Chapter 6

We resumed our friendship where we left off. At first, we didn’t move out of the friend zone. I wasn’t quite ready to admit the depth of my feelings for Kat.

Although we never were officially in a relationship, the closeness we developed felt securely cemented. We did everything couples usually do, except that neither of us considered we were dating.

Senior year arrived sooner than any of us had anticipated, and thoughts turned to graduating school, and me going to college.

Dad and I were as close as ever. He was still my hero. He taught me to be a man of my word. He usually kept his nose out of my life and I returned the favor.

So I was surprised when he said to me, “They say you and the Davies girl are going out together, Red.”

“It’s not like that, Dad. We’re not dating.”

“Treat her well, son. She’s had a hard life already.”

“We’re just friends, Dad.”

“Then be a good friend to her.”

Kat started to spend most of her time on our farm. After classes, she used to come home with me. She taught me to dance and I became pretty good at it.

We went to the movies. We went dancing. We went hiking. We walked hand in hand in the woods. We laughed. We hugged and one day we kissed at the willow tree.

One thing led to another and, once we both were eighteen, we were also our firsts. After that, I worried she was going to consider me her boyfriend or something and tried to keep my distance. I didn’t want to get emotionally closer because I didn’t want to end with a broken heart like my dad. She saw through my concerns and came up with a proposal I never expected.

“Have you heard about friends with benefits, Red?”

“I heard something about it, yes.”

“Friends with benefits are two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved or give any kind of commitment. We have sex, but there are no feelings involved. If we stopped having sex, we’d still be friends.”

Of course, we were both fooling ourselves. Each had strong feelings for the other. Deep feelings. But, for different reasons, we were both afraid of them.

I think Kat didn’t want to drag me into her crazy family situation. On the other hand, I was going away to college soon; it wasn’t the best moment to start a committed relationship.

I wasn’t ready to completely open up my heart to any girl, Kat included. I was comfortable with the “friends” label while I enjoyed the benefits. I was afraid to take the risk of loving someone only to get hurt.

Of course, we went to the prom dance together. We ended up at the old willow tree watching the sunrise together. I could sense Kat had something on her mind.