What Happens When When the Hero Summoning Goes Wrong
Copyright© 2026 by Greven
Chapter 4
Part of my preparations was to head to a dwarven forge to have something special built. When I met with the smith I asked if he could make something unusual for me. When I described what I wanted made he all but kicked me out of the forge.
I went home and tried to figure out what I could do. I could buy something close to what I wanted online but not exactly what I felt I needed. Balmor came in, saw me and sat down across from me. “Master, what seems to be the problem?” I shook my head. “Well I need something made out of metal, but it’s a custom piece. I went to the best person for the job and he threw me out telling me no dwarf worth his beard would ever make such a thing.”
I showed him the sketch I made and he seemed puzzled. “What is it exactly?” He asked, I told him, and he seemed interested. “You know you have something that would make any dwarf shave his beard for don’t you?” I looked at him and he made as if drinking out of a bottle. “If your world’s booze is anything like their beer then he will roll over and build this for a few bottles.”
Well when I was in college I hung out with a real alcohol enthusiast. I don’t mean a booze hound but a guy who knew what to drink, why to drink it, and what to pay for it. “Is there anything dwarfs prefer as to flavors?” He looked at me as if trying to understand. “I’m talking sweetness, overtones, harshness, smoky, spicy, anything special?” He still looked at me. “Master, do you have any idea what this worlds booze is like? It’s almost all the same. It’s brown, it burns, and it gets you drunk.”
I shook my head and looked at the store. I found a selection of miniatures and ordered a few different ones. A small box appeared and when I opened it up he looked very interested. “So they make this many kinds of booze?” I shook my head. “These are only a few types of the many different kinds and types of alcohol that are made. Now I know there isn’t much in them but rather than chugging them down put about half in your mouth and just swish it around before swallowing.”
He frowned at me right up until he did as I asked with a bourbon. His eyes bugged and then went soft. He swallowed and looked at me. “Your people are gods of booze aren’t they. It has a small burn, and the flavors are all over the place.” As we sat talking about the many types of alcohol we made he sampled each and every flavor we had. “So what do you think he would want that could get him to make my grill?”
He waved his hand with a slight drunken smile. “Honestly anything would seem like ambrosia compared to the crap we drink. The people of your world must really love to make booze.” I nodded. “Many of them do and do it as a profession. There are generations of families that make one kind of alcohol and they choose only certain grains, fruits, and yeasts to create the exact same flavor over and over for hundreds of years. They even age it for decades in certain conditions so that the flavor becomes perfect.”
Balmor’s eyes rolled back and he clutched his chest. “Oh the dedication and love these people have. Truly a noble pursuit if there ever was one.” He looked at the bottles in front of him and picked one up. This time he simply inhaled the smell. “This one is the perfect one for a dwarf. I couldn’t tell you why, just that it is.” I smiled at him. “I know this one well. The water is pure as can be, then an exact mixture of grains are fermented to create a mash. That is then distilled for the base alcohol. That is then aged in wooden barrels that had the inner layer turned to charcoal to remove impurities. They have been making the same thing for hundreds of years.”
I pulled up the menu and bought two of the distinct square bottles from Tennessee. The next day I went back and asked if we could have a little conversation in private. He knew who I was now, so he at least showed me that much consideration. “I have a little offering to maybe change your mind about this job.” His face turned to stone until I brought out a bottle. I cracked the seal and I saw his nose twitch. I pulled out a shot glass, poured the whiskey, and handed it to him. “You might want to sip it to not lose the flavor.”
He looked at me like he didn’t need to be taught how to drink, until it hit his tongue for the first time. Then he let out an odd gurgling sound and then a whimper. “A friend of mine sold me two bottles of this for a lot of gold. I’ve already had a few drinks from the one, and this, as you can tell has just been opened.” He set the glass back down and slid it towards me. “So what are you wanting again?” I told him what I wanted and why. He nodded and then tipped back the refill that I gave him. I watched as he rolled it around in his mouth and even inhaled through his lips to get the taste into his lungs.
“You know I’ve been at the forge for over four hundred years learning my craft. I have a reputation as a great smith that can make anything. Now I have spent just as long drinking as any dwarf does and I have never had any that tasted like this. So for a new kind of device I want a bottle of this other rare thing. What say you?” I set the bottle down between us and held out my hand. After we shook he put the glass next to the bottle. “It’s yours now, drink it as you like.”
I thought he would slam it but instead he poured a little more in the shot glass and went through the ritual again. “Yes, truly a work of art, for this I will do the same. Come back in a week and it will be done.” I nodded and left him to his work while I went to do mine.
Tessa, Dia, Daisy, and I took the hand cart into the market and went shopping for basic necessities for the kitchen. Some I talked them out of and others I pushed them to get more of. When we were done we all headed home with Dia pulling a very loaded cart. I told them to go on home and I broke off to go see Ralf.
I walked in and Caroline came running over. “My dear friend Larry, please help us out. We ran out of stock after only a few days. Is it possible to get more in the near future?” I nodded and told her that yes I could, but that I had need to talk to Ralf for a few moments. She nodded and her smile seemed to light up the room.
I stepped over and asked if he would like to buy the horn bull hides. He waved me to follow and we went into the rear of his store. There was a large table there and he said to put it here. I set down roll after roll till all fifteen were stacked on the table.
He looked at me and I pointed to my bag. “I found a bag of holding recently.” He nodded and then unrolled them one after the other. “These aren’t in good condition, they are in perfect condition. I’ve only seen one or two like this before and you have fifteen of the same quality.” He shook his head and looked at me. “So if you still want them the guild said I can sell directly to you.” Then he frowned. “Well that is a bit of a question isn’t it? I don’t know if I have enough on hand to pay you for this many.”
“How much are they worth on the market?” He looked closer and then shook his head. “When I told you I would pay you ten to fifteen I was expecting something far more damaged. If these went to auction, like most do, then I would think fifty to one hundred each. With how much I need to give you for the order my wife will be making for soaps I think I can only buy half.” I nodded. “You have a few sets of leather armor right?” He nodded. “Then I will sell them all to you for half the market price if you will also make at least five hides into light armor and equipment to sell. I will also need four matching sets made for the guards at my house.”
He quickly stuck his hand out and we shook on the deal. He also asked me to send them over to get measured for their armor. “Oh, and I will also have fifteen wyvern hides in much the same condition if you want them.” He told me he could never afford them, but would gladly tan them for a small fee. I agreed and then I went back to talk to Caroline.
She seemed very frantic and asked how long it would take to get the same amount of soaps again. I told her that my alchemist friend was now going to be sending regular shipments to my house from now on. I then told them where I was living and that got a very happy smile. “I will be heading out of town for quite a while, but I have instructed my people to deal with him, and you, in my stead.” She went from stressed to relaxed in an instant. Her supply chain was now secured.
With all of that I wished them a good day and told her I would be back tomorrow with a shipment. When I got home I complimented everyone on how wonderful the house was looking and smelling. Then I talked to Daisy and asked her about what her skill set had been as a maid because I needed someone who could read and write in order to deal with Ralf while I was gone. I explained what it would take and she smiled and told me she would do it and have all the girls help her in taking my bought goods and turning them in “local products”.
After that I headed downstairs into the empty basement and began to make a few massive orders. Heather had come with me and after I gave her a marker waited for a box to appear, checked the products, and then stacked them along the walls. I had purchased a thousand each of the men’s, lavender, and lilac soaps. Then I bought two thousand of the rose scented bars as well. We stacked two thousand bottles of conditioner, and boxes full of the cloth sacks for the soaps. I even bought a few extra chests for when we carried the goods to Ralf’s.
I called Daisy and her helpers down to the basement and went over how to repackage the soaps, and take the labels off the bottles. I had the girls do one chest with the standard order then to repackage fifty of each of the other bars and put them into another chest. After doing it once and understanding all that needed to be done, they were ready to take over my business.
Balmor said he would be ok holding down the fort while I took the others to Ralf’s to deliver a shipment and get measured for armor. We walked in and while I did my business with Caroline, the others followed Ralf into the shop to be fitted for the new horn bull armor. Caroline agreed to pay in coin from now on since I was needing some on hand while I was gone for the running of the household.
We marched back and I could tell they were all excited to be having matching armor to wear from now on. When we got home I took the gold upstairs to what we called my office and locked the gold in a bolted chest in the closet. There were only three people who could get into it. That was me, Lilly, and Daisy. This way we could put in the gold while Daisy and Tessa could run the house while we were gone.
A week later I got a letter saying my custom grill was ready to be picked up. I headed over and when I looked at it I was very satisfied. It wasn’t just some common barbeque. No, this was a combination grill and smoker with an offset smoking box. It was everything I ever wanted in a grill and more. After looking it over carefully, and with many compliments to the artistry in the details, We shook hands again.
“Tell your friend he is one fine artisan himself. Every time I felt a little strange making this item I took a sip and remembered that real craftsmanship isn’t in just doing the same thing over and over. One has to step out of the norm to create something special.” I nodded and passed him another bottle of Jack. “Consider this my thanks for going outside the norm for me, and for doing such a grand job.”
I put the massive device in my box and went back home to set the whole thing up. Once it was in place everyone came over for a look. They had never seen anything like it so I figured I ought to show them what it was all about. I bought a few large bags of charcoal, put some in both fire boxes and lit it off to see how she did.
While that was going on I went in, pulled a lot of meat out of the cold room, and began cutting it into inch thick steaks. Once they were all cut I used a commercial rub I loved, coated the steaks with it, and then I put it all back in the cold room to rest. I bought a few gallons of sweet tea and set up mugs for everyone to drink from. When I went to check on the grill the oils and such from making it had all burned off and the clean smell of charcoal was all that was left. I pulled out a clean rag, soaked it in tallow from the local market, and began rubbing the grill parts with it. Of course the rag came away nasty with dirt, but eventually it was all perfectly clean.
Walsh came over and asked what it was for. I told him that this was for cooking with. He nodded but I could tell he didn’t understand. I brought out the pans of steaks which people were very curious about and when I threw them on the grill the sound and the smell hit them like a ton of bricks.
Tessa was watching me closely as I described what I did to season the meat. I then explained the tallow use on a hot grill, and the way the already hot metal seared the flavors into the meat. I flipped them after six or seven minutes and the sound of the sear made everyone’s belly growl. While these were cooking she and I went inside and I pulled out many of the vegetables we had bought to day and built a giant bowl of salad. Then I poured a bottle of creamy ranch dressing and tossed it all together.
I pulled out clean platters and pulled all the steaks off before closing the grill down. I told everyone to stay away from it till tomorrow as it would be hot enough to grill them as well. Everyone followed me in, saw the gallons of drink on the table, and realized I had gotten things ready for a nice dinner.
Well no one was all that sure about the salad, until they tasted it and went nuts. Then as they looked at the slices of steak on their plates the combination of meat and salad were much easier to see. “Master, what kind of meat is this, I don’t think I’ve ever had anything so tender.” I agreed, this level of tender flavor would have been hard to find. “Oh these are just red horn bull.” And everyone stopped eating.
“Don’t tell me you people don’t like this kind of meat.” I asked and they all shook their heads. “I have tons of choice bull in storage and I thought I would use it for my first barbeque.” Dia hung her head. “Master this isn’t the kind of food a person gives their slaves. This isn’t the kind of meat anyone but merchants and nobles have the money to buy.”
“Good thing you aren’t my slaves. All that means is that my employees will eat like nobles then. I have over a ton of this meat in my box, and in the cold room, and I want all of you to eat it before it goes bad. I also have a room set aside at the guild shop so that you can all go by and pick some up now and then while I’m away. There will be the meat of a King Boar ready sometime in the near future, and I just added the meat from fifteen wyverns as well.”
Tessa looked at me, smiled and popped a piece of steak in her mouth. “When your master is someone like ours, who hunts the high level monsters, then we should feel grateful and even awed that he chose us to be here for him.” She looked at everyone and sighed and lifted her mug of tea. “You all get fussy eating fancy meats, but ask yourself who in this whole world gets food and drink from another world?” Everyone looked at their glass.
“Master you told us you were an oddball when we first came here. Well you are an oddball in that you care for your slaves and treat them like people, like family. Well I am going to be an oddball too. I will enjoy the food you give us, I will do everything I can to support you in any way I can, I will keep your every secret, and I will dedicate the life you saved to make sure that you will let us stay with you for as long as I live. You are not just my master, you are my family.”
I felt a heavy thump in my chest when everyone else cheered in agreement.
The next morning something happen and I couldn’t really get it for a little while when it hit me. Everyone in the house still called me master, but it sounded more like a nickname than a title. When I walked in the kitchen for some breakfast Latti ran over calling “Master” but it felt more like “brother” and hugged me with a smile.
Tessa smiled and gave me a little hug as well and asked if I wanted breakfast. I told her I was planning on showing her some of my cooking and how to use the huge spice cabinet I had in the cold room. She got excited at the idea. I knew she could read and write so I gave her a notebook and a pen to write down the recipes. She knew I had given a set of ledgers to track all purchases and shipments but this was just for her and she was giddy.
French toast was for breakfast and she was happy because she had never thought of something like that. From there we made all kinds of food and she got more excited with every one of the flavors and spices I used. Then I ran into one issue I hadn’t before. I suddenly wanted a hamburger and realized I needed a meat grinder. I asked her about this and she made a face. “Ground meat isn’t very well liked. The possibility of questionable meats is high and is usually something they make to feed people in the slums with unwanted scraps.”
Well I bought a hand meat grinder and set it up. We got some help and began grinding meat like crazy, and ended up with almost a hundred pounds. Then I showed her what ground meat was really all about. It hit me that I could start making all kinds of food now, slide it in my time stop item box, and we could eat like we were at home while on the road.
I made a large quantity of picadillo which caused Tessa to blush it was that good. Then there was meatloaf and all the goodies in them. Tessa loved to make bread for her family, and when I showed her how to make the soft bread from my home she was more than happy to learn. The idea that there was dough that needed a pan to keep its shape was new to her and she loved it. I gave her a taste of sourdough and that really hit her taste profile. So I showed her how to make a sourdough starter and how to use it. “Master, this is so simple anyone could do it. Could I share this starter with some of the bakers in town and teach them how to make bread like this?”
Well it looks like a new form of food was about to spread across this world. I told her it was fine, but she would have to take credit for making it. In fact I told her to tell everyone her grandmother used to make it. She blushed that I would let her be the inventor and glowed the rest of the day.
While the bread was baking I showed her how to make tortillas. She knew them as flatbread but never rolled so thin. When I took some picadillo and made a burrito out of it her eyes lit up. Then we made a burrito mix up and she rolled a few dozen of them for everyone to have for lunch which was a big hit.
The list went on and in the end I had weeks of food ready to eat in my box. We also stored more in the cold room for everyone else to eat. There were loaves of bread, and stacks of tortillas as well. Since dinner was yet to be made I showed her how to make hamburgers and we started the grill up again. When everyone saw the strange looking patties they were curious but knew I wasn’t feeding them junk.
The smell of the burgers had everyone drooling and the new bread to put them on received lots of compliments. The other item that got strange looks and lots of love was the fried potatoes. We made fries and potato chips and the salty treats were a big hit with everyone, especially Sue who made cute sounds as she bounced around as the kids loved offering her fries just to watch them dissolve.
Now that everyone had just about everything I could think of ready, Lilly and I talked about the coming trip. We pulled out a large map I had bought from the guild and began plotting our adventure. I wanted to see what this world called seafood. There were four small cites like ours on the way towards the sea so that was now our whole plan. We would take the different carriages there which would speed things up a little. This would also let us hit small towns as well which would be a nice addition.
The next day we went and bought Heather a full set of journey clothing, good boots, and everything else she would need before we took her to the guild to make her our party member. She didn’t have any real “skills” but I wanted to make sure she had a guild card all the same.
Lilly had filled me in that she was taken in a raid as an early teen and used as general labor and plaything until we found her. She had learned to read and write along the way so she could be useful but that was it. She was a blank slate in many ways and it was now up to us to discover who Heather wanted to be from here on out.
The good bye given to us by everyone turned a little tear filled and the next day we almost didn’t go. I knew they would be fine without us, but the bonds we had all made that one night had only grown stronger. We caught the carriage before it left and there we saw Johan and Wilhelm who promised to keep an eye on our family as well.
The “carriage” was actually just a merchant wagon that allowed us to tag along on their way to the sea. Such arrangements were common and we wouldn’t even have to stay with this one the whole way. As long as it was a high traffic rout trade like this we didn’t have to worry about monsters or bandits very much between adventurers and kingdom guards that travel the roads.
I officially made Heather our party member in my status page and that let me see everything about her. Her stats were better than mine when I got here, but still far lower than Lily’s and mine as we were now. She didn’t have any skills in magic, though she did have an affinity to water and earth. Who knows maybe I could help her awaken her magic skills.
As I sat there feeling the wagon rock I wish I had someone I could talk to about this world. Then it hit me, maybe Hestia could help me out. It would have to wait till our next meeting though as I was not about to treat a goddess like an information booth or blessing factory. That attitude could have some serious repercussions. “Oh come on Lawrence, I like to think we have a better relationship than that.” I bowed my head and eased to my knees in the wagon which caused Lilly and Heather to look at me oddly.
“Great Hestia, I am graced by your voice.” I could hear her sigh. “You know if you do this every time I talk to you people are going to think something is wrong with you. If you want to take a respectful stance when we are talking just bow your head and fold your hands.” I did so and she sighed. “You know if I didn’t know your heart, I would think you were acting. I have many followers who do that kind of a thing to look pious but I know them and act like the kind of bitch they expect.”
Ah the old ash and sackcloth kind. “Exactly, what a wonderful expression you have. They run around looking like a dedicated follower but in reality they are false as could be. But because they make all the right gestures and donations I have to give them something.” I nodded my head.
“Now since you were dropped into this world without any kind of knowledge base to operate from I have decided to grant you the boon of my knowledge when you need help. After eating those eclairs I feel I owe you at least that much.” She said in an almost orgasmic voice. “Oh you were so right. The crispiness of the pastry, the creamy sweetness of the filling, and the slight bitterness of the chocolate frosting was real ambrosia.”
She cleared her throat and sighed. “Anywho, so what is up with my favorite human?” I told her about my new wife and wondering how to improve her skills short of heavenly help. I could feel her smirking the whole time. “A second loving demi human woman as a wife?” I nodded. “Well Lilly seems to think I have to have a harem to be a proper husband to a demi. I don’t get it, but she is the love I always wished for in my former life and I guess I will do just about anything for her.”
“Oh dang it, how is it you are such a great person? I’ve looked into your world and the people there aren’t all that different than this one.” She actually said in a chocked up voice. “I had a very loving and dedicated mother. She taught me to be what she called a proper southern gentleman like my father had been. He died when I was ten so I didn’t get to know him well.” I heard her give a small sob. “I’ll be back.” Then the connection dropped.
I looked at up and saw both my ladies looking at me. “That was Hestia, she wanted to talk a little bit.” Lilly nodded but Heather looked shocked. “You mean the gods are real?” Lilly and I looked at her and nodded. “I never felt them no matter how hard I prayed. I never thought they cared about me.” Lilly reached out and took her hand. “How do you think I found you? The gods know we are family so they brought you to us, and I was able to sense you there.”
Heather looked at her and then at me. She then slid her knees and bowed her head. I knelt down with her and put my hand on her shoulder so she knew she wasn’t alone in her prayers. After a little while Heather gasped and shivered in my arms. She stayed in prayer for a little while longer and then sat back on her seat with tears streaming down her face.
“Husband I felt them in my heart. I didn’t talk to them, but I felt them. Somehow I know that until I went to a temple I couldn’t reach them well. They did what they could do to help me out and bring me to you. Now that I have been in their presence, and they can know me, I will have them with me when I need them.” She fell into my arms and sobbed as she felt the pain release and the grace take its place.
When she was done she felt a little different. I checked my screen and wasn’t shocked to see a new blessing. She had a small blessing from Hestia and a small blessing from Demia the goddess of water. That night as we set up our tent and got ready for bed I opened my menu and chose two sets of eclairs and a few bottles of iced latte. I set them on the box and guided Heather in how to make an offering to the two goddesses. She asked why and I told her they both gave her a minor blessing after her prayers.
She knelt before the tiny alter and then it glowed and vanished. Lilly looked at us and then frowned. “Husband could you do the same for me? I would like to be able to offer the same to my goddess.” I whipped up another order and it seemed the offering was accepted in an instant. When she raised her head she looked at me and smiled. “I feel lighter all of a sudden. Auria likes her gift and thanks you for helping me to offer it to her.”
Don’t ask me how I knew, but I quickly added one more order of goodies and offered it to Etnia and it disappeared. I looked at my women who seemed to wonder what I had done. “Well I couldn’t leave Etnia out of the coffee and snacks. The four are all friends and it’s not polite, nor nice, to leave her out of it.” They both looked at me with happy faces and we all went to bed feeling a lot better than we had before.
The next day we began to teach Heather about magic and when I looked she had water cutter and stone wall. We stopped for lunch and I gave the trader who handled the wagon a burrito. I told him it was one of servant’s specialties that used ground horn bull. He took one bite and he almost fainted at the taste. Lilly helped Heather to use her magic for the first time and boy did she love it. There was soon a waist high wall around the roadside camp ground we had stopped at. It also only took her three spells to cut down a medium sized tree. Sue thought we were “pew pewing” and took down a tree with a few of her own shots which actually made the trader wonder what kind of powerful people he was traveling with.
As we rode along the trader began to talk with us and asked us about our trip. We told him we were traveling to find adventure and help who we could along the way. “Well I know the western trade route from Dunsten was closed recently due to monster problems. The town is well known for making some of the finest pottery in the kingdom and they had lost access to one of their greatest clay deposits.
Lilly smiled at me and I knew we were going to be helping them. “Are you going to be there for very long?” He shrugged. “I guess it depends on how trading is there. If there is a good market I may be there for up to a week. If you need to move faster than there was sure to be another wagon.” He said and we told him that we just wanted to know how long we would have there.
We got to Dunsten in the late afternoon and went to the inn the trader recommended. After we had a room with a large bed we headed to the guild. We had been told by Wilhelm to introduce ourselves to the guild masters along the way and even gave us a letter to show in each town.
We talked to the counter lady who looked at the seal on the letter and then went to get the guild master. We introduced ourselves to him and handed him the letter. He read it and then looked at us. “Is this true?” He asked and I shrugged. “I don’t know what’s in the letter so I couldn’t’ tell you.” He asked for our guild cards, looked at them and shook his head. “Will says that you took down a herd of horn bulls, a King Boar, and even a flock of wyvern with just the two of you.” I nodded.