Chapter 20

“Do you want a boy or girl?” Ray asked me. His hand rested protectively over my ever-growing belly.

We’ve been home barely twelve hours, coming straight to our place from the airport. We both fell, albeit without grace and tact, into bed once we walked in the door.

The long weekend spent at the resort had provided nurturing time. It was a lovely romantic break. Our spirits were refueled.

The sun was just peeking through our place’s window and the only thing missing was the sound of birds chirping. It was the fairytale part of this whirlwind adventure that I thought I’d never see, but maybe secretly hoped for. I held up my left hand so the sun could hit my ring just right. The light danced, creating a prism of colors and shapes on the ceiling. I used to do this when I was a child, playing with my father’s watch while my mother washed dishes. I’d giggle each time she’d bat away the light acting as if it was some bug bothering her. I hoped to create those moments with my child.

“I don’t know. I just want a healthy baby, but either one has perks. With a little girl you can dress her in pink,” Ray said.

“Pink?” I snorted. “That’s not going to happen.”

Ray shook his head, smiling, “What about a princess outfit?”

I reached out and slapped his arm, laughing.

Ray was silent for what seemed a long time. Deep in thought. A small frown between his eyes.

I elbowed him gently.

He moved and sat next to me. His lips pressed against my temple, my cheek, and then the side of my lips before he snuggled into the crook of my neck. His hand spread out on my bump, his fingers started to tap along my skin.

“Tomorrow, I have an appointment for a checkup with my gynecologist. Will you be there?” I said.

“I’ll do my best. I’ll drive back to Middletown as fast as I can.”

“Please, be careful,” I said with a shiver. “I can ask Mom to come with me if you can’t make it.”

“I’ll be there. I promise.”

I flipped out and then proceeded to cry for no reason.

I felt like a fool. File this in the ‘I have lost my mind’ chronicles.

At six o’clock, I was sitting by myself in a doctor’s office full of pregnant women. I knew most of them, but not enough to make conversation. They looked at the ring on my finger then at the empty chairs on either side of me and shook their heads. Their husbands sat there without a care in the world, reading some old magazine. Their job was done. They fertilized the egg and made their mandatory monthly appearance just to keep their wives happy. I wanted my husband to do the same thing.