The Worst Healer
Copyright© 2026 by InSpite
Wishlist
The Adventurer’s Guild was somehow not what I’d expected on my first visit and, if anything, my second was less impressive. I’d expected a large building, like a tavern or bank, bustling with interesting characters.
Instead, it was a simple office in the Merchant’s Quarter, tucked away on a nondescript street. It reminded me more of an estate or travel agent’s shop, with just three desks occupied by sombre clerks, in a single dimly lit room.
Piles of paperwork stacked the desks, and the room was surrounded by filing cabinets, overflowing and stacked one on top of the other.
Sierra had taken me along to show me how the process of getting a quest worked, and the answer seemed to be the most complicated way possible.
Silas, the elderly clerk, despite knowing Sierra by name, verified her identity and papers. He then went over the Red Briar members and ranks before returning with a stack of missions that we were approved for.
Sierra leafed over the first five or so before really starting to look at them, “The top ones are the oldest, some of them have been here for years – they’re either not worth the money for how long they’d take or ... they’re tracking people we don’t want to find.”
She skimmed through the rest quickly in silence before fixing Silas with a hard stare. “This is the same stuff as normal. We have a healer now, four members, where’s the good stuff? Where are the dungeon bounties and the higher-grade missions?”
Silas cleared his throat, peering nervously at the paperwork in front of him through his thick round glasses “Ah yes, your D-Rank apprentice does not count towards the clan’s current grading.”
“Apprentice?” Sierra and I both asked at the same time. “Silas, this is some bullshit...” She continued.
He shuffled a piece of paper he’d been clutching in front of her “Section 46, subsection 12 of the new guidelines ... you haven’t read them?” He left the question hanging for a moment while Sierra glared at him. “To summarize: to reduce the fatality rate of starting adventurers, they are now required to complete three Guild-approved bounties before being counted towards their Clan’s grading.”
“Guild-approved bounties?” Sierra asked in a flat voice. “And where are they?”
Silas reclaimed the pile of bounties, taking a few minutes to shuffle through them before returning the top five to Sierra.
Her reaction was instant and explosive. “You dirty son of a bitch, Silas! You’ve been trying to offload those for an age, and now you’re trying to use some guidelines to force us into your dirty work.”
I’d mistaken Silas for a bumbling bureaucrat, but he showed a harder edge as he peered over his glasses at Sierra, unfazed by her reaction, “Take it or leave it Sierra.”
“This is why I don’t bring Ellie with me. She’d have burned this place to the ground...” Sierra muttered as she leafed through the five sheets of paper in more detail.
Finally, with an exasperated sigh, she threw them down.
“Three of these are Nightshade ... You know what they do to people who go after them!”
“I know how much of a scourge they are on this town and its people.” Silas replied quietly. “You would be doing us a great service...”
“For a not-great reward. And with only two other bounties, you’re not really giving us a choice.” Sierra picked out the three bounties. “‘Capture’ missions against Nightshade ... you know they want us dead already? If we make any move on them it starts a war.”
Silas tapped the bounties in front of her. “It’ll come to a war sooner or later ... you want to wait until they’re ready? Or see how they fare without these three.”
“Make them ‘Dead or Alive’ bounties at the least ... you know they won’t stay caught, even if you could bring them in alive.” Sierra countered, “I’m not putting our lives on the line so some crooked jailer can get themselves a fat bribe for letting them slip out in the night.”
“Deal,” Silas said, claiming the three sheets of paper to sign and stamp them with a swiftness he hadn’t shown until now.
“And Silas ... if word gets out to them ... if they know we’re coming...” Sierra left the threat hanging in the air.
He held up a hand. “Sierra, I blackmail on occasion. I may threaten, cajole or even trick customers, but I do not betray them. I’ll keep this between us until the bounties are handed in.”
With a nod from Sierra, we left.
I felt a little awkward that my presence had put them in this situation. I was about to offer an apology when Sierra broke into a bitter laugh “Ellie is going to love this.”
“So, it wasn’t the disaster it sounded like? And who are Nightshade?” Once again, I felt like I was missing half the pieces to a jigsaw puzzle.
“It’s not great ... but it’s something Rhian and Ellie have wanted to do for a while,” Sierra conceded. “But I’ve been putting it off.”
I noticed we weren’t heading for the Clanhouse. I guessed Sierra wanted to take a longer route to go over things.
“Nightshade is a guild of sorts.” She explained, “Their normal requirement for entry is that you’ve been expelled from the Adventurers Guild or are a known criminal. They’ll do anything for money, and they like to make examples of anyone who meddles in their affairs.”
“They sound like people to avoid, not go after,” I pointed out, “Why get on their bad side?”
“Oh, we’re already on their bad side,” Sierra’s smile showed a few too many teeth, “You are too actually.”
“Me?” I asked, confused, “I’m going to have to ask for details there, I don’t have any enemies here, do I?”
Sierra raised an eyebrow and I thought about it a moment before it came to me “Ah shit ... Groat.”
“And Mr Reeves,” she confirmed. “We took a missing person bounty about two months ago. It turns out the missing girl was being held captive in a brothel.
“We thought we could sneak her out, but ... Ellie objected to the way the girls were being kept and...”
“Set the place on fire?” I guessed.
“The place. The guards. The staff. Then for good measure ... the customers. They sent a group of thugs around afterwards. To claim compensation in blood and gold ... she set them on fire too and wanted to go after the one who sent them.”
“I’m surprised you managed to stop her.” I really was, Ellie had a temper at the best of times, but when her friends were threatened, she was flat out dangerous.
“It was close,” Sierra winced, “We had a bounty to rescue the girl, so managed to smooth things over with the Guild and town watch. But going after Silvertongue – the brothel owner – would have left us with bounties on our heads.”
“The Guild had a bounty on him, but it was to capture him, he’d just be back in five or ten years and out for revenge.” She explained, “Silas has been trying to get people on these bounties for years. He hates Nightshade even more than us. I just needed him to think he had us over a barrel so he wouldn’t blink at making the bounties ‘Dead or Alive’.”
I was impressed, “That’s pretty devious, but we’re basically walking into a gang war here, wouldn’t we be better off avoiding them?”
“Thanks, there’s a reason I do the planning around here,” she said with a grin before getting more serious, “We’re already at war with them. They’re bullies, if we back down, they’ll come after us. The truth is, if we’d paid them off, they’d have come back for more. Ellie’s explosive temper and casual violence is the only thing that’s made them keep their distance.”
I wasn’t convinced by that logic. “If we kill three of their guys, won’t they come after us harder?”
“Maybe, but there will be three less of them.” She shrugged, “We tried to sound out a peace deal through some contacts before, but they wanted blood. But they’ve made a lot of enemies, if we weaken them enough, there’s even a slim chance they’ll implode. If not, at least we’re getting paid for it.”
I was running the situation and our options through in my mind. I must have gone quiet for a bit, because the next thing I knew Sierra gave my shoulder a gentle shove. “Hey, this is life in Red Briar. We take bounties and they come with complications. You have to make choices and take your chances because there are no guarantees.”
A little more gently she added. “If you’re having second thoughts, we don’t have to do this. We can take some of the easier bounties or ... you’ve got enough money to live on for a bit while you figure something out ... you can stay at the Clanhouse under our protection, of course.”
I was surprised that, despite my reservations about the plan, I didn’t have to think about the answer to that. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily. Not before I’ve seen one of these dungeons, I keep hearing about.”
“I’ll drink to that,” Sierra added happily, nodding ahead to the Golden Standard.
“The pub? Shouldn’t we go and get the others, or talk about these bounties?” I gestured in the direction of the Clanhouse.
Sierra was grinning as she walked halfway up the stairs before turning. “It’s lunchtime, where do you think they’ll be? Plus, we always do our planning in the pub. It’s never let us down.”
“Half the stories you guys tell are about missions that went wrong.” I couldn’t help but point it out.
“So, worst case, you’ll have your own story to tell after this.” She shot back as she walked into the pub.
We settled in after a friendly greeting from Gwen, greeted the others, ordered drinks, and got down to business.
“Right,” Sierra began after filling the others in on the events at the Adventurer’s Guild. “These are our three targets, we’ve already done some digging on Nightshade members, so most of you will know them, I’ll fill in the details for Carrie.”
I felt a bit of a rush as she began laying everything out, like we were some sort of special forces team about to strike the enemy. She stopped for a mouthful of beer, slightly ruining that image, and then began.
“First up, we have Etna Blair...” She laid down the first bounty sheet.
“Nicknamed ‘The Ironslag’, though not to her face.” Ellie interjected, between mouthfuls of stew, for my benefit.
Sierra continued, “She used to be in the town guard until she got caught taking bribes and was sent to the Depths ... it’s an underground prison and mine rolled into one. They used to use slaves, now they use prisoners.”
It was Sierra’s turn to take a drink while Ellie filled in the blanks. “Not a good place to be a former town guard, should have been a death sentence, but she came out with her own merry band of followers.”
Sierra picked up the presentation again. “It’s safe to say she wasn’t reformed. My guess is the bribes she took were from Nightshade, because she strolled into a job with them. She runs an alternative to the town guard, with a sideline in extortion, crewed by a bunch of ex-cons.”
“The bad news,” she concluded with a sigh, “We’re looking at a B-Rank Brawler with some top-tier gear.”
“Like Groat? That doesn’t sound too bad.” I offered, relieved to actually be familiar with something here for once.
Ellie snorted. “She’s like Groat in the same way a lapdog is like a wolf. It’ll take more than one of us to take her down.”
Sierra explained in more detail. “Brawlers are a common class, most of them are C or D Rank, there are very few B Ranks and almost none above that. She’ll be closer to the hobgoblin Barbarian than Groat ... hopefully not quite that much closer, though.”
“So, I’ll kill her with one shot while you all take a nap.” Rhian signed helpfully.
“Next up.” Sierra ignored Rhian’s jibe to keep things moving. “Silvertongue...”
“YES!” Ellie exclaimed. “I’d kill that prick for free.”
“So would a lot of people. That’s why he has so many guards.” She replied “Vernon Hakes, aka Silvertongue.” Sierra laid down the bounty contract. “The bad news is he’s A-Rank, the good news is he’s low on innate combat abilities – though he’s one of the wealthiest people in town, so he’s likely bought himself a few toys.”
“Silvertongue is a Charmer.” Seeing my confused look, she elaborated. “They’re a Class that normally sings or tells stories in inns ... maybe entertains kids or serves as a town crier. They manipulate emotions and feelings, usually subtly.”
She took a deep breath, “But when you get to A-Rank, something shitty happens.”
“He can induce fear, rage, lust ... whatever emotion he wants, in those around him.” She gave a slight pause before dropping the bombshell, “And if he makes direct contact with you, he gets to pull your strings like a puppet for several minutes.”
“So, if he doesn’t make you run away or ... shag the nearest barstool, then he’ll just take control of you and tell you to hit your head against the wall.” Ellie filled in the blanks again “That’s not a hypothetical, by the way, that’s what he does to people who irritate him.”
“What does he do to people who really annoy him?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood a little.
“He has them eat themselves, starting with the fingers.” Sierra left that image hanging for a heartbeat before continuing. “Don’t worry, it gets worse.”
“Silvertongue makes full use of his abilities by running a series of brothels.” She paused for a moment, looking uncomfortable, “I’ll spare you the details, but let’s say he has a knack for picking up new girls and keeping them in check. He commands total loyalty from his followers by demanding they tell the truth ... anyone even thinking of betrayal falls into the ‘really annoying him’ category.”
She looked around us as she concluded, “We’ve already burnt down one of his brothels, so he may have increased his protection. He already had a lot of muscle working for him, though his men are spread out keeping his empire in check. He should be easy to kill if we can get through them.”
Rhian signed her doubts, “If he were easy to kill, he’d be dead already, he’s the most hated man in town.”
Sierra nodded, pushing forward the last bounty. “Which leads me to Silvertongue’s attack dog, Carrion, a B-Rank Assassin.”
Rhian and Ellie both let out a breath at the same time.
“I know,” Sierra quickly responded. “Normally, this is the point where we’d walk away. In theory, Silvertongue could have sent Carrion after us months ago, and the first clue we’d have is finding ourselves dropping dead.”
She picked up the bounty, looking at it as she mused, “We know Carrion can evade even Rhian’s senses, and we know they have the Disguise Skill...”
“Wishlist!” Ellie squealed, putting her finger on her nose.
I opened my mouth to ask what she was talking about, but Sierra cut me off. “We’ll talk about it later, focus, Ellie.”
She continued. “We also know they don’t fight like an Assassin. At all. More like a Berserker. They overwhelm their target with speed and ferocity rather than using stealth to bypass their defence.”
“In short,” Ellie concluded with a half-smile. “You think you can take them...”
“I do.” Sierra nodded. “They’re an ambush class. With surprise Assassins can take out most Classes, but in a fair fight I should be a bad match for them.” She looked at the rest of us, “They’ll be too slippery for you to hit Ellie, too quick for Carrie and probably an even match with Rhian, but sword to dagger I should be able to best them.”
“We don’t know their real name, history or even gender.” Sierra gestured to the nearly blank bounty contract. “All we do know is that they guard and eliminate problems for Silvertongue. The only Skill we know they have is Disguise, and, as that hides other Skills even from Appraise, they may have some nasty tricks up their sleeve.”
“Question.” Rhian looked concerned as she signed, “You say they don’t fight like an Assassin, what if they do?”
Sierra looked confused. “Every time Carrion has fought, they’ve come at their opponent like a rabid dog.”
Rhian looked dubious. “Every time they’ve been seen fighting. What if those are just the times Silvertongue wants to make an example?” She left that hanging for a moment before continuing. “Good Assassins aren’t seen fighting. What if, when he simply wants someone gone ... then no-one sees it?”
Sierra took a slow drink while she thought about that. “Then we’re fucked,” she concluded. “Silvertongue wants us dead, though, and if what you’re worried about is true it’s better to go on the offensive than wait for Carrion to come after us.”
After a long pause Ellie took a drink and wrapped the situation up for us, “So, we just need to kill a tank with a private army, and someone who can make us their finger-eating-bitches if he touches us ... oh, who also has a private army and a murder pet.”
“Hey, Ellie,” Sierra snapped, “Remember a month ago, when I said, ‘Let’s try to push for a truce’ and you and Rhian said, ‘Fuck that, they need to die’? This is that. This is what you wanted. I had to fight for it, but here it is.”
Ellie was unbothered by the irritation she’d clearly caused. “Alright, alright. We know you’re just laying out the bad stuff and what we’re up against, before you lay out the masterplan, so let’s get to the good stuff.”
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