The Privy Report 2
Copyright© 2026 by Old Grey Duck
Chapter 38
PERKATORY: The term used for the agonizing wait for that next, fresh, pot of coffee to be ready.
Someone asked me: “How is life going?”
My answer? “Everything is going well. My money is going. My health is going. My sleep is going. My hair is going. My peace of mind is going. Everything is going. In fact, you’re talking to what is left.”
A man wakes up in a hospital room. He is attached to all the usual tubes and wires. Looking around, he noticed that the window blinds were closed and he couldn’t see anything outside. Eventually, a nurse comes in and does the usual things. Temperature, blood pressure, and so on. The man asks why the windows are closed up.
“There are several wildfires burning across the river. We’re safe for now.”
“So why cover the windows?” the man asked.
“Well,” the nurse smiled, “you’re a lawyer. We didn’t want you waking up and think the operation failed.”
So it seems that the term “Naked Hiking” means “No music, no phone, no GPS.” I really wish someone had clarified that for me sooner.
A man goes into a post office to check his mailbox. In the lobby, he sees a second man with a stack of what looks to be 100 Valentines day cards in pink envelopes. The second man is putting stamps on them. Then, he spritzes each envelope with perfume.
“What are you doing?” the first man asks.
“I pre addressed these to go out to random people. Inside I wrote ‘I Love You! - X’ and now I’m sending them out.”
The first man was surprised. “Why are you doing that?”
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