Chapter 1

Paul and Nikki first met at university in the year of 2004. Paul had just started the final year of his Chemical Engineering course, while Nikki was in the second year of her MRS degree--a bachelor’s in English.

According to Paul, Nikki’s timidity was only an illusion. He said it was a posture many Burmese girls adopted to meet society’s expectations. “Burmese women are expected to be graceful and quiet,” he said. “These are considered to be the prime qualities of a ‘good’ woman.”

But the side Nikki showed Paul in private was nothing like that. She was open, assertive and did not shy away from breaking social norms. During the five years they dated, she was the one who set the tone and pace of their relationship.

For Paul, it was pure luck that his 22-year-old virgin self had managed to land such a beauty. During his first three years at university, he had tried desperately to get a girlfriend, but all he encountered was rejection after rejection.

Even in his late thirties, as he recounted the story to us, Paul wasn’t ugly. But he definitely lacked the charm and confidence a man needed to excite a girl. That was even more true in his early twenties, and by the time he met Nikki, he had already given up trying.

It was a friend of Paul who set him up with Nikki. At the time, Nikki was barely 20 and had just come out of the protective shell Burmese girls often had during their first year at university. She was quite new to the world of dating and had never got any chance to explore. So, she accepted Paul, who just so happened to be in the right place at the right time.

As with most couples in Burma, their relationship mainly revolved around going on dates. They went to various restaurants in Yangon, and amusement parks were their favourite places to be. But the place they went more often than the rest was the shopping mall next to their university.