The Privy Report 2 - Cover

The Privy Report 2

Copyright© 2026 by Old Grey Duck

Chapter 41

A Star Is Born. (Grandpa Brag.)

“Oh my god, I thought I was gonna barf!”

That delightful statement was from my granddaughter, Missy, after her stand up comedy debut happened. You might recall my request for help narrowing down the possible material for Missy to present during an ‘open mike’ some humor for the Girl Scout Council Leaders to enjoy just before the official quarterly meetings. (There was a really good pot-luck dinner as well!)

Standing in front of the room, she looked nervous, but I caught her eye, gave her a thumbs up and whispered “You got this!” And off she went. Sure, most of the jokes here puns, but she had a few other things that had everyone roaring. She had about ten minutes of time blocked, so she wasn’t able to use most of the materials she had, but more often than not, she got some really good laughs.

Wrapping up she opened a large picture that was taken at the Sacramento Zoo last fall. It was Sweetie standing by the enclosure for the kangaroos. You could see one not that far away and it was looking towards everyone with curiosity. “So the reason I started telling jokes is because of my grandpa. He seems pretty smart and knows a lot of stuff.” She held up the picture. “Like when I saw this picture and asked about it. He said, ‘One is slightly crazy, has a temper and if you’re not careful, it will beat you sensless. But has a loving and devoted heart for family. The other is a Kangaroo. But they are both from Australia!’”

I was silent as laughter filled the room. I was worried that Sweetie would be upset. I look over and she is giggling and suddenly yells out: “Fair Dinkum, Sheila!”

(Note: We had 43 people reply to our request for votes on the jokes. WOW! Missy and I wish to offer our thanks for your feedback.)


Did you know that a single sperm cell carries 37.5 megabytes of DNA information in it? And one ejaculation has, on the average, a data transfer of 1587.5 terabytes? I know. That’s an awful lot of information to swallow.


ME vs. THE COFFEE

I don’t need coffee to function. I need it to negotiate with reality.

My coffee gets cold because I spend too much time deciding what to do next.

 
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