Traces of Desire
Copyright© 2025 by Big Ed Magusson
Chapter 19
The phone rang at nine Monday night. Len and I both had our heads buried in our textbooks, though his attention wandered more than once. I waited for him to answer it, since it was probably his mom. He didn’t move, though, so I pushed my chemistry book back with a grumble and grabbed the phone.
“Hello?” I said.
“Mike?” Dad asked.
“Hi, Dad. What’s up?”
“Auntie Betty’s in the hospital.”
“Oh, God, what happened?” My imagination began to race.
“She fell and broke her hip.”
“Is ... is she going to be all right?” My heart joined my imagination in racing.
“We don’t know yet. Your mom’s leaving for Grand Junction in the morning. I’ll drive over on Friday.”
“Do you want me to come?” Dad would have to drive through Denver, so Boulder wasn’t too far out of his way if he wanted to pick me up.
“No. I need you to come home.” I could hear the unhappiness in his voice.
“Is everything okay there?”
“Yes, but with your mom and me gone, I need you to watch your sister.”
“Ah. She’s not going.”
“No. It’s Homecoming and your mother said she could stay.”
“Got it.” It wasn’t hard to imagine that argument. But there was no way in God’s green Earth that Mom would let Michelle have the house to herself. Having met Michelle’s boyfriend, I could understand why.
“I’ll call Greyhound and get you a ticket for Friday. When’s your last class?”
We talked through the logistics of me catching a bus down to the Springs and back. Then we hung up.
“What’s up?” Len asked.
I briefly explained, and he nodded sympathetically.
“What was that about a bus?”
I sighed. “No car. I have to take Greyhound.”
He winced in sympathy.
“I’ll be back Sunday night.” Then I caught myself. If I wasn’t back until Sunday night, I’d miss D&D.
I quickly got out my long-distance calling card and tried to call Dad back.
The line was busy.
I waited five minutes and tried again. Then five more minutes and tried again. This time Dad picked up.
“I forgot,” I said, “I’ve got a commitment Sunday afternoon. Can I come back Sunday morning?”
“No. I’ve already bought the ticket for Sunday night.”
“You sure?”
“Mike...” I could hear the warning tone. I knew Joey and Carmen would be disappointed. I was disappointed. But there was no point in arguing. Not with Dad. Not about this.
“Okay,” I said.
“Good. See you Friday.”
With that, he hung up.
I called Joey immediately after I got off the call with Dad. He was disappointed but he understood. He’d also let everyone else know and we’d pick up the game the following Sunday.
The next day, I came home to the now familiar incense, but Julie had long since left. We had a pleasant movie night with Liz and some others the night after that, but otherwise, I spent the week studying and getting ahead on my homework. Friday I packed my backpack with toiletries and a few clothes and headed out.
Dad met me when I got off the bus in Colorado Springs right before dinner. He looked tired and forced a smile as I approached.
“How’s Auntie Betty?” I asked.
“Not good.”
“Oh? Uh ... how bad?”
“She’ll live. She’s out of the ICU but not out of the woods yet.”
I let out a relieved breath. I didn’t know Auntie Betty as well as I should’ve, but she was always nice to us. We visited her once a year, usually in June. Her mobile home was filled with plush, soft embroidered pillows and always smelled of lavender. She made a point of giving Michelle and me cookies, though in recent years they’d been store-bought instead of homemade.
“So she’s still in the hospital?” I asked.
He sighed deeply. “Yeah. For at least a week.”
“Ah.”
“It’s been difficult. Both for your mom and me. We’ve talked, but...” he shook his head.
I blinked. Dad usually wasn’t this forthcoming.
“We don’t know what’s going to happen with her,” he continued. “Once they decide she can go home. She really shouldn’t be living by herself, and assisted care...” He let out another long sigh.
“It’s bad?” I asked.
“No, expensive.” He grimaced. “I don’t know if we can afford it.”
My chest tightened. I hadn’t missed the “we”.
“And your sister,” he grumbled. “She’s—well—you know how she is.”
“Mmm.” Given the way she argued with them, that could mean anything.
“But she has stepped up in your mom’s absence,” he grudgingly added. “Maybe there’s hope for her.”
I kept silent about that.
We arrived home to find Michelle had dinner on the table—chicken enchilada casserole, my favorite. She grinned when she saw my face light up, but didn’t say anything beyond that. I looked a question at her, but her return smile was inscrutable.
Dad started off the dinner conversation by laying out the plans for the weekend. He’d leave after dinner and be home Sunday afternoon in time to get me to my return bus. They’d call Saturday night after the dance to make sure Michelle had gotten home okay (she managed to control her face when he said that, to her credit). We had food and emergency money, but he’d check to see how much we’d spent. Mrs. Culpepper from next door would also check in to see if we needed anything. He asked more than once if we understood, but was satisfied by our nods.
Then he caught himself. He’d been talking instead of eating and his plate was still full while ours were half empty.
“So...,” he said, “Mike. How’s college?”
“It’s fine. My classes are going okay.” I talked a little about what I’d been studying, but left out the problems with my chemistry lab partner. Dad would’ve either worried or given me advice that I probably didn’t want to hear.
“Sounds like all work and no play,” Michelle quipped.
“Oh, I don’t know.” I gave Dad a quick glance but he was wolfing down his food and didn’t notice. “Len and I hang out a lot. Oh, and I started playing Dungeons and Dragons.”
Michelle wrinkled her nose, but quickly covered it.
“Just remember,” Dad said, “you’re there for school, not games, understand?” He gave me a pointed look.
“Mmm hmm,” I replied. No way was I going to forget that.
He quickly finished his food and pushed back from the table.
“I need to get on the road,” he said. “I want to be there before midnight.”
He stood and left the kitchen, leaving his dirty dishes behind.
Michelle looked at them and rolled her eyes. He hadn’t even asked her to clear them.
But a moment later he bustled back through with his suitcase. He gave us a quick wave and then was gone.
Michelle waited a whole ten seconds before she said, “So let’s talk.”
I laughed. “He hasn’t even left the garage.”
She cocked an ear until we could hear the garage door going up. As we waited, she sat tense in her chair, with her elbows on the table. Somehow in the kitchen light, she seemed older than eighteen. Admittedly, sometimes it felt like she was a decade my senior.
This was not one of those times.
After a minute we heard the garage door going back down.
She leaned back and crossed her arms.
“So,” she said, “I wanna have Sean over.”
I let out an exasperated sigh. That was exactly why Dad wanted me home.
“I don’t need a babysitter. I’m eighteen for Chrissakes!”
I blinked at her mild blasphemy, mostly out of a knee-jerk reaction. But Mom wasn’t here to be scandalized.
“It’s just because I’m a girl!”
“Yeah,” I agreed.
“So I wanna have him over. You used to have Andrea over—
I grimaced. She had me there.
“So why can’t I have Sean over?”
“‘Cause you’d get caught.”
“Not if you don’t tell them.”
I sighed. “I can’t lie to them.”
“Why not?” Her tone was sharp. “You lied to them all the time.”
“No.” I leaned back in my chair. “I just didn’t tell them things.”
“So you lied by omission.”
“Which is very different. Besides ... what I meant was I can’t lie to them. Mom always knows.”
Michelle grimaced. She knew I was right.
“So when they call tomorrow night late, I can’t tell them Sean’s not here if he is.”
She continued to glare at me, but slowly softened.
“Besides, Mrs. Culpepper will tell Dad his car was here. You know she’ll be watching the house.”
Which was true. Mrs. Culpepper was very sweet and often made us cookies, but she had definite opinions on what was Right and Proper and she got along swimmingly with Mom.
“Nosy busybody,” Michelle groused.
“Dad could even call her first, before us.” I wouldn’t put it past him, and neither would Michelle.
She sighed.
“So...,” I offered. “What about earlier in the day?”
She furrowed her brow.
“Mrs. Culpepper goes to babysit her grandkids Saturday mornings, remember?”
Michelle slowly nodded. “Yeah ... I think she still does that.”
“So have Sean come over then.”
She brightened at my suggestion and considered it for a moment before asking, “So ... where will you be?”
“I can walk over to the bus stop and go downtown for a couple of hours. Say until... 12:30?” That way I could eat lunch at home instead of buying it.
“Yeah ... yeah.” She smiled. “That could work. Thank you!”
“What are big brothers for?”
The next morning, I caught the bus downtown as planned. I wandered around for a while, but since I didn’t have any money I was mostly just window shopping. Eventually, I made my way over to the library, which was only two blocks off Main Street. Since Lori had mentioned she liked Heinlein but I hadn’t read much of his stuff, I picked up Time Enough for Love. I read the first novella, which I found interesting. I put it back and made a mental note to look for it in the CU library.
I caught the bus back and dawdled a bit on my walk home. I was going to arrive at 12:30 and not a minute earlier. Not a minute later, either, because I was hungry. I didn’t see Mrs. Culpepper and Sean’s car wasn’t parked out front, so I figured everything was good.
I walked in to find the living room and kitchen empty. I began to wonder but then I realized I could hear the shower running. I headed down the hall toward my bedroom and sure enough, that’s what I heard. The bathroom door was closed and I could imagine the steam.
Michelle’s bedroom door sat wide open and the messy bed caught my eye. Mom had insisted that we make our beds every morning, so I was pretty sure what that meant. I paused and looked in.
The sheets were askew and the pillow out of place. Some purple lacy panties and a matching bra lay thrown on the floor. When I looked a bit closer, I spotted two opened condom wrappers on her nightstand.
Well, at least they were using protection.
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