Jacinta Takes a Walk
Copyright© 2025 by BarBar
Chapter 30: Making Kindling
I was appalled to see Miss Griffin emerge from the stairway, puffing and panting as she made her way over to unlock the door and let us in to the room. I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach.
I slid inside and started to make my way to my usual seat near a window. But I found myself being gently steered to a seat in the middle of the room by Jane. I didn’t resist and sat myself down where she’d guided me, with Jane on my right.
A moment later, Claire slid into the chair on my left. I looked at her, surprised.
She shrugged. “Apparently, it’s be nice to weirdos day. I figured I should do my part.”
Miss Griffin stood up the front and loudly called for everyone to be quiet. I kept my head down. Miss Griffin hates me with a passion. Probably because she had me for Maths for two years, back in Year 7 and Year 8, when I was at my worst. Since then, every encounter I’ve had with her has ended badly. And because she’s the teacher and has all the power, that has meant yet another trip to Mr Peterson’s office, every single time.
Miss Griffin cleared her throat and read from a note. “Mr Mann is absent today. He’s left a worksheet for you. You’ll need to refer to Page 73 of your textbook to complete the worksheet. Take out your books and get to work. Silently!”
I watched as Miss Griffin handed the pile of worksheets to a student called Chester, who was sitting near the front of the room, and then went to sit at the front desk.
Chester, who’d been handed the pile of worksheets, walked around the room, handing them out. Being well trained by Mr Mann, every student who received a worksheet would say, “Arigatou.” Each time, Chester would nod his head and say, “Iie,” in response. To translate, they were basically saying an informal thank you, and he was replying with no problem. So Arigatou, then Iie, got repeated twenty something times, with varying quality of pronunciation as Chester moved around the room. I like to think that my pronunciation was okay, not the best, but better than some.
I leaned closer to Jane and whispered, “I’ll need to look at your textbook. I don’t have one. Mr Mann usually lends me his when I need one.”
Jane nodded and opened her book. She flipped to the correct page and then placed the book between us.
I read through the page in the textbook and looked at the worksheet. It took a moment, but I figured out what was going on. I’d be able to do this.
Once Chester had finished handing out worksheets and returned to his seat, Miss Griffin started calling out the roll. Once again, being well trained, each student answered, “Hai,” when she called their name. When Miss Griffin called out Daria, a number of students called out, “Imasen.”
Miss Griffin scowled and muttered. “What does that mean?” she asked.
“It means she’s absent, Miss,” explained someone up near the front of the class.
Miss Griffin scowled and muttered some more.
My name was about half way through the list. When she called out, “Jacinta Mells?” her voice went chilly. I tried to ignore that, and responded with “Hai,” like every other student had. There was maybe a heart-beat worth of silence from the front before she moved on to the next name. I thought maybe she’d been tempted to say something, but had then decided not to. That uneasy feeling in my stomach was growing into a tight little knot.
I kept my head down and got on with the worksheet. The class worked in relative silence for maybe 10 minutes then the whispered conversations started up. At first, I think that most of the conversations were related to the work, but I suspected that other topics were being discussed as well. Miss Griffin ignored the whispers, so they continued and gradually got louder.
Claire leaned in and asked me what I’d written for number 4. I showed her. She looked puzzled and asked why, so I pointed to the section of the textbook where that question was explained. She whispered thanks and read the section, nodding to herself. She then wrote the appropriate answer.
Miss Griffin called out my name. I popped my head up and looked at her. I was unsure why I was being singled out.
“Jacinta Mells. Stop talking,” she growled. “You have work to do.”
I didn’t respond. I simple put my head back down and got on with my work. That’s what you get for having once been a total pain in the ass. Everyone talks and I get into trouble. That tight knot in my stomach wasn’t so little anymore.
I got to number 7 and it didn’t make any sense to me. Jane was stuck on the same question and Claire hadn’t got to that question yet. Jane and I read through the entire page again and it didn’t help. I heard some whispering behind me about the same question. The whispering in the room got louder. A boy called Lachlan, in the row in front of us, put his hand up.
“Yes? What is it?” asked Miss Griffin.
“There’s a question that we don’t know how to do,” said Lachlan.
“I can’t help you at all,” said Miss Griffin. “I don’t know Japanese.”
Minh, a girl in the front row, turned around and called out to the rest of the class. “For question 7, you have to look at the previous page. Nanajuu-ichi peeji.”
There was a chorus of “Aaah!” from around the room.
Lachlan called out “Arigatou.”
“Iie,” said Minh.
Jane flipped her book back to page 71 and we read the information. There was the sound of multiple people doing the same thing. The discussion in the room got louder.
With the help of the new information, Jane, Claire and I were able to finish the worksheet. It was only about half way through the lesson.
Jane leaned close and whispered. “By the way, I owe you a thanks.”
I looked at her questioningly.
“I have a sister in Year 7. Lacey was being bullied by this Monica girl. Then one day she came home and said a random Year 11 boy had come up and talked to her right when this Monica was getting in her face. The Year 11 boy had stayed until Monica left. Then he winked at her and walked away. Three days later, a similar thing happened, only this time it was a Year 10 girl. The girl had put her arm over my Lacey’s shoulders and smiled at Monica. Monica spun on her heel and stomped away. The older girl never said anything, just squeezed my sister’s shoulder and walked off.”
Claire snickered. “I was part of that. It was a deliberate campaign to make Monica Lassar back off from bullying the other kids. We had a roster so that there was always someone watching her. She was not happy when she figured out what was happening. She walked around with a scowl for a week. But she did back off.”
Jane nodded. “Lacey was so much happier at school once Monica was leaving her alone, so I did some asking around. I wanted to thank the people who organised it. The trail led me to Josh Stonkey and Amber Gatts in Year 12. I went up to them to thank them, but they said it was your idea.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t do much. I just told those two what the problem was and they got it organised.”
“Wait, that was you?” said Claire. She stared at me like I’d grown an extra head. “But ... That was you?”
I shook my head. “I stayed away from Monica. It was the two Year 12s who did everything.”
Jane chuckled. “I bet you had to stay away from her. I heard you got suspended for what you did to Monica before all that started.”
“What did she do?” asked Claire.
“I heard that Jacinta stripped Monica naked and tossed her clothes on the roof of Building B,” replied Jane.
I shrugged. “All stories are true,” I said. “She had to hide in the change rooms until everyone went home. Then she could climb up and get her clothes back. Watching her naked ass clamber up that trellis was the funniest thing ever.”
At that moment, Miss Griffin shouted my name. “Jacinta Mells. I’ve told you over and over to stop talking and get back to work.”
She was standing beside the front desk and pointing one finger at me as she shouted. She was shaking in fury.
I clenched my teeth and stopped myself from shouting back. I’d finished my work. Everyone in the room was talking. The unfairness of the whole thing was off the charts.
I sat there and seethed. Frodo whined and scratched at the door. Miss Griffin was still yelling at me. I had to get out of there. My leg was bouncing with the stress I was feeling. My two companions sat each side of me, pretending to work on their already finished sheets. Frodo started growling.
I couldn’t sit still any longer. We had to get out of there. Abruptly, Frodo stood up, pushing his chair back with a clatter. He made for the door with me riding on his shoulder. As he walked, I managed to call out through clenched teeth that I needed to go to the bathroom.
“Sit down,” yelled Miss Griffin. “You’re not going anywhere.”
Frodo ignored her and blasted out through the door, slamming it shut behind him. Once he was through the door, Frodo ran to the stairwell and ran down the stairs, taking two at a time. Distantly I heard a screeching behind me. Miss Griffin was calling for me to get back inside the room. I ignored her. Frodo kept going, with his his hackles raised and his lips pulled back to expose his teeth.
We burst out of the door and into the quadrangle. The transition from muted fluorescent lights to sharp daylight hurt our eyes. The entire quadrangle seemed to be shaded in shades of purple. It was deserted but that didn’t matter. There were too many windows facing onto the area. Too many eyes staring at us. Every window contained faces, gigantic faces that stared out at me. Scrutinising me. Judging me. The purple haze surrounding the quadrangle became stronger, then started morphing into multiple colours that swam and swirled and mixed together. The gigantic faces started emerging from the windows and swarming towards me.
Frodo turned and ran. I rode with him, but at the same time watched from a distance. We ran through the covered way that led between the Old Building and Building C. That led onto a grassed area with picnic tables sheltering under leafy trees. The grass and the trees were mostly green, washed lightly with a mix of rainbow colours that didn’t belong. The rainbow colours were more muted, already fading as I moved through them.
We bolted straight through and kept going until I got to the fence line that marked the boundary of the school.
The weird colours were left behind.
There was only me, running, with Frodo running at my side.
The fence stopped me. I wanted to run forever, but it was there, blocking me.
I punched the fence in frustration.
A row of trees line the fence line. A large dead branch lay on the ground, obviously fallen from one of the trees. I walked over to it and stomped on it, snapping the branch in two. I picked up the heavier end and swung it down to smash into the twigs and dead leaves attached to the lighter end that still lay on the ground. The crunch of the impact was satisfying. The destruction of the branch even more so. I swung again.
Distant speakers burst into life. “Would Jacinta Mells please report to Mr Peterson’s office.”
The announcement barely registered. The dead branch in my hands was much more interesting.
I swung again. More bits of the branch broke.
I was vaguely aware that a number of windows on this side of Building C had acquired faces. Staring faces that watched me as I swung the branch again. At least this time, they were normal, human sized faces.
The bit of the branch I was holding snapped in two. I had to lean closer now as I systematically reduced the dead branch into kindling. A once huge branch was steadily getting reduced to splinters of wood the size of matchsticks, and a scattering of dead leaves that crunched underfoot.
I was panting from the exertion and slowing down. The remnants of the branch that was in my hand was now too short to be useful. I threw it down and stomped on it. It hurt my foot but I didn’t care.
Frodo alerted, looking behind me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see a figure wearing a suit walking towards me. I stamped again, snapping twigs into smaller pieces.
Mr Peterson stopped, maybe 20 paces away from me, and watched. I ignored him and stamped again. My foot hurt more. I saw a hand-sized piece of rock on the ground, so I picked it up and used it to smash down on what was left of the branch. Again and again I smashed down with the rock. The destruction had eased that tightness inside me. I could almost feel the tension flowing out of me with every blow.
I smashed the rock down one last time and left it there. I let out a huge breath and the last bit of remaining tension went out with it. I stood and brushed my hands together as I looked around at the scattered pieces of kindling.
The original dead branch was completely gone. It was satisfying to see how much damage I’d done.
Mr Peterson stepped up near me and looked around at the destruction I’d caused. He nodded and turned to me.
“Are you finished?” His voice was quiet and calm.
I shrugged. “Yeah. I guess so.”
“Perhaps we can head to my office then?” he said, making his suggestion sound like a question, even though we both knew it wasn’t.
I sighed. “I guess so.”
I turned and started walking back towards the school buildings. He stepped up and walked beside me.
I glanced up and saw that many of the windows of Building C had faces in them, staring out. Watching. Judging. But they were normal sized faces behind the glass. The hallucinations seem to have gone. That had been weird.
I glanced at Mr Peterson, walking beside me. He was taller than me and looked trim in his suit.
“Are you aware that half the school thinks we’re having an affair?” I said.
“Is that so?”
“All those times you call me up to your office. They all seem to think it’s so we can have a quick fuck in the privacy of your office.”
I glanced sideways at him. He was looking amused, but he didn’t say anything.
“It must be against all sorts of rules for you to be messing around with a student like that,” I said. “Besides, what would Chan Mi say?”
“She’d probably laugh,” he finally spoke. “She knows how ridiculous some of the rumours can get around this place.”
I grinned.
“Only last month I had a visit from a mother,” he said. “Apparently her daughter had gone home and told her that a senior girl had stolen a Year 7 girl’s clothes and made her go to class naked.”
I raised my eyebrows. “All stories are true,” I said. “If it matters, I felt really bad about doing that. The poor kid must have been so embarrassed, having to sit in class completely naked like that.”
“I had to assure the mother that it wasn’t true,” he continued, ignoring my comments. “I told her that I could guarantee that no girl had been stripped naked. I told her that I was aware of the origin of that rumour and that what she’d heard bore no relationship whatsoever to what had actually happened. That was an interesting conversation.”
“Well, I’m glad I can keep your life interesting,” I said.
By this time we had entered the Old Building and we reached the door to his office. It was a glass door. Anyone walking past could see in. The idea of his office being private had been a joke. If we fucked in his office, half the school would be able to watch.
He opened the door and ushered me inside. I took my accustomed seat facing his desk and he perched himself on the corner of his desk. A large window looked out over the quadrangle. His desk was decorated with photos. Childlike paintings were pinned to the wall. Shelves groaned with files, and publications, and folders stuffed overfull with paper. A single chair faced the desk. I swear I’d sat in that chair so often, you could find my bum-print on the fabric.
“I received a message from Miss Griffin that you left the classroom without permission. Shortly after that I received a message from one of the teachers in Building C, that you could be seen destroying a tree out near the fence. What am I to make of all of that?”
“To start with, I didn’t destroy a tree,” I grumbled. “It was a branch on the ground. It was already dead when I got there.”
He nodded. “I saw that, so let’s move back to Miss Griffin.”
I scowled and looked at the carpet. “She was screaming at me. I bet she didn’t mention that. She was screaming at me for talking, when everyone in the room was talking. I was the only one she called out. I lost my cool. I really, really lost my cool. I could have yelled back at her, but I didn’t. Instead I left the room and went for a walk.”
He nodded. “Thank you. If what you say is true, then you did the right thing by leaving. It’s a huge improvement on how you used to react when things didn’t go your way.”
I shrugged, but didn’t respond. He was only stating facts, after all.
He paused.
“I saw the paperwork this morning. You’ve gone into care with the DCP. You’re now at SHORT. I’ve had a lot to do with the people at SHORT. The current leadership there seem like good people.”
I nodded, looking down. “They seem to be.”
“The court order mentioned that your guardian passed away last Thursday. I’m sorry about Jackie.”
“She didn’t pass away,” I said in a low voice. “She took some pills and she died, lying on our hallway carpet. There was something wrong with the pills. She overdosed. And I was right there.”
The emotion welled up out of nowhere.
“I saw her lying on the floor. She was alive when I saw her. I could have done something. Helped her. Called an ambulance. Anything.”
A sob burst out of me.
“I saw her and I left her because I thought it was normal. I thought she’d just sleep it off and get up and go on with her life.”
I sobbed. Great gasping, body shaking sobs.
A tissue was thrust into my hands and I pressed it to my face.
“I know it’s stupid to blame myself. I was completely wasted. I could barely stand, myself, let alone help anybody else. And how was I to know the pills were bad?”
I sobbed some more. The sort of sobs that rip out your guts and leave you gasping for breath.
The tissue I was using dissolved because it was soaked. A new one was thrust into my hand.
“She was pathetic. I’ll never know why Dad fell for her. But she tried to look after me when Dad died. She tried her best. We had some good times. I remember one time we tried to bake a cake. It was a disaster but we laughed so hard. And now she’s gone. She didn’t deserve to die like that.”
I was bawling my eyes out.
I stopped trying to explain.
Gradually, the sobbing reduced to crying.
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