Chapter 6

Do you know that feeling of forlorn, nostalgia, and melancholy? Like, all three rolled into one, is there a single word to describe it? I’m gonna do a quick google search ... Google AI had this to say: The combined feeling of forlorn (sad, abandoned, lonely), nostalgia (sentimental longing for the past), and melancholy (deep, pensive sadness) is a complex, bittersweet emotional state. It is a “poignant joy” or “tender ache” that arises when cherishing memories while simultaneously grieving that they are unrecoverable.

Here is a breakdown of this emotional state, its causes, and its impact: 1. Key Terminology for this Feeling Saudade (Portuguese): A deep, emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves, often carrying a repressed knowledge that the object of longing might never return.

Bittersweet Nostalgia: A mix of warmth for the memory and an ache for its absence.

Vemod (Swedish): A tender, pensive melancholy or wistful sadness, often mixed with longing, for something lost, past, or distant.

Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time or place one has never known.

Mono no Aware (Japanese): The “pathos of things,” or a deep, gentle sadness at the impermanence of life.

I feel this now, having finished a few books (like three, maybe four in the past month) and completing a long-term project. Like damn, why?! Emotions are so ... so human and yet so irrational at the same time! It’s maddening! Worse being a female too subject to hormonal insanity. I feel kinda bad for the guys in my life but, they stick with me and I don’t get it. Don’t misconstrue, I adore my guys, I appreciate them more than they will ever know. I really need to work on showing them my appreciation too, in my observations, guys don’t get the recognition these days that they ought to. Like seriously. Okay, in general no one seems to really celebrate things that really should be celebrated, but guys especially keep getting the short end of the stick. I don’t expect much from anyone anymore, but c’mon people, when someone holds the door for you, thank them! When someone looks to be having a bad day, don’t berate them! You really don’t know the demons they faced just to get up today.