Chapter 12

Bella smoothed her shirt down, and then pushed open the glass door to the gym.

Derek greeted her with a crooked grin. He was wearing a grey shirt and loose athletic shorts.

They worked all afternoon, exchanging glances between them, from time to time and smiling. Finally, the day was over.

“Hi,” the shyness in Bella’s voice reminded Derek of what had happened the last time they’d been together. The taste of her returned to his mouth, his palms itched to touch her again.

“Did you miss me?” Annabella asked Derek.

Was Annabella reading his mind ... or the bulge in his pants?

“Um ... yes, I did.” His voice was hoarse with desire, and he coughed, pretending it wasn’t.

She was wearing emerald-green sweatpants, jaggedly cut at mid-thigh. Her blue T-shirt had been cut, as well, just below her breasts.

Most folks didn’t think a guy could care about colors or textures, shapes, sizes or scents. But the essence of life fascinated him, and right now, the essence of life was her.

“Juice?” he tilted his flask.

She could only shake her head.

He frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m fascinated by the goofy smile on your face,” she said.

Derek stood there terrified that if he moved closer, he’d beg to touch her, or have her touch him.

“Are you all right?” Bella asked in a whisper.

He was across the short distance, putting his hands on her shoulders before he remembered he should not touch her.

“I’m just tired. You should be, too,” Derek said.

He yanked his hands from her shoulders. But before he could move away, she grabbed them between hers. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t want our friendship ruined because I kissed you.”

He shook his head. “Bella, I...”

“Foolish of me...” she continued right over his protest, “ ... but I couldn’t stop myself. I’ve been dying to touch you lately.”

All Derek’s protests died in his throat, and he stared at her, amazed.

“I’ve been dreaming of your chest,” she continued. “I can’t stop thinking about kissing your nose.”

He touched his nose, mystified.

“I’ve never been drawn to a man physically the way I am to you, and I’m not handling it well. I know what lust is, and I should be able to control it. But there is more to it. It’s not just lust or infatuation. It’s deeper than that. I can’t think when you’re around me. I get all fluffy headed when I hear your voice ... I wake up in the morning thinking of you, and you are my last thought when I go to bed at night.”

Derek glanced behind him, but he was still the only man in the room. It felt as if he had fallen into a parallel universe. Confused, he could only stare at her. Was she saying what he thought she was saying?

Annabella covered her face with her hands. “I must be more light-headed than I thought, to be telling you all this.”

Light-headed? He saw her holding on to a treadmill for balance. Derek moved close enough to catch her if she fell. “Are you all right?”

“I don’t know what I am anymore. Confused. Embarrassed. Afraid...”

He inched back. He was big, huge, in fact, strong, scary-looking, too. He’d been trained in violence, committed it a lot, though not lately, but for her to say she was afraid of him hurt more than Derek could have imagined.

“Bella, you don’t have to be afraid of me,” he protested. “I’m never going to hurt you.”

She dropped her hands and stared at him with wide eyes. “Afraid of you? How could anyone be afraid of you?” She shook her head as if she could not fathom it. “I’m afraid that wanting you so badly, I can’t think straight and that will take away the one thing I’ve always wished for and never had.”