Epilogue: Laura - Ten months later

“Percy! I hate you!” I screamed at my husband. I closed my eyes and felt an excruciating pain across my stomach.

He held my hand and encouraged me, “It’s almost over, Love.”

“How the hell do you know it, Percy? Do you have some magic Spidey sense telling you that the baby is almost here?”

My husband’s patience had no limit.

“You can do it.”

I steady myself and breathe. I look up at him and say two words. “I know.”

“You’re going to be okay,” Percy whispered.

“Okay? Nothing is okay. I’m in pain and our daughter is stretching my vagina as wide as the Grand Canyon. How is this okay?”

Percy closed his eyes and took a deep breath while I crushed his hand in a tight squeeze.

“Try to breathe as we learned in Lamaze class, Love.”

“Breath? Do you think breathing actually helps with the pain, Percy?”

“I don’t know, Love. All I know is that I love you,” he said kissing my forehead.

My body tightened as another contraction worked its way through my abdomen. “It hurts,” I whined. Tears, or maybe just sweat, rolled down my face. With each contraction, I was growling like a wounded lion.

“I’m sorry you’re going through this, Love.”

“You should be. It’s your fucking Olympic swimmers that did this to me.”

“Laura, we both agreed to have another child...”

“You tricked me with your charming ways and your devil penis! I let you stick that thing in me and now look at me. I look like a beached whale.”

“You’re the most beautiful woman I ever saw,” Percy said running his fingers through my hair.

“How are you feeling, Laura?” the nurse asked me.

“I feel like I’m squeezing a bowling ball through the eye of a needle. I also need to pee.”

The nurse lifted my blanket and put my feet into the stirrups. “Looks like we’re ready to start pushing.”

“We” Is she pushing too?

She went out to look for the doctor. He looked at my vagina, smiled at me, and said, “Okay, Laura, on the count of three I want you to push. Push out your little girl so you can meet her.”

Easier said than done in my opinion, but it was clear no one cared what I thought.

Percy helped me sit up. He held my hand as I pushed down.

I pushed for what felt like forever. I could feel my baby’s body moving down mine. I felt stretched and pulled.

“You’re doing great. Another push, Laura.”

“I can’t do it,” I sobbed, and my husband took my hand, held it tight. I’m sure I crushed Percy’s fingers. I just wanted the pain to go away.

I pushed hard, harder than I thought I could. I yelled as a burning sensation stung my vagina. I couldn’t think. I could only groan.

“Almost there!” the nurses crooned. “You can do it, Laura!”

I did it again and again. Over and over. Each one was more taxing than the one before. Percy held my hand in between the contractions and pushing. He also wiped my forehead for me and moved my hair away from my face. He was doting when all I wanted to do right now was punch him in the nose. I never wanted to go through this again.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I said, out of breath.