First Kiss, Last Kiss, Every Kiss
Copyright© 2026 by SpankLord40k
Chapter 15: Truth
She was standing in a cramped apartment that smelled like stale beer. She looked down at her hands - huge, masculine, rough. Not her hands. She stumbled to a mirror and saw a man in his early twenties staring back. Dark hair, stubble, sharp features.
Lars.
“No,” he tried to say, but the voice was deep, wrong. “I’m Lars -”
Memories flooded in. Lars’s memories. Of this apartment. Of drinking buddies Jake and Marcus. Of being cruel because it was easier than being kind.
Of Sarah with her witch costume. Of mocking her. Of being cruel to her all these years - grabbing, her wand and snapping it in half just to watch her cry.
She felt Lars’s callousness settling over her, drowning out Emily.
“Em! Emily!”
Emily woke screaming, bolt upright, heart hammering. Her whole body shook.
“Em!” Sophie was instantly awake. “What’s wrong?”
Emily stared at her hands - small, delicate, hers. She was gasping, tears streaming down her face.
“It’s okay,” Sophie pulled her close. “It was just a dream.”
“It wasn’t,” Emily choked out. “I was him. I was Lars.”
Sophie pulled back, confusion crossing her face. “Who’s Lars?”
This was it. Fourteen years of carrying this secret. Emily’s heart hammered in her chest.
“I wasn’t always Emily,” Emily said, her voice shaking so badly she could barely get the words out. “I used to be, I was, there was this person and...”
“Hey, slow down,” Sophie said gently, cupping Emily’s face. “Take a breath. I can barely understand you.”
Emily sucked in air, her whole body trembling. “I used to be a man,” she blurted out, the words tumbling over each other. “A twenty-three-year-old man named Lars Morrison and he was Sarah’s older brother and he was horrible and cruel and...”
“Em, breathe,” Sophie interrupted, her voice firmer now. “Slow down. Start from the beginning.”
Emily nodded, tears streaming down her face, trying to steady herself. “Lars. That was ... that was me. Before. When I was ... when he was twenty-three.” The pronouns felt wrong in her mouth, confused. “He, I, god, I don’t even know how to talk about it anymore.”
Sophie’s face had gone very still. “You’re saying you used to be a man? An adult man?”
“Yes.” Emily’s voice cracked. “And Sarah ... Sarah cast a spell. Halloween night. Because Lars, because I, he broke her wand. Just to hurt her. Just to be cruel. And she was so angry and hurt that she and her friends, they did this transformation spell and...”
“Wait.” Sophie held up a hand, pulling back slightly. “Your sister ... turned you from an adult man into a child? Without your permission?”
The way Sophie said it made Emily flinch. “Yes. But...”
“But nothing, Em. That’s...” Sophie stood up from the bed, running her hands through her hair. “That’s insane. That’s beyond insane. She took away your entire life?”
“I know!” Emily was sobbing now. “I know it sounds crazy and wrong and...”
“It doesn’t just sound wrong, it IS wrong!” Sophie’s voice rose, not quite yelling but close. “Emily, she transformed you. Changed your body, your age, your, everything! Without asking!”
“She was fourteen!” Emily defended, then stopped herself. “I mean, I’m not saying it was right, but...”
“She was old enough to know better than to use magic on someone without consent!” Sophie paced the small bedroom. “And you, god, Em, you’ve been carrying this for fourteen years? Our entire relationship, you’ve had this secret and you never...” She stopped, turning to look at Emily with hurt in her eyes. “You never trusted me enough to tell me?”
“I was scared!” Emily’s voice broke completely. “I was terrified you’d leave! That you’d think I was, I don’t even know what, some kind of freak or...”
“A freak?” Sophie’s expression softened slightly, but the hurt was still there. “Em, I wouldn’t think...” She stopped, shaking her head. “But you didn’t give me the chance. You didn’t trust me.”
“I do trust you!” Emily insisted. “I just, Sophie, please, you have to understand, it’s complicated and confusing and sometimes I can barely remember being him at all and...”
“Slow down,” Sophie said again, but gentler this time. She sat back down on the edge of the bed, keeping some distance between them. “Okay. Tell me. All of it. But take your time.”
Emily wiped at her face, trying to steady her breathing. “For six days after the spell, I was just Emmy. Ten years old. The Lars memories ... they faded. Almost completely. By the sixth day, I barely remembered being him at all.”
“And then?”
“Then Sarah told me the truth. One of her friends told her that there is a choice. That if I wanted to go back, to be Lars again, I had to choose before midnight. If I didn’t choose, or if I chose to stay, the spell would be permanent.”
Sophie’s jaw tightened. “She only told you on the sixth day? When you had one day to decide?”
“She didn’t know until then!” Emily said quickly. “Her friends didn’t tell her about the reversal until Friday. She was crying when she told me. She felt so guilty. But also...” Emily’s voice got smaller. “She admitted she hoped I’d stay. That Emmy had been the best little sister.”
“Of course she hoped that,” Sophie said, and there was an edge to her voice. “She’d already spent six days turning you into who she wanted you to be.”
“It wasn’t like that!” Emily protested. “Or maybe it was, I don’t know anymore. But Sophie, Lars was miserable. He was cruel and empty and going nowhere. He had drinking buddies but no real friends. He treated everyone like garbage, especially Sarah. He was just ... hollow inside.”
“And Emmy?”
“Emmy was happy,” Emily whispered. “For the first time in ... in maybe ever, I felt happy. Loved. Our parents actually cared. Sarah was kind to me. I had real friends. When midnight came, I chose to stay. I chose Emmy. And that same night, I chose Emily. The name felt more ... More grown up.”
Sophie was quiet for a long moment. “When we met ... you’d been Emily for how long?”
“Seven years. Lars’s memories had faded so much by then. Sometimes I’d get flashes, weird feelings like I’d lived before, but mostly I was just Emily. A seventeen-year-old girl who liked art and was scared to come out to her parents.” Emily looked at Sophie desperately. “That was real. Everything between us is real. I’m not lying about who I am now.”
“But you were lying by not telling me this,” Sophie said quietly. The hurt was clear in her voice. “Our entire relationship, Em. We moved in together. We just got engaged. And you never...” Her voice broke. “You never trusted me with this?”
“I was scared!” Emily sobbed. “I was terrified you’d leave! That you’d see me as Lars instead of Emily! That you’d think I was, I don’t even know, broken or wrong or...”
“I wouldn’t have...” Sophie started, then stopped. She closed her eyes. “I don’t know what I would have thought. But I deserved the chance to make that choice for myself. You took that from me.”