Gatekeeper's Secret
Copyright© 2026 by Fick Suck
Chapter 8
The alarm on his cell phone was jarring, and Grady shot straight up before toppling off the bed onto the rug. He had been trapped underground with a bunch of arguing aliens trying to find the back exit through weird corridors. After getting dressed, he skipped the coffee and popped open a can of Mountain Dew. He chased that down with a couple of dry granola bars.
Enrique drove up to the house. Together, they wrestled the mattress into the bedroom and took the old one out to Enrique’s truck. Someone he knew needed a new mattress and the discard looked easily usable to him. By the time they finished, the solar crew had already begun.
Down at the front of the property, Enrique’s brother, Chano, had already started the Ditch Witch and was guiding the trenching tool westward, parallel to the road. About a quarter mile down, a tiny cliff about chest high erupted again from the ground and continued westward, mostly uninterrupted, for twenty-two miles. Grady suspected the cliff was the same as the one that ended just before the bend in the road on the right side of the ranch entrance. The cliff was high enough to keep vehicles and horses out without further fencing. Every three or four years, someone had to travel the stretch of rock eastward and westward to post new “No Trespassing” signs though.
Grady’s cell phone chimed with a text message. “Someone lit a cow-patty-with-fireworks bomb in the main hallway. They pulled the fire alarm too. Hazmat just arrived. Wanna come pick us up? -R”
Grady glanced over at Enrique and Chano, who clearly did not need his help until the cement pour cured. “Leaving now,” he texted.
When he arrived, he waited in a short line of cars picking up their children. Randy opened the passenger door and ushered in Laia and then climbed in himself, hoisting Darla into his lap. Grady tried to suppress his surprise by throwing his truck into gear and slowly pulling away. “Where are we going today?”
“Aren’t you going to say ‘hello’ to Laia?” Darla asked.
“Well,” Grady said, gathering his thoughts. “First, I would like to ascertain if she is here under her own free will, that you didn’t isekai her nor trick her into joining our raiding party.” He gave her a look with a raised eyebrow.
“Are you suggesting your friends kidnapped me?” Laia asked with a straight face.
“Let me put it to you this way, Ms. Alvarez: It wouldn’t be the first time,” Grady said as he turned left at the light. “On the other hand, they have good taste.”
“Oo, you didn’t tell me he had the devil’s tongue,” Laia said to Darla. “He is always so polite in the grocery store line.”
“Camouflage,” Randy piped in. “Small town, big ears, and mouths that never stop running. Let’s go to the Vomit Comet.”
“No, not there,” Laia said. “My friend’s mother is the day manager there and I don’t want adults to know my business. I get enough tagging throughout the day.”
“Grilled cheese and potato chips at the O.K. Corral, then,” Grady said. “I hear the chef is celebrity trained in Paris and has over a million followers on Instagram.”
“Someone is confusing dreams with reality again,” Randy said. “Still, if you’re volunteering to cook, I’m game. We can shoot cans out back afterwards.”
“Aren’t you cowboys supposed to go out hunting your dinner, not cans?” Laia asked.
Darla snorted, “The only thing Randy is good at hunting is pussy, but I’ve already bagged and tagged his ass. He can howl at the moon all he wants, but he’s not going anywhere.”
Grady let the silence seep into the cab for a moment. “I keep a .22 by the backdoor because snakes can be an issue in the warm weather. If the rattlers are by the buildings, they’re either hungry, or lost and hungry. They don’t get hungry when they’re near the buildings though, they get ‘hangry.’”
“Good to know,” Laia said. “So, you’re the real cowboy, Grady, and Randy’s the pretend one.”
Randy squawked.
“I hate to tell this sad story, Laia. Randy was a real cowboy once, but then he sidled up to Darla one day. He didn’t know she was a horse whisperer. She whispered in his ear and before he knew it, he was flat on his face, roped and tied like a pig to slaughter with a big shit-eatin’ grin on his face. I like to think that she domesticated him, brought out some of his finer qualities and excised some of the other attributes. I understand that he now wears clean underwear every day.”
“Do you wear clean underwear every day, Grady?” Laia asked with a deep grin.
“Laia, that is quite a personal question you’re posing.” He matched her grin before putting eyes back on the road. “Maybe you should put that question to me when our friends aren’t around ... tagging us.”
“O my, it is getting hot in here,” Darla said, flapping her hand in front of her face.
“You say that every time you sit on Randy’s lap,” Grady said, still keeping his eyes on the road. “I think you do it deliberately.”
“Me, too,” Randy chipped in. “Hot Darla in my lap is what I call a good day.”
Laia chuckled, nudging Grady with her elbow. “They don’t act like this in school.”
“It’s the truck,” Grady said. “There’s nothing like a big old truck to get folks in the mood. I bet if we kicked them out of the truck right now, all the lovey-dovey would disappear. Want to experiment?”
“Asshole!”
“I thought you were my friend and Darla’s right, you are an asshole,” Randy said.
“Thus, my friends prove my point, Laia. They appreciate my truck for the aphrodisiac that it is.” Grady was driving with his left hand on the wheel. Laia slid her arm inside Grady’s right arm and squeezed it tight without saying a word. He broke out into another smile.
Darla launched into an inquisition concerning one of their mutual acquaintances. The other three all had opinions and analysis to add while Grady held his peace. Soon enough, he pulled the truck into his drive. The Rivera brothers were making great progress. They were pretty far down the road and the trench looked straight.
When he pulled up to the back of the house, the solar crew chief gave a quick wave of hello and went back to his work. Grady figured the man knew what to do and did not need prodding. He led his friends into the house, where he offered them the couch and a soda. He glanced at the clock before he caught the exchange of looks between Randy and Darla.
“I’ve moved into the master bedroom, guys,” Grady announced, as if he was talking about the weather. “Laia, since you’ve never been here before, would you like a tour of the place? It’s still a little early for lunch.” Without waiting for an answer, he took Laia’s hand and led her out the back door.
“Are they going to...” Laia started to ask and then stopped.
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