Chapter 1

“Mom, I am not going in there like this!” I heard a woman’s voice from outside the ER.

“Get your disgraceful butts in here or so help me I will leave you outside in the parking lot and you can walk home!” The woman yelling at them was the quintessential Karen type. Short blonde hair with frosted tips, polo shirt, stonewashed jeans, designer sunglasses. She was the bane of every assistant manager in retail and restaurants.

They both spoke in the entitled southern accent that I call “Alabama Nobility,” old money that tried to put on airs of superiority.

I worked the overnight shift at an ER in a sleepy suburb just outside of the University of Alabama main campus in Tuscaloosa near Indian Hills. It’s a high-class country club neighborhood, and we rarely dealt with shootings or serious issues. We did have some pretty fun ER stories, and this one was definitely the most memorable.

“At least, get me a coat or something,” I heard the woman say through the sliding glass door. It sounded like she was more than just a little reluctant.

I was not an orderly or a nurse; my job was to remain at the front desk. I wasn’t about to go over and see what was happening because I had a small line of people waiting to get appointments and we were short a doctor. He’d overslept after a long shift and was supposed to be on his way.

“Look, if you and your sister want to wait outside all night, you can wave all the cars driving by and I can go home and get some sleep, Julie. I didn’t want to deal with this.”

“How many people are in there?” the girl asked sheepishly after a pause.

“Julie Barker,” the mother stated her daughter’s name like it was a code word that meant she was tired of putting up with her trifling bullshit. “There are fewer people in here than were at the frat party you and your sister attended tonight, and you didn’t seem to mind any of them seeing you naked. Now is NOT the time for modesty. That time is long gone. Do you want that carrot out of your ass or not?”

Oh, this was going to be good. We rarely ever got anyone who ‘accidentally’ fell on a butt plug and couldn’t get it out. I eagerly hoped that Julie would have the courage to walk in the door.

There were about six other patients waiting in chairs, and even the people in line at the desk turned their heads to watch the spectacle at the front door.

“This is so embarrassing,” Julie waddled into the emergency room very slowly. I could tell by the patients covering their mouths in shock that they were trying to hide tittering laughter, and I knew that meant this must not be serious.

“What about my reputation?” the young woman asked.

“That ship sailed a long time ago, and after the videos your friends showed me of you going down on all those boys and having sex with them at that college party, I think you don’t have any reputation to worry about.”

I recognized the woman as soon as her head came into view. Julie Barker was a cheerleader for the Crimson Tide. I was working my way through college there and didn’t plan to specialize in medicine. This job was just convenient and I could read and study when it was slow.

“Oh god, there are so many people,” she winced. Julie had body paint on her face. I couldn’t make it out, it looked like dirty words, drawings of penises, toilets, urinals, and the word “CUNT” was written in bright red. Someone had done a pretty thorough job of covering her sexy, voluptuous body completely.

“Is she naked?” I heard a patient ask from his chair. I assumed it was rhetorical. Everyone could see her well-tanned, sexy tits were covered in red and white Alabama paint that was made up to look like a shooting target. She wore a leather dog collar and belt, and had a well-trimmed landing strip.

“Yep, sorry about that, everybody; my daughters are foolish pigs,” their mom said loud enough that it probably sent chills through the girls. She clearly had little sympathy for her daughter.

“Hurry it up, Julie. You too, Lydia. This isn’t going to be any easier if you drag it out. You may as well hustle and stop glowering at me! You did this to yourselves!”

“How did I super glue my hands to my own butt cheeks, Mom? Tell me?” Julie sneered with a serious expression that made the outlandish question sound comical.

“You told those college boys to do anything you want to you. Do you want me to show your father the video of you begging them to use you like a fuck doll and cum in your ass?”

I was supposed to remain aloof, detached, and professional, but I was only human. I was snickering just like everybody else.

“Everybody can hear you, Mom!”

Our ER wasn’t like some busy Chicago emergency room. It was quiet, like a church with vaulted ceilings, and very sobering. At night, it wasn’t well-lit because we operated with minimal staff. I was alone at the desk.

“I know that, Julie! They can SEE you. If you think my Alabama accent is going to offend some people, just wait until they get a load of that dirty word on your head.”

“I didn’t ask them to write that, Mom!” Julie frowned as she moved ever so slowly into full view. I could tell she was walking with some difficulty. She didn’t look like she was in any pain or suffering from an injury.

“You could have fooled me. You sure did act like a cunt, so they must have written cunt on your forehead so that everybody else would know!”

The big red word “Cunt” matched Julie’s blushing cheeks. She didn’t attend any of my classes, but I’d seen her around campus giggling with her friends. Julie ran in a completely different circle than me, considering I didn’t have any actual friends. I doubted she’d recognize me, but the look of shock on her face suggested otherwise. I was somewhat flattered.