Traces of Desire
Copyright© 2025 by Big Ed Magusson
Chapter 20
I jerked awake from what had been a very pleasant dream, though I couldn’t remember all the details. I had a vivid memory of naked blondes lounging around a swimming pool, but that was about it. I heard a loud noise and it took me a second to realize that someone was ringing the doorbell again and again and again. I glanced at the clock—two in the morning. I scrambled out of bed, doing my best to ignore how badly my erection was tenting my PJ pants.
Michelle and I both hurried into the hallway at about the same time. She glanced my way and I hoped she hadn’t seen the way my jammies pushed out. But she didn’t say anything as we hurried to the front door.
Michelle beat me there. She flipped on the porch light and peered through the peephole. With a gasp, she wrenched the door open.
“Sam! What are you doing here?”
“Oh, thank God,” my sister’s friend Samantha said. “Can I come in?”
“Sure, sure!” Michelle reached out and took her by the arm. Samantha looked both worn and relieved as Michelle shut the door behind her. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I think so.” Samantha’s shoulders slumped. She had her shoes in one hand and used the other to brush her long hair out of her face.
“C’mon.” Michelle led her to the kitchen with me trailing close behind. She flipped the lights on. “Water? Food? Aspirin?”
“Water.” Samantha sagged into the closest chair.
“You need to use the phone?” I asked.
She shook her head.
Michelle handed her a glass of water from the tap and then sat in the chair next to her.
“So what happened?” Michelle asked. “Why are you here?”
“I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Start at the beginning,” I said.
She paused and took a deep breath. Then she nodded and began.
“We were at the dance.”
“Yeah,” Michelle said. “We talked to you.”
“After that.”
Michelle nodded.
“We?” I asked.
“Me and Jerry.” Her face tightened into a sneer.
“So after we talked...,” Michelle prompted.
“Yeah, well, he said he was gonna go have a smoke with Tony.” She curled her lip in a sour frown.
“Ugh.” Michelle rolled her eyes.
I frowned myself. Given Dad’s health issues, I had pretty low opinions of smokers.
“Yeah, and then he was gone, for, like, an hour!”
“Really?” Michelle tilted her head with a look of confusion.
“You guys were already gone,” Samantha said with another dismissive wave of her hand.
My sister shot me a quick guilty look, but I kept my face bland. It wasn’t like I hadn’t left dances early with Andrea so we could be alone and still be home by curfew. Michelle turned back to her friend.
“So then what?” I asked.
“I found Tony. Jerry wasn’t with him. Tony didn’t know anything.”
“So what’d you do?” Michelle asked.
“I went to the smoking lounge.” Sam shook her head.
“Not there?” I asked. Not that the smoking lounge was really a lounge. It was just an outside nook near one of the doors where the school tolerated smokers congregating.
“Nope.” She turned back to Michelle. “That’s when I saw him!”
“Where?”
“Coming back in from the parking lot with Jodi.”
“Jodi!? No way!”
“Way. They split up before they came inside but he was with her.”
I stiffened. Even I’d heard salacious stories about Jodi and I’d been a grade ahead. Jodi was the one with the reputation. I didn’t know if the stories were true, and I certainly didn’t believe half of them, but there were so many, especially ones where she fooled around with someone else’s boyfriend. I figured some of them had to be true.
“So what’d he say?” Michelle asked.
“He said he’d gone for a walk to clear his head. Can you believe it?”
Michelle snorted.
When I asked about Jodi, he said he hadn’t seen her. But I saw them!”
“Oof,” Michelle said.
They ripped into Jerry for a few minutes while I got steadily bored. Eventually, they wound down their mutual tirades about all the nasty things he’d said during their fight (and some of them were truly nasty) and paused for a breath.
“Uh ... so how’d you get here?” I asked.
“What?” Sam said blankly. “Oh! I walked. From the 7-Eleven.”
My chin dropped. That was over a mile.
“What?” Michelle blurted. “Why didn’t you call?”
“The payphone was broken.”
“Why the 7-Eleven?” I asked.
“That’s where he pulled over.”
“And he left you there?” My blood began to boil.
“I got out. He took off.”
“What a fucking asshole!” Michelle said.
I tensed at both her tone and language. But Samantha nodded. Then she set her water down.
“Can I use your bathroom?”
“Of course!” Michelle said.
The two of them got up, gave me a nod, and headed toward the hallway. I fidgeted, not knowing exactly what to do while I waited.
Michelle emerged from the hallway a minute later. She looked grim.
“Sam’s gonna spend the night,” Michelle announced. “Okay?”
“Shouldn’t we call her mom?” I asked.
“They weren’t expecting her before noon.”
“Still...”
Michelle shook her head. “She needs sleep. She can do that here.”
I slowly nodded. I wasn’t crazy about not calling her mom, but if she really wasn’t due back until lunch, it’d be fine.
“So what do you need?”
“Can I borrow one of your t-shirts?”
I frowned. “Mine? What for?”
“For Sam.”
“Why not let her borrow one of yours?” I shot back peevishly, although I wasn’t sure why I was annoyed.
“Because she’s bigger than I am?” Michelle said with exaggerated patience. “Up top.”
“Oh, uh. Yeah. Sure. Of course.”
Michelle gestured toward my room and her imperious look made it clear what she expected. She followed me and stood in the doorway as I rummaged through my drawer until I found the biggest t-shirt I had—my Talking Heads t-shirt. I tossed it to my sister.
“Here.”
“Thanks.” She smiled at me. “See you in the morning.” Then her eyes flicked downward and she smirked. “Sweet dreams.”
I groaned. I guessed she had noticed my earlier erection. Oh, well.
I got out of bed at the reasonable hour of eight o’clock. I brewed some coffee and about the time it finished, Samantha entered the kitchen. She paused in surprise when she saw me and I quickly realized why. She wore my t-shirt which hung down to her upper thigh and was pretty clearly not wearing anything but panties underneath. But I kept my eyes up, which seemed to relieve her. At least she gave me a small smile.
“Coffee?”
“Please.”
I smiled pleasantly and filled another mug. She sank into one of the chairs and smiled gratefully when I handed her the coffee. Then I sat opposite her.
“So how are you doing?” I asked.
“Fine. Tired.” She took a long sip from her mug.
I smiled and waited while she drank. She’d pulled her light brown hair back into a ponytail instead of letting it frame her face like it normally did. That actually highlighted her strong cheekbones and made me wonder why she didn’t do it more often. She’s never had any problems getting guys, but now I was wondering if she was getting the right guys. I couldn’t believe Jerry had left her at a 7-Eleven.
Samantha took in a long breath and let it out. A small smile crept onto her lips as she sipped more coffee.
“I’ll fix breakfast when you’re ready to eat,” I said. “It won’t be much, but...”
She gave me a small smile.
“I’m sorry about what happened,” I said.
She shrugged. “I wish I could say it was a surprise...”
“Yeah, I know what you mean.”
She looked expectantly at me.
“I was surprised when Andrea dumped me,” I said, “but looking back ... there were signs. Plenty of them.”
She nodded. “Yeah. Me, too.”
“I hope some day you’ll look back on this and laugh.”
She snorted. “I doubt it.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right.”
“Like, I thought he really cared—but he’s a lying scumbag.”
I didn’t know what to say so I simply nodded.
“I’m sure he fooled around with her.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. He was trying to hide something. On his pants.”
I looked questioningly at her.
“White stains.”
“What?” I blurted. “You mean—?”
“Yeah.” She nodded firmly. “He tried covering them with his jacket but he couldn’t do that and drive.”
“Jesus.”
“Yeah. He said it was soap from the bathroom, but I knew he was lying.”
“I’ll bet.”
We fell silent for a bit and just drank our coffee as she stewed. After a moment, she stirred.
“Is there something wrong with me?”
“No,” I quickly and firmly said.
“But why then?”
“Because he’s an idiot?” I supplied. “Selfish? Stupid?”
Her lips pursed in a thin smile.
“Guys can do stupid things. Really stupid. I know.”
“What’d you do?”
“A lot of things.” My mind raced through all the mistakes I’d made with Andrea. All the dumb arguments. All the times I’d been petulant instead of supportive.
“Did you cheat?”
“What? No! But ... um, one of my friends did.”
She furrowed her brow. “Who?”
I paused. She knew Kelly and Ann and it wasn’t my place to say anything. But at the same time, maybe it would help...
“I ... um, probably shouldn’t say,” I said.
“Someone I know?”
“Mmm hmm.”
“So why’d he do it?”
“Well...” I slowed down to pick my words. “He, um, wanted to do some wild things.”
“Wild things? You mean like sex stuff?”
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