Chapter 1

Valerie Winsor hums along to the radio while washing-up in the kitchen and can hear them both playing boisterously together behind her.

Jessica is squealing with delight as Dan romps with her daughter on the floor.

It’s reminiscent of herself as a schoolgirl romping with him at home and now her daughter Jessica is the apple of his eye. But Valerie would always guard against feeling any jealousy against her daughter.

Staring out at the darkness through the window she recalled romping with Dan just the same; his laugh, his sensuous fondle, his biceps and his physical warmth; he had enraptured her.

But Valerie also recalled how that carefree sensuality had been crippled by her mother’s malice. One evening as dad and daughter romped around, mother had entered the room and had spoken with such sudden icy spite... ‘Stop it! Get off him Valerie! You should be past this sort of thing now my girl!’

In that instance Valerie knew what was implied; that their activity was not decent!

Something precious had been replaced by a guilt complex. It had also induced a deep sense of shame into Valerie’s sexuality.

Much later at eighteen, she’d become engaged to James Anderson. When they’d ventured into full sex; she discovered something about herself. Only a guilt-ridden fantasy of Dan allowed her to climax with James ... but he was blissfully unaware of it.

For Valerie, sex was a cocktail which included a shot of Dan and a shot of Shame.

But it was a bedroom secret she’d hid from her husband even after Jessica was born and up to the death of her husband in a fatal road accident a year ago!

On learning about James dying, her Father had rung her from Melbourne; to offer her his condolences to his daughter. It was an emotional phone call for them both.