Traces of Desire - Cover

Traces of Desire

Copyright© 2025 by Big Ed Magusson

Chapter 25

We had a decent movie night with two comedies that Liz and Len had picked out. The films cheered me up immensely. I suspected that’s why that’s why my friends had picked those movies, but I didn’t have any actual proof. Still, it helped.

Then on Tuesday, I plunged right back into the dark pit. We got our chemistry midterms back and I’d gotten a C-, which was not going to cut it for pre-med. Nowhere close. I just stared at it in despair and shock. I ... well, despair took me and the only saving grace was that the professor scheduled a special review section specifically to go over the exams.

What sucked was that it was late Thursday afternoon, when Lori was due to arrive. I grumbled in my head as I stomped back to the room. I calmed down some when I saw Len was waiting for me so we could go to dinner. He started to say something and I cut him off.

“So,” I asked, “when does Lori get here?”

“Uh ... Thursday?”

“Yeah. What time?”

“I don’t know exactly. Why?”

I told him about the review session.

“Pfft. Don’t worry about it. We’re not meeting Denise and Debbie until six. You’ll be back at, what, 5:30?”

“Yeah ... if it goes well.” It still sucked. It wouldn’t give me as much time with Lori as I’d hoped...

“And they said they’d bring sandwiches.” He smiled. “So we’ll make a picnic of it.”

“Oh?” I blinked, mollified. That was new.

“That’s actually really nice of them,” I said. “What do we need to bring?”

“Drinks and dessert. I’ll take care of it.” He smiled. “You should go to the study session.”

I nodded. Yeah, I needed to do that. I needed to pull my grade up. Besides, I was sure Lori would understand.


The study session went well. We went through the entire test problem by problem. I’d made a couple of dumb mistakes and hadn’t understood some of the nomenclature. That had cost me. Each nomenclature error cascaded into a lot of lost points. But it was easy for me to fix for the next exam. With relief, I finally left the review session a little late but not too late.

And now Lori was here!

I started to jog back to the dorm but caught myself. Arriving sweaty was not the way to make a good impression. Still, I quick-walked as best I could. I was a little out of breath after I’d climbed my stairs so I paused outside the door. I checked my hair with my hand and took a deep, calming breath. Then I opened the dorm room door.

The R.E.M. song “Talk About the Passion” played on Len’s boom box. A thin wisp of smoke rose from a stick of incense burning on his desk—floral this time. I guessed he was mixing it up. Len sat at his desk, but my eyes immediately swept past him—

“Mike!” Lori rose from my chair with a huge smile. She opened her arms wide for a hug.

Mrs. Mahoney didn’t raise a fool. No way was I going to pass that up. I stepped in and found myself in a full-body hug with my arms wrapped around her. She squeezed me tight. She smelled faintly of roses. A sense of calm washed through me.

The hug stretched on. I’d have called it electric, but it was less a spark than a warm blanket. She enveloped me like sinking into a hot bath.

We breathed together, and I was sure she felt it too. Then she pulled back and looked at me with a hint of surprise. I couldn’t read her expression after that.

“Great to see you!” I said. What the heck had just happened?

“You, too!” She beamed.

Len chuckled. “You two look good together.” Before I could ponder what he meant, he continued.

“C’mon.” He stood. “We don’t wanna miss the opening act.”

“This is going to be so awesome!” Lori practically bounced on her toes. I focused on her face and not what else was moving up and down and smiled. She realized what I was doing and her eyes crinkled with amusement.

It was already turning into a night to remember.

Len gave me a look I didn’t understand, but it felt right. Then he turned to his sister. “Ready?”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Let’s go.”


Lori stood eagerly by as I grabbed my windbreaker even though I wasn’t sure I’d actually need it. The early October weather had remained pleasant, instead of giving us an early snow, like it often did. Then Len handed me the heavier of two grocery bags to carry with a small smirk. I had the pop cans and the cupcakes. I figured the extra weight was a small price to pay for my share.

As we walked toward the concert, we mostly talked about music, though Lori and I did chat about biology and chemistry. She sympathized when I said I was finding chemistry a bigger challenge than I’d expected.

Denise and Debbie met us on the steps of the Business School, which was across the street from the Events Center where people were already streaming in. Len gave Debbie a quick hug before sliding his arm around Denise’s waist. He rested his hand on her hip before taking Debbie’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

“Lori,” he said, “I’d like you to meet Denise and Debbie.”

Lori brightened immediately. “I’ve heard so much about you. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Oh, us too!” Debbie replied as they shook hands. “Len’s said such nice things.”

They exchanged a few more pleasantries and fell into easy conversation like they’d known each other for years. They were certainly instantly comfortable with each other.

We got out the food and I watched as they talked. I realized the three women could’ve been sisters. While they wore their hair in different styles, it was the same shade of blonde with only a few different highlights here and then. Len seemed equally amused by them. Lori had effortlessly turned on the charm, much like her brother. Somehow they had “cool” in their genes.

The sandwiches Denise and Debbie had brought were surprisingly good and I found myself wishing for another, but I restrained myself. Instead, I just basked in Lori’s presence. We’d already split into two groups with her by my side and the other three across from us. That felt ... really nice. Like we were already a couple. The other three certainly treated us that way.

When we finished eating, Len said he wanted to use the restrooms in the Business School before the concert. Denise and Debbie thought that was a great idea.

“Do you want to go with us?” they asked Lori.

“I’m fine.”

Len grinned. He slid between the D&D twins, put his arm around Debbie, and then kissed Denise on the cheek. They gave us one more smile before they headed inside. Lori watched them go.

“Oh, Len,” she said with an affectionate sigh.

“What’s the matter?”

“Oh, nothing. It’s just what he does.”

“Which is?”

“He tends to gather a harem wherever he goes. I’m sure you noticed.”

Of course I had. I was surprised that she had. But then, she was his sister. She knew him better than anyone.

“So you’re okay with that?”

She shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Don’t most women—”

She chuckled, and I shut up. Lori was not “most women” and I knew that.

“Yeah,” I said instead, “you’re right.”

“But are you okay with it?” she asked.

“What?” I said. “Him having two girlfriends?” Well, three with Julie.

“Oh, they’re not girlfriends. They’re just women he’s sleeping with.”

“Isn’t that the same thing?”

She shrugged. “Does it have to be?”

I didn’t know what to say about that. The idea was still so new to me. So foreign to how I’d been raised.

Without a word, Lori patted my leg. It was fond and reassuring and we fell comfortably silent until Len and the D&D twins emerged from the building. We stood as they joined us and we all started off for the Events Center. I walked by Lori, completely aware of her laugh and her words and she chatted with the others. I felt like I was basking in the sun.

As we got close to the Events Center, we started to run into other clumps of people streaming toward the concert. By the time we got to the doors, we were in a regular smushed crowd, with the flow of our people-river choked up at the ticket takers. We slid into a single file, Len in front with Denise and Debbie, then Lori and me.

Once inside, Len paused. He looked at the tickets and then pointed to the right.

Lori and I brushed up against each other in the crowd. She smiled at me and then the back of her hand touched mine. We reached a pinch point where we had to squirm to get through a mass of people, so I took her hand. When we popped free she gave me a light squeeze and didn’t let go. I savored her palm warm against mine and actually regretted it when we reached our seats and she let me go.


The moment the opening act took the stage, we were on our feet. I wasn’t too familiar with the Camper Van Beethoven, but the music was good. We stood the entire time they played. Lori danced in place and occasionally nudged me into doing the same. Len and Denise and Debbie also danced across the aisle. When they finished, Lori and I shared a smile.

I wasn’t sure if this was a date, but it sure felt like one.

Then R.E.M. took the stage.

The energy in the arena went to eleven. We screamed and yelled. We cheered when the crowd cheered. We sang along when we knew the words. Most of the lyrics I didn’t know well.

Until they played “Superman.

I joined in at the top of my voice. Lori turned and we shared a huge grin. All my doubts faded. I was high on her smile.

Then the band hit the line: “I can do anything.”

I knew I could.

I reached over and took her hand. She squeezed mine. I twirled her. I actually twirled her! There wasn’t enough space to do it again so reluctantly, I let her hand slip from mine.

We finished the song singing to each other and dancing a little in place, neither looking at the stage. Her face glowed, radiant with excitement. We sang and shimmied and smiled—oh how she smiled—until the song finally ended.

I was high! Not from the small traces of pot smoke in the air. But Lori. Being with Lori. Between the music and the crowd and her smile—I was flying.

We kept dancing and singing along until the band left the stage, and then only so we could clap and join the demand for an encore.

They gave us two. With multiple songs each. We cheered and clapped and called out for more until it was clear there wouldn’t be any. Only as we headed toward the exit did my euphoria begin to fade.

But only a little.

As we were working our way through the crowd, Lori’s hand brushed mine.

I took it and held it. And didn’t let go.

 
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