The Privy Report 2
Copyright© 2026 by Old Grey Duck
Chapter 42
A biker is zooming down the road and crosses a bridge. On the other side is a highway patrol officer with a radar gun. The biker gets pulled over and the cop asks with a smirk; “Where were you going at such a high rate of speed?”
The biker states he was on his way to work. When asked what he does at work, the biker says; “I’m a rectum stretcher.”
“What the hell is that?” the cop asks.
“Well,” the biker stated, “I start by inserting one finger in the provided rectum, then two, three and so on, maying it stretch until I can fit my entire hand in it. I work it from side to side to make it even larger to the point that I can fit my second hand in it, and continue gradually stretching it furter open, until it is about six feet.”
“And just what do you do with a six foot rectum?” the cop asks.
“Give it a radar gun and park it behind a bridge.”
Due to the high cost of living, if you can’t afford a doctor, just go to the airport. They will give you an x-ray, and if you are female, a breast exam. As a bonus, if you mention Al Qaeda, they will include a free colonostomy.
Every year for four years, a lawyer took a weeks vacation at the same country inn. On the last trip, he finally managed to spend a few nights with the inn keepers beautiful daughter.
On the fifth year, he was eagerly looking forward to seeing her again. He checked in and went to his room where he found her sitting on the bed, holding an infant. Stopping short, he asked...
“Why didn’t you tell me that you were pregnant with my child? I would have rushed right back here! We could have gotten married and the baby would have my name!”