Chapter 17: Falling Apart

Two years after the wedding, Emily stood in the middle of their Brooklyn apartment, surveying her work with satisfaction. She’d spent the entire morning cleaning, scrubbing surfaces that didn’t need scrubbing, fluffing pillows that were already fluffy. The tiny space gleamed.

“Em, they’ve seen messy apartments before,” Sophie called from the bedroom, where she was working on her laptop. “You don’t need to sterilize the place.”

“I want it to look nice,” Emily said, adjusting the flowers she’d bought for the coffee table. Bright yellow sunflowers that brought warmth to their small living room. “They’d been to New York for the wedding two years ago, but they’d never actually visited the apartment. I want them to see we’re doing well.”

Sophie appeared in the doorway, wearing sweatpants and one of Emily’s old art school t-shirts. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun, and she had her reading glasses on. She looked beautiful in that casual, unguarded way that still made Emily’s heart skip.

“We are doing well,” Sophie said, but there was something in her voice. Tension, maybe. “I just wish the timing was better. I have that mix due Monday morning and I’m nowhere near finished.”

“I know,” Emily said, walking over to wrap her arms around Sophie’s waist. “But they’ll only be here for the weekend. Friday night to Sunday afternoon. You can work while we’re out doing touristy stuff.”

Sophie’s jaw tightened slightly. “Yeah. That’s exactly what I want. To hole up in our bedroom working while you entertain guests.”

“Soph...”

“It’s fine.” Sophie kissed Emily’s forehead. “I’m just stressed about the deadline. I’m sorry. Your friends are coming and I’ll be nice and social and everything will be great.”

But Emily heard what Sophie wasn’t saying. That the timing was bad. That having three guests in their already cramped apartment for an entire weekend sounded exhausting. That Sophie had been working seventy-hour weeks for the past month and needed rest, not houseguests.

“Maybe I should have asked you first,” Emily said quietly. “Before I told them they could come.”

Sophie pulled back to look at her face. “Em, they’re your best friends. Of course they can visit. I’m just being grumpy because I’m tired. Don’t worry about it.”

But Emily was worrying about it. She could see the stress lines around Sophie’s eyes, the way her shoulders were hunched from tension. The recording studio where Sophie worked had been demanding more and more from her, and Sophie never said no. She took every project, worked every late night, pushed herself until she was running on fumes and coffee.

“When’s the last time you slept a full eight hours?” Emily asked.

“I don’t know. Tuesday?”

“Soph, that was five days ago.”

“I’ll sleep when the project is done.” Sophie squeezed Emily’s hand. “What time are they getting here?”

“Their train gets in at six. I’m meeting them at Penn Station.”

“Okay. I’ll order pizza for dinner. That way nobody has to cook.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Em, I’m not going to make you cook for five people in this kitchen.” Sophie gestured at their tiny kitchenette, which barely had counter space for one person to work. “Pizza is easy. Everyone likes pizza. It’s fine.”

Emily wanted to argue, but she could see Sophie was already mentally back in her work. That distant look in her eyes that meant she was thinking about sound mixing and audio levels instead of the conversation happening in front of her.

“Okay,” Emily said. “Pizza sounds good.”

Sophie kissed her once more, quick and distracted, then retreated back to the bedroom. Emily heard the laptop keys clicking almost immediately.

She looked around the apartment again. It was clean. It was as ready as it could be. But that anxious feeling in her chest wouldn’t go away. The sense that something was already off balance before her friends even arrived.

Emily shook her head. She was overthinking. Lola, Tiffany, and Erika were her oldest friends. They’d known her since elementary school. They’d been at her wedding. Everything would be fine.

Except they hadn’t talked much since the wedding. A few texts here and there. Some phone calls that felt stilted and awkward. The distance between New York and home had become more than just miles. It had become a gulf of different choices, different lives, different priorities.

Emily picked up her phone and texted the group chat: Can’t wait to see you guys tonight! It’s been too long.

The responses came quickly.

Lola: SO EXCITED! I’ve missed you so much!

Tiffany: Train is on time. See you soon!

Erika: Bringing wine. Lots of wine.

Emily smiled, trying to ignore the small voice in her head that wondered if two years of distance could be bridged in a single weekend.

Penn Station at six on a Friday evening was chaos. Emily pushed through the crowds of commuters, tourists, and travelers, scanning the arrival board for the track number. When she finally spotted Lola’s blonde hair in the crowd, she felt a surge of genuine happiness mixed with unexpected nervousness.

“Lola!” Emily waved both arms over her head.

“Em!” Lola broke away from Tiffany and Erika, running across the station floor. They collided in a hug that lifted Emily off her feet. “Oh my god, look at you! You look so New York!”

Emily laughed, hugging Tiffany and Erika in turn. But the embraces felt slightly different than she remembered. Slightly more formal. Like they were greeting someone they used to know well but weren’t quite sure about anymore.

“What does that even mean?” Emily asked.

“I don’t know, you just look different. More sophisticated or something.” Lola held Emily at arm’s length, studying her. “Your hair is longer. Are you wearing designer jeans?”

“These are from Target.”

“Well, they look expensive.”

They made their way out of the station and toward the subway. Emily noticed her friends exchanging glances as they descended the stairs into the humid underground.

“So we’re taking the subway?” Tiffany asked, gripping her overnight bag tighter.

“Yeah, it’s the fastest way to get to Brooklyn. Plus parking in the city is wild expensive.”

“I thought maybe you’d have a car by now,” Erika said, following Emily through the turnstile.

“Why would we need a car? The subway goes everywhere.”

“I guess.” Erika didn’t sound convinced.

They waited on the platform, and Emily pointed out which train they needed. When it arrived, crowded with Friday evening riders, her friends pressed close together, looking uncomfortable.

“It’s pretty packed,” Lola said, raising her voice over the sound of the train.

“This is normal for rush hour,” Emily said, grabbing a pole for balance as the train lurched forward. “You get used to it.”

But watching her friends’ faces, their obvious discomfort with the crowds and noise and smells of the subway, Emily felt something twist in her stomach. She’d forgotten what it was like to be new to this city. To find the subway overwhelming instead of just part of daily life.

“It’s only a few stops,” Emily said, trying to sound reassuring.

When they emerged from the subway in Brooklyn and started the walk to Emily’s apartment, the mood lifted slightly. The tree-lined streets and brownstones were charming, and the evening air was pleasant.

“This is cute,” Tiffany said, looking around. “Very Brooklyn.”

“Thanks. Sophie and I love this neighborhood.”

They climbed the five flights to Emily’s apartment, and by the time they reached the top, all three friends were breathing hard.

“Five floors,” Lola gasped. “Every single day?”

“It’s good exercise,” Emily said, unlocking the door. “Okay, welcome to our place!”

She held the door open, watching her friends file in. The apartment that had seemed cozy and charming that morning suddenly looked tiny through their eyes. The living room was barely big enough for the couch and coffee table. The kitchen was a galley style that could fit one person comfortably. The bedroom door was visible from the entrance.

“It’s small,” Erika said, then quickly added, “But nice! Very nice. Cozy.”

“Yeah, rent in New York is insane,” Emily said, setting down her keys. “But the location is great, and we can walk to most things we need.”

Sophie emerged from the bedroom, pulling off her headphones. “Hey, everyone. Welcome.”

There was a round of hellos and hugs, though Emily noticed Sophie’s embraces were brief and a bit stiff. She was still in work mode, Emily could tell. Still mentally in the studio even though her body was here.

“Pizza should be here in about thirty minutes,” Sophie said. “I got a variety so hopefully there’s something everyone likes.”

“That’s thoughtful, thanks,” Lola said. “We haven’t seen Em in forever. How have you been?”

Sophie’s smile tightened. “Busy. I have a deadline Monday morning, so I might need to work some this weekend. But I’ll make time to hang out.”

“That’s good,” Tiffany said, though her tone suggested otherwise. “It must be hard, both of you working so much.”

An awkward silence fell. Emily jumped in quickly. “So, let me show you where you’re sleeping. We set up air mattresses in the living room. I know it’s not fancy but...”

“It’s great,” Lola said. “We’re just happy to be here.”

As Emily helped her friends settle in, she caught Sophie’s eye across the apartment. Sophie gave her a tight smile and retreated back to the bedroom, closing the door most of the way.

Emily’s stomach churned. This was already going badly, and they’d only been here ten minutes.

The pizza arrived and they all crowded around the small coffee table, plates balanced on laps. Sophie had ordered well, a variety of toppings that meant everyone found something they liked. For a while, the conversation flowed easily. Talk of people from home, updates on who was married or pregnant or divorced. Gossip about their old high school, which was apparently getting renovated.