fight. She had not been expecting that.
“What?”
“I said I think you’re beautiful.”
Victoria blinked. Then she laughed. It was a loud, thoroughly unladylike laugh that echoed along the empty corridor.
“Oh, that’s good! That’s bloody good!”
Harry didn’t laugh. Victoria looked at him again, waiting for the punchline.
“Who put you up to this? Weasley?”
“Nobody.”
“Right. And I’m the Queen of England.”
“I’m serious.”
That only made her laugh harder.
“Merlin, Potter, you really are desperate, aren’t you? What’s wrong? Did Chang tell you to get lost? Couldn’t find yourself a nice little Gryffindor girl?”
Harry’s expression tightened slightly, but he didn’t retreat.
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“Then you’ve gone mental.”
“Maybe.”
She snorted.
“Well, thanks for the laugh. Now bugger off.”
She turned back towards the window, expecting him to leave. He didn’t.
“Victoria.”
“Oh, for—what now?”
“I meant it.”
Something in his voice made her turn again. Harry was watching her steadily. There was no smirk, no concealed amusement, none of the usual hostility she associated with him.
“I think you’re beautiful,” he repeated. “And I think there’s a wonderful person underneath that hard shell of yours.”
Victoria stared at him. Then her expression hardened.
“You don’t know a bloody thing about me.”
“Not much,” Harry admitted.
“Then don’t go making stupid assumptions.”
“Maybe I am.”
“You definitely are.”
“But I’d like to find out.”
That stopped her for half a second. She recovered quickly.
“Find out what? How hard I can hit you?”
Harry gave a small smile.
“That, I already know. I’ve seen you play Quidditch.”
Victoria almost smiled herself, but caught it in time.
“You’re an idiot, Potter.”
“Could be.”
“And if this is some kind of joke, I’ll break your nose.”
“It’s not a joke.”
He said it so simply that she couldn’t immediately think of a reply. Harry glanced towards the staircase.
“Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say.”
Victoria frowned.
“What?”
“I just wanted you to know.”
He turned and began walking away. She watched him take several steps before finding her voice.
“Oi! Potter!”
He stopped and looked back.
“What?”
“You’re bloody weird, you know that?”
Harry smiled.
“I’ve been told.”
Then he continued down the corridor and disappeared around the corner. Victoria remained where she was. For several seconds, she stared at the place where he’d vanished. Then she shook her head.
“Bloody Gryffindors.”
She turned back to the window. A moment later, she frowned. Beautiful? What the hell had Potter been smoking? By dinner, Victoria had decided the whole thing was too ridiculous not to share. Draconia and Georgina were sitting with her at the Slytherin table. Draconia was complaining about an assignment, while Georgina was concentrating on a particularly large helping of roast potatoes. Victoria waited until Draconia had finished speaking.
“You two won’t believe what happened this afternoon.”
Georgina looked up.
“What did you break?”
“Nothing, you cow.”
“That’s a first.”
“Shut up and listen.”
Draconia sighed.
“Go on, then.”
“Potter came up to me.”
Draconia’s expression immediately soured.
“What did he want?”
Victoria grinned.
“He told me I’m beautiful.”
Georgina stopped chewing. Draconia stared. There was a moment of complete silence. Then Georgina burst out laughing. She laughed so hard that she had to put down her fork.
“Potter? Harry bloody Potter?”
Victoria nodded, delighted with the reaction. Draconia covered her mouth, but it was useless. She started laughing too.
“Oh, that’s priceless!”
“I know!”
“Are you sure you heard him correctly?” Georgina managed.
“Twice!”
That set them off again. Draconia shook her head in disbelief.
“Potter must have finally taken one Bludger too many to the head.”
“That’s what I thought,” Victoria said.
Georgina leaned forward.
“Wait. What exactly did he say?”
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