The Privy Report 2
Copyright© 2026 by Old Grey Duck
Chapter 12
Three little old ladies were relaxing on a bench in the park. From the bushes emerged a man wearing only sneakers and a trench coat. He stood in front of them, smiled, and opened his coat to give them a shock.
The first lady had a stroke.
The second lady had a stroke.
The third lady couldn’t reach.
When she was younger, Sweetie lived with her grandmother in London. She showed me a picture of herself standing near one of the ‘Beefeaters’ on duty, in front of the Tower of London. (The people in the red uniform with the tall black hat, astride a horse, wearing somber expressions.) So, in case anyone was wondering...
The tall black hats are made from actual fur from Canadian bears.
Guards are strictly forbidden from laughing or smiling when on duty. If seen doing so, by a superior officer or supervisor, the guard can be fined $200 per offense.
The rifles they carry are unloaded, unless there is a high security alert of some type.
If a tourist gets too close, the guard must shout; “Make way for the Queen’s guard!” They also have code words for specific types of tourists, to communicate without breaking form.
Duty shifts only last two hours due to the high concentration required.
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