Chapter 6: Where in the World is Major Mercer

My security team of Randy and the ‘Twin Mountains’ and I climbed aboard a Blackhawk helicopter at 0600 the next morning for a 30-minute ride to the front. We all drew combat gear from the armory for this mission, including M16 rifles for my security team, and an H&K MP5 SMG for myself. We weren’t expecting any trouble, but it did not hurt to be prepared. The helicopter ride to the front was routine.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the phone conversation that I had with Karen the night before on the flight to the front. Why the apology? Why the tears, and who were the people in the background Andi mentioned? I would have plenty of questions for Karen to answer during our next call.

The highlight of the call had been hearing the twins running around with the dogs chasing after them in the background. The girls were screaming, and the dogs were barking up a storm that made me miss everyone even more.

I was concerned, however, by Karen’s overall odd behavior which was so uncharacteristic of her. I’ll bring it up if she acts that way the next time we talk so that we can get everything out in the open.

We touched down a mile behind the front and made our way to the Brigade headquarters. It was just before 0700 and there wasn’t much activity around the unit’s tents. I would have thought that the soldiers would at least be in line for breakfast and going about their daily routine.

We walked into the headquarters tent only to find a skeleton crew of three soldiers, none of which was overly busy. One was reading a sports magazine and the other two were bored and playing a game of tic-tac-toe on a whiteboard placed in the corner. They looked over at us when we came into the tent, and recognizing my rank, came to what they considered attention. I was too shocked to be angry at what I found. I simply asked to see their Commanding Officer and waited while one of them went to look for him.

I had waited twenty minutes before a middle-aged man in pajamas strolled in to the tent.

He didn’t look happy to see me, and I could tell from his body language that this was going to be an unpleasant meeting for both of us.

I remembered from the unit file that their Commander was a Lieutenant Colonel who, in civilian life, ran an agribusiness in Iowa. His position as Unit Commander had been a political reward from the Governor for a past fundraising effort.

The Colonel and I were about to have words, and I didn’t want to damage unit morale by what I was about to say. I suggested that the enlisted personnel leave the tent and grab something from the mess hall.

The ‘Twin Mountains’ stood guard at the HQ tent’s entrance, allowing the Colonel and me to speak without interruption. Randy, meanwhile, acting on his own initiative, conducted a quick inspection of the camp and would report his findings later.

With everyone out of the tent, I started in. First, I addressed the readiness of his unit in the event of a surprise attack from the Iraqi army, which was just a short distance away. I then brought up the fact that his unit, for the most part, was still in bed at 0700. The day officially began at 0500, and everyone was expected to be up and moving by 0600, had PT, were fed, and at their assigned duty stations.

The Colonel got an earful about showing up to the Headquarters tent in his pajamas and robe. He tried to make excuses, saying that they had just arrived and hadn’t had time to settle in, but what finally sealed his fate was when he claimed that he and his unit were ‘civilian-soldiers’. I informed him that I also was a ‘citizen-soldier’, and that I had, until recently, worked in DC and served at the White House part-time.

That last statement got his attention. He had nothing more to say after that.

I suggested that he return to his tent, got dressed like a Lieutenant Colonel, and report back to the HQ tent in less than twenty minutes. He could eat breakfast at his desk later. He left as directed when I finished.

I walked over to the entrance where the ‘Twin Mountains’ stood guard, and told them to let the office staff back in. Word must have gotten around, because the camp had suddenly turned into a beehive of activity. I don’t think that I saw a single soldier loafing around. Everyone seemed to have found something to do, or at least made an effort to look busy.

I went back into the HQ tent chuckling to myself.

The entire morning crew came into the tent and began going about their duties. I asked one of the office staff to get me a line to CentCom. It wasn’t long before the Private let me know that the line was open. I went over to the field phone, identified myself, and asked to speak with the General.

The General came on the line after a few minutes. I reported what I had observed during our conversation, and explained the steps that I had taken to address the situation. The General was direct and asked whether or not I believed a Command replacement was necessary.

Not wanting to tip the office personnel off about the nature of our conversation, I simply answered in the affirmative. The General replied that he would make it happen and ended the call.

It wasn’t twenty minutes, as I had ordered, but closer to twenty-five when the Lieutenant Colonel Brigade Commander finally took his seat at his desk.

I stood back and observed how the office staff worked and interacted with their Commander. The Brigade at least had a competent team managing administrative duties. The office manager was a tough-looking female Sergeant whose name tag read ‘Jorgenson’. That made me smile, and I knew that I had to ask.