Jacinta Takes a Walk
Copyright© 2025 by BarBar
Interlude 2: Peter Binter
Dinner on Sunday evening in the Binter household was quieter than usual. Tabitha was uncharacteristically subdued, barely speaking more than was needed to get through the meal. Given that she usually provided more than two thirds of the energy and the chatter, this left a yawning chasm in the noise level around the table.
Fred was happy to fill some of the gap by recounting his basketball game on the previous Friday. The events of Saturday had been talked about earlier in the day so he didn’t see the need to repeat any of that.
The two parents, Peter and Anthea, led a short conversation about plans for the coming week, homework, school projects due, after school activities, and so on. Fred’s answers to their questions were to the point as usual. Tabitha’s answers were monosyllabic, which was very unusual.
Once dinner was finished, and the table cleared, the two youngsters were sent off to have their showers and brush their teeth and pack their school bags for Monday. The usual practise was that once they were ready for bed, they would come back to the living room in their pjs and watch TV for a while before bedtime.
Fred took Tabitha’s hand and led her out of the kitchen/dining area with a concerned look on his face. He walked twisted sideways so that he could look up at his sister.
“Are you okay, Tabs? What’s the matter?”
Tabitha didn’t respond but allowed herself to be led through to the back of the house.
The two parents watched this happen and waited for the two youngsters to be out of hearing range before turning to each other.
“I’m clueless,” said Peter, as he turned and started making two coffees. “Something’s obviously up with Tabitha, and I’d bet the house it has something to do with yesterday, but...”
He spread his arms to indicate his lack of understanding.
Anthea nodded. “She normally has no filter. She thinks something, and then she says it. When she got home from Alex and Viv’s house she was buzzing and talking non-stop. But, ever since I called them out of their rooms to help with dinner preparation, she’s been like she’s on a different planet.”
“Well,” said Peter. “I’m worried about her. I’ll try to get her to talk when she comes back after her shower. I’m not sure how well that will go. It seems to me that, lately, she talks constantly about what she’s doing, but if I try to talk about what she’s feeling she dodges it. I miss my little girl who told me everything.”
They briefly heard their two children talking together as they moved around in the back of the house. Then the conversation cut off as the bathroom door was closed. A moment later, the shower started running at the back of the house. Anthea threw a glance at Peter and then walked through into the back half of the house. As she approached the bathroom door, she could hear the sound of quiet conversation from inside the bathroom. She listened carefully, but the sound of the shower made it difficult to understand what was being said. It was clear that both of the youngsters were inside and they were talking, but that was all she could tell.
She frowned and turned away, returning to the living room. Peter handed her a coffee, then sat in his armchair. Anthea stood, nervously glancing back towards the back of the house.
Bandit, their dog, who’d watched all of the action from his mat, climbed up into Peter’s lap where he curled up. Peter lazily scratched around Bandit’s neck. Mango, one of the cats jumped down from the cat tower and stalked his way across the top of the couch, to leap onto the back of Anthea’s chair. He crouched there, sphinx-like, and kept careful watch, looking around the room. The other two cats, Simba and Pippi, were content to continue sleeping, curled up together on the couch.
Anthea had a frown on her face. “They’re both in the bathroom at the same time. One of them is in the shower. They’re talking but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. I’m not comfortable with the idea of the two of them being in there at the same time like that.”
Peter nodded. “Obviously, they used to have baths together, so it’s not like that never happened. We both agreed several years ago that it was time for the baths to stop.”
He thought about the situation for a moment and then sighed. “They were naked together in the pool yesterday, and more or less continuously from then until this morning when you picked them up. It appears that they’ve decided they can be naked in the bathroom together as well. Are they old enough to make their own decisions about things like that?”
Anthea shivered. “It goes against the way I was raised.”
Peter nodded. “Me too. But seriously, they’re both good kids. Fred’s too young to be interested in doing anything sexual. Tabitha’s probably at that age where she’s curious, but she’s not going to force him into anything inappropriate. I’m sure that nothing bad is going to happen, other than them seeing each other naked. And that cat is already out of the bag.”
“You’re right,” said Anthea. “We should be trusting them to do the right thing.”
She finally sat in her armchair, though she was not completely relaxed.
“It feels wrong, but I’ll get over it,” continued Anthea. “I suppose I should be glad that they’ve gotten back to the point where they’re happily spending time together and talking nicely to each other.”
“Hallelujah,” said Peter.
Anthea picked up the remote and turned the TV on to watch the news. The two of them relaxed and enjoyed their coffee as they caught up on the news of the day. Bandit complained when Peter stopped scratching his head by nudging Peter’s hand. Peter resumed scratching and Bandit settled.
The weather forecast had been read, and the two newsreaders were making their final statements about the day, when the two youngsters returned to the living room.
Peter glanced sideways to see them and then did a double take. He jumped to his feet and said, “What?”
Both Tabitha and Fred were stark naked. They stood there, side by side, holding hands. Fred was looking relaxed and confident. Tabitha looked nervous. Her hands were twitching as she fought not to cover herself. Her cheeks were flushed and red. Fred alternated between glancing up at his sister and looking at his two parents.
Bandit had been ejected from Peter’s lap, when Peter stood. He now scampered around between Peter and the kids, wagging his tail and doing little half-jumps with his front feet.
Anthea also stood and moved to stand beside Peter, looking at her two younger children. Her face was calm and impassive, but her stance exposed her uncertainty about how to react.
Mango stood up when Anthea did, but otherwise didn’t move from his position on the back of Anthea’s chair. Simba lifted his head up to see what the action was about, but otherwise didn’t move. Pippi slept on, curled up with Simba, oblivious.
Peter took a breath and then spoke calmly. “I thought we made it clear. The nudity on Saturday was a special event.”
Tabitha looked down at the floor and blushed some more. She looked up and opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
A look of determination came over her face, and she finally managed to speak. “I know.”
Fred looked up at his sister, then over to his parents. “Tabs has something to say. She wants you to listen. Really listen.”
Tabitha twitched and nodded.
“I don’t have anything to say,” said Fred. “I’m just supporting Tabs.”
Anthea was the first to react. She stooped and picked up the TV remote for long enough to switch off the TV.
“This sounds important,” said Anthea. “We’re listening.”
She leaned very slightly against Peter, not so much to give him a nudge, but more to receive support.
“Yes,” said Peter, reacting to Anthea’s touch. “We’re listening.”
Tabitha and Fred stepped forward into the room, Tabitha still clinging to Fred’s hand.
Bandit moved to sniff at Fred’s unclad feet, then licked his toes. Fred glanced down at Bandit, but then focused back on what was happening, ignoring the way his toes were being licked.
“You should probably sit down,” said Tabitha.
Both parents frowned.
Fred saw the frowns and raised his free hand to make a calming gesture.
“It’s not bad,” said Fred. “She practised this in her head with you sitting down, that’s all.”
“In that case,” said Anthea. “Perhaps we should sit.” She returned to her armchair and sat.
Peter saw what his wife was doing and did the same.
Fred and Tabitha walked together to stand in front of their parents, then Fred extracted his hand from Tabitha’s grip and walked over to his mother. He lifted himself up and sat sideways on Anthea’s lap so he could watch Tabitha and their father.
“This is mostly for Dad,” Fred said quietly to his mother. “But it’s for us as well.”
Bandit got tired of being ignored and walked over to his mat, where he curled up with a grunt.
Tabitha stood there, in front of her father and hesitated. She opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again.
“You wanted to do this,” said Fred. “You’ve done the hardest part.”
Tabitha gave an almost imperceptible nod to Fred.
“You were going to start with why we’re naked,” prompted Fred.
“Yes,” said Tabitha, trying to shake off her nerves.
She took a big breath and started talking.
“Jacinta said that sometimes, when you have something important to say to someone, you have to make sure you have their attention first. Jacinta said that sometimes you have to do something dramatic to make sure they’re really listening.”
She flicked her hands up and down at herself. “This is me doing something dramatic. I needed to make sure you really listened.”
Peter held out his hands to gesture that he was there. “I’m listening. I don’t think you needed to do all this to get me to listen.”
Tabitha frowned. “If I had just walked in wearing my pjs and said I wanted to say something, you would have said you were listening, but you’d have kept watching the TV at the same time.”
Peter opened his mouth to reply but then stopped himself. “Ah. I see what you mean. I..., well, maybe you’re right. But you have my full attention now. I’m listening.”
Anthea said, “Jacinta really made an impression on you, didn’t she? You were talking about her all morning.”
Tabitha glanced at her mother, “Yes, but this isn’t about her.”
She stopped herself. “Well, it is, but only because Jacinta said I should do this.”
She looked at her father. “I mean, she didn’t say I should do this,” she gestured up and down at her body. “That was my idea.”
“Jacinta said I should do this,” she gestured back and forth between her dad and herself.
Tabitha stepped forward and sat down sideways on her father’s knee, leaving a small gap between herself and his torso.
Peter stirred, feeling uncomfortable to have his naked daughter sitting on him like that. He shot a glance sideways at his wife, but Anthea wasn’t reacting, so he sat still.
“Jacinta said I should sit on your knee and do something normal,” said Tabitha. “Like feeling the bristles on your face where you shave.”
She matched her actions to her words, her fingers gently tracing down the line of his jaw.
“It really is scratchy, isn’t it?” she said, getting distracted. “I’m glad I don’t have to shave my face to stop it getting hairy.”
Peter smiled and accepted having his face stroked without commenting.
“Jacinta said I should do something normal, like that,”said Tabitha. “And then she said that I should tell you all the things that I told her.”
Mango jumped down from the back of Anthea’s chair to the arm rest. He eyed Anthea’s lap as if annoyed to find it already occupied, then sank into his sphinx-like pose on the arm rest.
Peter reached out to to pick up a strand of Tabitha’s hair and arrange it down her back.
Some years ago, Peter and Anthea had been to a parenting seminar where they’d learned about ‘active listening.’ He decided now might be a good time to practise some of that.
“You talked to Jacinta about something important. And she suggested that you should tell me those same things?” Peter’s voice was gentler than it had been moments before.
“Yeah,” said Tabitha. “Her dad died when she was nine. She only had her stepmother after that, and they weren’t very ... close. And she behaved badly, so she lost all of her friends. That meant she didn’t have anyone to talk to.”
A tear tracked its way down Tabitha’s cheek. “I think she was very lonely. I think she wished she could do this, what I’m doing now. She wished that she could still sit on her father’s knee and talk to him. I realised, when she told me I should talk to you, that I was really lucky that I could still get to do this. And I realised that I was being such a brat that I was wasting my good fortune.”
Tabitha threw herself into her father’s chest and sobbed. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I’m so sorry.”
Peter held out his arms and hesitated, worried about hugging his naked daughter and worried about making sure his hands didn’t go anywhere that could be misunderstood. But then the reality of the sobbing child in his lap overrode all of his concerns. He hugged his daughter and held her close, rocking her slightly to calm her.
Anthea had stirred when Tabitha first started crying, wanting to rush to comfort her, but Fred shook his head at her and silently told her to wait.
Fred leaned up so he could whisper in his mother’s ear. “Tabs figured she’d probably end up crying at some point. She decided she wasn’t going to let that stop her. She wants to do this without us interfering.”
Fred leaned into his mother’s chest and she wrapped her arms around him. The two of them together watched the father console his weeping daughter.
After crying for a moment, Tabitha sat up and used her hands to wipe her face. “Sorry. I’m mucking this up. I feel so bad for Jacinta, but she said on the phone this morning that she was okay.”
She wiped her face again and looked at her father. “Can I start again? I thought out what I wanted to say, and I got all turned around.”
“Of course you can, sweet heart,” said Peter. “I’m ready to listen.”
Tabitha took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She picked one of her father’s hands and clutched it with both of hers while she sat on his knee.
“Daddy, ever since I can remember, I used to tell you everything. I’d tell you everything I did, and everything I thought, and everything I felt. It made me feel really special that I could tell you everything and you would listen and let me share those things with you. It was like you were one of my best friends in the world.”
She trailed off for a moment and looked wistful. Then she gave her father a kind of crooked smile.
“But then this big thing started happening and everyone said I should keep it secret. Deep down, I wanted to tell you all about it. I wanted to share it with you like I shared everything else with you, but I wasn’t allowed. There’s like this rule that says I can’t tell you about it, and I hate that. And you weren’t interested. You made it clear that you were happy to pretend it wasn’t happening.”
Peter frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“Jacinta pointed out to me that I was being torn apart by wanting to do both things at the same time but they contradicted each other. I wanted to tell you everything, but I wasn’t supposed to tell you anything. It was impossible to do both. She said that when we get torn apart like that, we do stupid things. Or risky things. Or we don’t do what we know we should do.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie, but I’m lost,” said Peter. “What are you talking about that I’m pretending didn’t happen?”
Tabitha sprang up off her father’s knee and stood in front of him. “I’m talking about this.” She gestured up and down her body.
“Look at me. My boobs are growing, but I’m supposed to wear a bra and a loose shirt so you don’t see them. My hips and my bum never used to stick out like this, so now my waist goes in, but that same loose shirt is supposed to hide that. Apparently its okay to see the shape of my waist if I’m wearing bathers or a leotard, but never any other time.”
She held up one arm up to expose her armpit and pointed. “I’m getting little hairs here, but I’m supposed to shave them off so that nobody sees them when I wear bathers or a leotard.”
She lowered her hands and gestured vaguely in the region of her privates. “And I’m getting hairs down here where nobody will ever see them, especially not boys. Especially not you, because you don’t want to see me when I’m naked. You don’t want to see any of that. It’s like you’re embarrassed about my body. It’s like you’re embarrassed about me.”
Tears started streaking down her cheeks as she spoke. Her speech becoming more and more passionate.
“I’m turning into a woman, Daddy. My body is changing into a woman’s body. And it’s scary and exciting and weird. And you send me to my room if I’m not properly covered up. It’s like you hate what’s happening to me. It’s like you don’t want to know.”
She stopped, shaking with emotion, and let out a single sob.
“And everything’s mixed up in my head. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m confused. I’m getting things wrong. I’m doing stupid things. I try to pretend that everything’s okay, but that just makes me come across like a brat. And I’m being mean to people, people that I love.”
Tabitha stopped herself in mid rant, and threw herself back into her father’s lap. She buried her face into his chest. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I didn’t mean to be like that. I was so confused. I didn’t know what I was doing.”
She cried for a moment, with her face buried in her father’s chest.
Peter ran his hand across Tabitha’s shoulders and then down onto the upper half of her back.
“Oh, sweeheart,” said Peter.
“Jacinta helped me understand,” said Tabitha with a sniffle. “I’m trying to do better. I’m going to keep trying to do better.”
Thinking that Tabitha was finished, Peter decided it was time for him to talk.
“Oh, my sweet little girl,” said Peter. “I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I was embarrassed about you.”
“It’s all of society, Tabitha,” said Anthea. “It’s the way we were raised. Fathers aren’t supposed to notice those things you mentioned.”
Tabitha, sat up and wiped her face with her hands.
“Why not?” Tabitha asked her mother. “I used to tell Daddy everything. Why can’t I tell him this? Why can’t I show him what’s happening to me? I don’t understand.”
Anthea took a breath, ready to defend the position. But Peter reached out a hand and laid it on Anthea’s arm. The gentle touch stopped her from speaking.
“We promised to listen, Tabitha,” said Peter. “And we’ve been listening. You shared something very precious with us. You shared how you’re feeling about these really important things in your life.”
Peter hesitated, and then continued.
“Your mother and I were brought up to believe that fathers are supposed to ignore the way their daughters’ bodies change and develop. Your mother and I were brought up to believe that daughters should hide what is happening to their body from the males in their life, including their father, and their brothers.”
Peter tenderly ran his hand down a strand of Tabitha’s hair.
“So that’s what we wanted you to do.”
Peter paused to check if Tabitha wanted to respond. She didn’t say anything, so he continued.
“You told me that trying to keep those things secret from me has made you feel confused and awkward. You told me that the way your body has been changing has brought up all of these feelings in you and you weren’t able to share them with me because of our rules. It’s made you feel as if you’d lost that closeness we used to have. You showed me the way your body has been changing in a way I can’t ignore. You told me how you’re feeling in a way that I can’t ignore.”
Tabitha sat up straighter on her father’s lap and nodded.
“Did I get that right?” asked Peter. “Did I miss anything?”
Tabitha was nodding. “Yeah. That’s right.”
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