The Privy Report 2
Copyright© 2026 by Old Grey Duck
Chapter 48
Q: What type of soap does a dolphin use? A: All porpoise cleaner.
Two friends are sitting at a bar and one sighs. The other asks what is wrong.
“I don’t get it, the friend answers. You go to an animal shelter to get a dog and people think you’re great. But if you go to a woman’s shelter to get a girlfriend, people lose their minds!”
It’s a sad fact that movie complexes are growing both in size, meaning the number of theaters in the facility, cost for tickets and snacks, and assorted other options. When I do the grandpa thing and take the grandkids out to see something, between dinner, the cost of tickets and everything else, its well over $150 total.
A while back, I called my son and asked a simple question. “Have you ever taken the kids to the drive in movie theater?” To my astonishment, the answer was “No.”
Drive in theaters are rare these days. At one point, there were theaters of this type all across the country and the family would go see the latest release together. It was an adventure! Often, the theater would show a double feature, with a movie geared towards children shown first, and then one for the parents. We would go, sometimes with another family we knew parked next to us, and the kids would run around and play at the playground in the corner. As twilight approached, a voice was heard over the loudspeakers that the show would start in a few minutes, so we needed to get snacks ASAP and get back to the car.
Sweetie giggled and she told me a few of her own drive in theater memories as a girl in Australia, when she and her two older brothers went to see something together. And like my parents, hers also packed a cooler full of drinks and snacks, so we didn’t pay extortion prices for a hot dog, popcorn and a drink.
So one Friday, we picked up the grandkids and told them we were going on an ‘adventure’ together. Buddy and Missy looked doubtful but decided to tough it out. Grandpa was known for dragging them along to see and do things that often turned out to be fun. We got to the theater and I paid the entry fee.
“So this is how people saw movies ‘back in the day’ when you were a kid?”
“Yes, but we had to occasionally stop the projectors to allow a break when a herd of dinosaurs wandered through the area and blocked the view.” Not sure if they thought I was joking or not. Then I told them that there were 10 rules for watching a movie at the drive in.
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