Unbound - Rachel's Story
Copyright© 2025 by A Kiwi Guy
Chapter 25
Dinner that night was an unusual mixture of emotions: elation at the progress Rachel was making with her riding, but thoughtfulness over the reasons for her meltdown at the lunch table. Conversation skirted around the latter at first, but eventually it had to be faced.
“You experienced some really intense emotions at lunch, darling,” Caroline said gently. “Can you tell us what was going on?”
Rachel thought for a while, not sure how to unscramble the feelings. The family quietly gave her time to sort things out, without pressing. Finally, she began:
“I think a whole lot of things came to a head at the same time. On the one hand, there were flashbacks of the pain and depression I felt after my accident, mixed in with the progress I made in rehabilitation. But even in that progress, I never conquered my fear of not being good enough, or of never recovering the kind of life I had envisaged before the accident.”
She blinked hard. “It was that fear that held me back socially. I found myself pulling back from close contact in case I got hurt again. Which sounds stupid, when you consider that I found a job tutoring a class at Ara, and then willingly became a tutor at the Linwood community centre. But you see, all that activity was actually me finding something to hide behind. It allowed me to put on a mask of competency, of being a people person. But it wasn’t the real me down inside.
“And reality suddenly invaded my life, unwittingly forcing me to confront these beliefs. The night of the community class after the ball showed me that people liked me for being me—I didn’t have to put on an act. He didn’t realise it, but that was a revelation. It started me seeing that, in reality, I am lovable and capable.
“In the middle of that mix, Godmama challenged me with the story of Helen Keller, and the way she overcame huge obstacles to become a witness that brought many people to God. And then at lunch today, Mum, you reminded me about Joni Eareckson, and how she has surmounted paraplegia to help millions of people. At that moment, it all felt too much to hold together.”
“And where are you now?” Caroline asked softly.
“Suddenly, I’m a cripple riding a horse. A recluse being asked to teach something I know little about, to people who have so much less than me. And engaged to a man who doesn’t take no for an answer.”
She was silent again. Then: “Today I came to the end of myself. In one sense, I am nothing. But in another, I suddenly come to see that if I let myself be guided by God, the future is unlimited. This is an astounding revelation, which I’m certain would never have been birthed except in the wonderful family you have welcomed me into.”
As Rachel finished her explanation, tears filled every eye, and a powerful sense of love enveloped the room, so that for a time it felt more like a cathedral than a lounge.
...
Sunday had its usual relaxed start, with a late breakfast-cum-morning tea. The atmosphere carried an easy calm, as though everyone sensed that a significant milestone had been reached.
“Today,” Geordie announced, “I think we can stretch your wings a little further, Rachel. Caroline and I have talked it over, and we’d like to take you on a small cross-country ride.”
“Cross-country? That’s a lot different from a trot around the home paddock,” Rachel said, her voice betraying a flicker of unease.
“You’ve made such good progress, honey, that we feel this is within your capabilities,” Caroline countered gently. “We’re not suggesting you take a giant leap. This will be a gentle ride at a slow pace – no histrionics. We’ll take a picnic lunch and enjoy the countryside. You’ll get a view of it from a new vantage point.”
“You can say that again,” Rachel murmured. Then, after a pause, a troubling thought came to her.
“Umm, aren’t there some practical issues – like...”
“Toileting?” Caroline cut in with a grin.
“Well, yes.”
Caroline chuckled. “You’re not the first rider to wonder about that. Don’t worry, we’ll keep the ride short enough it won’t be a problem. And we’ll make sure you’re comfortable in the saddle – padded with a good sheepskin, so no chafing. Plus, we carry an emergency kit.”
Then she added more quietly: “We won’t be leaving for another half hour. A little planning ahead avoids awkward moments. But if you do get caught out, there’s a little bivvy near the picnic spot that gives privacy.”
Rachel exhaled in relief. “You really do think of everything.”
...
By the time the horses were saddled and the hamper strapped to Geordie’s mount, it was close to eleven. At the stables, Rachel eyed the wooden ramp Geordie led them to. Solid, weathered, built at saddle height — it looked every bit the no-nonsense farm solution.
“Caroline needed this when she was recovering from her accident,” Geordie explained, patting the rail. “Figured it might come in handy again.”
Rachel drew a steadying breath. “All right. Let’s give it a go.”
Matt wheeled her close, braced behind her, and helped her stand. Leaning into him, she shuffled carefully onto the platform. Trixie waited calmly as Geordie held the reins snug.
“Nice and steady, girl,” he murmured.
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