A Night at the County Fair
Copyright© 2025 by Arcadia
Chapter 2: Clueless
“Helloooo? Earth to turd-muncher. Come in, turd-muncher.”
Wyatt snapped himself out of his thoughts, focusing his eyes on his twin sister’s hand waving in front of his face.
“Huh?”
“Bruh,” Rian said in that permanent condescending tone she used whenever she spoke to him, “you were about to expire. For real. You can’t even see what’s right in front of your face.
“What are you muttering about anyway?”
He didn’t really want to tell her. Telling her anything never worked out — it always just loaded up more ammunition for whatever potshots she felt like taking at him. But ... he also did sort of want her opinion. She’d tell him it was stupid no matter what, but how stupid she said it was might give him some clue about whether it was really as foolproof as he thought.
Even so, he knew there was a 99 percent chance it was a stupid idea to ask his sister for advice and that it would backfire spectacularly. But...
But if I don’t believe in 1 percent chances, then this whole night is definitely not gonna work out.
Taking a deep breath, he turned to finally answer his sister, who was staring at him with a raised eyebrow like she thought he was some alien creature or something. It probably wouldn’t have taken much persuading to convince her he was.
“Can I ... ask you something, Rian? Like, for real, okay?”
She shifted her eyes from side to side. “Umm ... Chat? Thoughts? Should I let It ask me what is obviously gonna be a super creepy question?”
He cringed inside at the nickname “It,” which Rian thought was a hilariously appropriate way to shorten his name from the back half instead of the front. But he let it go. The theory was that if he just didn’t show it bothered him, she’d stop doing it.
Though after 6 or 7 years, I think that theory’s probably debunked.
Before he could actually say what he was trying to work up the courage to say, Rian cut him off.
“MOOOOOOMMMM!! Did you not have the sex talk with It??”
Mom didn’t even flinch. She probably tuned them both out automatically by this point. But he flushed anyway and shook his head, frustrated.
“Ughhh, why do you have to be like this all the time!”
“Really bruh,” she said, glowering at him, then flipping the red-dyed end of her hair dismissively. “You gonna ask the sun why it gotta shine?” She smirked at him, convinced she was the cleverest person in the world — as usual.
“Whatever,” he muttered, blowing air out his nose and turning away from her.
Yeah, I live in the 99 percent reality, apparently.
She wasn’t done, though, and gave him a shove in the shoulder that was a little bit harder than playful, making him stumble a little. He was not in the mood, and did his best to keep ignoring her.
“Ughhhhhh,” his sister groaned, “Godddddd, you are such a Wy-baby. Fiiiinneee, I swear to Loki I won’t make fun of whatever stupid thing you’re just busting inside to ask me.”
Wyatt knew this was just as unlikely to work out ... but he couldn’t help it. He was busting inside to tell somebody.
“So ... so I’m...” He took one more deep breath while his sister clearly had to physically bite her lip to keep from making yet another snide remark. “I’m finally gonna ask out Madison Bell.”
He braced for whatever his sister’s reaction was going to be ... which turned out to be looking around him as if she were trying to see if he was carrying something on his back.
“Uh, bruh, I think you forgot the Taser and handcuffs.”
“What?”
“Oh!” She recoiled in surprise. “You mean, you’re not gonna stun her and tie her up? Then I’m’a be deadass with you, bro — don’t like your chances.”
Rian dissolved into a cackle at herself — well, maybe more at him — and he felt his cheeks heat up even hotter than the late-afternoon sun was making them on its own.
He rolled his eyes. “Oh my God, why—”
“—It!” she screamed into his face, sporting a massive, shit-eating grin. “Why-IT!” Rian cackled to herself again and he stewed.
Wyatt groaned again, trying to regain his composure and refocus the topic. “Obviously that’s not what I’m gonna do. I’ve got a much better plan.”
When she was finished laughing, for now, she eyed him skeptically.
“Okay, let’s hear it, It.”
Again, it was against his better judgment, but he just had to tell someone. The only person he’d told was Avery, and she didn’t count.
“So ... I’m gonna, like, be real casual, and ask her if she’d like ... be down for a bet.”
“Yep, no problems so far. Totally reasonable with no possible weaknesses.” Rian nodded as if he hadn’t said anything stupid yet, which he took as an extraordinarily good sign. “Continue.”
“Okay, so then I’ll be like, ‘Hey, how about we play a game? Like, a shooting gallery or something?’ And it doesn’t matter what it is, really, because — here’s the best part — the stakes will be: If she wins, then I buy her food. And I mean, then, boom! We’re practically on a date at that point! Or if I win ... then she has to kiss me.”
Wyatt couldn’t help himself — he was grinning. Now that he’d said it out loud, how could he have thought this wasn’t going to work?
Psh. You don’t need to live in the 1 percent universe for this — this is a 99 percent plan! Airtight!
But his sister burst out into the loudest, most exaggerated cackle yet, shaking her body from head to toe like she’d been holding it in this whole time. He felt his face fall in doubt for a moment — but only a moment.
No. What does she know. She’s an idiot. She’s never asked anybody out in her life! Why did I even want her advice?
Still, he could feel his cheeks continuing to burn on their own, and he crossed his arms while she finished her giggles.
“Oh. My. God. I’m dead,” she finally managed to say as the laughter subsided. “That is ... I mean ... there is no word for the level of cringe you have attained. It has ascended beyond maximum possible cringe.” Wyatt tried to ignore her. “Really, bruh, no cap: do not do that.”
Rian waited a beat, then went on. “But if you do, please tell me first so I can watch it all explode in your little turd-munching face.”
That was too much. Why did she have to be such an asshole all the time! Wyatt shoved her and she gave a little yelp and a giggle, like she found it amusing instead of how he’d intended it. To drive home the point, she slapped him on the back of the head, hard enough to sting. That only pissed him off more, and he tried to reciprocate, but — infuriatingly — she ducked, still wearing that annoying grin that seemed to say she was enjoying it.
“Mooooommmm!!” she whined. “It’s trying to kill me! Aren’t you gonna do something about your demon-spawn?”
Wyatt was about to wind up for a harder swing when Mom whipped around.
“Can you please quit it until we get inside and no one can tell who’s responsible for you?” Mom looked exasperated, which, to be fair, she almost always did. He felt a little guilty that he and Rian were probably the most common cause.
A temporary detente in place, Wyatt eyed his sister warily, but they kept to themselves, and he went back to practicing what he was going to say to Madison Bell. The key was getting her to agree to the bet to begin with.
“Oh, hey, Madison—what’s that? Why, yes, yes I do sit behind you in algebra. Yeah, the one who loaned you that pencil that one time! Ha ha, oh no, really, it was no problem. I’ve got plenty! No I didn’t need it back!”
Ugh. Don’t talk about pencils, you idiot!
When they entered the fairgrounds, Mom turned to them again. “Okay, everybody’s back at the car at 9, got it?”
Truthfully, Wyatt wasn’t really paying much attention, but he nodded his head anyway. It was all starting to hit home that his plan wasn’t just theoretical anymore — he was actually going to have to walk up to Madison Bell and ... and say all the things he’d been rehearsing.
He was sweating profusely already, and not all of it could be explained away by the heat.
What if her friends come along? She’s always got a bunch of friends with her ... will we have to sit together if I buy her dinner?
Suddenly, there was a powerful smack against his chest and he stumbled back a step. His sister, of course.
“BRUH,” she said, her eyes wide and the most devilishly unsettling smile yet on her face. “IT’S DESTINY.”
Wyatt followed her finger to something up ahead, where a ray of deep, late-afternoon sunshine had found its way between the various booths and rides, bathing its subject in what sure seemed to him like an angelic embrace: Madison Bell.
His breath caught, and he wished he had Mom’s camera to immortalize how she looked in that moment: tall and powerful, with those short-shorts barely covering her tanned thighs below a brightly colored tubetop, her dark brown hair flowing effortlessly down her shoulders. Her reflective sunglasses masked what he knew all too well were chocolate-brown eyes that could melt their subjects with an equally effortless stare — either from the kindness he’d seen her display in moments when she thought no one was watching, or from the boiling-hot lasers she could turn on those who didn’t meet her exacting standards.
As Madison grinned that clever smirk he’d spent so much of his high school career studying from afar, all the doubts about whether this was worth it evaporated — even as it only confirmed how astronomically far out of his league she was.
Of course she is. She’s out of everybody’s league! But when you’re a goddess among mortals, what’s one mortal from another?
Strangely, he found that somewhat comforting.
Until he realized Rian was still laughing at him.
“Oh my GODDD, you are so down bad it’s embarrassing. EARTH TO TURD-MUNCHER!” She waved her hand in front of his face again.
“Ughhh, Rian! Can you please just leave me alone for once!”
He knew better than to think an earnest plea would work with his sister, but he tried anyway. This was probably the most important moment of his life: If things went according to plan here ... well, he didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but he had a hard time not imagining himself with Madison 30 years from now, laughing with their kids about their first kiss at the fair.
Rian stared back at Madison, then at him, the look on her face upending his stomach into a somersault. Before he could react, she grabbed his hand. He couldn’t quite tell what the smirk on her face was saying now, but he was certain it wasn’t anything he wanted to hear.
Confirming his worst fears, his sister was dragging him in the direction he least wanted her to go: toward Madison Bell.
“Rian!!! What—”
She cut him off, turning back as she tugged him along. “Come onnn, let’s just get this over with. I’m saving you a bunch of time and pain, I promise!” Rian had always been stronger, and he slid and stumbled after her unwillingly. “Don’t be such a Wy-baby!”
He tried to pull her arm and tug her back, but he couldn’t, and his palms were only getting sweatier and more slippery. With each step closer, he lost more and more of the will to do anything at all, his body tightening up as they approached Madison and her friends.
“Please, please, please, Riannn!!” he pleaded, trying not to be too loud in case Madison might overhear him acting like ... well, like a Wy-baby.
But Rian just cackled again until finally, they were right in front of the five or six girls — Madison Bell front and center. They stopped their conversation, their faces shifting to the same shared sneering and confused expression as they stared at the unwelcome interlopers.
Rian let go of him and shoved him toward the group, so he was less than a foot from Madison. One of the others started to say something, but Rian interrupted her, speaking directly to Madison.
“Yo Maddawg, this is my idiot brother. Even though you’re a nasty-ass fugly bitch, he’s in love with you and wants to have your babies.”
A rushing in his ears drowned out everything else, and the world seemed to slow to a crawl — except for the pit of his stomach, which dropped like a stone. Wyatt was in that dream where he was naked in school and everyone was laughing at him, his limbs not responding to his desperate pleas to move. Except ... this was really happening. In real life.
Tilting down her sunglasses, Madison looked at the two of them like they were rabid, feral animals. He couldn’t blame her.
Then she started to laugh, staring right at Wyatt and sending his knees into a wobble. He struggled to keep from exploding into tears.
“Wow,” she said, in that voice he would’ve given anything to overhear, “I think the carny tent is back there.”
Her friends giggled, their sneers only deepening.
“Oh cool,” Rian said without missing a beat, all bubbly enthusiasm. “Then I guess you know where you can finally give away your free blowjobs!”
Madison seemed flabbergasted someone would say something like that to her, but Wyatt was barely paying attention now. He wasn’t sure if it was sweat or a tear stinging in his eye, but whatever it was, it helped his despair explode into a raging fury like he’d never felt before — at the sister who ruined MY FUCKING LIFE.
The fury rose from deep down and forced its way out of him as a scream, startling his sister into even more infuriating giggles — like she thought it was funny!
“I’M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!” Wyatt bellowed out, and Rian yelped as he lunged at her — barely missing. She took off at a scamper, and he sprinted after her, trying to weave through the crowd of people to catch up.
But he knew it was a lost cause. She was always faster, nimbler. And it didn’t take long for him to lose track of her entirely in the shifting mass of people.
He slowed to a stop, catching his breath before slamming a powerless fist into his thigh. Wyatt wanted to scream again, maybe to break down and start bawling. He was only 18 and already his life was in irreparable shambles.
I’m never gonna love anyone like Madison Bell. She was the one. I just know it.
Even for Rian, what she’d done was ... just ... too far.
He drooped, sighing and leaning back against the nearest wooden booth wall.
What now?
It didn’t really matter. Nothing did. He let himself seethe a bit and calm down while trying not to draw any attention to himself. Idly, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, like he was just killing time, checking his messages.
And there really was a text waiting for him: from Avery. She was showing off her goat at the 4-H pavilion.
Silver linings, at least.
Avery was the only person in the world he would be okay with telling about what happened. She’d make him feel better. She always did. She’d been the very definition of a best friend since they were little. Some people thought it was weird for a boy to have a best friend who was a girl, and vice versa, but they’d long since grown past that. He really didn’t even see Avery as a girl at all by this point, she was just... Avery. He was sure she saw him the same way.
The stench of animals and their manure hit him as soon as he walked into the un-air-conditioned 4-H shelter, a large barnlike building with a dirt floor and a big, fenced-in area in the middle where they showed off their animals for contests and auctions.
Wyatt had no idea how any of it worked. The contestants — and, honestly, he wasn’t sure if that referred to the animals being led around or to the people leading them — were judged on some mysterious criteria while they trotted around the dirt-and-hay ring, sometimes striking odd poses to show off attributes Wyatt couldn’t begin to guess at. Then the judge, standing in the middle and watching the animals intently, would say some nonsensical stuff in what might as well have been a foreign language that had some cognates like “presentation” and “musculature.”
Avery had tried to explain it all to him plenty of times, but he couldn’t retain any of it. He was way too far out of his depth with this farm stuff. That made them a bit of an odd pairing, especially in the eyes of her parents, since he was nobody’s idea of “outdoorsy” — including his own. But he and Avery had been inseparable since kindergarten. So he always tried his best to hold his nose and keep up as best he could.
The air inside the building was still and heavy, despite the industrial fans in each corner, making it even more stifling than out in the sun. Nonetheless, everybody was wearing jeans, which was yet another thing Wyatt couldn’t understand. It was no wonder all the onlookers and participants in here were even more red-faced than the fairgoers outside.
Spotting Avery’s family standing along the wire fence, he went over to join them. Her mom was holding Avery’s 2-year-old sister, Molly, and her dad and little brother, Brendan, were leaning on the fence in matching poses. He was pretty sure Brendan was around 10, but he wouldn’t have sworn to it.
Once he got closer, Avery’s mom saw him and waved him over with a warm, welcoming smile. She always smiled at Wyatt like that — like ... like they were in on some secret together. She clearly meant well, and was always really nice to him, but ... that extra layer to the smile always confused him a little.
She gave him a matching warm greeting, not-too-surreptitiously nudging her husband at the same time. Avery’s dad was a man of few words. Wyatt would probably go so far as to call him “grizzled.” But underneath the bushy beard and stoic demeanor, Avery insisted there was a fun, goofy side to him that Wyatt never saw. Either way, the man took the hint and nodded at Wyatt’s weak wave hello.
“Good timing, Wyatt!” Avery’s mom said, patting him on the back and ushering him up to the fence with the rest of them. “They’re about to start Avery’s class.”
The gate opened to the enclosure, and sure enough, there was Avery with her goat. An announcer said it was “Class 3 Market Wether,” which meant nothing to Wyatt. He just knew Avery had been practicing with Billi Vanilli for months.
He wasn’t sure if it was okay to wave, so he settled on a smile just in case he wasn’t supposed to distract her or something. Her light red hair was wrapped tightly into two braids against her head that wove into one between her shoulder blades before continuing halfway down her back. Her face was deadly serious and focused, a much deeper shade of crimson than her hair. The taut braids made her ears — burning a brighter red — seem to stick out further from her head, which she’d always been kind of sensitive about. But Wyatt didn’t think they looked weird or silly or anything. On another girl, he would’ve thought they were even kinda cute.
Avery led the goat out and walked it around the judge a couple of times before finishing — apparently — by holding the goat’s head against her torso and stretching out its neck in one of those bizarre, unfathomable poses. Nobody was cheering, like it was a sporting event, although Avery’s mom had put Molly down and was keeping her tethered with one hand while recording Avery on her phone with the other.
The judge made some positive comments, and they had to stand through a few more entries before all the contestants in the class came back out for ... final judgment, or something. Some other girl — or maybe her goat? — won “Champion,” then the judge went over to Avery and awarded her “Reserve Champion,” saying some things about how good the presentation was and something about the goat’s haunches that Wyatt wasn’t sure how to interpret. It must’ve been good, though.
“Wyatt, why don’t you head out the back and give Avery a hand putting Billi back in the trailer?” Avery’s mom winked at him, which he also wasn’t sure how to interpret, but nodded cheerfully enough and made his way to the back exit.
Outside, he let out a relaxing sigh into the slight breeze, even if it still carried the strong whiff of shit on it. Really, though, the relief came from not having to hang around Avery’s parents anymore. They were always really nice and treated him like he was a member of their family — which he practically was with how often they were at each other’s houses — but it was always a little awkward. And ... he just didn’t feel up to fake smiles right now.
He caught sight of Avery’s braid disappearing into one of the line of trailers hitched to pickups, and he followed her up the metal ramp.
She was penning in the goat when she noticed him, her face lighting up — or maybe it was just still glowing red from the heat. Avery always had that smile on around him, though. Her green eyes locked onto him, a few shades darker than the 4-H shirt she was wearing.
“Awww, you came to see me instead of Madison Bell? I didn’t think you’d actually come!” Her arms were around him before he could protest.
“Well ... sorta,” he said once they separated, capsizing her grin.
“What’s that mean?”
Wyatt sighed and told her how he didn’t even get to try his plan, thanks to his sister.
After listening patiently to the whole story, she patted him on the shoulder, but it felt perfunctory. Frankly, she didn’t seem as sympathetic as he was hoping for.
Does she not understand how ridiculously far over the line Rian went this time? Why isn’t she more pissed about this??
Maybe she just wasn’t getting it.
“Rian ruined my shot with the girl of my dreams!” he added, trying to get his point across.
But that didn’t seem to move the needle much, if at all. Avery just pressed her lips together and turned back to the goat, making sure it was locked in place.
“Well, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be, Wyatt. Not saying it’s okay how it happened, but...” She turned back to him. “Plenty of fish in the sea, you know. Maybe ones you don’t have to trick into the boat, even.”
Wyatt thought that was a little trite, but whatever. He knew what she meant in general, and he didn’t want to be too much of a downer.
I just ... was hoping for more, I guess.
Avery’s face softened a little, seeming to notice that wasn’t the reaction he was probably looking for.
“Come on, we’ll do something fun, okay?” she said encouragingly, leading him back out of the trailer.
She slammed the gate shut and they both froze for a second at something that sounded like ... like some kind of yelp from not too far away.
“Baaaaaaa.” A guttural, goatlike sound came from somewhere nearby, followed by some kind of animal-y noises, at least to Wyatt’s ears.
Avery shrugged and smiled, dismissing the bleats and putting her arm around him. She was always like that. He knew it should’ve made him feel like ... like a pussy, but he didn’t mind it. Having Avery’s arm around him really did make him feel a little better, even if her words hadn’t. At least someone cared.
They ended up crossing the fairgrounds back to the parking lot, where her family’s other pickup truck was. Her dad and brother were going to take the animals back as soon as the 4-H stuff was over, but Avery, her mom, and her sister were going to stay here.
He didn’t think to ask why she’d led him to the truck — he was still moping the whole way there, thinking about how he would never know what it was like to kiss Madison Bell. He just stuck his hands in his pockets and stood around while Avery opened the cab and hopped inside.
To his surprise, she peeled off her jeans with a relieved groan, not even closing the door.
Wyatt blushed, knowing he should probably look away ... but he just couldn’t help staring at her flushed, long, muscular legs. Avery was a tiny bit shorter than him, but she’d always been stronger — though, that wasn’t an especially high bar. She did more physical activity every morning than he did in a week.
As he stared at her, his eyes glued to her sinewy thighs, shimmering with a sheen of sweat, he realized he sometimes forgot Avery was most definitely a girl.
She didn’t seem to think anything of it, just tossed her jeans in the back and leaned over to root through a pile of... something. When she bent to rummage behind the seat, he could see her underwear so clearly he could spot the thin, darker ring of sweat around the waistband.
Before he could avert his eyes from where they shouldn’t have been, she turned back, kicking her feet out toward him to slip into a wrinkled pair of shorts. Their eyes met for just a moment, but she didn’t change her expression, didn’t seem to think anything was weird about what she was doing in front of him or that he was watching so intently.
Avery hopped back down, buttoning her shorts, and slammed the door shut again. Exhaling a satisfied sigh, she stretched out her body, exposing her toned midriff as her shirt rode up. But Wyatt kept returning to her legs — like he hadn’t noticed she’d even had legs before.
“Muuuchh better,” she said, smiling at him. “Ready?”
“Huh?”
“I said, ‘Ready?’”
“Oh, uh, yeah.”
Wearing a faint smirk, she took his hand and led him back up the gravel hill to the fairgrounds. There was nothing weird about that, either. She was just ... that kind of person. Always had been. With him, anyway.
It didn’t take long for his mind to return to the disaster that was clouding over everything, though.
I’m never gonna recover from this. Madison is never gonna talk to me again. It’s over. She’s the love of my life. The one. I can feel it in my bones. She’s so beautiful, so smart, so funny — even if other people think she’s a stuck-up bitch. They just don’t see her like I do. Nobody can see her like I do. And now ... she’ll never know. I’ll never have the chance to show her.
Avery nudged him out of his reverie. They were just wandering, or at least, he didn’t know where they were going.
“Quit being so mopey,” she said with a teasing grin. “It’ll be okay.”
She gestured to the line of people that was snaking next to them.
“Here.” She tugged at his hand and pulled him over to the end of the line. “Let’s go on the Ferris wheel. You’ll get some perspective. Maybe you can scope out some cute girl from the top.”
He frowned. If Avery was making those kinds of jokes, then she really didn’t get how disastrous this was. But ... he also knew he was being kind of a bummer, and that ... that wasn’t Avery’s fault. It was his.
Or Rian’s.
With a sigh, he resolved to try to put his own miserable, disastrous, incomprehensibly cataclysmic day to the side — along with his sister’s unforgiveable betrayal — and just try to at least not be a jerk to Avery.
By now, the sun was starting to get low, casting long shadows. Their dark blobs on the ground were merged at the hands, and Wyatt looked up to see Avery was already looking at him. A few uncooperative strands of hair were sticking to her reddened forehead in the humidity.
When Avery paid, he realized he hadn’t even thought about it, which he took as proof he already wasn’t doing a good job not being a jerk to her.
“I’ll get ice cream later, deal?” he said, a little sheepishly.
Her smile got a little warmer, different than the oppressive heat of standing still in the long line.
“It’s okay, nobody’s keeping score. Or at least, I’m not.” She squeezed his hand. “Besides, maybe I just wanna go on the Ferris wheel with you.”
He gave back a weak smile of his own and let loose a deep sigh, his gaze drifting idly up at nothing in particular.
“I don’t mind buying ... I was planning on buying dinner tonight anyway,” he said. On my first date with Madison Bell.
Avery’s hand dropped his, and when it was finally their turn to get into the gondola, he started to piece together that maybe he’d done something wrong — she didn’t even look at him, crossing her arms as soon as they were buckled in.
Shit. She’s probably had it with me being so depressing.
The wheel kept turning in fits and starts while the rest of the passengers were loaded on.
“Sorry I’m not very good company,” he said quietly. She sighed and turned to him, her frown softening a little, which he took as a green light to go on. “It’s just ... I just thought I was getting my first kiss tonight, and—”
Avery groaned and rolled her eyes, shocking him into silence midsentence. The music started and the Ferris wheel began its slow rotation.
“Wyatt, that stupid plan was never going to work!” Her arms were crossed again and she was taking great care to stare the other direction, out toward the setting sun.
He physically recoiled, hurt she would think that, much less say it out loud. And why did she seem so pissed about it?? It was his misery, not hers.
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