Chapter 4

I opened my eyes slowly, my hand still shielding my face as the harsh light softened into a dim glow. Blinking away the lingering brightness, I found myself once again surrounded by thick foliage on the island. The reality of my situation sank in—I had expected to return to normal life, uncertain whether Aisha and I would share a future together. Yet here I was, stranded in this wilderness with no warning or explanation.

I looked around in the familiar surroundings, recognizing the same island as I moved through, brushing away the thick vines. Is Aisha here with me somewhere? At that very moment I heard a bloodcurdling scream as I whipped my head toward the sound—it sounded like Aisha. I rushed through the jungle, leaping over raised roots until I saw her; she wore her red dress, hair braided with her heels. Not far away looking from behind, just as I was about to call out, I saw another version of me appear in front of her. “Just extend your leg and step over the centipede,” I heard myself say as he extended his hand. “What? Centipedes are supposed to be small,” she shouted back as he pulled her toward him, forcing her to instinctively jump over the centipede.

As the scene unfolded before me, confusion clouded my thoughts. I watched, dumbstruck, as they vanished from view. What was happening? I followed at a distance, trailing their path through the dense foliage. They strolled side by side, their voices mingling in casual conversation and playful teasing. In that moment, I sensed the first hints of ease forming between Aisha and the other me.

I called out, uncertain of how they might react. “Aisha!” I stood just a few feet away, sure my voice would reach them, but they continued on as if I hadn’t spoken at all. Moving directly into their path did nothing—I was invisible, a phantom witnessing events that could not be altered.

It felt like watching a scripted scene—predetermined, unchangeable, replaying moments I knew by heart. The days ahead were mapped out in my mind: our first kiss, the excited “YESSSS!” erupting from that other version of me as the night deepened. In the flickering light of the campfire I’d built for the first time ever, I caught a glimpse of that pivotal threshold we were crossing together. “It’s ALIVE, Aisha!” I’d heard myself exclaim triumphantly, chuckling inwardly at my own corny reference. Aisha had been right all along—I really was an ass.

Then they kissed for the first time, I was crouched directly across from them as their lips met in a fervent embrace. Every fiber of my being ached to trade places with him; the sight burned into my vision as hot tears blurred my eyes.

I trailed behind them aimlessly, the hollow emptiness inside me momentarily eased by their presence. From a distance, I observed Aisha undress near the water’s edge; her dark skin shimmered under the intense sunlight as she waded into the sea. Later, I witnessed them come together passionately beneath a tree, their bodies entwined and exposed. I positioned myself so close that I could study every contour of her form—the curve of her spine, the soft angle of her jaw—that other version of me never noticed as she pressed against him.

The events unfolded precisely as I’d foreseen, each gesture and uttered phrase a perfect mimicry of my own actions. Even the suggestive remark about biting and sucking the padanus fruit played out exactly as planned.

The near-disaster with the cabin seat lodged in the tree unfolded exactly as I remembered — yet witnessing it from the outside was something else entirely. I watched the other version of me scramble down with frantic urgency, his movements stripped of every careful calculation, every measured response. Nothing engineered about it. Just pure instinct driving him toward her before she could fall.

When he got to her and pulled her into his arms, I saw his face clearly for the first time — the raw relief flooding his expression, the way his eyes closed briefly as he held her. That was the face of a man who had just understood something he had not known a moment before.

He was terrified of losing her. Not of failing to solve a problem. Not of a situation beyond his engineering capabilities. Terrified of losing her specifically — this woman, this particular person in his arms.

I had never seen my own face look like that. I had never known that expression existed in me.

Standing invisible in that jungle watching myself hold Aisha, I finally understood what she had always been to me — long before I had the words for it.

I trailed them through every shared moment, witnessing their love unfurl like petals in sunlight. The memory of Aisha playfully shoving him into the stream brought laughter to my lips as it played our in realtime. I witnessed us entwined again, our bodies moving together with that familiar rhythm. And then it happened—I heard my own voice speaking words I’d never dared utter before, telling her plainly that he loved her.

With a sense of foreboding, I watched as my past self stepped into that vicious bear trap. Every detail burned itself into my mind—the sudden shock twisting my face, the searing pain that contorted my features as Aisha desperately tried to soothe me. Holding my trembling form close, she whispered reassurances that did little to quell the agony. For the first time, I witnessed myself succumb entirely to the overwhelming torment; consciousness slipped away as distant footsteps approached—men in green advancing with rifles drawn. Through the haze of fading awareness, I saw Aisha’s swift, valiant effort to pull me into the concealment of nearby bushes.