A Tasty Little Bit of ASS
Copyright© 2025 by Pixymorph
Chapter 2
John watched the IT tech out the corner of his eye, as Richard flashed through menu screens with the experience of someone who probably saw those screens in their sleep. The other half of his focus was on what was going on outside his office.
In the main concrete ceilinged atrium, a large box was broken into. Metal struts unpacked. Armed with spanners and battery driven impact wrenches, they quickly assembled a metal frame in one of the small unused rooms.
“Just hold your ID against the reader...” John obeyed Richard’s command as he followed the progress on Richard’s laptop as his account was created. “Functionality will be limited until we get the servers up and running.” Richard nodded to where his fellows were currently assembling the racks.
They were quick in their work. No loitering or time wasting.
“There you go Dr Kalinsky. Type in your password.”
John did so in the box and again in the confirmation box.
: Account created:
“And that’s you.” Richard packed away the laptop and removed the cables from John’s computer, stowing them down the sides between the laptop and the hard-shell case. Closing the case, Richard joined the others. Another wooden shipping case had been opened and sever cards carefully extricated from their foam parking.
John recognised the NVidia logo from his own graphics card. The cards were slotted in the newly built racks along with several memory modules and storage units. There followed a lot of cabling.
It wasn’t that exciting, so he went upstairs for lunch and when he came back, his desk had gained a telephone. He lifted the handset and heard a ringtone. There was a business card next to it with a list of departments and their numbers.
The IT men were in the lab for several days, setting up the lab’s central computer and John managed to coerce them into helping him unpack the remaining heavier equipment and connect them all to the single local network. The latter was well beyond his capabilities and some items proved problematic even for the IT guys.
He rewarded them with a couple of bottles of Scotch Whisky. It always paid to keep on the good side of Technical Services.
With the lab’s computer system up and running. John was ecstatic to find that someone had uploaded all his files onto the system. Childless as he was, he wondered if how he felt, was similar to how mothers parted from their young felt when reunited.
John was idly playing with one of the electron microscopes, the optic of which he currently had displayed on one of his three screens, when the main lab door opened. He had taken a sample of his own blood and had placed it on a slide. The microscope was a little more advanced than what he was used to and the best way to learn new equipment was to use it. Being able to remotely control it without having to leave his seat was also a bonus.
Two sets of voices, getting louder. Both he knew, one of them he had not expected to hear again.
“If you could have it delivered before the end of the week. Far too much time has been wasted as it is. Who is in here?”
John looked up with a bemused smile at the figure who appeared in his doorway.
“Hello Sophia.”
“John. I wasn’t expecting to see you.” She looked at his screens. “At least you are not playing solitaire.”
“Well, I’ll leave you to settle in. I will chase up your luggage...” Simmons said the last with a tone that implied the walk down to the lab had not gone the way he had desired. Sophia tended to have that effect on people
“If you would be so kind.” Sophia’s eyes were roaming John’s office, no doubt vacuuming up every little detail as the lab door opened and shut.
: Welcome Sophia:
Sophia looked upwards. “What is that?”
“That’s SHODAN. The Lab’s AI, err, helper.”
“Does it always speak?”
“I told it not to speak to me.” John felt somewhat foolish admitting that.
“And did it listen?”
“Seems to have done so. So far, anyway.”
“SHODAN, be quiet.”
Sophia looked up at the ceiling expectantly.
Silence.
“Show me the lab.”
John stood walked to the doorway. “Those rooms are free. The server was installed a few days ago. It seems to be running ok. All my research from our previous lab appears to have been uploaded.”
“Were you in charge of the layout?” She nodded to the benches with their equipment and the floor standing equipment.
“I unpacked most of the equipment.”
“I saw the space that was going to be assigned to us, complete with its golf course. You have been busy.”
John couldn’t tell if that was a statement or a complement. The British had truly weird ways of conversation. He could never differentiate between whether they were being sarcastic, derogatory, complimentary, humorous or all of the above, at the same time.
“Those boxes there are furniture. Those ones,” He said pointing to some boxes with the image of computer screens on the outside “are screens. I’ll give you a hand assembling the furniture.”
“I’ve screwed a desk before, John.”
And there it was again. He couldn’t tell if it was a reprimand, statement or some weird British double entendre’. Sophia moved to the equipment.
“They are operational?” She asked.
“Yes.”
“Have they been calibrated?”
“Yes. I did it myself.”
“Have you been home?”
“A couple of times.”
“Your impression of Mr Coppersley?”
“He’s left me alone.” John tried to be diplomatic. “Security don’t have access to the lab, nor access to the video feed of the labs. When I arrived. He implied there are cameras that he has access to.”
“Noted, thank you.”
“He never said, at least to me, how many of us there will be down here.”
“There will be three of us. To start at least.”
“Oh. Any idea as to who the third is?”
“Yes. A twenty five year old French girl Odette. Good head on her shoulders. Hard worker. I’ve had my eye on her for a while and requested her services.”
“Oh. Right.” John was starting to get an idea as to the pecking order in the lab. He didn’t have an issue with it, someone was always going to be in charge and he’d never had any issues with Sophia in the past.
Truth be told, he was a little relieved, as he had no wish to have overall responsibility. He’d never been one to take pleasure in commanding others.
He still kept an eye on her through the windows. Part of him was rather annoyed at how quickly she assembled her furniture, only seemingly needing a single look at the instructions.
“How many monitors?” He asked, sticking his head through the door as she finished assembling her chair, giving it test seat in front of her bare desk.
“One is more than perfectly adequate, thank you.”
John retrieved a boxed screen from one of the small offices that he had moved all the spare equipment into. He was loathe to send most of it back to central supply in case he needed any of it in the future. His experience of getting equipment from company stores was a torturous one and he had long ago decided, that it was both easier, and faster, to store excess locally than it was to return it until such times that it was actually needed.
He unboxed the screen and placed it on the desk for her. She followed him back to the impromptu storeroom to collect a boxed keyboard and mouse. Richard had showed him how plug in the ID reader to the workstation and what screens to navigate to create an account.
Sophia said nothing as he fumbled his way through the myriad options, often backtracking until he saw a screen that he remembered.
“Right. Now if you hold your ID against the reader... “Sophia did so and the Little red LED turned green and the screen changed.
: Create account?:
John clicked on the: Yes?: And Sophia’s name appeared in the username slot.
“Put in your password. A confirmation box will appear, type it in again and click on the ‘Ok’.”
John turned his back to Sophia and the computer, listening to the clack of keys and mouse presses.
“Okay. Now what?”
John turned round, looked at the screen.
“That’s it, that’s you. You can arrange your desktop as you see fit.” He took hold of the mouse and moved to the start menu. “You can right click and create desktop shortcuts as you would back at our previous place, it’s the same operating system. My research was located here...” He clicked on a few folders and a long list of filenames that meant nothing to him appeared. “Is that yours?”
“It is.”
He retreated back to the main start menu.
“This one here accesses the cameras.” A grid of ceiling mounted cameras that were pointing down appeared. They covered all the rooms bar the toilettes. There was also a further camera view of the lobby outside the lab.
“Barney does not have access to this, just the views outside the lab. The stairwell, inside the elevators and the shafts themselves. It’s my understanding that Simmons has access to this same feed as we do, as he made a comment about watching Barney play golf in here before I arrived.”
“Barney?”
“The day guard. Frank is the night.”
“Anyone else have access?”
“Not as far as I know. You would have to ask Simmons.”
A strange sound echoed in the Lab.
“What is that?” Sophia asked.
“I’ve no idea.” John went looking for it. As it happened, it was coming from his office and it was his newly installed office phone. John lifted the handset. “Hello?”
“It’s Barney, security, outside.”
“Oh hi Barney, what can I do for you?”
“There are some movers here, with a big box. Well, several boxes really. They need access?”
“Okay, I’m on my way.”
John opened the lab doors and sure enough, there were four men in company uniforms, one big wooden freight box and several smaller ones. One of them handed over a clipboard that held a shipping manifest that was totally devoid of any information that John understood, other than the air freight logo.
“What is it?”
“No Idea. We just hump and dump...”
By the look of it, there was no way he was going to manage the big one by himself.
“Okay bring them in.” If they were some elaborate Trojan horse, then they would have to have been passed through whatever security the little airport had and the security detail upstairs. Barney was realistically only there for show.
There was a grunt and the big box creaked into motion.
“SHODAN. Delivery, temporary access has been granted.”
: Understood Dr Kalinsky:
“Oh! That is mine. This way please gentlemen.”
John met the lead movers gaze, shrugged and waved his arm in Sophia’s direction. The big box was too large to go through Sophia’s office doors, so John handed over the crowbar and battery drill he had been using to undo the bolts of the boxes he had unpacked. The men were considerably more violent than he had been and all the quicker for it.
As the lid and sides came off the largest box, a familiar shape started to reveal itself. Sophia’s mechanical womb. John left them to it and retreated back to his office, shutting the door on Sophia’s continual stream of instructions and commands. It was obvious now, the direction and focus the research was heading in.
A pang of hunger drew his gaze to the clock on the bottom right of his middle screen. It was almost 1700hrs. John popped his head into Sophia’s office.
“I’m going for something to eat and then heading home. The restaurant upstairs is pretty good. They do breakfasts as well.”
She didn’t even look at him, her gaze focussed on the schematic spread out on the floor, surrounded by piping and cables. Instead, she gave a single cursory wave, just to acknowledge that she had heard him.
“Ok, I ‘II leave you to it, see you in the morning.”
The meals were pretty good and he wondered if he should either cut back on them, or take up something energetic and calorie burning to offset them. He couldn’t really see himself hiking or riding a bike. Well, actually, he could picture himself riding a bike. Mostly off a cliff. Or into the arms of a bear, or a mountain lion or whatever they had here with big teeth and hungry appetites.
At home, he made his way up to his bedroom, switched on his computer and logged onto Steam.
When tiredness finally reared its head, he stopped playing, shut his computer down and went to bed.
“Hand me that blue pipe. No, the other blue pipe.”
John did as was bade. The womb was mostly connected. They’d had another delivery that morning. A large well insulated cask containing liquid nitrogen that held all the samples from the previous facility. An electrician had to come down and wire the unit in properly. All that was stopping their progress now was whether or not the mechanical womb was viable.
“And that green one”.
He passed over the green one. John studded the schematic, trying to work out what she would want next. It would have been great if they could have shipped it in one piece. Or if it had quick connect units, but it had never been designed or built with movement in mind.
The lab door opened, most likely Simmons. So much for him being ‘hands off’.
“Hello? Anyone here?” The voice was female and as French as you get and still speak English.
“I think your helper is here.” John remarked to the pair of ankles.
“What?” Sophia asked as she wriggled out from within her life’s work. A no mean feat in itself for someone her age wearing a long heavy skirt.
“I said, ‘I think your’,”
“Hello! Anyone here?”
: Good afternoon Miss Garnier:
“Um thanks. Anyone here weird AI thing?”
“We are in here Odette!” Sophia called out.
John picked up a bracket in order to look busy.
“Put that down!” Sophia snapped. John put it back down as a figure appeared in the doorway.
Oh for fucks sake. John swore in his head.
Their new arrival was almost the antithesis of Sophia. Young, fairly tall for a woman, slim, long brown hair and a face that was definitely pleasing to eye, or at last John thought so. He doubted many men would disagree, if they could get past the tight leggings, bare midriff and sports bra like top. She was wearing a short, long sleeved bolero type top, that wasn’t fastened but hung naturally over her breasts, obscuring them, but not the cleavage in between.
Sophia walked over and the two women embraced, did the double kiss thing. John wanted to melt into the concrete floor.
“How was your flight?”
“Long.”
“This is John Kalinski, we worked together before. John, this is Odette.”
Please don’t.
She strode over to him, forcing him to be polite and stand.
Don’t...
She did.
She wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, and her lips touched both his cheeks. He didn’t know where to put his hands, resulting in an awkward tap of her back as his brain panicked, tried not to think about what was pressing into his chest and said the first thing that came to mind.
“Bonjour.”
She replied with a long string of French that he didn’t understand one word of, but could have happily listened to for hours.
“Sorry, err, Odette. I only know Bonjour and Merci.” And that was mostly from films.
She was very distracting and he was all too aware of his own age.
“I’ll leave you to it.” John hastily beat a retreat back to his own office. It was an hour before he could concentrate.
Odette moved into Sophia’s lab come office. Which disappointed and relieved John equally at the same time.
The initial test runs did not go well. Attempts by John to create embryos from human skin cells were not growing properly. The theory said it was possible, but the practical results tantalising as they were, were not bearing reliable fruit. He slipped the sample back into the nitrogen tank and removed his thick insulated gloves. He sat back at his computer and tapped the top of his pen against his teeth.
He sighed deeply, typed away at his keyboard.
: Sample 15.6.18 unviable:
Oh well, back to the drawing board.
: Sample 20.7.18 Unviable:
: Sample 4.8.18 Unviable:
: Sample 19.9.18. Unviable:
: Sample 23.10.18 Unviable:
: Sample 22.11.18 Unviable:
: Sample 30.1.19 Unviable:
: Sample 3.5.19 Unviable:
“What if we go back to basics?” Odette asked as they all sat around the table, nursing two teas and a coffee.
“In what way?” John asked between sips of his coffee.
“We do a control run. Confirm viability. A simple egg and sperm fertilisation.”
“You know why we don’t Odette.”
“I know John but...” Odette shrugged.
Sophia was quiet. Which in John’s experience was a bad sign. It was a grey area. So grey that it was basically black. What Odette was suggesting. Regulatory bodies had strict rules on how long a fertilized embryo could be kept and the requirement to test the efficacy of the artificial womb far exceeded that. And that didn’t even take into consideration the court of public moral opinion. Which was a fickle beast at the best of times.
They only had a few sperm and ovum, and their use was meticulously recorded by Sophia, because that was the way she was. Should there ever be an outside audit, for whatever reason, then the records of their biological samples would be one of the first items they would audit. If they allowed a fertilised egg to gestate past the cut-off point, then there would be legal basis for the argument that the sample was a ‘life’ and that it’s destruction would be tantamount to murder. And they needed the ovum to be taken to term to prove the artificial womb’s operational viability.
To do that they would need samples that were ‘off the books’.
Like fuck was he going to suggest a source for that!
“Well, if I supplied the egg, and John...”
Fuck no!
There was at least a full minute of silence before Sophia broke it.
“I’m not against the idea...”
Oh fuck.
“Do you know where you are in your cycle Odette?”
To John, Sophia’s question was a stupid one. Odette was almost as methodical as her mentor, and John wouldn’t have been surprised if Odette had said she measured and logged the size and consistency of her shit.
“Yes.”
“Okay. We’ll do it.”
Hang on a minute! Don’t I get a say in this!
“We will need a fertility assessment from you John. I’ll leave that up to you, the results sooner than later as I may have to move fast.”
Thanks Sophia!
John looked down at the vial and its stabilisation liquid. Producing was not going to be an issue. It was the rest of it.
“Fuck.”
He couldn’t believe that he was going to be party to this insanity. He unbuckled his trousers, pulled down the front of his boxers. Getting hard was not an issue as Odette’s proffered lab attire tended to be a sports bra top and either figure hugging leggings or equally tight shorts. He could never work out who she was trying to impress, as it was only the three of them down here.
It never occurred to him that she wore what she wore because she found the attire comfortable.
Muscles contracted and he aligned the open mouth of the vial. After the last spurt, John placed the vial on the sink and wiped the tip of his cock before putting it away.
Using a glass stirring rod, he mixed up the two substances inside and let a drop from the end of the glass rod drip onto a glass slide, gently placing a fragile coverslip on top. He took the slide through to the microscope and placed it on the stage, clipping the slide into place via the two sprung metal clips.
In the old days, he would have partitioned the view into a grid and counted all the sperm in one square to get an estimate of how many tadpoles he had. Now, AI controlled the microscope, moving the sample back and forth, counting the entirety in the sample.
A job that once took tedious hours, took seconds. The results would be on his screen by the time he walked back to his computer.
The count was low, but average for his age group. Which was a little emotionally disappointing. He labelled the vial, adding in cryoprotectant before splitting the contents into further smaller sample tubes. He put the five tubes into a carrier and after putting his gloves on, opened the freezer tank and dropped his samples into almost minus two hundred degrees Celsius purgatory.
Odette was walking around in a surgical gown. She still wore her usual top underneath, but she was naked from the waist down. He knew that, because the back kept wafting open as she moved, flashing her distractingly pert buttocks. She was humming to herself as she collected the equipment that was needed.
A gynaecological chair that dropped down to form a bed, had been acquired and was in their office/lab, taking up what little space was left. The pair of them were chatting happily away about some fashion show or other as Odette sat in the chair, slipping her bare feet into the stirrups.
John was surprised that Sophia had any interest in fashion, as she wore the same long skirt, blouse and practical jumper every day. A walking piece of English Aristocracy. There were blinds for the smaller rooms, but neither women had drawn the ones on their office windows and since he could see into their lab/office from his, he took himself off to a distant part of the main lab to tinker
with equipment that didn’t need tinkering with, but was out of visual range of the women’s office and what was currently going on inside.
: Sample 12.9.19 viable:
They stared at the growing foetus through the observational window in curious fascination.
It was currently at day nine of what should have been the twenty week position in the natural process.
John had no idea how many laws they were breaking but it was going to be a lot.
Odette’s head leaned against his as she also looked through the window. Her arm slipped around his waist. More for support with the awkward viewing angle than for any other reason.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
John wasn’t so sure about that.
The foetus inside had some obvious physical deformities. Like the tail for a start.
He had proposed terminating the experiment when the abnormalities had started to become apparent. The skull wasn’t quite right and the limbs longer and slender than they should be. Both women had immediately shut down his recommendation, for what he suspected were completely different reasons.
There was a lot of discussion as to the cause of the deformities. The embryonic fluid was synthetic and, according to Odette, as Sophia always found reasons to avoid answering the question, ridiculously expensive. And their budget wasn’t limitless. So instead of using fresh fluid with each trial, they, well the two women, as John had no say in the matter, used the same fluid for each attempt.
Sophia had said that would change once viability was established and they could justify the expense with an actual tangible result.
Like what was currently floating a foot in front of his face.
John personally suspected molecular contamination from the DNA already in the fluid. Especially since some of that DNA was of suspect origins in the first place.
They would know more, when after the ‘birth’, they would be able to take biopsies and compare the genetic makeup of 12.9.19 with the DNA of the previous samples that had resulted in non-viable embryos.
Odette was topless and was currently holding 12.9.19 to her chest. Not actually having been pregnant, her breasts were not enlarged with milk. So John put the sight down to some form of actual science about the emotional maternal bonding that a new born took from the safety of hearing the heartbeat of its mother.
There was a lot to psychologically unpack about that, as 12.9.19 had only ever been subjected to the vibrations of a mechanical pump rather than the beat of a living heart. So trying to transpose what he was looking at, with normal behaviour, was dangerously flirting with pseudo-science in his opinion.
The more this experiment progressed, the bigger the ethical minefield became, but holy shit, the implications.
And not just the fact that the mechanical womb worked and demonstratively so.
“Can you pass me that bottle please?”
John collected the warm bottle and walked over to Odette, trying not stare at her breasts and failing miserably. With any luck, she would think he was staring at 12.9.19.
The little face turned to him, some weird inhuman noises escaped those lips. An arm rose in his direction, as two sets of disturbingly pointed teeth were revealed.
“Are you not worried you’ll lose a nipple to that set of teeth?”
“She’ll never hurt me...”
That sounded to John like infamous last words. He handed her the bottle.
“Well, if she does bite one off and doesn’t swallow it, I can superglue it back on for you.”
“Here, hold her.”
“Oh god no!”
Odette stood, all but thrust 12.9.19 into his arms.
“I’m not really...”The tip of her tail smacked across his face. It was a deceptive blow, stronger than looked possible given the size of the rest of her. An incomprehensible chattering escaped the little ones lips as she stared up at John.
“See! I told you she likes you!”
He still had his doubts about that.
“Just watch for her claws John.”
Very much like a cat, a recessed talon resided in the ends of each of her toes and fingertips. Odette insisted that when she extended and retracted them repeatedly, very much like she was doing now, she was happy.
John had his doubts about that as well.
12.9.19 was naked but for a disposable nappy that had been adapted for a tail. A tail that was currently trying to stave his face in.
“You might as well feed her.” Odette handed him the bottle. She picked up her top. John tried to focus on placing the nipple in the little mouth of the creature that was still trying to give him two black eyes. Odette raised both arms above her head to slide the top down and over her head. She hadn’t even turned her back to him, exposing her two wonderful assets and a myriad of scratches all over her torso to his appreciative but embarrassed gaze.
12.9.19 clutched at the bottle with her hands as she guzzled down the contents.
“Awe! That’s so cute.” Odette said with a loving smile.
John felt anything but cute. Mainly because he had an inquisitive tail trying to work its way up his nose. Odette was an enigma wrapped up in a conundrum as his late mother used to say. She appeared to have no social life outside of the lab. She did not have an onerous personality and was certainly not onerous to look at. John could see no reason why she didn’t have a ‘significant other’.
Odette never talked about having feelings for another. Yet the bond she had with 12.9.19 was definitely similar to that of a mother.
It was the Friday end of the week summary. 12.9.19 was playing with a ball.
Odette had brought in a doll the week previous which 12.9.19 had promptly dismembered and tried to eat. That was the start and end of ‘the experiment with dolls’.
John was watching her more than he was paying attention to the current enthusiastic difference of opinion between Odette and Sophia. The current discussion was going nowhere fast and John was partly thinking of ways to move the meeting on.
“Do you think we should give 12.9.19 an actual name?” The other two stopped arguing.
Job done.
“Lis.” Odette said promptly.
A bit too promptly, John thought.
Sophia looked at Odette with narrowed eyes for a moment then smiled with an accompanying snort. John was aware he was missing something, but couldn’t work out what.
He looked round at the other men sat round the table. “Good Afternoon gentlemen. Let’s get started shall we?” He nodded at one of the figures. “How is your project progressing?”
“Very well. A viable test result was achieved.”
“Really?” He looked down and shuffled through the papers in front of him till he found the one he needed. A brief over-view of the project. Mainly the financials.
“But there is a caveat.” Cautioned the second man.
“Yes?”
“The team have, as yet, been unable to replicate it.”
“But it worked?”
“It worked.” Confirmed the second man
The first man studied the costings. So far it had cost a negligible amount, all things considered. There had been some complications along the way. But that was always, inevitably, the case. The potential profit, however, was stratospheric.
He nodded, acknowledging the caveat.