Assignment From M
Copyright© 2026 by Zappedfan
Chapter 1: Customs and Courtesies
Signing out on Holiday, James? Alone?” Miss Moneypenny asked.
“Yes, alas, all on my own” replied the suave spy, “Oh Miss Moneypenny, why won’t you ever go on holiday with me?”
“It may be that you never asked me,” Miss Moneypenny answered, “Or it may be MY fear of YOUR plans.”
“Penny, Penny, Penny,” Bond scolded, “It’s understood when a man...” Bond moved around the back of Moneypenny’s chair, “And a woman...” Bond leaned forward over Moneypenny’s ear “go on holiday together, well, whatever happens ... happens.”
“So ... no one can complain?” Miss Moneypenny asked.
“What happens on holiday” James whispered softly into her ear, “Stays on holiday.”
Moneypenny turned her head around and faced Bond, their lips millimeters apart.
“So, is that an invitation?” She asked.
“Oh, I couldn’t bear to take you away from M” Bond said.
“I’ll bet you could BARE more than that” Moneypenny thought.
Bond moved smoothly out of the office, “As they say in America, see you later.”
“I’ll see YOU, too” he heard Moneypenny answer as he closed the door behind him.
That was the last he expected to hear from Moneypenny for a week.
But, as he exited his flat early the next morning, there she was standing in front of her car.
“Miss Moneypenny?” Bond asked “Come to see me off?”
“Not exactly,” Moneypenny answered “I have an assignment for you from M.”
Bond stopped in his tracks.
“I’m on holiday.” He protested.
“Sorry” Moneypenny answered “You’re going with me.”
Bond dragged his bag to Moneypenny’s car.
“Do you mind if I leave this in your car while we see M?” Bond said as he tossed his bag into Moneypenny’s back seat.
“We’re not going to see M,” Moneypenny answered as she opened the passenger door for Bond “We’re going to Heathrow airport. Get in, I’ll explain things on the way.”
“YOU’LL explain things?” Bond asked indignantly “Why didn’t M give this assignment to me DIRECTLY?”
“Because she gave it to ME,” Moneypenny answered “To give to you. M trusts me.”
Moneypenny now looked hurt, “Don’t ... you ... trust me, James?”
“Oh, Penny, Penny, Penny” Bond said walking up close to her “I’d trust you with my body and soul.”
“Well,” Miss Moneypenny said blushing “I have no need for your soul”
The two shared a chuckle.
“But get your BODY in the car!” She said guiding him by his shoulder.
Moneypenny walked around the car to the driver’s side. When she was out of Bond’s view she glanced skyward and mouthed “THANK YOU!” She then recomposed herself and started up the car.
“I’m packed for the tropics, you know.” Bond said as they drove away.
“I’m sure that what you’ve packed will be enough” Moneypenny answered.
Smiling to herself she thought, “Quite a bit MORE than enough.”
Later...
“Really James, it’s just an island resort,” Moneypenny whispered to Bond as they walked up the tube from the plane to the airport, “I don’t suspect anything.”
“That’s because you don’t have my keen intuition” Bond whispered back, “A privately owned, by invitation only resort that fancies itself an independent country is an ideal SPECTRE front.”
“Isn’t that cute?” Moneypenny thought, “My victim is bragging about his astuteness as he walks into my trap.”
As they exited the tube they found themselves in a line behind four other passengers, three women and a man.
There was a woman at a desk checking passports. The first woman was let go immediately through a turnstile to the right but the second woman and only man were sent to a door to the left marked “IN” next to a similar door marked “OUT.” Then the third woman was sent right away through the turnstile and it was Moneypenny’s and Bond’s turn.
“Welcome to the Island Republic of Feminen” the seated woman in a customs uniform said, “Passports please.”
As the customs official checked their passports against the approved list, Moneypenny turned quickly and whispered to Bond in astonishment.
“James! That man is STARKERS!” She exclaimed.
There was indeed a man, nude except for sandals, walking casually through the airport with a fully clothed woman. No-one besides Moneypenny seemed to take notice.
“This must be a clothing optional resort,” Bond whispered reassuringly, “Act as if we’re expecting it.”
Moneypenny liked that attitude and wanted to reinforce it.
“No matter what happens?” She asked in hushed tones.
“Remember, you’re my cover.” Bond answered.
“The only cover YOU’LL have this week,” she thought.
“Allright, James,” Moneypenny whispered back “I’ll follow your lead.”
“This was almost too easy,” she thought.
The customs official handed back the passports.
“Take your stud to the health inspector” she said to Moneypenny pointing to the “IN” door, “Then to baggage claim.”
“My ... Stud?” Moneypenny asked.
“She means me,” Bond said with a sly grin, “I get that a lot.”
“Oh, James, you’re so vain” Moneypenny said, “Go on, I’ll wait here.”
“You must escort him” the official ordered.
Bond took Moneypenny’s hand and pulled her away from the desk, “Of course, thank you Miss” he said.
“Mis-TRESS!” The woman snapped.
Bond showed none of the confusion he was feeling at that and simply answered, “Yes Mistress, please forgive me.”
Moneypenny pretended to be pretending to not be surprised by the exchange.
As they made their way to the “IN” door, the couple who was ahed of them in line emerged from the “OUT” door. They recognized the woman at once but not the man since he was now also nude except for sandals.
Moneypenny quickly turned away and faked coyness. “Heavens, there’s another one. I hope you don’t intend to do THAT, James.”
“I certainly don’t intend to shave like that” he replied.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Surely you noticed the man’s privates were hairless” Bond explained, “Or didn’t you look there?”
“I did NOT!” Moneypenny lied.