Chapter 1

Her name was Claire. She was always a little curious in college. Curious about everything. Then she decided to watch porn. She was alone in her dorm. She was grown. She could make her own decisions. Porn never hurt anyone. Why not see what it’s all about? So she fed her curiosity. — curious enough to open tabs late at night, curious enough to stay up until dawn watching pixels flicker while her roommates in the other rooms slept. She’d thought it was just a phase: college stress, lonely nights, a bit of “self-care.” But the screens became more comforting than anything else.

Masturbation became her true and only sexual outlet. At the time, she was still a virgin. Out of her curiosity, she discovered gooning and its true meaning. Slowly, yet silently, she decided to identify as a goonette. While she was no stranger to masturbating, this is the first time she engaged in deliberate edging and long extended sessions masturbating to porn. But right now it was just her secret she kept to herself and her screens.

She met Ethan during her senior year — sweet, patient Ethan, who didn’t mind when she laughed off dates to stay in bed. When they finally had sex, she liked it — she liked him — but she couldn’t stop comparing him to the porn scenes playing endlessly behind her eyes. By this point, she could hear porn in her sleep. She could see porn without watching porn. Her curiosity lead her down this path. She already knew her obsession with gooning was permanent. But it was still her secret. She still had to maintain some form of outward normalcy ... right?

At first, Ethan was enough. Real warmth. Real skin. Real love. But her laptop waited. Headphones under the pillow. Hidden bookmarks. One more video. One more clip. One more surge of heat and she’d promise herself tomorrow I’ll stop.

Tomorrow never came. Sometimes she didn’t cum either.

She loved to withhold her orgasm. To edge. She even faked orgasm when she had sex with Ethan. She just used him to edge. He would never understand. He only lasted about 10-15 minutes anyway. She was very used to hours of masturbation without orgasm long before his penis ever entered her safe space for porn.

To stay wet, she often thought about her favorite porn. Naked women alone in their rooms ... making online content. Lost in their own pleasure with just silicone, likes, and follows.
Masturbating for hours.
Sucking on dildos, fucking machines.
Squirting.
Big clits.

She was obsessed with the female anatomy presented in porn. It was so powerful to watch them control their pleasure and control others. She dreamed one day of making money like they did, but the appeal of having to deal with selfish and rude men just turned her off from exploring that fantasy. She knew her place in life was to just make money, rub her pussy, and support her goddesses to they kept making porn.

These are just some of the perverted thoughts sustained her while she did her best to sexually satisfy Ethan. She couldn’t break his heart. He was just a normal humble and quiet man that loved his girlfriend. She couldn’t taint him with her secret world of beautiful depravity. She already knew that what she was into was a quiet and silent lifestyle far removed from normalcy ... And she loved it ... more than Ethan.

They moved in together after graduation. A nice starter home on the edge of town — neutral paint, big windows, a backyard they never used. Well that’s not entirely true. They did use the back yard to get married and have a small and quiet ceremony. Luckily both of them were humble and private people. It wasn’t about satisfying others and preforming. They had each other. Claire had porn.