Chapter 18: Seed of Despair

Antares stares awkwardly at Nathi across from himself. He’d never been dancing before, least of all with a girl he’d never met, and he is feeling awfully sloppy and uncoordinated. His mind strains to think of something to say, but instead draws a dull blank, and he can feel himself growing steadily more embarrassed, as he flubs another move in the dance.

If he had more presence of mind, he might have noticed that Nathi was doing at least as poorly-She is substantially shorter than him, making it somewhat difficult to match their moves together. But Antares’s mind in that moment is little more than a dull buzz of half-formed thoughts and alcohol-fueled spontaneity.

Desperate to impress, he attempts an overblown maneuver and ends up sweeping Nathi’s legs out from under her, collapsing both of them onto the ground in a heap. “U-um, sorry.” Antares mumbles, staggering back up to his feet. “I-I’m just feeling jittery. Are you ok?” He asks, offering a hand down to Nathi, who bats it away as she stands up to her feet.

“I’m fine.” She replies shortly, sighing in irritation. “Let’s just keep going until my parents let me leave.”

Antares doesn’t know what to say, so he tries to settle back into the rhythm ... Not that there is much rhythm to the irregular beat of the drums and music that can barely be heard over the clamor of festival sounds.

Eventually, unable to bear the awkwardness any longer, Antares does his best to do what Reia had told him to... ‘get to know the girl’. But the only thing he can think of right then is Alunya, and how upset he had been to be left on the sidelines...

Alunya. My little brother. Family. Wait, that’s something I could ask about, right? So he coughs to clear his throat and then mumbles “So ... What’s your family like?” He can feel his words slurring together as he speaks, and ends up having to repeat himself before Nathi actually hears him.

Nathi looks reluctant to speak, but eventually responds. “I’m the second youngest out of seven kids. My parents’ farm isn’t that big, so I think they’re eager to have some of us move out.” She explains, shortly, not offering any additional details.

Antares tries to imagine what that could be like- He feels like having six Alunya’s running around demanding his attention would give him a heart attack.

Of course, that probably isn’t what it is actually like ... Even he was aware that most people’s relationships with their siblings aren’t as close as him and Alunya. So eventually, he asks, “How do you feel about them?”

Nathi just stares blankly for a moment. “They’re fine, I guess. It sure is noisy. I wouldn’t hate moving out either. But my parents don’t have alot to spare for a dowry, so I guess that’s why I’m here dancing with the likes of you.” She barks out a laugh.

Antares looks at her, confused, not understanding what that meant. There is a subtle pounding in his head, and further thought seems difficult, so he just ignores the statement and does his best to keep ‘dancing’ despite the slow, sloppy nature of it.

Alunya’s silent vigil with Risa is interrupted when Vekt comes calling, finished with his dance. The adolescent squints his eyes at Alunya, suspiciously.

“ ... What are you doing here, whitehead?” He questions. “And why are you hanging out with my sister?”

Risa sighs. “Ugh, lay off of it, bro, we were just chatting.” She stands up, stretching.

Alunya looks up at Vekt as well. Normally he might be fairly hostile to the boy who was normally such a jerk to Antares, but today he just feels exhausted from how many weird and gross people had been out that day; it isn’t like Vekt is near that bad. So instead of retorting hostilely, he just responds “Ari is out dancing, and she’s the only other person I know that I could find to talk to.” matter-of-factly.