The Privy Report 2
Copyright© 2026 by Old Grey Duck
Chapter 24
There was an old Scotsman who was notoriously cheap. His miserly ways were well known. One afternoon, he decided that he wanted to go to a brothel for the evening and spend some time with one of the ladies there. He got there and the Madam introduced him to several young and beautiful girls. He selected one and they went up to her room.
Once there, she asked him what he wanted to do. She also told him that her rate was $500 an hour.
“Lass, I want to fuck your belly button!”
The girl said that nobody had ever made that request of her and she wanted to know why that was his choice.
“Well, Lass, for $500, I want me a hole that has never been used before!”
One Summer day, a little girl, age 6, watched a new house being built across the street. She wandered over to watch, and the crew took a shine to her, answering questions and letting her sit in the open with them on lunch break. Friday afternoon, the foreman handed her an envelope with $50 cash as “pay” for her “helping out” on the job site.
Running home, she excitedly told her mother (who had been keeping watch all week). Her mother asked what the little girl wanted to do with her money. “Can I open a savings account?” she answered.
The next day at the bank, a manager helped set up the new account as the little girl told the manager how she had “worked” with the construction crew. “That’s wonderful! Will you be working next week?”
The little girl was quiet for a moment then she answered...
“Sure, if the assholes from Home Depot ever show up with the fucking shingles for the roof!”
When a woman says that she loves her children more than her husband, she is clearly telling a lie. She will often leave her children with her neighbor, but she will NEVER leave her husband alone for a minute with her!!
On October 18, 1963, French scientists launched a rocket carrying a cat named Felicette into space. She traveled nearly 100 miles above the earth and safely returned by parachute. Thus, she became (to the best of our knowledge) the only cat to ever travel into space.
I’m at the age where ‘Happy Hour’ is an uninterrupted nap.
Why is every “smart” appliance in my house trying to start an argument?
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