A Loving Light
Copyright© 2026 by Marc Nobbs
Chapter 29: Letting Go
For the second time in three days, I found myself standing in front of the full-length mirror in my bedroom, adjusting my tie and making sure I looked my best. This time, I was preparing to head to the three-million-pound office building, which was the centrepiece of my property portfolio, for a party celebrating the birth of a new law firm that I owned ten percent of.
Despite everything that had happened in the last couple of months—hell, in the last couple of weeks, even—I still had trouble getting my head around it.
I was wearing the light grey suit this time, along with a pale lavender shirt and the same lilac tie that I’d worn to the launch of The Clarissa Trust.
It felt appropriate to honour Clarissa in this small way, given her passing was the reason I was dressed like this and preparing for this event.
The past two days had been amazing. I’d enjoyed a fabulous Sunday carvery at my sister’s restaurant with my chosen family, which now included my girlfriend, followed by a lazy Sunday afternoon cuddling up on the sofa with my girlfriend, watching movies from the nineties—starting with The Shawshank Redemption.
Make no mistake, Lana was my girlfriend. No, I didn’t ‘ask’ her to be my girlfriend. We didn’t have a ‘what are we’ discussion. We just behaved the way boyfriends and girlfriends behave from the moment I picked her and Lily up before lunch, to the time I kissed her goodnight at half-seven that evening outside her flat, so she could finish an essay that was due the next day.
She kissed me when I picked her up, asked me if that was okay, then kissed me again when I grinned and nodded. We held hands on the way down to the car, and then again from the car to the restaurant and throughout the meal.
We didn’t need to give each other a title. We both knew exactly what we were.
And so did everyone else.
We exchanged playful, affectionate text messages again on Monday morning before meeting up for lunch as usual. And she again came around to mine for a few hours in the evening, where she helped Imogen cook a lovely meal, then sat cuddled with me on the sofa to watch another old movie—this one from the eighties—before again returning to her flat fairly early to study.
I smiled at my reflection in the mirror as I recalled the pleasant memories, and the Swan Lake theme played out in the back of my head.
I rang the bell and waited. I’d done this so many times over the past six months, sometimes calling for Lily, sometimes for Lana, and sometimes for both.
And I think just about every one of the eight residents had opened the door to me at some point.
But none of those ‘open door’ moments had been as memorable as that very first time, back at the end of September, when I’d first laid eyes on the stunning young woman I’d come to know so well and finally fallen in love with.
Until now.
Lana opened the door, and although I opened my mouth to say ‘Hi’, no words came out. I just stared at her.
Her broad smile faded a touch. She went from happy to see me to a look of slight concern.
“Paul, are you okay? You look...” She shrugged. “Is it just nerves about the party?”
I shook my head. “I...” I took a breath. “You have to stop doing this to me.”
“Doing what?”
“Taking my breath away every time I see you. You’ll give me a heart attack at this rate. You look ... Incredible.”
She blushed and looked down, but recovered quickly, making it seem as if she were looking down at herself.
“This old thing?” she said, brushing away imaginary dust from her dress. “It’s my concert dress from the Germany tour. Honestly, it’s probably a bit too short for playing the cello, but I can just about get away with it at the second desk.” She looked up and grinned. “I could never get away with it in the quartet. It would be indecent.”
I grinned and shook my head.
It was, in simple terms, a little black dress.
It wasn’t that short, really—the hemline was about half an inch above her knee, if that—but I knew what she meant, having seen her hold the cello between her knees when playing. It wasn’t even particularly ‘sexy’ in the sense that it was quite ‘modest,’ with a high neckline and sleeves that came about halfway down her upper arms. It wasn’t even tight—it didn’t cling to her body and reveal every curve, instead hugging her curves loosely, letting you know they were there while softening and partially hiding them.
No, it wasn’t how ‘sexy’ she looked that took my breath away. It was how elegant and sophisticated she looked. She didn’t look like a nineteen-year-old student trying to dress up for a party. She looked like a young woman who was confident in her own skin.
And that blew ‘sexy’ right out of the water.
“You know,” she said, leaning in to whisper conspiratorially, “If I played the violin instead of the cello—or even the viola, or any other instrument, really—I would wear a dress like this no matter which desk I was at.” She leaned back. “But why would I want to play an inferior instrument for the sake of a short skirt?”
I chuckled. “Well, quite.”
Lana turned and called into the house. “Lily, are you ready?”
“Coming,” came the reply.
Lily walked into the corridor from her room, also wearing a little black dress. But she did look like a nineteen-year-old student dressing up for a party.
I mean, she looked fabulous.
But not as fabulous as Lana.
The working day ended at five, and Will, as the Managing Partner of the new firm, planned to address the staff in the fully opened Conference Room on the ground floor at quarter-past, ahead of the first guests arriving at half past.
I’d been sent a copy of the guest list, which consisted of the firm’s most important clients—meaning clients that had either been with the firm for a very long time or were particularly wealthy—and a range of local professionals that the firm regularly worked with, such as estate agents and accountants. I recognised almost none of the names apart from David and Bobby, who I assumed Will had invited because we worked so closely with both of them.
I noticed that Lily’s father, Pete, had been invited too—he was Will’s oldest living friend, so that also made perfect sense.
I was asked if there was anyone I wanted to invite. Naturally, I invited my chosen family—Imogen, Mark, Lily, Marie and, of course, Lana. I invited my actual family too—Vicky and Jess. But I also asked the firm to send invitations to some of my professional contacts.
It felt slightly weird to think of them as ‘professional contacts,’ but that’s what they were. At least, that’s what Maddie, Ben and Amiee were. Harry and Ellie, too. I suppose the teaching staff from the Law Department at the university weren’t strictly ‘professional contacts,’ but Will had once told me it was wise to maintain links with the local university, so I figured the invitation was a good idea.
Will had, too. He sent me a text message after he’d seen my list, saying, ‘I should have thought of that!’
So I wasn’t really supposed to arrive at my new office building until shortly after five, but I’d contacted Dot, Will’s secretary, and asked her to book the boardroom on the top floor for me from four. She’d politely asked why, and I’d sworn her to secrecy, especially from Will, before telling her. I needed her to prepare the room for me, as well as just book it for use.
I’d also asked her to send meeting invitations to Will, Jeremy, Sally, Pete, David, Bobby, Ollie, Rachel and all of my guests to meet me in the boardroom at half-four.
“Do you have it with you?” Lana asked as I parked in the space reserved for me close to the building’s entrance and right next to Will’s Range Rover.
I shook my head. “It’s already in the Boardroom waiting. Dot came by first thing this morning to collect it on her way to work.”
“And you’re sure this is the ‘right moment’?” She made air quotes with her fingers.
I nodded. “It absolutely is. No question about it.” I smiled. “I even found the presentation box it originally came in at the bottom of the cabinet. Dad obviously wanted to display the bottle, but I think he’d have wanted to make a big deal of taking it out of the box on the day.”
“So that’s what you’re going to do?”
I nodded again.
“And you are sure about doing it so ... publicly? And not in private?”
“Private is relative,” I said. “The people in that room are the most important people in my life. To me, that’s private.”
She smiled at me and nodded.
I looked into the back seat at Lily. “You didn’t tell your dad what I’m planning, did you?”
She shook her head and made a ‘cross my heart’ gesture. “Not a word. He doesn’t even know I’m going to be there.”
I nodded. “Good. Okay, well ... Let’s get on with it.”
It was just about quarter past four when the three of us entered the atrium. I noticed Lana and Lily looking up at the high glass ceiling and around at the atrium in general, and realised it was the first time either of them had been here.
It truly was an impressive structure, but with the number of times I’d been here now, I’d somehow ‘forgotten.’
And now I owned it.
Or, rather, Wintersmith did.
I allowed myself a small, half-smile.
Preparations for the party were already well underway. I saw Carole, the Office and Facilities Manager, organising some of the support staff who had been in the same open office on the second floor that Imogen and I had worked in over the summer. She looked over at me, smiled and nodded. She was one of my new partners, holding a seven-and-a-half percent stake in the new firm.
I smiled and nodded back, then headed for the reception desk, behind which Helen, the woman who Will had told me on my first day had been with the firm longer than he had, was in her usual spot.
“Good afternoon, Mr Robertson. Dotty tells me the boardroom is all ready for you. You can go straight up if you’d like.”
I arched an eyebrow. “For two months last summer, you called me Paul. Now I’m Mr Robertson?”
She smiled. “Yes, well, in the summer, you were a work experience kid from the university. Now you’re a shareholder, a director and the man who saved all our jobs. I think you’ve earned the respect that comes with being called Mr Robertson.”
I stared at her. Then shook my head and rubbed my face with my hand, taking a deep breath.
I felt a hand on my arm and turned to my right. Lana had that look of concern again.
“What’s wrong?”
I shook my head and took another breath.
“I just ... I knew Will would have to tell the staff—I mean, it’s public record—but I never thought ... I don’t deserve...” I looked at Helen. “I’m just Paul. I’m still just Paul. The work experience kid from the university.”
She smiled kindly at me. “You have never been ‘just Paul,’ not even during the summer. Paul, you are extraordinary, and don’t you dare ever let anyone else tell you otherwise, you hear?”
I smiled back at her, still shaking my head.
“Have any of my guests for the four-thirty meeting arrived?”
“Young Marie arrived about fifteen minutes ago. I had Paige take her upstairs and help her and Dotty arrange the room the way you wanted it.”
I nodded. “Thanks. When the others get here—”
“I’ll call the boardroom and let you know. You can choose to come and get them yourself, or I’ll have someone escort them upstairs. It’s up to you.” She smiled. “Boss.”
I chuckled. “If I’m the boss, do I get to fire you like Will does?”
“Fire me as many times as you like, I’ll still turn up the next day. I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve been fired in the last twenty-five years, but I still turn up, bright and early the next day.”
I smiled at her again.
“Thank you, Helen.”
“What for?”
I took a breath. “Just ... Thank you.”
Her smile widened. “You’re most welcome ... Mr Robertson.”
The last time I’d seen Paige was when I was here for the meeting with Sarah Ward about potentially investing in Kayla’s album. She’d been in the atrium at the time and had come rushing over to me, but then there’d been a very awkward exchange. It had been the first time we’d seen each other since splitting up.
So I didn’t really know what to expect when I entered the boardroom and saw her standing there and talking to Marie.
She still looked ... She was, physically at least, still ‘just my type.’
Dot was the first to come over to me.
“Hi, Paul. Nice to see you again. I guess we’ll be seeing much more of you from now on, right?”
I nodded. “I guess so. How are things with you?”
“Oh, you know, mustn’t complain.” She smiled. “If nothing else, I still have a job. Thanks to you.”
I frowned.
“I know, I know,” she said. “You’re ‘just Paul.’ Will said that’s what you’d say today. But don’t underestimate how much every single person in this building appreciates what you’ve done. Will didn’t hold back. He told us everything—he felt he needed to explain how important the part you played in keeping this place open was. So, if Helen hasn’t already said it, then let me. On behalf of everyone here ... Thank you, Paul.”
I smiled and nodded. Then, I took a deep breath.
“Is everything ready?”
She nodded. “Exactly as you instructed. There are three glasses on a tray on the table, then eighteen more on the three trays on the cabinet.”
“And the bottle?”
“Hidden, as instructed. Marie knows where it is. When he comes in, Will will see the three glasses, but he won’t see the bottle until you ask for it.”
I nodded again. “Thank you.”
“And there are soft drinks, still and sparkling water in the fridge in the bottom half of the cabinet in case any of your guests would prefer not to partake of the whisky.”
I took another deep breath.
“Thank you.”
Three glasses. There should have been four, but...
The shadow of Andy’s ghost, with no one here to represent him, suddenly hung heavily in the room.
I should have invited Chrissy. His wife should have been here. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it earlier.
The phone rang. Dot immediately went over to answer it. She listened, then looked at me and said, “Some of your guests have arrived. A Ben, Amiee and Maddie. Down from London? Would you like me to go and get them and bring them up?”
“If you don’t mind.”
“Of course, I don’t mind. Won’t be long.”
She left the room, and I went over to Marie and Paige. Both smiled as we approached.
“Ready for this?” Marie said.
I shrugged. “As I’ll ever be.”
“Big moment.”
I nodded.
“Paige was telling me about your work here last summer.”
I looked at Paige. “Hi.”
“Hi.” She looked down for a second, then back up at me.
“How have you been?” I asked.
“Oh, you know. Busy. Good, but busy. There’s been a lot to do here.”
“I’ll bet.”
“Gary and I split up,” she said, quickly. Then she blushed. “He ... er ... He was offered a transfer to one of the London offices to stay with JMS. All the lawyers were, actually. But only about half a dozen took up the offer. And, honestly, none of them is any great loss. At least, that’s what the other lawyers have been saying.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “About Gary.”
She shrugged. “It happens.” She looked down again. “Look, I ... I should go. Everything is set in here, and I’m needed downstairs to help set things up. Lots to do.”
I nodded. “Yes, of course. Well ... It was nice seeing you again.”
She smiled. “Nice seeing you, too, Paul.”
She strode from the room, still very much carrying off that ‘lady in the street’ vibe she’d always had.
“I like her,” Marie said. “She’d make an excellent assistant.”
I glanced at her, and she shrugged a small smile, not quite a smirk, forming on her lips.
“Yes, I know you two have history, but she’s competent, charming and ... well ... I like her. I think I’d like working with her.”
I arched an eyebrow. “You’re the boss, I guess. It’s your call. Sound her out during the party. See if she’s interested.”
“I might just do that.” She paused. “Paul?”
I looked at her again. “Yes?”
“When the time comes ... When you pass the bottle around the rest of us, I know you’ll ask and—”
“I won’t ask if you don’t want me to.”
She smiled.
“There’s no need to ask. The answer is yes.”
Lana, on my other side, said, “Marie, are you sure?”
Marie nodded. “I told you both on the plane, I’ll know when the time is right, and when the occasion is right. Well, the time is right. The occasion is special enough. And not because of what you’re opening, but because of why.”
I took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay.” I paused. “Thank you. That ... That means a lot.”
She nodded but said nothing. Helen then returned with more than just the three she’d gone to collect.
“Lily, what are you doing here?” Pete said.
“Hi, Daddy.” Lily immediately went over to hug her father. After the hug, Pete looked over at me, but he clearly spotted the glasses on the table, because his eyes lingered on them. He frowned and mouthed the word, ‘three.’
Finally, he looked up at me as I strode over to greet him and the others. “Paul, what’s going on?”
I held my hand to him, and he took it. “You’ll see, Pete. You’ll see.” I grinned. That was the first time I’d called him ‘Pete’ without him prompting me to do so. He arched an eyebrow and smiled.
“I look forward to it. But so help me God, if you—”
“Trust me,” I said. “Please.”
He nodded.