Chapter 16

The rest of the weekend, I was in cloud nine. Family and friends left us alone and we enjoyed spending our time in bed.

The next Monday, I wasn’t feeling well. I still had morning sickness.

Ray was worried, but I assured him I was fine.

“You go to work. Relaxing at home sounds like a good idea,” I said, rubbing my tummy.

“I call Jenny and ask her to keep me company if necessary. I’ll go and get some groceries. I have a craving for pecan pie and whipped cream.”

“Are you sure you don’t need me to stay?”

“I’m fine. I think I bought all the pregnancy books on the market. Today, it’s a good opportunity to read some of them.”

“Okay. Promise me you’ll call me if you don’t feel well.”

“I will.”

Most of the books I read scared the crap out of me. However, I couldn’t stop reading them; it was almost like a compulsion. Sometimes, I wondered if I’d just be better off winging it and not researching every single detail of my pregnancy. That way, I wouldn’t know about “this thing that could happen” or “that other thing that might happen if I do this or don’t do that.” Or because something that happened to me ten years ago could mean this or that.

I found myself wondering if I had ever been around any lead paint, or if I had had rubella.

I switched on the TV, and I came across a reality show that promised to take me through one woman’s pregnancy to the birth of her baby.

“It can’t hurt,” I thought. And therefore, I began to watch.

Bad idea!

The show started innocently enough, and the woman walked around a big city being all pregnant and beautiful. She shopped a little and made a good home-cooked meal for herself in her fabulous apartment, while she chatted about the home birth she was planning on having and the nurse who would assist.

“Not a bad life,” I thought.

Then, all of a sudden, the show took a dark turn. She was in labor. She had what they called “back labor” where the contractions were in her back. She was in some major pain. She got down on all fours and howled like a wolf with each contraction. It was almost like watching The Exorcist. Her nurse held her hand. Her husband hovered nervously around. The nurse took her into the bathroom. She got into the bathtub, and then back into the living room. The husband disappeared. She was in enormous pain.