Chapter 45

I’m sorry that you seem to be having a bad day. But I know that you’ll do great and pull through it. I believe in you! Mind you, I also believe in ghosts, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster. But still...

I wonder if anteaters think fire ants are the “Flamin’ Hot Cheetos” of the insect world?

There was a time when seeing someone outside wearing pajamas meant the house was on fire. Not going shopping at Walmart.

Macaroni and cheese is often just called “mac” but I wonder. Is that short for “macaroni” or is it an acronym for Macaroni And Cheese?

Archeologists have uncovered what they believe are the oldest stones known to man. A chance discovery in Wiltshire has shed new light on the activities of Neolithic Man. The stones, Mick and Keith, were found passed out in a field. One expert stated “What exactly the stones were doing there remains one of the great mysteries of our time. They sure as hell can’t remember!”

Don’t panic! There’s always an alternative! (Finding one that works, however... )

Life is confusing. Snacks help.

Paper towel commercials are SO fake! It’s always a kid spilling milk on the table. How about some reality? Like a cat puking up a hairball?

The electric Dodge Charger has speakers in the front bumper to to sound like an actual muscle car. That’s like an inflatable love doll that moans. (“Oh baby! Oh baby!”)

Recently, Sweetie and I attended another big family BBQ over at my daughter-in-laws parents house. I have to admit that Adam is a master in the art of slow cooking meat. Tina is a wife who just stays out of the yard when the man is in his element. As we are the same age, we will often joke about things that men our age joke about. The topic of cars came up. We shared how as teenagers, we learned how to figure out and fix whatever was wrong (within reason) on an old car that if you attempted to try and fix today would require thousands of dollars in specialized computer based equipment. And if you touched anything, kiss the warranty goodbye. I ‘cut my teeth’ on figuring out stuff on an old 1970 Ford Maverick, while he had a late 1960’s VW. There was lots of room in the front after lifting the hood so I could get in there to work. Adam used to joke that every time he worked on his VW and but everything back together, there was always an extra bolt or nut or something that he had no clue what it was for. “The car always ran fine,” he said. “I just figured that if I took it apart and put it back together enough times, I would have enough pieces to make a second car!”