Traces of Desire - Cover

Traces of Desire

Copyright© 2025 by Big Ed Magusson

Chapter 9

We stayed at the bar another hour or so until we’d all finished our drinks. The conversation continued in the car on the way back to the dorm and we said goodbye to the women in the courtyard. Len yawned almost as soon as we entered the room. I grabbed my toiletry bag and headed to the bathroom.

When I returned, I found Len lounging in his chair. He’d changed into the t-shirt and boxers he used as pajamas and had a book in hand, but hadn’t actually gone to bed. He smiled at me and waited until I closed the door.

“Hey,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about the movie some more.”

“Yeah?” I leaned against my desk.

“What if the guys had been okay with it?”

I thought about it and shrugged. “No story then.”

“What do you mean?”

“No dramatic tension, so no plot.”

“Eh ... you could come up with something else.”

“But then why do you need three guys?” I countered. “They have to be there for a reason.”

He conceded my point with a nod.

“I can see some plotlines where she has to pick between them for some reason,” I said, “but that’s just a love triangle romance—quadrangle?—a love triangle with one more person.”

“So the quadrangle’s the problem?”

I furrowed my brow and looked at him.

“No...,” I said. “A quadrangle or triangle’s the same problem.”

“Which is...?”

“It’s obvious.”

“Not to me.”

I snorted in disbelief, but he continued to look at me with a flat expression, like he really didn’t get it.

“It’s too many people,” I said.

“In the relationship?”

“Yeah. I mean, that’s how love triangles work. She’s gotta choose. That’s the whole tension.”

“But what if she doesn’t?”

“Doesn’t what?” I was baffled. Why didn’t he get it?

“Choose.”

I furrowed my brow. “But she has to.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause she does.”

Len mused for a moment. “Okay, so why can’t you love more than one person?”

“You just can’t!”

“Why not? What about your parents? You love them, don’t you?”

“Because that’s not how it works.” I tilted my head as I looked at him still very confused. “Besides, parents are different.”

“But you get my point.”

“Not really,” I admitted. “I think if she didn’t choose, you’d end up with something like what happened in the movie.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Len conceded. “You could have a happier ending, though.”

“Yeah,” I conceded. “The movie could’ve done something lighter at the end there.”

“And sexier.”

I grinned. “That’s true.”

“Mmm hmm. A lot of movies would be better with a little sex in them.”

I laughed. “I don’t know about a lot, but some.”

“Yeah.”

We shared a grin and the conversation petered out as I got ready for bed.


I lay in bed, thinking some about the movie and a lot about the conversation in the bar. My friends’ stories were outrageous, but ... I couldn’t help thinking about them. Watching people have sex out in the open? Watching two women having sex?

My cock started to stir, so I did my best to push my thoughts in a different direction. Every now and then I could hear Len turn a page in his book and there was no way I wanted to have an erection I couldn’t do anything about.

But the conversation had been eye-opening. I’d expected kids from Boulder to have wild stories, but Len was from Loveland and Liz and Sandy were from Cherry Creek. Those were pretty normal, middle of the road communities. And they were skinny dipping and having wet t-shirt contests?

And then there was Liz’s story about her friend’s brother...

I squirmed thinking about that.

I’d never seen Michelle naked or in her panties. Just her bikini, that one time. But if she’d been sunbathing nude, like Liz and her friend...

I shuddered.

Honestly, I probably would’ve peeked. I wouldn’t’ve been able to help myself.

But, gah!

I felt disgusted at that thought. Peeking at my sister?

Yeah.

Though I never would’ve stolen her panties! I’d seen them in the laundry, same as Len probably had when he’d said Lori’s weren’t sexy.

What made panties sexy was the woman wearing them.

Like Lori...

I sighed.

Lori’s panties were sexy because Lori was wearing them.

God, were they sexy. She was sexy.

But Len didn’t think so. Which was a relief. Because if he’d seen her like I’d seen her...

Whew.

I imagined it’d be worse than Michelle in her bikini. Uncomfortable times ten.

I needed to stop thinking about Michelle. I needed to stop thinking about Lori. All I was doing was making it hard to fall asleep.

I decided to think about Casablanca—a classic love triangle story with a truly satisfying ending. I replayed scenes from it in my head until I finally drifted off.


We got our class schedules the next morning. My lectures were clustered in the middle of the day on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, with labs all afternoon on Tuesday and Thursday. In contrast, Len only had one class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which started at eight a.m.

I groaned when he told me.

“Dude, that’s gonna be rough,” I said.

“Yeah, but then I’ve got the rest of the day free. That’ll be cool.”

I nodded, but then spotted my own silver lining. Len would be out of the room and I could have some guaranteed privacy.

I immediately thought of the Playboy hidden among my computer manuals. The manuals I hadn’t let Mom carry in from the car. I might be able to finally get the Playboy out.


After lunch, Len and I wandered around campus so we could find where our classes were. I had to admit, I liked the architecture. My high school campus had been pretty bland, which made for horrible photo backdrops, but the red sandstone walls would’ve been beautiful for anything from portraits to cameos. Even better, combined with terra cotta roofs, the entire university had a coherent, pretty feel that would lend atmosphere to pictures.

Besides the general architecture, I particularly liked the outdoor theater surrounded by the U-shaped English department building. Len thought it was cool, too. We talked a little about theater and a lot about movies as we made our way through the middle of campus.

We were walking through the student center when we spotted a couple hanging all over each other as they walked ahead of us. He even had his hand on her ass. I glanced at Len. His eyebrows rose as we watched the guy caress his girlfriend’s butt.

“We’re not in Kansas anymore,” he said quietly.

“Yeah.” If I’d grabbed Andrea’s ass in public, my hand would’ve gotten swatted hard.

Andrea. I’d done a pretty good job of not thinking about her the last couple of days, but...

I let out a deep sigh.

“What?” Len asked.

“Huh?”

“That was an awfully big sigh.”

He waited, and the silence stretched on long enough that I felt I had to fill it.

“My ex would’ve never let me do that.” I gestured at the couple.

“Ah.”

“We broke up right before she left for college,” I added.

“Sorry.”

“Yeah. Well. She’s at USC.”

“Ah. And you didn’t want to do long distance.”

I winced. It was more than that, but I ... I didn’t have the words.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Sorry?” I gave him a confused look.

“Yeah. I assumed it was your decision, or, you know, mutual.”

I frowned.

“I was never serious with anyone. So I, uh ... just assumed.”

“I loved her. And ... I thought she loved me.”

“Sorry,” he said again.

I shrugged. The familiar dull ache in my stomach had returned, but I really didn’t have anything to say.

“Well, there’s plenty of fish in the sea.”

I snorted.

“What?”

“You’d know.”

“Yeah, well...”

We walked a little longer before he spoke.

“Does it bother you?”

“What?”

“Julie. Sandy. Me.”

 
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