Chapter 9: Rolf

The streets of Seattle were still full of cars. Although the sun had already set, the streets were still bright with the combination of lights on in buildings, as well as vehicle and streetlights. Despite the bustle of activity, I was blind to everything happening around me as my thoughts went back to Rain.

Last night, I had let my anger get the best of me. Rain was one of those rare people who could truly have deep friendships with the opposite sex.

Even so, it was hard for me to comprehend how Rain had all of these “close friends” who happened to be male. I’d never had a platonic female friend that was equivalent to Rain’s relationship with Lukas. Of course, I wasn’t as social as Rain.

I felt intensely protective of her.

I twisted my mouth, recognizing my feelings for what they were, petty jealousy, as I drove through the busy streets of Seattle.

I had to tell Rain how I felt about her. How much she had changed my life from that very first moment I saw her dancing in the rain. How much I enjoyed being with her. How much I loved the way she laughed, even when I wasn’t trying to be funny. How she ... I don’t know ... restored my faith in humanity...? Was that too strong? I don’t think so. Rain definitely restored my faith in life and love.

I knew I had found something real. She was the greatest thing that happened to me. My only concern was about the future.

I had to tell her I loved her and wanted a full relationship with her. A happy, healthy relationship hinges on good communication. I needed to address the elephant in the room.

My mother’s sage advice about relationships came to my mind: “If you don’t rock the boat by talking about the important things in your relationship, one day she may suddenly say, ‘I’m out of here.’ And it will hit you like a brickbat because you didn’t see it coming.”

I felt drained from the long day at the seminar, and the adrenaline leaving my body. I opened the front door, and walked into my house.

“Rain?” I said quietly.

The living room was dark. I stopped and listened, hoping for some clue as to where she was. Dead silence.

“Rain, where are you?” I called out. All the lights were out. I was disappointed that she didn’t run to me and offered me her greeting of light kisses peppered all over my face that I so enjoyed.

I patted the wall for the light switch, and flipped it on. I’m not sure what I expected with the lights on, but nothing seemed different.

A knot formed in my stomach as I scanned the room.

Clenching my fists, I walked across the living room. All I heard was the beating of my own heart and the heaviness of my breath.

Maybe Rain was just asleep. And maybe this feeling in the pit of my stomach was my imagination.

“Please, just be asleep.”

Something else didn’t feel right. Goose bumps formed over my arms.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” I hollered.

“I love you,” I screamed in my mind.

There was a note by the coffee pot. My heart sank.

I had always feared that at some point Rain was going to fly away looking for new adventures.

I felt my stomach knotting as I read what she wrote to me.

I just sat on the couch, numb and in shock, not knowing what to do next. I couldn’t feel anything. I wrestled back and forth with myself.

Why did it have to end? What went wrong? Was it because of our argument? I thought we were good. I thought we were moving toward something.

I needed to talk with Rain one last time and get closure. To know what went wrong and all that.

To do that, first I needed to find her. I knew exactly who could help me.

“Well, well, well, the prodigal son is back. Ready to get your ass kicked in Halo Infinite?” my friend, Daniel, greeted me as soon as he opened the door of his house.

“Hi Daniel, I didn’t come to play Halo, sorry.”

Daniel studied my face for a moment.

“Are you okay?” he asked pointedly.