The Privy Report 2
Copyright© 2026 by Old Grey Duck
Chapter 47
A group of three anthropologists are exploring the jungles of South America. They find themselves suddenly surrounded by a tribe of REALLY pissed off indigenous people. Eventually they were able to communicate through a what some might call a basic river dialect. The chief stood in front of the three as they were tied up and kneeling before him.
“You have trespassed on sacred grounds! The gods are furious! Now, you must choose your fate! Death, or, Mahgoombah!”
Not really liking the first option, one of the anthropologists thinks to himself, “Well, if nothing else I will live and learn something about this culture.” So he says “I choose Magoombah!”
The chief nods and behind him, his people start chanting. “Mah-Goom-Bah! Mah-Goom-Bah!” The first anthropologist is dragged up, stripped and is beaten and raped to within an inch of his life. But ... He is still alive.
The second man realizes he is not going to enjoy things, but his friend survived and he figured that he can as well. “I also choose Magoombah.”
The chief nods and behind him, his people start chanting. “Mah-Goom-Bah! Mah-Goom-Bah!” The second anthropologist is dragged up, stripped and is beaten and raped to within an inch of his life. But ... He is still alive.
The third anthropologist looks up and spits in the face of the chief. “Fuck you! I’m a MAN. So I choose DEATH!”
The chief pauses a moment then nods. He turns to his people. “This MAN has chosen death. But first...
MAH-GOOM-BAH!”
It’s a hot summer day, and two little boys, Andy and Bobby, are running through the woods, playing like little boys do. Climbing trees and having fun. At one point, they end up near a stream and to their surprise a pretty teenage girl they knew was skinny-dipping, enjoying the cool water. They hide in the bushes to watch her for a few minutes, and suddenly Andy jumps up and runs off. After a moment, Bobby follows.
“Hey? Are you okay?” Bobby asked his friend who now looks frightened.
“No! A while back, my mama told me that if I ever saw a naked girl I would turn to stone like Lot’s wife in the bible! I got out of there just in time!”
“What do you mean?”
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